15

I don't know why Mingyu is beside me. I told him not to come and follow me but he insisted. We were walking our way to the subway so we can go back to Pledis - for him to train and for me to talk to my brother because I'm sure he knew Mingyu was studying in that school but he still told me to go there. I really hate him sometimes.

"Are you hungry?" I heard Mingyu asked.

I ignored him and just continued walking.

"Even if you keep ignoring me like that, you can't make me stop from following you around."

I sighed and faced him. Gosh, it's so hard to look at him in the eye because of the fact that I am just tall as the level of his chest.

"You know what, Mingyu, yes, I admit. I do no longer go to Pledis because of you. I was sorry because I said something stupid to you without even hearing your side of the story. But that's already done. I want to focus on something that would benefit me. I don't want to be happy-go-lucky anymore. I want my life to have a direction. I don't want to rely on anybody to be a success."

Mingyu seemed to have taken aback with what I said.

"Soojin, I just really want to talk to you. I want to clear things. If you let me talk to you now, then I promise to leave the decision to you and I will respect whatever that decision is."

I wanted to act tough. I want him to see the change in me but then... His eyes were pleading. Who am I to say no?

"Okay, I give up. What do you want to talk about?"

WE went in a coffee shop just nearby. He guided me towards a table for two people. I saw him walked to the counter. Few minutes later, he's back on his seat across mine.

He was looking at me seriously so I know he'd start talking any minute by now using a serious tone.

"I missed you."

My sleeping heart felt like it was kicked because of what I heard. I feel something weird in my tummy like somethings were flying in there.

"W-what?" I did know what to say so I asked him that. Stupid, Soojin.

"I said I missed you. I missed the Soojin I used to be with. The always-smiling Soojin - the smile that gave me the energy for the day. Ever since Wonwoo and I confessed to you, something's changed. Wonwoo told you he likes you and you started avoiding him. I didn't want to take the risk and get rejected like what happened to him but I know I had to. You needed to know what I was feeling for you because I want you aware of it. I don't want you to see me as just your friend. But then, the same thing happened to me. You avoided me too. I thought you like me back. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry, Soojin. For making you feel uncomfortable after that. I'm sorry for being too clingy and for sometimes crossing the line of our friendship. I just... didn't know how to hide my love for you."

Wait... wait...

This is a whole lot to digest.

Where is this conversation going?

Why is he being so deep and serious right now it scares me.

Good thing our order was ready when he was waiting for my response. He stood and excused himself. He went to the counter and got the order.

He put the iced mocha in front of me.

"I know you don't drink coffee that much so I hope you'd like that instead." He said then smiled.

I am so confused. One moment he's serious and one moment he's smiling.

Mingyu likes coffee. Besides the fact that he worked in a coffee shop before, he likes coffee because it keeps him awake when he's tired and sleepy. He once served me a coffee in the Pledis building and I liked it. He said he added lots of cream in it and it was a special coffee especially made by him. Who am I to say no?

"As I was saying, Soojin, I'm sorry for pressuring you but I am not sorry for showing you my feelings. This is my first time falling in love and I know this isn't just a typical puppy love. You might think we're too young for this. Or that I'm not meant for you. But Soojin, this is what I feel about you. I can't change it. You see, I tried to. We avoided each other for weeks and those weeks felt like hell without you."

"You're training and studying at the same time. Even if I tell you now that I have feelings for you too, you might not have time for our relationship. I don't want you to divide your attention into something we are not sure of."

This time, Mingyu held my hand that was on the table. I got conscious because my palms were sweaty. It becomes sweaty when I'm nervous.

"Why are you so cynical, Soojin?"

My eyes widened.

He looked like so much in pain.

"It hurts me when you think that we won't make it as a couple. Don't you trust me?"

Oh god, this is becoming dramatic and as much as possible, I don't want to have this kind of conversation to others.

Silence filled us both and I tried to pull my hand back but he won't let me. He held it tighter.

I can feel my heart beating so fast now.

What's stopping you, Soojin?

I think I'm already sure with my feelings but how should I tell him now? Aigoo, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.

"Soojin?"

I stared at Mingyu and tried to calm all the muscles in my body. I need to say this. He deserves to hear me say this.

"Fine."

Mingyu's expression slowly turned into a curious one.

"Fine what? What do you mean by fine?" He sounds so hopeful.

"Well, m-maybe we can become more than friends if that's what you like." I immediately looked away when I said that.

This time, Mingyu held both of my hands and he kissed it. I was so surprised and I looked around to see if someone noticed it.

"Thank you, Soojin. That's enough for me."

I can't help but to smile as I see him smile. He looks like the Mingyu I used to have as a friend. But now, he's my uh... boyfriend?

WE finished drinking in the coffee shop and were walking at the park in Han River. Yep, we're back through the subway. We sat beside each other in the train. He was smiling the whole time but he's not touching my hand like he did in the coffee shop.

"Mingyu, do you think we should keep this a secret?" I asked him. I was hesitating to tell everyone about our relationship because they might think we're too young to be in one.

Mingyu looked at me as if I was kidding.

"Why should we? They deserve to know. We're a couple, now."

Oh gosh, it sounds so good coming from him.

"Sungjin might not like it when he knows about our relationship. It's not that he doesn't approve of you, actually, he really likes you for me. I just don't want my brother and also my parents to think that I'm not taking my studies seriously. Maybe we can tell them in the future?" My tone wasn't sure because I can sense Mingyu's expression changing.

"You agreed to be mine but you don't want them to know?"

I am starting to be scared with the way he asks me questions. I don't like the serious Mingyu I'm facing.

"Fine. I'll tell my family about us but maybe not soon. Give me some time to tell them. I'll tell Sungjin first and then my parents. Wait a minute, so you mean you'll tell your family about us immediately?" I asked him.

We were still walking. The cold weather makes me want to hug Mingyu but no, I won't be that clingy.

He chuckled.

"Actually, I already told my parents about us when we were in the subway. They approved."

WHAT? They don't even know me personally yet. I guess his parents aren't that strict with him being in a relationship. Wait, does that mean they've approved of his relationships before? Has he had a girlfriend before me?

I stopped walking. I was looking at the ground.

"Mingyu..."

"Yes? You aren't looking at me again." He held my chin and made me face him.

"Have you courted other girls before?"

Mingyu laughed and held my shoulders.

"Soojin, we've known each other for months now. I know we still have lots of things to know about each other but I assure you that I haven't done romantic things to other girls before. It's only you that I want to be romantic with. And since you're my girlfriend now," his face went closer to me and I held my breath as he closed his eyes and kissed me... on my cheek.

"Mingyu!" I pushed him.

I bet my face is so red right now.

He chuckled.

"Why did you do that?! You aren't supposed to do that?" I was frowning already. I wanted to cover my face because he might see how red my face is. This is so embarassing.

"Says who?" He just kept laughing.

I stiffed my face and walked pass him. He walked beside me and put an arm on my shoulder.

"Mingyu, you're so clingy. It's not even twenty four hours since we're a couple and you're starting to get into my nerves already." I said honestly.

"Soojin, we're done talking about the serious stuff. Don't you think it might be good if we start working on our relationship and just be happy?"

I paused for a moment and thought to myself that he's somehow right.

I just want to be happy.

IT was past six in the evening when I went home. Mingyu insisted on taking me home but I didn't want to bother him with his training so I pleaded him to just stay in the practice room. Everyone in the room was surprised when they saw me enter next to Mingyu. They didn't ask anything about Mingyu and me. We talked and did a catch-up. Oh, how I miss those boys.

Mingyu didn't move that close to me and I was so grateful for that. I don't want any one of them to bombard me questions about him and me. I just want to see those guys that I wasn't able to hang out with for weeks.

When the staff came in, I knew I had to leave. Mingyu told me to watch Seventeen TV at home and I promised him that I will.

I searched for my brother so we could go home but he wasn't there anymore.

I opened the gate of the house and saw my brother looking at an envelope.

"Hey, Sungjin." I greeted him.

He was taken aback when he saw me and immediately covered the envelope and the paper in it.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You shouldn't scare me like that, Soojin."

I wanted to ask about his day but he doesn't seem fine so I just continued to walk into my room. I changed clothes and opened my laptop. It's only a few hours before Seventeen tv.

I went down to eat some dinner.

I saw Sungjin busy working something in his laptop. I don't wanna disturb him 'cause he looked so focused with what's he's doing.

"Hey Soojin, I'll be out for the next few days. I don't when I'll be back but I promise I won't take it too long." He said without even looking at me.

I stopped eating my jjajangmyun and looked at him.

"Is there any problem, oppa?" I know I barely call him oppa. I call him by his first name and he's fine with that so when I call him oppa, I know something's serious.

"I just... have something to investigate about."

My curiousity grew bigger.

"What? I didn't know you're an investigator now." I joked. He didn't even laugh a bit.

"Listen, Soojin. I need you to cooperate with me on this. I promise I'll be back after a few days. Now I'm thinking how I would be assured you're safe here alone." He looks like he has planned this all.

"Well, if you want, I could go back and forth in Changwon so I could be with our parents." I suggested. I honestly don't want to be left alone here. Argh, where the hell is this man going?

"No! Don't go to Changwon. Don't even dare tell our parents that I'll be gone for a while."

I stood and put my hands on my waist.

"Now I'm really confused. You want me safe but you don't want me back in Changwon. Why don't you want our parents to know? Are you doing something illegal now, Sungjin? Is your job in Pledis not enough? What secret are you hiding from me?"

He put his hand on the side of his head and he looked really troubled. My expression softened.

"This is for your own good, Soojin. I want you to trust me on this."

WHEN school's done, Wonwoo and I went back to Pledis. We saw Mingyu in the entrance, his hands in his pocket.

"There you are."

Wonwoo eyed me suspiciously as Mingyu walked towards me.

"I'll leave you two be. I'm going inside."

Mingyu waved at him.

"What are you doing here outside?" I asked Mingyu. He was still in his high school uniform and so was I.

We went on the side of the streets.

"They might see us there so I thought I'd bring you here." Mingyu was looking at me.

"What is it?"

"Well, I..."

"You?"

"I... want to give you this." He handed me a small box.

My eyes instantly grew bigger when I thought of a ring because it looks like the box of the ring that I used to see in the dramas in tv.

Is he proposing already? What is this?! This is too early!

"Mingyu! What's this?" I asked him.

"Wait, Soojin, calm down. This isn't a proposal or anything. You can open it first." His tone was shy when he was asking me to open it.

I slowly opened the box and saw a ring in it.

"Are you really kidding me? This is a ring? You're really proposing?!" I can't help but to panic. This is too soon! I'm still young, he is too!

"No, I want you to keep that as a sign of our love for each other."

WAIT WHAT?

The giant, handsome and intelligent Kim Mingyu that I know is being so cheesy right now giving me this ring that's a sign of our love.

"I can't accept this." I told him and gave it back.

Mingyu's eyes immediately reflected pain after hearing my answer.

"But w-why?"

Because I don't want him to constantly give me presents I do not ask for. I want him - just him. I don't want any of the things he'll give me in the future. I want him to realize that I am contented with him and the things on the sides don't matter and won't matter.

I checked the ring and realized it was a pendant for a necklace. I smiled as I see and touch it.

I tipped my heels to stand taller and reached for his nape.

I made him wear the necklace.

"There you go, Mr. Kim. You're now wearing the symbol of our love. I do not ask you to wear that always but I'm asking you to keep that and give it back to me... when you're ready to get down on one knee and ask for my hand in marriage." I don't know why I was saying that but I didn't care.

I just want him to realize that I do not just see him as my first boyfriend but I really, really want him to be my husband too.

Mingyu smiled genuinely and hugged me.

"Saranghae."

IT took me several minutes to realize that I was in the office where my brother works in. Pledis Entertainment has a group of staff for each group. Obviously, the group that my brother handles is Seventeen - the most anticipated group from Pledis. I admit, this company isn't as big as other companies in Seoul but I have high hopes for Seventeen not just because they're my friends but because I know they'll be able to be successful one day.

I really can't wait for them to debut.

"Soojin, are you sure you're fine with this?" One unnie asked me.

I nodded with a smile.

"Of course. I can do this. I'll be fine."

I touched the mouse and continued what I was doing. Since my brother took a leave from Pledis. I take in charge of some of his works - just the easy tasks and the tasks that I know which involves mostly editing videos. I honestly want to shoot for the videos I want to put in Seventeen's official channel in Youtube but I don't have the guts to tell them that since they might think I'm still an amateur - which I really am.

It's already five in the afternoon. I went straight here from school. Wonwoo was with me but he's in the practice room now.

"Their last episode will soon be happening."

"I know. I don't really know when they're debuting but seeing the expression on CEO's face a while ago, I guess their debut isn't that soon."

I stopped with what I was doing when I heard two of the staff. I want to glance at them and to ask them about their meeting with the CEO but I don't wanna sound so nosy.

"What's their next plan for Seventeen, then?"

"I heard they'll be coming back for a second season."

I took a deep breath and tried to continue with my task.

WHEN it was nine pm, I went out of the office and went to the second floor.

I was surprised to see Wonwoo's dad in the hallway.

"Soojin Han," His father is so kind and approachable. I was able to be close with his family back when we were still both in Changwon.

"Annyeong hasseyo, Mr. Jeon. What are you doing here?" I asked them politely.

"Oh, they wanted me to be one of the guests for the Seventeen TV episode later."

I nodded.

"That's great. This one's a special episode. I just thought Wonwoo would tell me about this but he didn't." I said matter-of-factly.

Mr. Jeon laughed.

"Oh no, no, Soojin. My son doesn't even know I'm here. I'll surprise him later."

My face lit up.

"I'm looking forward to that!"

I chose to stay longer in Pledis. I'll be here until the airing of their final episode. I can't wait to see Wonwoo's face when he sees his father. I heard they also called other members' parents to come over. I wonder if Mingyu's parents will come, too?

Will they recognize me?

I was in the lobby monitoring the live episode of Seventeen TV. There's a flat screen tv here as well so yeah.

I was giggling as I see the boys. They're all wearing this camouflage-like clothes.

Mingyu looks so hot. I shook my head. What am I thinking? I'm not a ert!

Anyway, I was touched when I saw him wear the necklace. I really hope he keeps that.

Soon enough, Mr. Jeon, Wonwoo's dad, was already in the room. Wonwoo was pretty shocked and the other members too.

I leaned on the couch and realized how long my day was. I don't know how to tell Mingyu that I can't go home because I'm scared to be left alone.

I'll just wait for him here...

"Soojin,"

I felt a hand on my lightly pinching my cheek.

"Soojin,"

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Mingyu.

I fixed my hair and sat straight.

"Where are the others? What time is it?" Oh my, I slept on the couch without even knowing. My body was too tired for all the works I did.

"Soojin, why are you still here? I thought you'd go home after seven." He said and sat beside me. I can see no people around. I checked my watch and it's already one in the morning.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up but I had to." Mingyu continued.

"I know. I should be the one saying sorry. I didn't mean to sleep here. I want to go home but I can't."

Mingyu's expression didn't change.

"Sungjin hyung called me and asked me to stay in your house until tomorrow. Why didn't you tell me earlier that you're going to be alone in your house? If Sungjin didn't tell me, I don't know how I should know about it. I don't want to feel helpless when I find out that something bad happens to you."

I was holding tight on Mingyu's arms as we were riding on a cab on the way home. I can't believe Sungjin told Mingyu to stay at home with me. Sungjin trusts him that much.

"Thank you, Mingyu - for staying with me. I don't know what I would do without you. I just don't get why my brother's gone for now... He seemed bothered when I last talked to him. I don't want to be worried but I can't help it." I felt my tears running on my cheeks. Mingyu immediately wiped it.

"Hey, don't worry, I'll be here for you. I will never leave you."

I closed my eyes and held on his arms tighter.

At least, I know something in my life is on the right track. I just hope we'll stay like this and never change.

My feelings for him grows deeper and deeper that I feel like drowning.

(to be continued...)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The chapters for the 'past' will be until the 17th chapter. We'll go back to the 'present' time after that.