"Alright, since all of you are here, I'd like to introduce to you your newest manager, Soojin Han." All eyes were on me when the woman, who'm I don't know yet, announced it.

 

The members were all looking at me in surprise

 

"I'll do my best to do my job. Thank you for trusting me." I told them all.

 

Wonwoo is still beside me. He lowered his head to whisper something.

 

"I didn't know you're interested in managing a group now, Soojin." He gave me a genuine smile and I felt relieved that he isn't questioning why I was chosen to be one of their managers.

 

"Why her?" And then Mingyu's voice echoed in my ears. It was his first time to talk ever since he got inside this waiting room and all he could say is that "why her" question.

 

"What do you mean by that, Mingyu?" The woman said. She looked so serious now but her resting face is, I think, always has been serious.

 

I looked at Mingyu and he had this hint of smug on his face.

 

"She's just our age. What can she do? How did she even make it into the company? Do you know that her brother used to be a staff in Pledis but he was suddenly gone and never went back. How can we be so sure she won't do that same old trick?"

 

My eyes widened at his sudden questions. It's like he bombarded the staff with questions I did not even see coming.

 

"Excuse me, my brother filed a leave and eventually left the company through a formal resignation letter. Don't accuse him of doing something he never did." I answered back with confidence.

 

How dare he question the professionalism of my brother?!

 

"Oh, really?" Was all he could say.

 

He was eyeing me as if throwing daggers at me and I equaled that, too. I may have left him broken-hearted in the past but that doesn't justify him saying something untrue especially about my family.

 

The woman coughed.

 

"Mingyu, Soojin went through the same process as every applicants go through when they want to get in to Pledis. You need to respect our decision because we won't trust someone who isn't trustworthy to us in the first place. Plus, if you're questioning her age, well, yes, she's just the same age as some of you here but she also has a good work background."

 

Right. And I'm planning to get a degree in college to shove it to his face.

 

"Well, if that's the case, then goodluck to you, Ms. Han." Mingyu told me.

 

It doesn't feel right at all.

 

I am inside the room as Mingyu is. He's still keeping an eye on me and it makes me more and more uncomfortable.

 

I just ignored his last statement and sat beside Wonwoo. The other members seem to be quiet now as well. I guess they also feel the tension between me and Mingyu.

 

"What a nice comeback, Soojin. I'm so glad you're back." Wonwoo smiled at me.

 

I grabbed the book he was holding.

 

"Stop the formalities, Wonwoo. It's not as if I was gone for so long. I was only gone for three years." I chuckled and read the title of the book.

 

In my peripheral vision, I can sense Mingyu still peering at me.

 

Wonwoo smirked.

 

"Oh believe me, Soojin, many things happened in the past three years you were gone."

 

My curiousity grew when he said that.

 

Really? What happened in the past three years I was gone, then?

 

I want to ask Wonwoo so badly but I don't want to look like a gossip monger fishing for information I am not allowed to know. Did Mingyu have a girlfriend? Did he fall in love with someone else? What did he do for the past three years? I so wanna know but I know I can't ask anyone these kind of questions so I just shut my mouth.

 

I noticed Wonwoo being quiet again so I nudged him to talk more.

 

"That's Yoon Hyerim noona. She's one of the choreographers of the group. Hoshi helps with the choreography as well." He told me.

 

I raised a brow.

 

"Hoshi?"

 

Wonwoo chuckled.

 

"Yes, that's Soonyoung's stage name. Hoshi."

 

I nodded my head.

 

"I can't imagine myself calling him by that name. I think I'll just stick with Soonyoung. Who else have stage names in the group?"
Wonwoo looked at me in disbelief.

 

"Are you really one of the managers of Seventeen now? Why don't you know our stage names? You didn't do a background check before applying?" I felt embarassed because he proved a point there.

 

Well, I actually did a background research about the profiles of the Seventeen members but I totally forgot to pay attention to their stage names. I thought they'd all use their real names.

 

"Jihoon is Woozi, Seokmin is Dokyeom, Seungcheol is S.coups, Chan is Dino, Jisoo is Joshua, Junhui is Jun, Myungho is The8 and Hansol is Vernon. They all have weird stage names, I know." He commented.

 

"Good thing you didn't have to use another name when you debuted."

 

"I know. I actually want to change my name now." Wonwoo's eyes saddened after he said that.

 

"Huh? Why?"

 

He shook his head.

 

"Nothing."

 

I wanted to ask him but I think it's still about the controversy that he recently got into.

 

I thanked all the gods and goddesses when the floor person went to the room and informed them that it's their stage next. I sighed in relief when they all went out. I can't take Mingyu's judging eyes when he was still inside the waiting room. I know I've hurt him in the past but can't he be civil about it? Is he still affected? He hates me that much, huh.

 

Ms. Yoon Hyelim, the choreographer that introduced me to the group pat my back.

 

"You're doing good, Ms. Han." She smiled at me.

 

I was expecting her to say bad things since I did some intense conversation with Mingyu a while back but instead, I got a smile from her?

 

Weird.

 

"Ms. Yoon, I really hope Pledis debuts the girl group soon so I'll be transferring to that group and won't be with Seventeen for a long time. I'm sorry but I was kind of disappointed when I found out that I will be handling a boy group instead of a girl group." I can't believe I had the courage to tell her that.

 

"Don't worry, Ms. Han. You'll be managing them as soon as their plans of debut arise. For the meantime, continue to do your job as Seventeen's newest manager."

 

"Thank you." I beamed at her.

 

IT was almost an hour when Seventeen members came back in the waiting room.

 

They're all kind of sweaty. I see the staff giving the members tissue and wiping their sweats and I was kind of confused whether I should do what they're doing.

 

I grabbed a box of tissue and handed it to Soonyoung who looked like the one sweating the most.

 

"Thank you." He said.

 

One of the staff looked at my direction and said, "Remove your coat, now."

 

My cheeks flushed as I realized they were looking at Mingyu who is now in my back. He was wiping his own sweat. There goes his scary stare at me again. I ignored it but my eyes couldn't leave him especially when I noticed that kiss mark on his cheek. It's so obvious. God, why does he have that on his face?! Did he make out with someone?

 

But that's impossible. I mean, yeah, that's not totally impossible but he was out in the stage with the other members.

 

I think he noticed that I was looking at him so he raised his brow.

 

What the heck?

 

I wasn't expecting Mingyu to be this... unsociable. He used to be so friendly but he's so moody now.

 

He removed his white coat and I immediately walked away from him. I moved to Seungkwan's side. He's busy vocalizing again.

 

"Soojin," Someone grabbed my shoulders.

 

It's Hyerim unnie, the choreographer.

 

"Can you help the kids with their next outfits?" She pointed at a set of wardrobe.

 

"Hand those clothes to the members. It has a name attached to it so you won't get confused. The rest of the staff and I will be going out to have a short break. You'll have yours when we're back. Is that okay with you?"

 

Huh? They'll leave me alone with the boys? Only me?

 

"Sure, Ms. Yoon."

 

She smiled at me.

 

"You can call me Hyerim unnie."

 

SO, I was left with the boys and I started to give them their next outfits.

 

I gave Mingyu his and he quickly took it away from me. I just want to ignore him all day. I don't want to be in trouble just because he's giving me a hard time.

 

I looked away when I saw some of them removed their clothes.

 

Yes, being their staff means getting a lot close to them and even helping them wear their clothes but I am just not comfortable with a lot of guys around.

 

I just checked my phone. I saw one text from Jaejin and one from Sungjin.

 

Jaejin: Noona, how's your day? I just want to tell you that I'll be going out with my friends today.

 

Sungjin: Soojin, take care of yourself. I'll be going home one of these days.

 

I smiled. These guys are my only family now. I love them so much and I need to take care of them that's why I have to do good in my new job.

 

When I looked around, I saw the members ready with their outfits.

 

"Wow, you look cool with black." I complimented them.

 

I saw one member looking shyly at my direction.

 

"Myungho, right?" I asked him.

 

He nodded and smiled reluctantly.

 

"Don't be shy. I'm Soojin. You can call me noona if you like."

 

"Okay, noona." He's so cute. It's obvious that he's not Korean with his accent.

 

"I'm pretty sure you're close to Jun, eh?" Because duh, they're both Chinese. They can talk about anything without the others understanding it because it's in Mandarin or Cantonese.

 

"Uh, yes. He's a good hyung to me. When I first came in Korea, he helped me a lot to adapt." Myungho answered.

 

"I see."

 

"But Mingyu is also one of the closest member to me. He's such a kind friend." And by the time he said that, Mingyu was beside Myungho. He cooly put his arm around Myungho's shoulders.

 

"We better get ready." Mingyu told him without even glancing at me.

 

I just made face.

 

Soon after, the staff are back together with the stylists.

 

Now I see why Seventeen's waiting room is huge. They don't just have lots of members but lots of staff as well.

 

The members sat in front of the mirror and the stylists did their job to change their Yeppeuda styles into Eomjicheok style.

 

"Soojin, you can have your break now." Hyerim unnie said.

 

I nodded my head and quietly went out of the room. I don't know if there's a cafeteria here but as I walked, I saw a vending machine. This will do. I got one can of soda from the vending machine and just sat in one corner.

 

I can even see some idols walking the hallway. I'm not just as fanatic as I was before maybe because it's no longer my generation of kpop.

 

The idols that debut keep getting younger and younger and it makes me feel old, honestly. With Seventeen, only Wonwoo and the rest of the hyungs are older than me.

 

"Yes, I heard he issued an apology letter already."

 

"But still, what he commented are wrong, right? Especially that the girl group is now the most popular girl group in Kpop."

 

"I agree. Maybe that Seventeen member learns his lesson now."

 

I creased my forehead when I heard two girls, who look like they're from a girl group based on their outfits, gossiping about some issue I don't care.

 

I didn't really want to pay attention to it but I heard them mention Seventeen and so I got curious.

 

I can't ask them directly so I just searched for the issue on the web.

 

My heart sank when I saw Wonwoo's name on the headlines of the articles. It's a negative issue about him commenting inappropriate words to a famous girl group.

 

I spent all my break time reading and dreading the negative comments from the online community. Some are defending him but most of the comments are angry comments.

 

As I read his apology letter, I can't believe something like this happened to him. He's just starting in the business and then he's already involved in a negative issue like this?

 

Now this is the reason why I never wanted to be a public personality. I don't want to feel the cruelty of the people online that will forever hate me for doing nothing.

 

WHEN I got back, I saw the members all ready for their next stage. They have makeup now and some of their hairstyles are changed.

 

Mingyu has his hair up and damn, I almost forgot to breathe. I think he suits this hairstyle the best.

 

"Woah, Mingyu hyung and Soojin noona have matching outfits today!" The ever so talkative Seungkwan said.

 

I think I felt myself blushed. It's true.

 

He's wearing white long sleeve polo that looks just like mine. But I think if I wear that polo he's wearing, it'll look like a dress to me since he's just so tall.

 

A staff entered and said they'll be the next to perform. I can't believe I'll be seeing them up close and personal like this now.

 

I joined the team when they went to the stage. I was still in the backstage, though.

 

I remained sitting when Seventeen was already on the stage.

 

"Soojin, come on, let's look at their live performance." Hyerim unnie asked me to join her and I know I can't reject that.

 

We went on the audience area and looked up at the stage where Seventeen was already rehearsing. The music started and their facial expressions hardened. From the intro of the song, I know it's concept is something between serious and y.

 

I had the same feeling that I felt when I saw them perform for the first time last week. I can't believe they're all grown ups now. Something has definitely changed. They're living their dreams.

 

"Soojin, are you alright?" Hyerim unnie asked me.

 

"Of course, unnie. I'm so proud of them." I told her.

 

It's true. I'm so proud that despite of everything that's happened in the past, Mingyu still carried on with his life. I want to ask him what happened to him for three years that I was gone but I know I can't ask him that.

 

We are not the same Mingyu and Soojin that we used to be. His actions tell me he hates me.

 

I hate myself too, Mingyu. I hate myself too, for leaving you.