Jimin came back about three hours later. My parents still hadn’t arrived home yet, and I had started to wonder what they were doing.

He opened the door to my bedroom and threw his suitcase onto the bed, where I was laying down. I watched him as he ped it and pulled out clean clothes.

“Where did you go?” I asked.

“The woods.” He replied shortly. “I’m taking a shower to check for ticks.”

“I can check you.” I offered. He raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head.

Jimin took the change of clothes and a towel with him to the bathroom. I guessed since we were fighting, I wasn’t allowed to see him anymore. It made sense, but he only changed in the bathroom when we were in a serious fight.

Which, I suppose, we were.

I fell asleep waiting for him to come out.

Someone was my hair when I woke up. I stirred, and the hand stopped. The mattress dipped and I opened my eyes to see Jimin disappearing from the room.

He came back a couple of minutes later with a tray full of food and a cup of tea.

“Hey.” I said softly, my voice still thick with sleep.

“Hey.” Jimin replied, setting the tray down next to me. “You slept through dinner. Your mom saved some for you.”

“Thanks.”

He perched on the edge of the bed while I ate. I spooned some rice into my soup and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. Jimin looked pensive and I wondered why.

“You’re very pigheaded, you know that?” He said suddenly.

I took another bite before answering. “I could say the same for you.”

He shook his head. “I just can’t figure you out. Why are you all of a sudden asking me for a separation? We haven’t been fighting. It’s not like we have passive aggressive little titches all the time. It’s not like we’re one of those couples that fights in front of their friends all the time and makes them feel uncomfortable.”

“Yes, we are.” I corrected him. “Jimin, we’re like the poster couple for doing that. We fight in front of our friends all the time and drag them into our disagreements so they know almost every single intimate little detail.”

Jimin just looked at me.

“Pigheaded.” He repeated. “And stubborn.”

“They’re the same thing.” I bit into a loaf of bread.

“I’m furious with you.” Jimin stated abruptly.

“Okay.” I gingerly picked the teacup off of the tray and blew on it to cool it down.

“And I still don’t believe that you’re not in love with Jin.”

“I’m not in love with Jin.” I said calmly. “I am in love with you.”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” He snapped. “God, can’t you just relent for once? Compromise? Is that word in your emotional vocabulary?”

“I just want what’s best for us.”

“And you get to decide that on your own?” Jimin raised his voice. “You get to decide that us not being married is what’s best for us. Honestly, you.”

“Are my parents home?” I asked, casting a glance at the door. I didn’t want them to hear us fighting.

“No.” He said shortly. “They went out with Haru.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again.”

There was a long pause. Then, Jimin leaned over and patted my belly.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Tired.” I murmured. “I wanna go back to sleep.”

“Go ahead.” He reached out to take my tray. “Are you done eating?”

“Yeah. Thanks for the food.” I closed my eyes and soon felt myself drifting off to sleep.

“You stubborn little .” Jimin breathed, kissing me on my forehead.

“Don’t kiss me.” I mumbled, half-asleep. “No kisses.”

“Okay.” Jimin whispered sadly. “No kisses.”

Jimin drove us home the next day. My parents wanted us to meet with the divorce lawyer, but Jimin adamantly refused. We fought about the way he spoke to my parents (downright rude and aggressive) and how he’d done it in front of Haru. She’d just stood there with her thumb in and her arm wrapped around her old puppy dog, Floppy.

Jimin and I didn’t talk the whole way home.

Actually, we didn’t talk for the rest of the day. We talked to Haru and through Haru, which I absolutely hated, but Jimin wouldn’t talk to me. He wouldn’t even look at me.

I hated that, too, but a part of me thought maybe it was for the best.

Another part of me felt like it was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me, and led to me burrowing in the bedroom blasting Kehlani and crying.

Jimin came into the bedroom once to hand me a plate full of chicken and rice. He took one look at my tear-stained, snot-streaked face and threw me a pack of tissues before gathering up his comforter and his pillows and leaving me alone again.

I heard him put Haru to bed. Yukon wasn’t home; Jimin had left him with Taehyung when he decided to follow me to my parents’.

I left my room in the middle of the night to get a glass of water in the kitchen and found Jimin sleeping on the couch in the living room. Our pretty, sunshiney new living room. I glanced over at the window seat where Jimin and I had decided to live here. Where we’d kissed and giggled and dreamed about our life here with our new baby.

Somehow, I hadn’t planned on it turning out quite like this.            

I patted my belly. “Sun Jae, I had hoped you would come into a happier little family than this.”

“Well, that’s your own damn fault.” Jimin croaked, sitting up on the couch and scaring the out of me.

“Holy , Jimin! I thought you were asleep!”

“I was, until you came lumbering in here like an elephant.” He said grumpily, running a hand over his face. His hair was rumpled and his t-shirt hung off of his shoulder.

I flushed. “I’m pregnant. I can’t help it.”

He yawned and stretched. I felt a pang at the cuteness level of sleepy Jimin. It’d always been my weakness.

“Have we ever fought like this before?” I caught his yawn, and my question came out jumbled.

Jimin fixed me with a contemptuous look. “No.”

I hummed and took a sip of my water. I was exhausted by the day’s crying.

“Are you enjoying our separation?” Jimin asked sarcastically. “Having a fun time being estranged from me?”

“Yeah, it’s a ing blast.” I snapped. “Can’t wait to be estranged from you forever.”

Hurt flashed across Jimin’s face. I immediately regretted my words.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I said in a small voice. “Jimin, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Ah…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think you did. That’s why we’re doing this, isn’t it? It’s just a precursor to divorce. I’m the only one foolishly hoping that you’ll change your mind after Sun Jae is born.”

“It’s not that!” I cried, waving around my water glass in frustration. “Jimin, I wanted us to be able to talk without brushing everything under the rug! Without just making up for a few days, or weeks, or months. Have we even gone months without a huge fight? I feel like this pregnancy has just been one big fight and I hate it.”

Jimin regarded me tiredly. “You know, if I can’t touch you, like even put my arm around you, we’re just going to continue fighting. We’re not going to build our relationship at all.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because!” Jimin cried, his voice strained. “Because, it’s killing me inside to watch you cry yourself sick and you won’t let me brush your hair out of your face, or wipe your tears, or just give you a little pat on the shoulder. You won’t let me touch you. I don’t know how to show you I love you if I can’t touch you. I don’t know…I don’t know what to do. How to comfort you, reassure you.”

“Jimin, you can’t just cuddle the problem away this time.” I said softly. I hated putting him through this, but I couldn’t think of a better way. “If you can’t talk to me, how are we going to make this marriage work?”

“It’s not that I can’t talk to you.” He leaned back against the couch cushions and tugged at the collar of his shirt. “I just feel like something important is missing. Something essential.”

“I can’t let you touch me.” I whispered. “Jimin, I can’t just let it go this time.”

His eyes flicked to mine. “You’re afraid to forgive me?”

“No…not exactly.” I paused to think. “I’m afraid it’s going to happen again and I won’t want to try to make it work with you. I’m at the end of my rope, Jimin. I know we’ve both ed up, but you cannot leave me again. I don’t think I could take you back one more time.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows. “This is taking me back? Threatening divorce and imposing a separation I didn’t agree to?”

I sipped my water. “Well, we’re not divorced, are we?”

Jimin looked at me, his mouth twitching. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but it kind of looked like he wanted to smile. However, the moment passed and he sighed.

“You should get some rest. We’re going to the doctor tomorrow.”

“Why?” I asked in some surprise. “I don’t have an appointment.”

“I made one for you. I’m worried about your blood pressure.” He gave me a once-over. “And you haven’t been eating that much. I’m sure this amount of stress isn’t good for the baby.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He flopped back onto the couch and covered himself with the blanket. “Perhaps we could also look at twin beds, so I could have an actual bed to sleep in.”

“The twin bed will be mine.”

Jimin shifted on the couch so he faced me. “No. Twin bed’s mine. Sun Jae can sleep in our…your room, I suppose. The bassinette was going to go in there, anyway.”

“Jimin, come on. This was my idea, I’m the one who should get the twin bed.”

“No.” He said firmly. “Don’t think for a second I’m letting my wife sleep in a twin bed while I’m in a king size.”

I shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“If I suited myself, we would be sleeping together.”

I walked away and waddled back to the bedroom. I could feel Jimin’s eyes on me as I pushed open the door. It shut behind me with a snap and I curled up in the sheets again, thinking that if I suited myself, Jimin would be there tangled up with me.

“Your blood pressure is alarmingly high.” Dr. Seo stated as she slipped the cuff off of my arm. “Have you been eating a lot of salt?”

“We’re fighting.” Jimin said bluntly. I winced at his words and Dr. Seo’s incredulous expression. “We’re both a little high-strung all the time.”

“Ah. I see.” She nodded professionally. “I’m recommending a C-section delivery. We still have some time, but realistically, this baby could come at any time and I need you to be prepared.”

“No.” I said immediately. “I’ll get it under control. I’ll meditate or something. I don’t want a C-section.”

“I hardly think an afternoon or two of meditation will significantly lower your blood pressure.” Dr. Seo regarded me skeptically over her glasses.

Jimin rested a hand on my shoulder and leaned down so we were face-to-face. “Hey, hey, look at me. It’s going to be okay, alright? You’re going to be fine. Sun Jae is going to be fine. We made it this far, right? We’ll be just fine.”

I wondered fleetingly if he was talking about our marriage as well as the birth of our baby.

“Seriously, can’t I just do some deep breathing exercises or something? Yoga, maybe?”

“You’re on bedrest.” Dr. Seo said severely. “Now is hardly the time to be thinking about exercise. In fact, I’m recommending that you stay in the hospital until you give birth, so we can monitor your condition.”

I looked anxiously at Jimin. He squeezed my shoulder.

“Is it really that serious?” He asked the doctor in a quiet voice. “Should we be worried?”

She glanced hesitantly at me. “Worried is not the word I would use, Mr. Park. Perhaps concerned is a better term. You should be concerned.”

“.” I whispered, tears spilling out of my eyes. “I ed it up, Jimin, I’m ing up big time.”

“No, no.” He smoothed my hair back. “No, baby, you’re doing great. You’re being so brave.” He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes. “Can we have a moment to decide, please?” He asked Dr. Seo. She nodded and slipped out of the room.

“I think you should stay.” He said immediately. “I think we should play it safe.”

“Will our insurance cover it?” I gnawed worriedly at my bottom lip. “Jimin, I don’t want to waste our money.”

“Your health is not a waste of money.” Jimin patted my head. “Listen, I’ll stay with you, if you want me to. We’ll get you set up with a bed and my parents are in our old apartment already, so they can take Haru. I’ll be here with you. If you want me.”

“What about your album?” I looked up into his eyes, half-afraid to hear his answer.

“You are so much more important to me.” He breathed, wistfully my face.

“Don’t stay.” I sniffled suddenly. “Don’t stay if you’re just gonna say pretty things and then leave.”

“I’m not going to leave.” Jimin promised, holding my hand tightly. “I’m not going to leave.”