JIMIN’S POV

I came home from work a few days later and walked into our bedroom to find my wife sitting cross legged on the floor, weeping. Although I was a little surprised, I remembered that she had taken the day off because she wasn’t feeling well. She had a photo album clutched to her chest as if she were holding onto it for support. Yukon had his little paws up on her knee, whining pitifully.

“Honey? What’s wrong?” I entered quietly and made my way over to her. She shook her head and continued sobbing. I sat down cross legged across from her. Yukon jumped up into my lap.

“What’s wrong, love?” I tried again, voice low and gentle. “Why are you crying?”

“I miss you.” She choked out. Her curls fell in tendrils around her face as she ducked her head down to hide from me.

“I’m right here, angel.” I stretched out a hand and swiped away a tear from her cheek. “Why you crying, baby?”

“I miss us, Jimin.” She set down the photo album on her lap and it opened up to a well-worn page. I caught a glimpse of a familiar photograph: her blowing out the candles on her twenty-third birthday cake. I had my arms around her and both of us were smiling.

I took her hand, holding her fingers in mine. “Baby…I’m right here. We’re still us.”

She shook her head and burst into fresh tears. I took the photo album from her, running my fingers over the old leather cover. What had made her drag this out from under our bed?

My wife cuddled with Yukon as I opened the album and looked through the pictures we’d placed there, years ago.

There was one from our first date that my mother had secretly taken. We were standing outside of my parents’ restaurant. She was playing with the petals of the rose I’d just given to her and I was staring, my mouth hanging slightly open.

Another one was her wrapped up in my jacket, the two of us standing outside the gate of the little white cottage. Ji Eun had taken it with her cell phone from the window as she spied on us. It wasn’t a good quality photo, but she was blushing and we were kissing.

I skipped a couple of pages until I came to one of my favorite photos. She had Yukon in her hands, back when he was just a little tiny thing. The biggest smile lit up her face; her skin was a deep, burnished tan and the freckles were prominent on her nose. Her brown curls hung in her face and cascaded down around her shoulders. She was wearing her favorite J. Cole tank top; she’d practically lived in it that summer.

It was the first picture she’d ever had with Yukon. After I’d taken it, she’d showered me in a million kisses and hugs.

There were more pictures of her and her friends. Sul, Ji Eun, and Daniel had been our constant companions that summer. I’d spent more time with her friends than my own.

My favorite pictures were the ones of the two of us. I’d constantly pestered her to take pictures with me, and she’d always grudgingly conceded. I had ones of us at the beach, at picnics, in my parents’ restaurant.

The best ones were the ones of us in bed, underneath the sheets, sleepy-eyed and smiling up at the camera.

“I miss us.” She whispered again, chin quivering. “I miss being in love like that, Jimin.”

I took a shaky breath and looked up at her, my mouth quirked into an uncertain little line.

“You falling out of love with me, baby?”

She shook her head, curls bouncing around her face. Yukon jumped into her lap and her tears away. She patted his head and looked up to meet my eyes.

“I just don’t like growing up.” She said in a small voice.

“You’re already grown up.” I pointed out.

“I don’t like it.” She sniffled as she brushed away a tear or two. “I miss you. I miss walking around the apartment wearing just your shirt. I miss those competitions we used to do, you remember?”

I nodded and twined our fingers together.

“I miss staying up really, really late just watching movies and eating snacks. I miss making spontaneous plans with our friends. I miss my friends, Jimin. I miss Sul and Daniel so bad. And Ji Eun, she’s been so busy lately. I don’t even know what’s going on in her life.”

She set Yukon down on the ground and climbed into my lap, dropping her head against my shoulder. My sweater was soon wet with her tears and snot.

“I miss Busan. I miss the ocean and your dad’s cooking and the way your mom pinches my cheeks. I miss that little bookshop you used to always take me to. I miss…it sounds so stupid and shallow, but I miss partying and getting drunk and trying to seduce your stubborn self.”

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “Are you unhappy?”

“I’m pregnant.” She answered cryptically.

“Does that make you unhappy?” My eyebrows rose in surprise. I thought she’d wanted this baby.

“Yeah, all the hormones are messing with me. This is the third time I’ve cried this week. My back hurts and my feet hurt and my s are too big for all of my bras.”

“Why are you feeling so nostalgic today?” I twined a hand in her hair, rubbing a soft curl with my thumb.

“Are we happy, Jimin?” My wife leaned back and looked me in the eye. She seemed thoroughly miserable.

I wet my lips with my tongue, suddenly nervous. “I thought we were. I’m happy.”

“Are you?” She laid a hand on my cheek and spread her fingers, holding me. “I feel like you’re not. I feel like you’re walking on eggshells around me.”

“I love you.” I said, my voice cracking. God, I had not expected to have this conversation when I walked in the front door. “You know I love you.”

“Yeah, but are you happy?” She asked insistently. “Are you afraid I’m going to leave you?”

I bit my lip and cast my eyes down. “Do we really need to get into this again? I thought we’d moved on.”

She pulled away from me and I let her slip from my grasp. I watched her walk away from me and climb into bed, Yukon following her every step.

My head suddenly pounded; I didn’t want to come home to this.

“I’m gonna take a nap.” She mumbled. I hummed in response as she pulled the blanket over her head.

She waited until I had shut the bedroom door behind her to start crying again, quiet little muffled sobs into her pillow. I went and sat on the couch, my head in my hands.

Our marriage had been volatile lately. One day we were kissing and giggling and happy, the next one of us was upset and angry. While I knew deep down that we couldn’t possibly just bounce back from the brink of divorce, I wished we could. I wished my wife would stop crying so much and I wished we had more time to spend with Haru and I wished that everything was back to the way it was before Christmas. When we had been a cozy and snug little family, happily expecting another member.

Part of me wished we still existed inside that perfect summer in Busan.