Right around the time Sun Jae turned seven months old, Sul came for a visit. She was in Seoul for a conference and I’d offered her to stay with us for the weekend. We hadn’t seen each other in a while; I sorely needed some catching up time. Ji Eun planned on staying one night with us, but tonight would just be me and Sul.

“Hi, sunshine.” She beamed at me with her gentle smile, light brown hair floating around her like an angelic cloud. Sul, my sweetest, secretly sassiest best friend.

I threw my arms around her in a tight hug.

“Aunt Sul!” Haru hopped up and down in excitement. “Aunt Sul, come see my room!” She grabbed Sul’s hand and dragged her to the entryway. “Wait, wait, don’t see. Don’t see!”

Sul dutifully covered her eyes while Haru scrambled around her room, picking up her favorite buddies and arranging them nicely on the bed.

“Okay, see! See me, Aunt Sul!” She posed in front of her bed with four buddies in her arms and a huge smile on her face. “Ta-da!”

“Oh, my! What a beautiful bedroom!”

Haru beamed proudly and then giggled, once more hopping up and down.

Sul and Sun Jae snuggled on the couch while I folded the laundry. A Disney princess show played in the background; Haru lay curled up on the ground next to Yukon and Maya, her thumb in and a blanket over her body. Hollis glared balefully down at us from the refrigerator. He was always in a bad mood when Jimin wasn’t around; we were alike that way.

“Sunshine, your kids are so cute. So much quieter than mine.”

I shook my head, laughing. “The television’s on and Sun Jae’s a baby. There’s no way my children are quieter than yours. It’s just a lucky moment.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Sul smiled down at Sun Jae, her eyes going soft, “this little baby is a sunshine baby. Looks just like you, down to the tiny little dimples in his cheeks.”

“Jimin jokes that he’s Namjoon’s baby because his dimples are so much deeper than mine and Jimin doesn’t have any super noticeable dimples.”

“Think Ji Eun would murder you.” Sul commented with a small grin.

A key turned in the lock of the front door and Jimin stepped in, followed by Yoongi and Hoseok. Cheeks red with cold, his face lit up with a smile as Haru leaped from her spot on the floor and threw herself into his arms.

“Daddy! Daddy, Daddy, I missed you!” She dotted his face with kisses.

“I missed you too, daffodil! Did you take care of Sun Jae and Mama for me?” Jimin picked her up and twirled her around in his arms.

Sun Jae let out a loud sound from his place in Sul’s arms, eyes following Jimin. Haru was passed off to Hoseok, and Jimin crouched down in front of Su, eyes shining with warmth.

“How’s my little baby boy today?” He whispered into Sun Jae’s soft hair. “Did you miss me? I missed you.”

Sul blushed slightly as Jimin moved closer and kissed Sun Jae’s smiling face.

“Chim, personal space.” I poked him in the side. He jumped, laughing. Jimin’s sides were very ticklish.

He leaned back on the heels of his foot and looked charmingly at Sul.

“Hi, Sul.” He said with a waggle of his fingers. “Nice to see you.”

Sul’s blush darkened and she ducked her head down, mumbling out a “hi.”

Jimin cocked his head to the side, studying her. “Did you get prettier since I’ve last seen you? Your hair, it’s curly now.”

“We all know how Jimin loves curly hair.” Yoongi said with a sigh and a roll of his eyes.

“Yeah…I got a perm.” Sul glanced at me. I grinned back at her.

Jimin stood and flung himself on the couch next to me, his big feet swinging up into the air before landing on my lap. His lips were at my ear, my jaw, my neck, kissing all over.

“Hey, baby. Missed you.” His fingers curled into my hair and he pulled me in for a long, slow kiss.

Hoseok cleared his throat. “We’re still here, you know.”

I broke away, but Jimin let out an impatient hum and caught my lips with his. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I felt myself melting under his touch.

“I can’t with these two.” Yoongi sounded disgusted. “They’re so volatile. Like hormonal high schoolers. You have two kids!” He shouted at us. “Have some dignity, for Christ’s sake.”

Jimin pulled back with a laugh, affectionately swiping the pad of his thumb across my cheek. “Dignity is impossible when you’re in love.”

“Bleh.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “Don’t say this corny in front of our guests.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Sul piped up. “Daniel never says these kinds of things.”

“Most people don’t say these kinds of things.” Hoseok replied.

I turned to the peanut gallery in the back. “Why are you two here?”

“Jimin’s performing at a café tonight. We’re accompanying him.”

“Not me!” Hoseok said, “I’m babysitting.”

“Oh? Am I attending?” I glanced at Jimin.

He shrugged. “You don’t have to. But I figured you and Sul would maybe want a night to yourselves to catch up.”

“Jin will be there.” Yoongi quietly reminded him.

“Right. He’s playing the guitar.”

Jimin took my chin in his hand and turned my face to his. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“How about you,” I pressed my nose against his, smiling when he smiled, “come home later and sing for me?”

Jimin quickly kissed me. “Okay, babe.”

“Or! You could just stay and serenade me the whole night.”

“Um, I’m sleeping here.” Sul tapped me on the shoulder. “I’m not about to listen to Jimin serenading you.”

Jimin wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me so tightly that I started to cough.

“Have fun tonight, love. Wait up for me?”

I kissed him and he left with Yoongi.

Sul and I decided to go out to dinner. She didn’t come to Seoul much and wanted to eat at a place G-Dragon was known to frequent. He wasn’t there (of course) but the food was possibly the most delicious I’d eaten. I made a mental note to bring Jimin there one day.

“So what’s up with you and Jin that you can’t see him?”

I shook my head and released a long-suffering sigh. “Oh, Sul. There’s so much I haven’t told you.”

She leaned in, eager to hear more.

I began hesitantly. “Have you…have you ever had a crush on somebody? While being married to Daniel?”

Sul visibly deflated and slouched back down into her seat, throwing her napkin onto her plate in a flash of irritation. “Oh, is that all? You’ve got a crush on Jin? I thought it was going to be something juicy.”

“No…” I paused and pursed my lips. How to say it? “You know how Jin was in love with me?”

“Vaguely. You didn’t tell me much about it.”

“Well, apparently he’s been in love with me since around the time I started dating Jimin. Anyway, he confessed to me and things have been ed up ever since.” I sighed and tousled my hair. “I kind of…fell in love with him?”

Sul nodded knowingly. She speared a forkful of salad and chewed it thoughtfully before answering. “Yeah. I went through the same thing with Daniel.”

“Seriously? I thought I was alone in this.”

Sul leaned back in her chair and brushed a few crumbs off of her lap. “It’s not uncommon for married couples to catch feelings for other people.”

“So…who caught feelings? You or Daniel?”

“Uh, Daniel did.” She looked down and toyed with her wedding ring, swallowing hard. “For our nanny. So cliché, right?”

“Sul, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“She was pretty, she loved our children. I was never home. They caught feelings right under my nose.”

Sul took a half-hearted bite out of a tomato. “They didn’t, like, sleep together or anything, but I’d see them exchange giddy smiles whenever the kids did something particularly cute. You know, you invite someone into your home and put them in charge of your kids, and they just…they take over your life.”

She sighed and crumpled the corner of her napkin. “Anyway. He told me before I found out. I had my suspicions, but still. I was hurt, very hurt. But Daniel and I have been together for a very long time. And you have to work on things in marriage, and we didn’t. We didn’t take the time to kiss each other good morning, or eat dinner together, or even talk about anything besides the kids.”

“But things are better now?” I interjected quietly.

“Yeah.” Sul nodded with a tiny smile. “We had to fire the nanny, obviously. Which , because she was the best nanny that we ever had. But I couldn’t stand Daniel looking at her like that. I mean, we hadn’t been the way we used to be since toddlers took over our lives, but still, I never expected…I never thought he could fall in love with someone else.”

She sighed and pushed away the rest of her salad. “I’m sorry. We’re good now. In a way, I think it was something that we needed. Well, no, I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted him to fall in love with somebody else. But we did need to focus more on ourselves. On our marriage, on being in love with each other. Maybe that’s what you and Jimin need, too.”

“Maybe.” I allowed. “I’m the one in the wrong in my situation, Sul. I’m the one exchanging looks across the kids with somebody else. And not even someone we can fire. Jimin’s group member, his best friend. And, like, practically a member of our extended family.”

“Yeah, you ed up, sunshine.”

“Yeah.” I paused. “Jin’s girlfriend’s pregnant. And they’re engaged.”

“Damn.” Sul took a sip of water. “How do you feel?”

I shrugged. “I feel…odd. Like a chapter in my life is closing. I wish he could be happy.”

“He could only be happy if he were with you, sunshine. The kind of happiness you’re talking about, anyway.”

Sul tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No.”

“Did you want to?”

“Yeah.” I admitted quietly.

“Don’t you and Jimin have great , though? I’ve always gotten that impression.”

“Yup.” I agreed. “When we’re having . We weren’t, this past year. Anyway, it’s all in the past now.”

“Is it all in the past for Jimin?”

“Um, I think so. We’re working on it. We are a lot happier now. He seems a lot happier.” I chewed on my lower lip.

“He certainly was all over you in the apartment earlier.”

“Oh, you know. He likes to show off.”

Sul looked levelly at me from across the table. “Sunshine, I know that you and Jimin have been through some things, but that man loves you. You are lucky that he still wants to be with you after you fell in love with his best friend.”

“Yes.” I agreed.

“And Jimin’s a babe. I know Jin is, too, but why would you cheat on Jimin? He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. And the way he dotes on your children? Amazing.” Sul twirled her straw around in her glass. “You’re lucky, sunshine. Very lucky.”

“I know.”

“Jimin doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.”

I reached out across the table and took her hand. “Sul, you didn’t deserve to be cheated on. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

She ducked her head, then nodded once. “Thank you. Don’t do the same to Jimin, hmm? I see the love in your eyes. Don’t let it fade.”

“I won’t.”

She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes as I dropped my head into my hands and let out a long sigh.

“I love him so much, Sul. I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

“Then don’t.”

On the way home, we stopped by the café to catch the last of Jimin’s performance. Jin glanced up when we walked in the door. He looked soft and scholarly in a turtleneck and oversized round glasses. I gave him a perfunctory smile and turned my attention to my husband.

“Well, speak of the devil and she shall appear.” He said into the mic, grinning at me. “Baby, I was just telling this lovely audience here about that time we were in New York City and you told me you were going to show me around Brooklyn, acting all cool and knowledgeable, but then we got stuck underground waiting for the subway for an hour. And then we got on the wrong train and ended up in Coney Island.”

I tsked and shook my head. “We still had fun!”

“Anyway,” Jimin strummed a few chords on his guitar, “my wife is horrible with directions. She can live in a neighborhood for a year and still not know which way to go to get to places. When we first moved to Hongdae, people mistook her for a tourist because she always had a navigational app open on her phone and would stand on street corners, looking puzzled and squinting at the signs.”

He sent a mischievous smile my way. “I wrote this song about her after she got us lost at three in the morning in Hongdae. This was before we lived there, and we didn’t really know our way around. My wife still doesn’t, to be honest. Anyway, we went to go see a group we both like. Anyone here ever heard of The Koxx?”

A few cheers went up. Sul and I found a table tucked away in the corner. Jimin’s eyes tracked our movements.

“So, we’re both a little drunk, me more than her, and she decides that she’s going to lead the way home. I’m like, ‘Baby, no. You’re the worst at this. We’re gonna die. Someone is gonna steal my Timberlands off of my feet.’ She told me to go somewhere that I can’t repeat in front of people under nineteen, and then proceeded to lead us down several abandoned alleys.”

Jimin giggled, fingers sliding down his guitar strings to pick out a melody. “Do you remember what happened next, babe?”

“Yeah, you vomited all over your Timberlands and started crying.” I shook my head, laughing. “And then you sat in a puddle and refused to move. Ah, you’re really such a handful when you’re drunk.”

“Yeah.” He let out a rueful sigh. Some of the audience members laughed, but most clucked in sympathy. “It was not my finest night.

“I eventually got us home, though. After you stopped being such a drama queen.”

“We were two streets from home when I had my mental breakdown, but you led us in the opposite direction for an hour!” Jimin reminded me, indignantly tapping the side of his guitar.

“Just! Sing your song and stop making fun of me!” I cried, slamming my hands on the table.

Several people tittered and Jimin cracked a very sneaky smile.

“I wrote this song for you, baby. Don’t get mad.”

Jimin adjusted the mic and started his song, a sweet, catchy melody.

“Oh, my love, don’t you worry. Take my hand, we’re in no hurry. We’re lost, but not alone. Oh no, not alone.”

He smiled at me, still strumming his guitar.

“Baby, baby, don’t you know? I’ll always be there when you’re lost. Callin’ me on the phone at 2 am, saying you don’t know the way. We’ll figure it out together.”

I smiled back at him, feeling my dimples deepen.

“Wanna get lost in the sheets with you, but you’re always gettin’ me lost in the streets. Wanna call an Uber, wanna kiss you in the back seat. You just call me dumb and kiss me in a back street.”

I blushed as the audience tittered. Jimin winked at me.

“I know Hongdae by the alleys we’ve kissed in, Brooklyn by the subway stops you fell asleep on my shoulder. L.A. is the wrong turns we made into traffic and the curses that came out of your mouth.”

“And Jay Park!” I shouted. Jimin stuck his tongue out.

“Baby, baby, don’t you know? I’ll always be there when you’re lost. Callin’ me on the phone at 2 am, saying you don’t know the way. We’ll figure it out together, ohh, figure it out together.”

“Take my hand, we’re in no hurry. We’re lost, but not alone. No, I’ll never leave you alone.”

The smile stretched wide across my face. I ducked my head in an effort to hide it, but Jimin’s audience pointed at me and took pictures and videos of the two of us.

“Remember when we were lost in Italy? We wandered around the quaint roads hand in hand, springtime blossoms in your hair. You laced your fingers through mine and pulled me into that church, the one we could never find again even when we tried. We were lost, but not afraid. Far away from home, but darling, that day, I found my home in you.”

“Oh, my love, don’t you worry. Take my hand, we’re in no hurry. We’re lost, but not alone.”

Jimin hummed the melody, eyes fluttering closed in the prettiest way.

“Busan is the place you know like the back of your hand. It’s the way our pinkies linked for the first time, the midnight picnics on the beach, the way your curls blew back in the ocean breeze. Busan is long kisses on the porch of the little white cottage, the shots you poured down my throat at the party in front of all your friends. It’s truth or dare, and messy hair. It’s kisses in the broom closet, washing dishes at my parents’ restaurant. It’s my childhood sheets, and Namjoon’s first true love.”

A slight murmur rippled through the crowd, but Jimin ignored it, instead focusing his attention on me. I didn’t blink under his unwavering gaze. Those beautiful brown eyes brimmed with warmth.

“Busan is the place I found you, and the place I got lost in you. Take my hand, I’m in no hurry. Walk with me, let me see those pretty eyes. All these cities, but home is always by your side.”

He played the ending chords and the audience clapped, but Jimin only had eyes for me.

I tried and failed to keep the joy out of my face. Everything in me spilled over with love.

Jimin was shy later, when we were snuggled up under the covers, both children fast asleep and Sul comfortable on a futon in our living room. Hollis, one of the cats, slept curled up at Jimin’s feet. Maya slept on the floor, spooning with Yukon.

“Did you like it?” He asked, lips soft against my neck.

I nodded and reached down to take one of his hands, which were loosely holding my waist. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I adored it.”

“I wrote it for you.”

“No ?” I burst into giggles. Jimin shushed me, laughing himself.

“I’ll record it for you, so you can listen to it while I’m away on tour.”

I turned in his hold and rested my head against his collarbones, softly kissing his exposed skin.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispered.

“I’ll miss you more.”

“Mm-mm. I’ll miss you the most.”

We were quiet for a moment. Jimin touched his forehead to mine and breathed in deeply.

“You smell bad.” He said eventually. “Why didn’t you wash up before coming to bed?”

“I did!”

“You should change deodorants. I know you’re worried about the potential link between aluminum and Alzheimer’s, but your natural deodorant is not working for you.”

“Don’t you want me to remember our life when I get old?”

Jimin hummed and buried his face into my neck. “Yeah. Of course I do. But if you forget, I’ll just be your memory. I remember everything.”

“I wish you’d forget some things.” I commented wryly. “Wish we both would.”

“Tell me you love me.” He whispered, moving slightly to gaze up at me with those lovely brown eyes.

I ran my fingers through his hair, pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

“Tell me I’m the only one you love.”

“You’re the only one I love.” I said truthfully, nuzzling my nose against his cheek.

Jimin turned his head and kissed me. “Tell me…you’ll never leave me.”

“I’ll never leave you.” I promised. “I love you.”

“Even if I do stupid things like leave an empty toilet paper roll on the hook in the bathroom and forget to replace it?”

“Hell no! I’m leaving you for that.”

“Baby!”

“Just kidding. I won’t leave you for that.”

Jimin placed his hands on the small of my back and pulled me close to him. “Kiss me?”

“Mmhmm.”

He sang the song to me, very quietly, as I drifted off to sleep. The last thing I remember is Jimin’s hand in mine and his whisper on my skin, telling me I was his home.