Spontaneous traveling had totally been my thing when I was younger and hadn’t had children. Spontaneous traveling was totally not my thing when I was accompanied by a four year old and a very uncomfortable, overtired infant. I’m pretty sure every passenger on that thirteen hour flight wanted to throw us all out of the window and see how we’d fare swimming our way to California.

But it was fun to see Haru so excited to be on a plane. She even got excited over the airplane food, although she wouldn’t eat it. Luckily, I had packed snacks for the two of us in my carry-on; a mother always had to be prepared.

I’d left Yukon with Taehyung and the cats with Hoseok. Our nanny, Isabel, had been given some paid vacation time. And Yoongi agreed to oversee the changing of our locks and swore he wouldn’t even tell Jin they’d been changed. I would have asked Jungkook, but he was a er when it came to Jin.

Jimin’s manager met us at the airport. She very graciously took the kids from me so I could surprise Jimin by myself, and also, it was their naptime. They were both very jet-lagged and sleepy, so once I had them settled into the hotel, I got an Uber to take me to the studio.

I burst into the dance studio, opening the door so hard it banged against the wall. Poor Jimin jumped about a foot in the air, yelping. Jay Park was there, too, as well as a couple of other dancers, but I just marched straight up to my bewildered husband and planted a kiss on his mouth.

He sweetly returned my kiss, then stepped back.

“What…what are you doing here?” Jimin glanced at the other people in the room, who were snickering and catcalling, like we weren’t all basically in our thirties.

“I missed you.” I ruffled his sweaty hair.

“What about work? Where are the kids?”

“They’re with your manager, sleeping in our hotel room. And work was fine with it, because I’m doing ‘research’ for my book.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close. He smelled of body odor and his shirt and hair were drenched in sweat, but I ran my fingers through his (recently dyed) black hair, smiling at him.

Jimin stared at me for a moment with soft eyes, then cupped my face in his hands, pushing his thumbs into my dimples.

“I’m glad you’re here.” He kissed me, several times. I heard an “Ohhhh!” from the side that made me blush, but I didn’t pull away.

“Me too. By the way, I changed the locks to the apartment. I brought you some new keys.” I paused. “Jimin, I’m worried about Jin.”

Jimin ignored this and buried his face in my neck.

“I mean, that’s just not normal behavior.” I continued as he kissed down to my clavicles. “Where did he even get a key? He gave his back. Did he make copies without telling us? Did he take someone’s? Seriously, Jimin, stop kissing me and talk to me.”

“Don’t wanna.” He pouted. “You came all this way and you only wanna talk about Jin.”

“I’d like to talk about you, beautiful.” A smooth, charismatic voice said. I looked up to see Jay Park smiling at me.

Instantly, I blushed and pushed Jimin away. He whined in annoyance, but I ignored him and fluffed up my hair. Jay’s smile widened.

“Damn. You’re even prettier in person.”

I could feel myself smiling too much, that closed lip smile Jimin said drove him crazy.

“You have such cute dimples.” He continued, poking one with the tip of his finger. “And damn, look at that shy smile. Jimin,” he called to my husband, who was standing in a corner, sulking, “how can you stand to leave this girl alone?”

“You better ing leave her alone.” Jimin said, his voice just a little too tight to be calm.

“I don’t mind.” I said shyly. “If the man wants to compliment me, let him compliment me.”

“Yeah,” Jay agreed, throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. He smelled just as bad as Jimin, but I did not mind, “we’re just friends, right, beautiful?”

I giggled.

Jimin sighed and lifted his eyes to heaven. “God, why have you cursed me with such a shameless wife?”

Normally, I might have tried to reassure him, (okay, let’s not joke, I wouldn’t have), but Jay Park had his arm around my shoulder and I was too busy trying not to lose my . Yeah, sure, I was married to an idol, but it wasn’t like I’d married my idol.

Nah, Taeyang was still out of my league.

“Baby, you know I love you.” I walked over to Jimin and wrapped my arms around his waist. He tried to turn away from me, still sulking, but I squeezed him so tightly that he wheezed with laughter and finally returned my hug.

Jay called my name and I turned to answer, but Jimin caught me by the waist and pulled me back to him.

“We’re going to a club later if you wanna join. I know you got kids, though, so don’t worry if you can’t.”

“Those damn kids.” I shook my head. “Ruining their mom’s chances with a celebrity.”

“Um, excuse me, need I remind you that you’re already married to a celebrity?” Jimin yanked on my hair. “More famous than he is?”

“More famous, maybe, but not more talented.” I giggled, a sly lilt in my voice.

“Ohhh, damn, Jimin! Your wife don’t hold back!” Jay high-fived me and the other dancers in the room shared a laugh at Jimin’s expense.

“Damn, alright. I see how it is.” Jimin shook his head at me. “It’s okay; I’ve got a lot of fans. I don’t need you.”

“You can just be my fan, baby girl.” Jay winked at me, then grinned. I admit, I kind of lost my at that moment. My mouth fell open and my fave, Jay Park, could definitely see the hearts shooting out of my eyes because he smirked and glanced at Jimin.

“Your girl want me, we both know. Cause she got yellow fever, yeah believe it. Imma take her home tonight.” He sang, dancing away from us.

“That really killed it for me.” I lied. “I really don’t like that song.” In reality, I felt weak in the knees and kinda wanted to see where it could go with Jay Park.

Jimin just laughed and kissed my temple. “I’m glad you’re here.” He whispered into my hair.

He had to practice for a few more hours and since I didn’t have an actual babysitter, I went back to the hotel to hang with the kids while they napped. I wanted to nap, too, but knew it would worsen my jet lag.

My phone rang and Jin’s name appeared on the screen. Should I pick it up or let it go to voicemail?

I answered.

“You changed your locks.” Jin accused me.

I gasped. “How’d you find out?”

“I tried to stop by today to apologize for the other night and there was a locksmith there. And Yoongi.”

“Yeah.”

There was silence for a while.

“Yeah? That’s all you’re gonna say, sunshine?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say?” I shrugged, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “We changed our locks. You can’t let yourself in at four in the morning anymore, Jin.”

He sighed, sounding frustrated. “I’m just going through a hard time. I won’t do it again.”

“Yeah, because we changed our locks.” I said. “Listen, Jin. I’m working on my marriage, okay? I love Jimin and want to be with him. There’s no room for you and you need to respect that.”

“…Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you. I’m worried about you. This isn’t normal behavior; it’s weird. It’s even kind of creepy, okay? I will always care about you, Jin, but just as a friend.”

“But you like me.” He said quietly.

“Jin! Liking you doesn’t mean I’m willing to leave my family for you. I’m in a committed relationship with someone I love. We have two kids together. I can’t…” I sighed through my nose. “I’m not leaving him, and you need to accept that.”

Jin was silent.

“I don’t know why you’ve become like this.” I continued. “We used to be such good friends. I thought that you confessed to me to try and get over me. I just don’t understand! Why have you been in love with me for so long? What’s the incentive? What kind of encouragement did you receive?” I paused. “I didn’t try to encourage you, Jin.”

He still didn’t reply. I felt a sudden longing for him, the way we used to be together. All three of us, sitting on my living room couch and watching a movie. Jimin’s delighted giggle when Jin made a dad joke, the way we used to exchange glances across the room when Jimin and Haru were being particularly adorable, how he’d berate me in the kitchen when I didn’t follow his cooking instructions, gently smacking me with a wooden spoon while I just laughed at him. I missed all of that.

Haru moved in her sleep, shifting so her hand rested on my thigh.

“Sunshine, did you ever love me?” Jin asked, very quietly.

I had told myself a hundred times that I didn’t love Jin. Had said it to Jimin until I was blue in the face, that I didn’t love Jin, that I never loved Jin.

But, deep down, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t feel the same way about Jin that I felt about Jimin. I’d never felt that way about anyone except Jimin. He felt like home to me.

What had it been with Jin? Lust, insecurity, a meaningless distraction from my marital woes?

Or love?

A soft, gentle kind of love. One that made me want to hold his hand and kiss his cheek, but not one that made me want to leave my family for him. But, sometimes, I’d imagined it. Imagined the wide, spacious house we’d live in, decorated with Super Mario Bros. paraphernalia and the wall art I bought that Jimin thought was too weird. I’d have custody of both of the kids and Jimin would take them on the weekends he wasn’t on tour. But he was always on tour, or in the recording studio, or off with his new girlfriend. Our kids were growing up without a father, but Jin was there.

Jin was always there.

Inevitably, at this point in my idle fantasy, I’d break down crying. I always had them after a fight with Jimin, or when he was on tour, or when Jin had said something especially sweet to me and Jimin got angry about it. The fictional life I’d woven in my dreams suddenly felt like a viable possibility, and I hated it. The only life I wanted was one with Jimin in it. But the life we were living was one where he was rarely around and I was alone, raising two kids and struggling in my career. It was a life where my marriage always teetered on the brink of divorce, where my husband gradually fell out of love with me, and where I rapidly grew to hate myself.

I didn’t want to be alone, and Jin was always there.

“I don’t know.” I said, so soft and ashamed.

Jin didn’t reply for a long time. What was he thinking about? Had I hurt him once again? But how many times could we have the same conversation before we started to hate each other? It was time to let go; it’d been time to let go.

We would never be friends again, not like we were. Jin would never sit on my couch cracking dad jokes and making my husband giggle in that way I found especially adorable.

“Jin, I’m so tired.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I can’t do this with you anymore.”

Jin said something, but I was distracted by the beeping of the hotel key, then the door swinging open. Jimin walked in, sweaty and disheveled. We made eye contact and he beamed at me.

“I’m gonna shower.” He mouthed. I nodded and he took off his shirt as he entered the bathroom, gifting me with a glimpse of his toned stomach.

“Sunshine, did you hear me?” Jin’s voice rang in my ear.

“No, sorry. What did you say?”

“I said I’m getting married.”

Jimin came back in the room about a half an hour later. His wet hair stuck out in little feathery wisps and his sweatpants slung low on his hips.

He laid down on the other side of the bed so that Haru lay in between us. His hand rested on her soft curls; he smiled at me as he absentmindedly rubbed them between his fingers.

“Who’s taking care of the pets?”

“Yukon’s with TaeTae and the cats are with Hoseok.” I sighed and leaned back against the headboard.

“How was your flight?”

“Not bad. A little stressful, but worth it.”

Jimin smiled at me. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He reached over and took my hand, intertwining our fingers. “I missed you.”

“You missed me or you missed Haru?”

He chuckled. “I love Sun Jae, too, you know.”

“I know.” I smiled tiredly. “Oh, Jiminie. Can you tell me you love me and that I’m pretty?”

“You’re beautiful.” He said softly. “And I love you.”

I squeezed his hand and he squeezed mine back.

“You know,” he began, “we should go on a date.”

“We don’t have a babysitter.”

Jimin waved a dismissive hand. “The hotel has babysitters.”

I made an uneasy little hum. “Leaving my babies with strangers?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I just wanna watch the California sunset with you. Go to the beach and dip our toes in the water. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Mmm. Sounds lovely.”

Haru woke up and sleepily spotted Jimin. She let out a tiny shriek of joy and climbed into his lap, tucking her head against his chest.

“Daaaaaddy.”

“Haaaaru.” Jimin mimicked.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, sunflower.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Love love, Daddy.”

“Love love, Haru.” Jimin looked over and smiled at me, clearly melting.

I leaned in and kissed him. He started in surprise, then kissed me back, very sweetly, tenderly.

“Love love.” He whispered.

“Love love.” I whispered back, rubbing my nose against his.

“Love love!” Haru cried, pushing in between us to give us each a kiss on the cheek.

Sun Jae slept through the rest of the day. Jimin and I debated waking him up to eat, but figured he was probably suffering from jet lag. Poor little love. We knew that he’d be up in the middle of the night and that it would bother Haru (and us), but what was the point of adjusting him to a new sleep schedule when we’d be home in two days and he’d have to switch back?

I gave Haru a bath and Jimin sat perched on the edge of the bathtub, strumming a guitar and quietly singing children’s songs.

“Daddy, can you please sing Wheels on the Bus?”

“Of course, my love.”

We sang about three verses before bathtime went awry. Haru got too excited with her dancing and flicked soap into her eyes, which trigged a catastrophic meltdown. By the time Jimin and I had calmed her down, we were both soaking wet and a little cranky.

“I’m going to order room service.” Jimin decided as he parked Haru in front of the television, the volume turned to low so Sun Jae wouldn’t wake up. “You want to shower?”

“Yeah.”

Under the stream of water, I contemplated what Jin had said to me. Marriage? To Anjali?

He didn’t even love her.

But he couldn’t love me forever.

I didn’t want him to love me at all.

“I just want to stop thinking about him.” I sighed out loud to myself.

“Are thoughts of my cute haunting you?” Jimin said, startling me.

“Good Lord, Jimin! I didn’t hear you come in. ing almost had a heart attack.”

He pulled back the curtain and peered in. “Who were you on the phone with? Before?”

I could tell by his tone and the look in his eyes that he already knew.

“Jin.”

Jimin’s eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second. “Are you two renewing your friendship or something?”

“No, actually. He’s getting married.”

He paused and bit his lower lip. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Jimin pulled away and readjusted the shower curtain so I couldn’t see his face. I heard him turn on the faucet and splash water, probably on his face.

He said my name in a sigh.

“Why did you come?”

I didn’t answer and instead focused on slathering conditioner onto my curls. What kind of answer did he except? I came because I wanted to see him.

“Shouldn’t I have come?”

Jimin turned off the faucet at the same time I turned off the shower. He handed me a towel and sat on the counter while I dried off and applied product to my hair. A considerable amount of time passed before he spoke again.

“When I can’t see your face, I don’t think about the way you look when you talk about him.”

I stood in between his legs and placed my hands on his thighs. Jimin watched me from underneath lowered lashes, a small pout on his lips.

“How do I look when I talk about him?”

He threw back his head and sighed dramatically, brushing a hand through his hair. “Like ya love him.”

“Hey, hey.” I took his face in my hands and kissed his cheeks. “I don’t love him. You’re my one and only. My ride or die.”

Jimin leveled his gaze at me. “Babe, you can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. I know you love him. Maybe not like you love me, but it’s there. Maybe it’s just a little bit, maybe it’s a lot. I can’t figure it out.”

I shook my head and threw my arms around his neck. Jimin held me loosely in his arms.

“I’m tired. I don’t know why I keep having this same conversation with you.”

“I don’t know why, either.” I replied, rubbing my nose against his neck.

“Maybe because nothing has changed in the past nine months. Ever since Seokjin confessed to you, it’s been like this.”

“Jiminie, what do I have to do? What can make you trust me?”

He gently pushed me away. “It’s not about trust. It’s about love. You love Jin and there’s not a damn thing either one of us can do about it.”

“I don’t love him.” I said quietly.

“You used to be a better liar.” Jimin turned his face away from me, but I caught the dark hurt in his eyes.

“I’m not trying to lie to you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He hopped off of the counter and snatched his toothbrush out of the holder, hands shaking. I couldn’t decide whether they shook out of anxiety or anger.

“Why do keep insisting on bringing it up?”

“Because! You brought someone else into our relationship. It’s not something I can just get over.” He brushed his teeth vigorously, then spat into the sink. “I feel like I’m in your way or something. Like you two are star-crossed lovers or something and I’m ing it up.”

I lowered my eyes, which brimmed with tears. “I’m sorry, Jimin.”

“I know you are.” He said softly, running a gentle hand over my wet curls.

“I don’t want you to feel like this. I don’t know what I was doing, Jiminie.” I rubbed a forceful fist over my eyes. “You’re precious to me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Jimin rinsed out his mouth and blotted it dry with a towel. “Well, you did. I forgive you, but I’m still having a hard time.”

“I don’t love him, Jimin. I just…I loved the idea of him.”

He shot me a look. “That doesn’t make it any better, sunshine. You loved the idea of another man being in love with you? What about me is not enough for you?” He raised his voice as he continued asking questions. “Why am I not enough for you? Why have I never been enough for you?”

A part of me, an old, stubborn part of me, wanted to get mad at him. Wanted to insist that if he had never left me alone like that, if he’d never acted disinterested in me, in our family, that this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. But as I looked at him, at his wounded pride and soft vulnerability, my desire to be right, to be justified, faded away.

I just wanted to kiss his forehead and make everything go away, like a bad dream.

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

“Jimin, I’m here. I’m not leaving you. I swear.” I whispered in his ear.

“Just because you stay with me doesn’t mean you still love me. Being your ‘family’ doesn’t mean I’m still your lover.”

I thought of the time I’d let Jin drunkenly caress me on Ji Eun’s living room floor, and the hickey that Jimin had discovered. Squeezing my eyes shut against the memory, I held Jimin even closer.

“Jimin, I only want to love you.”

“But you don’t love only me.” He said resignedly, pushing me away.

He left the bathroom, but I stayed. Soon enough, I heard room service knock on the door, then the sounds of Jimin and Haru chatting while eating. I stayed in the bathroom, perched on the closed toilet lid with my knees to my chest, wet hair streaming around my shoulders.

I cried silently, the way I’d learned to when Jimin left and I didn’t want to wake Haru or Sun Jae. I hated the back-and-forth in our relationship, hated that sometimes we were so, so good and other times we were so ty that I wanted to end it altogether. I would have preferred a stable, even stagnant marriage with Jimin over this tumultuous mess. At least then I would have had him in my life as a constant.

I heard Jimin tuck Haru into bed and fretted that she hadn’t gone to the bathroom before sleeping. I knew he done it to give me some privacy, but she might wet the bed in her sleep. Maybe I’d wake her up in a couple of hours to go.

Fifteen minutes passed. I wondered when to come out, if I was ready to come out. Jimin took a work call and I heard the undercurrent of stress in his voice.

Finally, he knocked on the door.

“I have to pee.” He said flatly.

I moved from the toilet seat to the bathroom floor, tucking my knees back up to my chest.

“I feel weird that you’re in here while I’m peeing.” Jimin said as he tugged his pants down.

“Seriously? Jimin, you’ve peed in front of me a million times. We’re married. There’s no part of your body that I haven’t seen.”

“Well, we’re fighting.”

“That doesn’t make us any less married.”

“I need to take a piss! Can you just get out, please?”

I stomped from the room and threw myself onto the empty bed. Jimin came out a few minutes later and laid down next to me.

“I hate when you’re mad at me.” I mumbled.

“I am sad at you.” He replied. “It’s different.”

“It’s the worst.” I moaned dejectedly into my pillow. He patted my head.

“It’ll get better, baby. We just have to give it time.”

“Will it, though? I keep making you sad.” I turned my head to look at him. “Jiminie. Don’t be sad mad at me.”

“It’s gonna take time, baby girl.”

Jimin drew closer to me and laid a hand on my waist. “I’m still glad you’re here.”

He kissed me, really kissed me.

“I thought you sounded sad on the phone. I didn’t want you to be like that anymore.”

“I don’t want to be like that anymore.”

“So, it’s agreed? No one will be sad anymore?”

Jimin chuckled quietly, nose against mine. “I won’t if you won’t.”

I held out my pinky and Jimin linked his around mine. We touched our thumbs together and smiled.

“Promise.”

We sealed it with a kiss.

“You melt too easily.” I said later when we were cuddling, my hand on his bare chest. “You can be the frostiest boy in town, but I say the right thing and you’re a puddle of butter.”

“Well…I’m just a little weak for you.” Jimin kissed me, soft and sweet. “Are you sad Jin is getting married?”

“Yeah. I’m sad for him. He’s unhappy and he’s making stupid decisions.” I paused. “And I’m sad that we’re not going to be a part of it. That we’re not friends anymore, that we’re just part of a stupid, messy love triangle. I want to be a love line. Just love you and just be friends with Jin.”

“You miss him?” Jimin murmured, tucking his face into my neck so I couldn’t see his expression.

“Yeah.” I whispered. “I know you do, too.”

Sun Jae woke up with a cry. Jimin leapt out of bed and transferred him into my arms before Haru could even stir. I lifted my shirt and Sun Jae immediately latched onto my , staring at his father and lazily tapping his fingers against my skin.

“We should probably introduce some solid food soon.” Jimin one of Sun Jae’s eyebrows.

“Yeah. Maybe. Can he just be a baby forever?”

“Do you think Anjali’s pregnant?”

His abrupt question threw me for a loop. “Um, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it.”

“Really? What’s with the quick engagement?”

I chewed on my lower lip. “I don’t know. Maybe she said she was gonna leave him if he didn’t marry her.”

“So, why not just leave her? He doesn’t love her.”

“Well,” I shrugged, “maybe she is. Jin will be an excellent father.”

“Yeah.” Jimin mumbled.

He kissed my forehead and Sun Jae’s forehead, then got out of bed and pulled a shirt over his head.

“Going somewhere?” I asked as he picked up his keys and slid into a pair of boots.

“Just gonna make a quick phone call.” He winked at me. “See ya in a bit, baby.”

JIMIN’S POV

Jin answered the phone in a pleasantly surprised voice. “Jimin, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah.” I agreed.

I sat on a swing in the middle of a playground. The sun had set long before, but it wasn’t very cold. Thank God for California in the winter.

“So…what’s up?” Jin asked.

“You’re getting married?” I kicked at the woodchips underneath my feet, dirtying the toe of my Timberlands.

“Oh, yes. I am.” He paused. “Ideally, I would have liked to ask you to be my best man, but at the moment, I’m torn between Jungkook and Namjoon.”

I laughed in spite of myself. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”

“So, why the sudden decision? A few days ago you were hitting on my semi- wife, but today you’re an engaged man? Is she pregnant?”

Jin cleared his throat. “Yes, she is.” He paused. “Isn’t it funny? Our marriages both started because of an unplanned pregnancy.”

“Ah, well, hopefully yours goes better than mine.” I mumbled.

“I’m not really interested in hearing you complain about your marriage to the woman I love.”

“Anjali really wants to marry you? She knows you don’t love her.”

“Well, she loves me and I’ve impregnated her.” Jin took a deep breath. “I want to be a father. I want to stop loving someone who won’t ever love me enough to leave her husband.”

“She does love you, doesn’t she?”

Jin didn’t speak. I cursed and sent a spray of woodchips flying across the park.

“Jimin, you don’t know what you have.” He said finally, quietly. “I’ve never seen two people so in love with each other. That girl lights up like a firefly whenever she’s around you. Even when you’re making her cry, when you’re making her feel miserable and unloved, she just wants to be with you. Stop worrying about me. I’m…I’m nothing to her.”

“I wish you were nothing to her.” I said earnestly. “No, I don’t. I wish we were all just friends again. That love had nothing to do with this.”

“Ah, me too.” Jin sighed. “But how do you fall out of love with a girl like that?”

“Watch her fall in love with someone else.” My words were bitter, sparked with anger.

“Too late.” Jin replied.

“Why are you even in love with her?” I burst out. “What the , Jin? Unrequited love isn’t romantic, it’s creepy and nonsensical. Why would you love someone who never gave anything back to you, not even a scrap of love?”

He cleared his throat. “She was my friend before she was anything else to me. I don’t know when I started to love her or what, but she’s always been an important person to me. I would have been content with loving her from afar and being her friend my entire life, but I confessed.”

“Are you blaming me right now?! Are you blaming me for this stupid, ed up mess?”

“No, Jimin. I’m just saying that I got a little desperate when I confessed and we couldn’t even be friends anymore.” Jin made a noise in the back of his throat. “Am I weird? A little obsessive? Maybe. Probably. I should probably, like, go to therapy or something because I’ve really ed up my life…but this isn’t something I can get over in a day.”

“It’s been months.”

“, Jimin, you know what I mean. Would you be able to get over her in a few months?”

I jumped up from the swing and paced around the playground, feeling jittery with adrenaline.

“Jin, that’s different. We have an entire life together, we have history. I basically lost my ity to her, but you guys have never even touched. I’ve watched her give birth to both of my children! What have you ever had with her? Huh? Tell me, what have you done with my wife that outweighs our life? Don’t compare your thwarted, unhappy love to my seven years of healthy, loving happiness.”

“I’ve loved her for years without expecting anything, but you’re better than me? Your marriage is falling apart, Jimin, and you’re doing nothing to stop it.”

“It’s normal to have expectations in love! I’m completely justified in wondering whether I should try and make it work with her when she’s in love with another man. That’s what healthy relationships are like, Jin, not just loving someone for the sake of loving someone.”

“Isn’t that what love is all about? Loving someone just because they’re themselves? I don’t need to marry her to love her. Your marriage is making you fall out of love with her.”

“It’s my ing marriage, Seokjin, so just keep your stupid nose out of it. Your love isn’t pure, it’s ing creepy!” I shouted. “Just grow up.”

He groaned. “, why am I even bothering? I’m getting married and I’m going to be a dad. I can’t argue with you about who loves your wife more.”

“Good.” I said mulishly. “Because you’re an idiot.”

“You’re invited to my wedding. I didn’t yours up, so don’t up mine.”

“I’d like to see you married off! Gets you out of my hair.”

“I want you to be in my wedding party.” Jin said quietly.

I fell silent, momentarily stunned.

“The rest of Bangtan will be in it. It will be strange if you’re not.”

“Oh.”

“And…you’re still one of my best friends, Jimin.” He paused. “I’d like you to be a part of my wedding day.”

“I don’t know what to say. A part of me is touched, but a larger part of me doesn’t want to have to console my wife after she watches her lover get married.”

“We’re not lovers.” Jin snapped. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I’d only sleep with her if she wasn’t your wife anymore.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you have at least that much decency.”

“Don’t be sarcastic.”

Neither of us spoke for a moment.

“Congratulations, Jin. I really want you to be happy.”

“Thanks, Jimin. I really want to be happy.”

When I went back to the hotel room, my wife was still up with Sun Jae, who seemed like he had no intention of falling back asleep.

“I win.” I said, tossing my phone onto the bed and climbing in next to her. “Anjali’s pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah?” She smiled brightly at me. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“So am I.”

I turned to stare at her, my heart pounding in my chest.

“No ing way.”

She burst out laughing. “Oh my god, baby, don’t be mad at me, but your face is priceless.”

“Are you pregnant?!” I demanded. “Are we having another baby?”

My wife dimpled at me. “Nah, I just wanted to see your reaction.”

I flopped against the pillows and let out a long sigh, flinging my arm over my eyes.

“My life just flashed before me. Jesus, baby, my heart is racing.”

She leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotcha.”

I took her chin and kissed . “Got me forever, baby.”