JIMIN’S POV

“Isn’t he delicious?” I murmured, snuggled up tight next to my wife on the hospital bed. Our beautiful new baby boy lay in her arms, fast asleep. “Isn’t he just so gorgeous?”

“Yeah.” She whispered, her eyes locked on him. “He’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect.” I kissed her sweaty hair and pushed her bangs back from her forehead. “God, you’re just perfect.”

She looked up at me with flushed cheeks and glistening eyes. “I’m so glad you were here for it.”

“Me too.” I leaned down and kissed my son’s soft little head. He was red and wrinkly and so, so tiny. “Let me hold him.”

My wife gingerly passed our baby to me. I cradled him in my arms, enamored with his sleeping face.

“Are you counting his fingers and toes again?” She laughed, running her finger along the underside of his foot.

“Just want to make sure he has them all.” I replied, kissing his little nose. “Jeez, he’s beautiful. So perfect.”

“I appreciate your manly ability to say exactly what you feel at any time.” She kissed Sun Jae’s toes. “Always so fervent in your adoration. Probably if you’d lived in England in the Romantic period, you’d be a poet. Friends with Lord Byron or someone.”

“Are you delusional? Go to sleep.” I playfully flicked her forehead. “You did great, babe. Take a nap until this little booger needs to be fed.”

“My son’s not a booger.” She murmured, already nuzzling her face into the pillow.

“You’re a booger.” I rubbed my nose along Sun Jae’s little red cheek. He sneezed and I drew back quickly, wondering if I’d woken him.

“He sneezed! Oh my god, that’s so cute!” My wife cooed.

“Really ing cute.” I agreed.

She drifted off into sleep eventually, but she fought it until the very last minute. I understood the feeling of wanting to stay awake and just stare at him.

“Sun Jae,” I whispered to his little sleeping form, “Daddy loves you. So, so much.”

HER POV

“Are you ready to go?” Jimin smiled at me from the doorway of my hospital room. “Doctor says we’re all set.”

“Yeah.” I double checked the straps on Sun Jae’s carseat. “You know, I don’t remember Haru ever being this small.”

“She wasn’t.” Jimin stood next to me and peered down at him. “She was like a pound heavier.”

“He’s a little guy.” I wrapped an arm around Jimin’s slim waist and pulled him close. I felt him start in surprise, stiff in my hold.

“He’s gorgeous.” He said softly, voice catching in his throat. “Just perfect.”

Jimin sang a lullaby on the way home in an attempt to get Sun Jae to sleep. I figured it was fine, he’d be on a schedule soon enough.

Jimin’s lullaby made me tired, so I switched on the radio. He shot me a look, but Big Bang was playing, so he didn’t complain.

“Haru’s at our old apartment with my parents. I can pick her up after dropping you guys off, or we can get her now.” He offered.

“I’m sure your parents would love to see Sun Jae.”

“Okay.” He smiled at me. “Thanks.”

“Sure.”

“DADDY!” Haru shrieked as soon as we stepped into our old apartment. She flung herself onto him, curls bouncing manically as he scooped her up into his arms.

“Sunflower! I’ve missed you!” Jimin peppered her face in kisses and Haru squished his cheeks, giggling.

They shared a moment while I looked down at Sun Jae. At least I was his favorite, for now. I was the one with the s, after all.

“I’m happy to have a son.” I announced. “Sons love their mothers, right?”

Mrs. Park appeared in the living room, a dishtowel in her hands. She laughed at me. “My son loves his mother. I’m the favorite, right, dear?” She looked fondly towards Mr. Park, who got up from his seat on the couch.

“Yes, my love. You’ve always been the favorite.”

The two of them walked over to where we stood. Jimin set Haru down and she peered curiously into the carseat.

“What’s that?” She asked, wrinkling her nose.

“That’s your baby brother.” Jimin informed her. “Sun Jae. You remember, Haru, we talked about this a million times.”

She stared at Sun Jae in fascination for a few seconds.

“I don’t like him.” Haru finally declared, straightening up. “You hav’ to take him back to the ma’ket, Daddy. I don’t want him.”

“Well, we didn’t get him from the market.” Jimin said, smothering a laugh. “We got him from Mama’s tummy, and we love him very much.”

“More than me?” She demanded, affronted.

“No, of course not. We love you both the same.” Jimin said soothingly, holding his arms out for a hug.

“Mama, too?” She looked to me in a panic. “Mama, you love him?”

“Yes, baby, I do. Just as much as I love you.” I patted her hair, aching for a hug, but trying to restrain myself. She needed time to process.

Haru skipped processing altogether and burst into tears.

“I don’ want a baby brotha.” She wailed. “I don’t want one.”

“Haru, honey, it’s okay.” Jimin said gently, reaching out for her.

She stamped her foot and screamed, “No!”

Jimin rolled his eyes as she ran off into her old bedroom. I kissed Sun Jae’s forehead as I unbuckled him from his carseat and handed him to Jimin’s father.

As I left, I noticed Mr. Park had tears glistening in his eyes and a small, proud smile on his face.

“Haru?” I called softly as I opened the door. “Can I talk to you?”

“No!” She shouted, facedown on her bed. “You can’t.”

“Well, I’m gonna.” I sat down on the edge of her bed and patted her chubby little thigh. “Baby, Mama and Daddy still love you very much. That won’t change because you have a baby brother now.”

Haru sat up and climbed into my lap.

“I missed you.” She said rather breathlessly.

“I missed you, too.” I kissed her nose, my heart squeezing with overwhelming affection. “God, Haru, you’re the cutest.”

“Don’t go to the hostipal again.” She commanded, gripping onto my arm so fiercely it hurt.

“I’ll do my best.” I promised. “Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?”

“Yeah, e’cept I missed Yukon.” She said sadly. “Why is he not here?”

“He’s with Uncle TaeTae. He’ll be back soon, promise.”

“Grandma said…she said,” Haru pushed her hair away from her face, “that you an’ Daddy are septitated.”

I stilled. “Grandma told you that?”

She frowned. “No, she tol’ Grandpa.”

I mirrored her frown. I hadn’t realized that Jimin had told his parents. I certainly hadn’t told mine.

I hadn’t told anyone. It was still so new and tentative. I wasn’t even sure how long it would last.

“Daddy’s name is Jimin.” Haru informed me, tracing her finger against my collarbone. “And you name is Baby.”

“My name isn’t Baby.” I patted her head absentmindedly.

“But it is!” She insisted in an upset voice. “Daddy calls you that!”

“Okay.” I agreed. “Do you wanna go out and see Sun Jae?”

“No.” Haru refused, frowning once more. “You hav’ to take him back, Mama. I don’t want him.”

“He’s cute. You’ll see. I didn’t like my little sister at first, but now I love her a lot.”

“Why didn’t you get me a yeetle sister?” Haru demanded petulantly. “Instead of Sun Jae.”

“Alright, well, I’m going out to see Sun Jae. You can come if you wanna.”

“Mama, don’t leave me!” She wailed plaintively, clinging to my leg as I stood. “Don’t gooooo.”

“Hey.” Jimin said in the doorway, surveying the scene with a pained amusement. He held a wailing Sun Jae in his arms. “I think he’s hungry.”

I briefly wondered why we had had children in the first place, since they seemed to want to do nothing but cry and eat.

Jimin passed him to me and in exchange, extricated a weeping Haru from my leg.

“Haru, let’s go play. Hmm? Mama needs to feed Sun Jae.”

“No, I don’t want her to!” Haru shrieked.

Jimin picked her up and carried her from the room.

I latched Sun Jae onto my ; he quieted down with adorable little snuffles. God, I was so obsessed with him. Could he even get any cuter?

Jimin rejoined me in a few minutes. He sat down on the floor and watched me feed Sun Jae.

“So…Haru keeps asking me what ‘septitated’ means.” He carefully watched my expression. “Apparently, she overheard my parents talking about. Said, ‘Grandma looked sad.’”

“Yeah. She told me that your mom told your dad.” I softly Sun Jae’s forehead with one finger. He closed his eyes, looking somehow hungry and peaceful at the same time.

“Yeah, seems like my mom was really upset about it. My dad told me they talked about it quite a few times in front of Haru, so I guess that’s why she noticed it.”

“I don’t want to tell her.” I said. “But I don’t want her talking about it at school.”

“Does she need to go back to school?” Jimin asked abruptly. “I mean…eventually, sure, but not right away. Like…maybe give it a week or two?”

“Oh, you know, I hadn’t thought about it. You’ll be around, right? Your next tour isn’t for like…four months?”

“I might possibly have a jacket shooting next week.”

“Next week?!” I shrieked. “Jimin, you can’t leave me alone with a newborn and a three year old!”

“Well, to be fair, you’re a couple of weeks early.” Jimin said condescendingly. “And that’s why my parents are here. To help you out.”

“Where’s the jacket shooting?”

His ears turned pink. “Germany.” He mumbled.

“How long will you be gone for?” I asked quietly, looking down at Sun Jae.

“Two weeks.” Jimin said a touch defiantly.

“How long have you known about this?”

“A month.” He admitted.

“And you couldn’t tell me before?” I swallowed in an attempt to push my anger down. I didn’t want to give Sun Jae indigestion, or whatever.

Jimin rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to stress you out. Besides, it’s not set in stone. We might not even go.”

“Why wouldn’t you go?”

“Cause we might go on tour instead.” He snapped in a fit of impatience. “Do you really need me here? Sun Jae is fine, you’re fine, and my parents are here to help you take care of both of them. I don’t get paternity leave, you know. You think I want to leave you guys so soon? You think I enjoy it? You know I don’t, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped guilt tripping me.”

Sun Jae unlatched and yawned.

“You’re right.” I Sun Jae’s forehead again. He yawned once more and squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”

Jimin didn’t say anything; I glanced up at him and noticed he seemed a little taken aback. Like he’d never heard me apologize before, jeez.

“Besides…aren’t we technically single parents now, anyway?”

I looked back down at Sun Jae. “We’re still married, you know.”

“Yeah, like you even want to be.” Jimin muttered.

“What are we even fighting about anymore?” I said under my breath. “Just stop.”

Mrs. Park looked worried when we came out a while later.

“We’re gonna go home, I think.” Jimin decided. He pecked his mother on the cheek and gave his father a hug. “We’ll see you guys soon, okay?”

“We leavin’, Daddy?” Haru grabbed onto the leg of his pants.

“Yup, angel. Say goodbye.”

Haru pouted, rolled her eyes, and huffed her way through the obligatory goodbyes with her grandparents. She hated saying goodbye and generally acted like a threenager anytime they happened.

Everyone except Haru kissed Sun Jae at least three times.

“Call us!” Mrs. Park shouted as we left. “Love you!”

“Love you, too!” We chorused.

Haru threw about eight more temper tantrums. I supposed she needed a way to pass the time until bedtime, but Jimin and I were at the end of our respective ropes.

“Goodnight, Haru.” Jimin kissed her one last time. She clung to him, tears pouring from her eyes. “I love you so much.”

“Daddy, cuddle wif me.” She pleaded. “Don’t goooo.”

“I have to, little love. It’s time to sleep.”

“Noooo.” Haru buried her face in his shirt and sobbed. I held Sun Jae in my arms, trying to comfort him and say goodnight to Haru at the same time.

“Here, you want to sleep with Daddy’s shirt?” Jimin peeled it off and laid it next to Haru. “Okay? Sleep with my shirt. It smells like me and it’ll keep you company.”

Haru nodded, slightly mollified. She snuggled with the shirt and let out a shuddering sigh. I passed Sun Jae to Jimin, who hurriedly exited the room.

“Goodnight, Haru.” I kissed her forehead. “Sleep well, little love.”

“Love you, Mama.” Haru whispered. “See you in the mornin’.”

“See you in the morning.”

I closed her door and was met with a heartwarming sight in the living room. Jimin lay on the couch, Sun Jae curled up on his chest, fast asleep. It reminded me forcefully of when Haru was a newborn and Jimin would stay awake with her to let me sleep a little longer.

I sat cross-legged on the floor next to him. He turned his head to smile tiredly at me.

“Remember when you liked to sleep with my clothes when I was away?” His ran his tongue across his lips. “Back when we were first dating.”

I leaned my head on the couch so our bangs were touching. “I still do that, Jimin.”

“Ah, do you?” He murmured thoughtfully. “Didn’t know you still liked me.”

“I love you.” I pressed my forehead to his. “I love you so much that I just want you around most of the time, and not off doing your dumb job.”

“Well, you have a very funny way of showing that.” He snorted. “If you asked me for a separation.”

“Isn’t it easier this way? Maybe I’ll miss you less when you do leave me.” I traced my finger down the side of his face.

Jimin suddenly leaned in and kissed me. His fingers curled around the back of my head, weaving into my hair and drawing me closer. He parted his lips and I tried to pull away, but he kept kissing me, so gently, so sweetly.

He broke away reluctantly, then kissed the tip of my nose.

“Goodnight.”

I stood, then leaned over and gently kissed Sun Jae’s head. I felt Jimin’s eyes on me as I walked away.

He put Sun Jae in his little bassinette while I washed my face. I came into our bedroom to find Jimin mostly , stepping into some boxers. I let out a little shriek and he smirked at me.

“Shh, you’ll wake the baby.” He teased.

“I can’t believe we have a baby.” I said softly as I climbed into bed.

“I know.” Jimin agreed, peeking down into the bassinette. “He’s great. I just love him.”

“Me too.” I checked my Instagram before laying my phone down next to me on the bed. It felt too big without Jimin in there with me.

“Don’t sleep in your street clothes.” He chided.

“’m tired, though.” I murmured. “Don’t wanna change.”

“You gotta. It’s dirty, you wore those in the hospital. Sick people germs could be on our bed.”

“We were in the maternity ward.” I yawned.

Jimin frowned at me, so I reluctantly got out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt from my drawer. He looked away as I changed and unhooked my bra, sliding it out from one sleeve.

“Goodnight.” He said as I crawled under the covers. “Love you.”

“Goodnight.” I echoed.

Jimin lingered in the doorway. I reached over and turned out the light, wondering what to say to him. What else did we have to say to each other?

Finally, he sighed and plodded off towards the living room, where our couch waited for him.

I laid in bed for ten or twenty minutes, debating with myself.

Nothing had changed. We were still fighting, Jimin was still always going to be busy, and I would still always feel heartbroken and a little bitter about it.

Nothing would change. We would always be like this; fighting, then making up. It was our thing. We were the temperamental, impulsive couple, always on the brink of a break-up.

I thought suggesting a separation would spur Jimin into evaluating his priorities. Maybe I was hoping he would take some time off of work to spend some time with me. Like, real quality time.

I guess I had hoped that he would argue some more with me, insist that we were staying together and he would never concede to a divorce. That he’d just ask to sleep in the same bed as me, instead of hanging in the doorway like a rejected little puppy.

I knew I’d backed him into a corner. I knew he hated all of this, everything about it. That he wanted to brush it under the rug and snuggle in bed with me. I wanted that, too.

But I wanted us to last. I didn’t want a divorce, not at all. I wanted a healthy marriage with open communication and forgiveness and trust. I wanted snuggles and stability.

I wanted it to be like it was a year ago, when Sun Jae was just a thought in the back of our minds. When Jimin woke me up with morning tickles and kisses and Haru smothered me with hugs.

I wanted us to be us again.

I just didn’t know how to get there.

“Baby?”

A soft whisper startled me from my reverie.

“Jimin?” I whispered into the dark.

“Yeah.” I felt the bed dip under his weight and soon, he was lying next to me. His hair tickled my shoulder as he bent his head and kissed my neck.

“What’s wrong?”

“I miss you.” Jimin wrapped his arms tightly around me. “I don’t want to sleep on the couch.”

I turned so we were nose-to-nose.

I kissed him once, very softly.

“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch.” I replied, my arms around his neck. He moved his hands to my waist and kissed me again.

I felt him smile into the kiss. I smiled back, and soon we were giggling and kissing, our teeth knocking together in the best way.

I fell asleep in the middle of a kiss.

It was perfect.