'Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away'

..................Now playing-Secrets by One Republic

12 months later...................

Ri Na's POV

It's been almost 12 months since he left.

All of a sudden,Park Chanyeol came into my life after 9 long years with all his love and care and affection and then...........................then in a blink of an eye-he left me on that night,I still don't know why.

I really don't know what did I do wrong.

I don't.

.

At first I thought no matter what,he'll return soon.At least he'll return to the country soon.But my assumption was proved completely wrong.

Yeol never returned.Not even for once ! It may sound impossible but it's the truth !

. 

I asked Kai again and again to check the immigration,and he did.He informed me that he never really visited South Korea even for once after that sudden departure.I heard even his parents are dying to see him for once,they sent countless messages to him-but he never responded to any of them.

As far as I know-he stayed in Spain or Germany for a while at first.Then he visited India or Nepal-I'm not sure, to climb Everest.But the authority didn't allow him to do so because of his bad fitness.

The Chanyeol whom I knew was't that unfit at all.So I wonder if his health deteriorated over the course of time.

I'm scared.

.. 

After that,his current location-I don't know about them.Even D.O and Baekhyun and Kai don't know too.Seems like he's hiding himself from everyone.

I don't know why!

But D.O confirmed me nothing bad really happened to him,since if something like that would happen-they'd at least know that.But they didn't.So he's safe

That's a relief.

.................

If you're going to ask about my life-well,nothing significant happened in the past few months.Except I lost my baby.

Yes,our baby.

That night,God blessed me with a junior Yeol,and unfortunately I wasn't aware of that.I wasn't aware at all until I had to visit hospital for stomach wash 4 months later that night.That time things were really messy for me and I still couldn't accept the fact that he left me with one simple letter only.

One evening this truth hurt me a bit too much that I took all the sleeping pills that I saved over the past few months in an attempt to finish all these pain.

My bad luck-Sehun came to home few minutes later and the next few hours-doctors did all those unimaginable things to save my life.

. 

I didn't know any of them until one of those doctors came to inform me 4 days later that while trying to save my life-they had to let go of my child.

If you're going to ask me how I felt-I felt numb.

Those past few months,I was practically not in my senses and actually forget to check even my period routine.I really didn't notice that I missed my period for 4 long months.

If only,if only I were a bit more sensible-I might not lose my baby.

............

I didn't know about my child before but the moment they informed me about that-my heart ached in a way I never felt before.I don't know what it was-either to have the very last gift of his for me or for the trace of him which might melt his heart leading to his sudden visit to me and my child one fine morning or ............. or the plain,simple motherly love it was,I don't know.

My heart ached.My body ached.Everything ached. 

And I needed him at that moment,badly. 

.................................But he wasn't there.

.

.

.

Instead his cousin decided to stay besides me.That Kai-my ex boyfriend for a brief period of time supported me all the way.

Thank you Kai.

..........

If you think Kai was the only person besides my family to stay besides me durng this hard time-no that'd be a lie.Se Ha was there constantly.

And so was D.O.

Over the last few months-D.O and I really grew closer.In fact he visits me every now and then...........................Sometimes more than Kai or Se Ha.

. 

The first few months I stayed at my own apartment,but later my family and friends decided not to keep me alone after my several suicidal attempts.So now,sadly I'm staying at my mom's apartment.

.

It's sad cause I think if he ever decides to visit me-he might not find me and then he'll return back.So now and then I try my best to visit my old home,though its hard since I'm practically cazed in my parent's home.

No one trusts me.

.

As for my career,I never returned to Kai and sent my resignation letter the next day.I honestly can't work when my muse isn't there.My CEO Kai didn't accept my resignation letter saying he doesn't hold the power to accept it.Instead, he just granted my leave for the time being.

It's funny how he ignored my resignation letter while accepted his own cousin's one in a minute.

Really funny,Kai you .

....................

My mom started cursing him every now and then the moment she came to know about my pregnancy.At first I'd protest each and every one of them with equally strong voice saying he'd return soon.

But nowadays,my voice is dying,when she starts the charade-I simply leave the room in silence.

I lost my voice,and I'm losing my confidence in him.Part