So, I had to go to the university today. It's getting a bit hotter so I tried to wear shorts and a simple shirt. My usual outfit is a blouse and a skinny jeans but I was rushing a while ago so I did not have the time to go see other clothes.

I entered the classroom and realized that I'm earlier than usual.

"Soojin, you're Soojin, right?" A young lady talked to me.

"Yes, why?" I did not know someone knows me here. Almost all of them have a group of friends except me.

"I heard you're working with Seventeen as one of their staff. Is that true?"

I paused for a while.

Where did she get this kind of information? It's not that I'm going to lie about my job. But I just want to make everything as private as possible. The fans of Seventeen aka Carats do not care that much about the identity of the staff for Seventeen and that's one of the reasons why I'm afraid if they'll know my identity. I don't want to cause any trouble to the group nor to the fans just because... Mingyu and I have a sort of uhm... a romantic relationship.

"Yes, it's true." I closed my eyes and suddenly wanted to take back my answer when I saw this classmate of mine squealed in happiness.

"Great! Great! If that's true, then can I take a picture with Seventeen? I'm really a huge fan! I'm a loyal carat!"

What? This girl hasn't even introduced herself to me yet. And she's asking a picture with Seventeen. That's not that hard to do but if she's really a fan, then why can't she do it on her own. She has probably seen the group more than once.

"And oh! I also want an autograph of each of the members, it's not a hard job to do, right? Through your help, maybe I can---"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. Maybe you can just attend their fan meetings so you could experience meeting them in person. Haven't you attended, yet?" I don't want to act and sound rude as much as possible.

"But with your help---"

The girl was about to say something again when my phone rang.

Phew, saved by the bell. I opened my handphone and looked at the girl.

"Excuse me, I have to take this call."

I walked out of the room and went to the nearest bench.

My frowning face changed when I heard the voice from the other line. It's Mingyu, of course.

"Hi, Soojin." His voice sounds so manly yet so cute, I can't even.

"What are you doing now?" I asked him.

God, I miss him so much. It's only been two days but I miss Mingyu so bad. I want to tell him to come back quickly but I don't want to interfere with his job.

"I'm in the hotel room. You?"

I can imagine him lying on his bed, alone.

"I'm here at the university right now. Are you done with the Kcon?"

"We'll be performing today. I miss you so bad, Soojin. Don't you miss me, too?"

I almost shrieked. This babo. Of course, I miss you, too.

"Goodluck with your performance, then! A lot of girls will surely be falling for your charm." Like I did.

"Hmmm, just tell me if you miss me so bad, too. I would probably be flying back to Korea just for you."

I smiled. Mingyu just won't stop sweet talking to me. Ever since he flew to New York, he always calls me when he has time. I'd always answer. This is the only way we could communicate.

I saw our professor entered the room so I had to say goodbye to Mingyu for now.

When I went home after a long, tiring day, I noticed Jaejin holding an envelope in his hands.

"Hey, what's that?"

He tried to hide the envelope but I've already seen it.

"Ah, noona, that's nothing."

My curiosity got bigger by the way he acts so I walked towards him to grab the envelope. It's a letter from Pledis.

"What's this?"

I read the whole letter from the management.

It says that Jaejin has succesfully passed all the tests and auditions in the hopes of becoming a trainee in Pledis. Now, he can finally be an official trainee once the management talks to the guardians of the person.

"What is this, Jaejin?!" My voice raised.

"Noona, I auditioned a month ago. I kept it from you because I know you won't allow me to." His guilty face is so obvious.

My eyes widened in surprise.

"When have you learned to keep secrets from your sister?"

"It was unexpected. I just pushed my luck. I did not expect to be qualified for the next audition."

"Does Sungjin know this?" I asked Jaejin.

I am completely baffled when Jaejin nodded his head.

"Ah, so it's okay not to inform your noona but it's okay to inform your hyung, is that it? Do you know how you've hurt my feelings right now, Jaejin?"

His eyes reflects sadness and guilt.

"I'm so sorry, noona. I just want to follow my dream of becoming an idol. I admire Seventeen. I admire all the hyungs from Seventeen. I want to be like them someday, too." Jaejin explained.

I shook my head.

No. No. This is not what i want my brother to be.

"You have to dream of something else." I told him seriously before going upstairs and went inside my room.

Five minutes later, Mingyu was calling me again. I guess he has a lot of free time today.

"Soojin," Just by hearing his voice makes my vibe get better. I don't know how he does it.

"I'm going to Pledis this evening." I told Mingyu.

I breathed deeply.

"Is everything okay?" He asked. I guess he noticed through my voice that I am not okay.

I laid on my bed and tried to relaxed.

"Jaejin wants to train as an idol. He passed the audition in Pledis."

I heard Mingyu gasped.

"Wow! Congrats! That's good news."

I massaged my forehead.

"No, it's no good news. I don't want him to become an idol."

"But why? Aren't you supposed to be supportive of your brother's ambition?"

Nobody understands me.

"No, I don't think he has to be an idol. I can be supportive of whatever he dreams of otherwise."

"Soojin, you gotta let your brother dream of what he wants---"

"I said no! Don't you get me? When Jaejin becomes an idol, he'll suffer a lot. His life will get worse. There will be no more privacy in his life. Maybe he thinks being an idol is good but I have a contradicting opinion on that. Being a celebrity is exhausting."

I did not expect I was able to speak that fast without any stammer whatsoever.

Mingyu did not say anything.

He did not need to say anything, actually. I felt it. I felt like what I said was wrong. Maybe I was just too mad that I did not know how to control my words.

"Okay, sorry for interfering. I'll hang this up now. The hyungs are calling me."

But of course I did not need to know that he's lying. Mingyu was trying to avoid the conversation so he just decided to end it.

I looked at my handphone screen for a long time. What did I do? What did I tell him? I've hurt Mingyu's feelings and I feel so guilty about it. Maybe he thinks that I do not really like his life of being an idol. I said harsh words and he thinks I'm thinking that life as a celebrity because I work with Seventeen and I know how his life is.

Later that evening, I went to Pledis for a discussion in Seventeen's Aju Nice music video.

We talked about the whole concept with the director. We thought of the plot and the sequence. The members will shoot the music video tomorrow. The songs are already prepared as well as the repackaged album. The photos for the album jacket are done as well. The members had to go to New York so we had to delay the music video making for the meantime.

After four days, the Seventeen members will finally be coming back here in Seoul tomorrow.

I'm excited to see them especially Mingyu, of course.

But I don't think he's that excited to see me.

After the conversation that we had a while ago, I haven't received any texts or calls from him anymore. He'd usually text me when he can't call me because of his schedule but right now, not even a single text has been sent to my number.

What's wrong with him?

"Everyone, this is Lee Haeun, a model and a rookie actress. She'll be the female lead in the boys' music video." Ms. Park announced.

My wandering mind focused on the girl who just entered the room.

A tall, skinny girl stood before us. She smiled at us and introduced herself. She's so pretty, too.

"When the members arrive from New York tomorrow, we'll immediately be shooting for their mv. Please make sure to be on the set on time." Ms. Park gazed at me when she emphasized her words.

"Soojin, I'll be assigning you to work with Haeun tomorrow. You'll read the script and tell her what to do for the scenes."

"Alright." I said.

I went home after the meeting. I spent my night waiting for a call or text from someone but I did no receive anything.

I slept and woke up in frustration after hearing my alarm. It's too early in the morning but I have no choice but to wake up.

I immediately checked my phone but it has nothing in the messages.

"Fine!"

I got up and decided to just focus on my day because I know it's gonna be a hell long one.

We arrived in the set and prepared everything. The director is already here and we are just waiting for the members to come. I heard that they've already arrived from New York and are having styled first.

Wonwoo is here already. He's been keeping me company, actually.

"Soojin, Haeun is here." A staff approached me.

I remembered I was assigned to assist the female model.

"Are you alright, Soojin? You look distracted." Wonwoo asked me.

"I'm okay, don't worry." I want to tell him about my problem with Mingyu and with my younger brother but I don't think it's a nice timing to tell him. And he has his other problem to deal with so I won't add any more worries to my friend.

I went to the female model and explained to her what she should do. She's going to have a scene with each of the members. The stroyline is somehow generic, a bunch of guys are in love with the same girl. I remember watching their Mansae music video and it's not far from this one. The twist though, is that they will put a balloon thing on the chest of the members and let it pop. It's like a symbol for the heart attack thing when they see the girl that they like. I kind of cringe with this whole thing. I don't even think I'd be jealous that much when this girl gets a scene with Mingyu later on. It's not that I love him less because I don't jealous but it's because I trust him enough not to get jealous.

One huge car arrived. I knew the members are here. They all fit inside.

"They're so hyper." The girl I am with, Haeun, commented.

"They sure are. I don't think they'd ever be quiet especially when they're all together."

"But Wonwoo can't join the comeback promotions, right?" I'm surprised she knows about Wonwoo's condition.

I guess she noticed my reaction.

"I'm a fan." She told me then laughed.

Great! How lucky can a fan be when she gets to star as the female protagonist in her idol group's music video?

The members were rushed to the fitting room to change to the outfits for the music video. I saw Mingyu but like I said, maybe he was too busy that he wasn't able to talk to me or look at me.

Mingyu is wearing a black and white striped shirt and a weird long pants. No matter how weird his clothes are, he's still handsome regardless.

The first scene was with Jisoo. He has to walk towards the girl in a slow manner. I almost cringed at his expression. The director is a bit strict, that's what I've noticed. The members can't laugh too loud because he'll shush anyone who does.

I was with the staff, of course. The girl had to act almost emotionless and she's nailing it already.

The next scene was with Seokmin. The scenes went on until it's Mingyu's turn.

I tried to catch his gaze but he's really not looking at me. He talks to the staff and even to the director but not to me. Worse is, he's even smiling and laughing with them. What's wrong with him? Ugh!

We were in the area where there's a swing.

"You'll be sitting here, Haeun." I told the girl. She sat on the right side then Mingyu went and sat on the left side.

"Alright, you know the scene, right? In 5, 4, 3, 2, camera roll!" The director immediately ordered the camera to roll.

The female protagonist did not know what to do. She looked at my direction.

"I'm sorry, am I going to just look at him?" She asked.

I almost panicked. But I have already explained this part to her.

"You're supposed to move closer to his side with a poker face, still. Then Mingyu, you stay a bit away from her as if avoiding her." I told the two what they should do.

"How long will you talk about the scene?" The director shouted.

I moved aside and let the director lead.

But then again, it was Mingyu's mistake this time. He did not move away from the girl. I was surprised, too. They were so close!

"Soojin, Soojin-ah!" Mr. Ahn called me.

I looked at him and he has this don't-make-the-director-angry expression.

"What if Soojin reeinact it first?" It was Jeonghan who suggested it. His scene will be the next up and I guess he's been getting tired from waiting.

"Okay, okay, maybe she can try to act it out first." The director referred to me. I looked around me and everyone was looking at me. I don't have a choice but to agree to do it because I don't want to cause any more delays.

Haeun stood and made me sit on the swing.

"Action!"

The song was playing. I just imagined Mingyu singing his parts to me. He looked good as usual. And finally, he's looking at me!

"Mingyu," I held on the strings on the swing and stepped a bit closer to him. He looked unamused and stepped a bit farther.

I was in awe. I called him! I freaking called his name! He surely heard me. But he looked like he doesn't want to talk to me. Is he still mad about my opinion about the idol life?

"Nice! Nice one!"

The scene went well after I acted it out.

I think it's the first time that Mingyu tried to avoid me like that. It's not so him. He'll usually be the one to move first. He'll greet me or hug me or kiss me but... but... I sigh. Maybe he's really not in the mood to talk to me right now.

The shoot continued until evening. We have to shoot for a special rooftop version of the music video. But before that, we all had dinner first in the rooftop. There were different kinds of meals. I just realized how hungry I was.

"How was your Kcon experience, guys?" A staff asked them.

"I was amazed that even some korean fans went there to see us. They're daebak!" Seungkwan gestured a thumbs up.

"And the members shopped for clothes and stuff." Said Seungcheol.

"Ah, noona, Mingyu hyung bought something for---" Chan was talking to me when Mingyu put a roll of kimbap in his mouth.

I kept mum while the members are laughing.

I guess Mingyu's mood has changed. I noticed how he whispered Wonwoo to move and give a space beside me so he could sit there.

He sat there but I ignored him. Huh, he avoided me a while ago. I still can't get over that.

"Everyone, Haeun will just say goodbye to you."

The female protagonist that I assisted said her thanks and bid goodbye us. She mentioned me and told me that I'm a hardworking staff. I thanked her, too.

I ate my dinner fast and excused myself so I could go to the washroom. I need to pee. I went inside and the three cubicles were all open. I went to the third one. After peeing, I went to the sink and washed my hands. Everything went too fast, I just saw Mingyu standing in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" My voice raised.

"Sssshhhh!" He closed my mouth with his hand.

"I can't take it anymore, Soojin. I should be the one getting mad at you for saying bad things about being an idol---"

"I did not say bad things about being an idol! I just said what I think being an idol is. You just did not understand!"

"Okay, okay, just don't shout or they'll catch us here." Mingyu looked a bit worried that someone might see him here.

"You should have thought of that before entering a female comfort room."

"I know but I can't take it. My hands are itching to hug you but you just won't budge. I sat beside while eating dinner but you did not look affected by my presence. Maybe that's what I get from being away from you for four days." He sounded pathetic but looked so cute. Gosh.

I cleared my throat.

"Just for clarification, I did not want my brother to join the entertainment industry not because I hate the celebrities. But I hate how his privacy will be invaded by fans. You, Kim Mingyu, do not need to bother thinking about your family but Jaejin is an illegitimate child and I'm scared that people will hurt him because of that. I don't want other people hurting my brother, you know."

I just thought it's better to explain my side to him so we could have a closure about this issue.

Mingyu wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt my cheeks flushed.

"I'm sorry, Soojin."

"I'm sorry, too."

He hugged me and I hugged him tighter. He suddenly hugged me as tight as he can that I felt him lifting me already.

"I miss you so much, Soojin. I've been in hell without you." He kissed my temple and sniffed my hair.

"I've missed you, too."

We looked at each other's eyes, our faces only inches apart. I anticipated for a kiss from him. This better be romantic even if we're still in the wash room. I was about to close my eyes and wait for our lips to touch when I hear the knocks outside.

"Is anybody here?" A female voice knocked on the door of the washroom.

I looked at Mingyu and realized we're screwed.