Jin had someone over when I returned. It was a girl and they were kissing.

“Oh! Oh, .” I dropped my keys as they both whirled around. Jin’s cheeks flushed pink and he quickly stepped away from her.

“Oh, hey.” He greeted me awkwardly.

“Um…I was just…I can go.” I turned to leave, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

“It’s okay. Anjali was just on her way out. Right?” Jin smiled at her and she grinned back.

“Yeah. This was nice. We should do it again sometime.”

“We should.” He agreed, sneaking in a quick kiss.

Jin walked her to the door and I sunk into the couch, half-wishing it would swallow me in my mortification.

“I ruined your date!” I cried as he made his way over to me, a pretty smile lighting up his face. He flopped down next to me and threw his head in my lap.

“She really was just leaving.” He tried his best to look sincere.

“Nah, I know I ruined it.”

Jin let out a fluttery sigh. “Yeah. You did. I wanted to get some tonight, but you showed up with your sad face and your dark circles.”

“ you.” I pulled his hair, but I was laughing.

“Why are you here? Why aren’t you making out with Jimin or something?”

“Ah, you know. I just…I don’t know. I’m not over it yet.”

“Well, it’s only been a day.” He shrugged. “Takes some time, I guess.”

“What if I never get over it?” I murmured, casting my eyes up to the ceiling. “What if I just never trust him again?”

Jin tapped my nose. “You’re being a bit ridiculous.”

“Am I, though? We’re married. There’s a level of partnership there that doesn’t come with dating. It’d be different if we were dating. We’d be over and I’d be mostly fine. But now there’s Haru and I’m pregnant and it’s just been so long with him. We’re a family, but it’s like he tried to bring someone else into it.”

“So you think he cheated on you?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. But whatever. Tell me about Anjali. She’s gorgeous. Where’d you meet her?”

Jin smiled up at me. “Would you believe me if I said she’s a fan?”

“Oh…my god. You’re dating a fan.” I tried to hide my shock, but I ended up bursting into giggles.

“I met her in India.” He said defensively. “After a show. At a club. She’s a diplomat, so that’s why she’s in Korea. And she’s the daughter of the Indian ambassador.”

“Damn. What a catch. Is she rich?”

“Yup.” He rested his hands behind his head and smiled smugly. “Definitely not just after me for my money. Also, she’s a great cook. She made dinner tonight and I’m pretty sure I fell a little bit in love.”

“Ha! I knew you had a secret lover.” I poked his nose. He swatted my hand away.

“We’re just dating. It’s only been like a week or two since she’s been in Korea. I’m trying to see if we have anything substantial in common.”

“Like if she wants to have your babies?” I asked, half-seriously.

“Yeah. Among other things.”

“Your babies would be a whole new kind of beautiful.” I said musingly. “Think one of them would want to procreate with Haru?”

“Maybe. If she doesn’t mind younger men.”

“I’m sure she won’t; she’s her mother’s daughter, after all. If not, I’ve got another kid coming. Why don’t you knock up Anjali and we can betroth our children to each other?”

“You’re so weird.” He sat up and fixed his already perfect hair. “Why don’t you focus on your own marriage first before planning your children’s?”

I kicked him. “Don’t be a jerk.”

Jin pinched me and we sat in silence for a few moments.

“So...did Jimin go to the club with you?”

Jin looked over, startled. “Huh?”

“In India. When you met Anjali.” I prompted.

He contemplated for a while, thoughtfully tapping his chin with a finger.

“I don’t remember. Jungkook was, for sure. That boy can really handle his alcohol, let me tell you.” He paused. “It was in the summer, around your birthday. I’m pretty sure Jimin was in the hotel, skyping you.”

I remembered that skype session. Pretty vividly, actually, since we had done a little more than just talk.

“Let’s see, Namjoon and Ji Eun had just broken up, so I’m pretty sure he was off with a girl somewhere. Tae didn’t come with us. And Yoongi and Hoseok went out to explore the sights.”

“Joonie was off with a girl somewhere?” I asked incredulously.

Jin shrugged. “Why not? It’s not like Ji Eun would ever get back with him. He knew it then, too. We shared a room and he’s even chattier when he’s drunk. Kept me up half the night talking about how she wouldn’t even answer his text messages.”

“Did Jimin ever go to the club with you guys?”

“Sure.” Jin answered easily. “He loves clubs. Loves to dance.”

I knew Jimin loved clubs. He always begged me to go out with him. I knew that, but I couldn’t keep myself from imagining him dancing with beautiful girls, their sweaty bodies pressed up against each other.

“What else do you guys do after shows?”

“Sleep, a lot of times. Hoseok likes to go out and explore and Yoongi usually accompanies him. Jungkook just likes to go out to clubs and dance and Jimin goes with him. I’m glad Kookie can enjoy his youth. It was kind of stifling to turn twenty-four when we were still a fairly new group. Although I’m really more the stay-at-home type, anyway.”

“Twenty-four was a good year for me.”

“Didn’t you get married that year?”

“Ah, you’re right. I did, didn’t I? Right before I turned twenty-five. Damn, Jimin was just a baby when we got married. You know, I don’t blame him if he wants to cheat on me. It’s not his fault I got pregnant. He probably only wanted to marry me on a whim and now he’s regretting it. I stole his twenties from him.”

I let out a melancholy sigh as Jin sat there, absorbing my words. I continued thoughtfully.

“Yeah, sometimes I wonder what would have happened with us if I’d just remembered to take my birth control. Or if I’d gotten an abortion, you know? I didn’t want to, though. Neither of us did. But would we have really gotten married if I wasn’t pregnant? At that point in time, we were just so relieved to be back with each other. Would it have lasted if we didn’t have Haru? But maybe Jimin hasn’t been happy for a while. Is it because I said I wasn’t really on board with his solo career? Is he stressed because I’m pregnant again? Maybe he’s bitter against me. Maybe he doesn’t like me because I’m not a very good wife. Shouldn’t I at least be able to go grocery shopping?”

I brushed my hand over my eyes as tears sprung into them.

“You know, maybe he stopped loving me a long time ago, but he’s too good of a guy to let me go. Maybe he fell in love with someone else and can’t leave me because he loves Haru and doesn’t want to lose her. What am I going to do about this baby?” I placed a hand on my stomach. “I don’t want to be a single mom. Maybe I shouldn’t even have this baby.”

Jin interrupted my morbid train of thought by standing and yanking me up with him. He shoved me up against the wall with furious glint in his eye. Before I could even react, his lips hovered centimeters away from mine, so close that if I spoke, they would touch.

And then, just as suddenly, he moved back and swept the hair from my face.

“I could have kissed you just then and you wouldn’t have been able to stop me.”

I swallowed nervously, a little intimidated by the look in his eye.

“What would Jimin have thought if he came in here suddenly and saw us like that? Hmm? What would he think?”

I pushed him away, suddenly angry. “It’s not the same! His lips were on her neck! He was holding her waist!”

Jin flipped me over so his back was against the wall. I stumbled and he reached out and placed my hands on his waist, subtly steering me into his neck.

“Like this, right?” He bent to whisper in my ear. “It’s not so hard, is it? To make the victim look like the perpetrator, especially if he’s a man.”

“He’s not as easily tossed around as I am.” I muttered. “Jimin could have stopped her if he really didn’t want to!”

Jin banged his fist against the wall, startling me. “No, he couldn’t! You could, but he couldn’t. He just has that kind of personality.”

“No!” I shouted, sudden tears streaming down my face. “He could! He could, Jin! He wanted to cheat on me. He’s tired of me and disappointed by me. I’m older and my hair’s turning grey and I’m gaining weight and he’s famous. He could have anyone, so why does he need me anymore? I’m not even a good wife! He doesn’t want me anymore, Jin. He doesn’t love me.”

Jin cupped my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s okay, love.”

“It’s not okay. He doesn’t want me anymore, Jin, I just know it.” I closed my eyes as tears leaked from them. Soon, I felt soft lips on my forehead.

“Jimin loves you. I promise. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. Trust me.” Jin wrapped his arms around me.

He held me and patted my back as I wept. Eventually, the flow of tears came to an end and I stepped back, wiping my nose on my sleeve. Jin tucked my hair behind my ears and led me into the dining room.

“I’m not hungry.” I protested. He handed me a chocolate bar.

“Sugar is good for you after you cry like that. Eat this and then go to sleep.”

“I can’t take your bed from you a second night!” I cried, unwrapping the candy and taking a bite.

“I’m not letting a pregnant woman sleep on the couch.” Jin said sternly.

I sighed at him. He sighed back at me.

“Fine. But just for tonight. I’ll figure something else out tomorrow.”

“You getting Haru tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Yeah. But I don’t know for how long. Jimin is insistent that she stays in the apartment, so either he’s leaving or I am. But I don’t want to stay there. It’d be too hard to be home and to have it so unhomelike.”

He hummed in agreement. “I’ll go get the bed ready. Don’t take too long. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

“It’s literally dinnertime, Jin. I’m fine.”

“You’re falling asleep at the table, sunshine. Go the hell to bed.”

“Fine!” I threw the rest of the candy bar on the table. “I’m tired. I’m so tired of everything that I could sleep for a hundred years.”

“Do it.”

I followed Jin into his bedroom and we flopped on to it together. He pulled the covers over us and gently took my hand in his.

“Jimin would kill me if he saw us like this right now.” He murmured.

“Oh, I don’t think he’d care.”

Jin snorted. “We’re in bed together and I’m holding your hand. I think he’d care.”

“Well, he doesn’t have the right to care anymore.” I turned and laid my head against Jin’s shoulder.

“He’s still your husband.” Jin reminded me softly.

I didn’t respond, so Jin gave up and my hair instead, probably trying to soothe me to sleep.

“Jin, why are you so nice to me?”

“We’re friends.” He replied easily.

“I feel like you’re going above and beyond the call of friendship for me right now.” I said wryly. “I’m sleeping in your bed and crashing your dates and weeping to you about my marriage troubles.”

“You’ve always wept to me about Jimin.” Jin continued to my hair. “Except when you two broke up and you moved back to Busan. I thought you two were really over then, seeing as how you cut off all contact with everyone.”

“Marriage was terrifying to me at that point. I couldn’t see myself marrying anyone, even Jimin.” I said, subdued.

“Why was marriage scary to you?” Jin whispered, turning so his chin rested on top of my head.

“This.” I spread my hands hopelessly. “What kind of commitment can really last this long? How is it possible to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life? And even if one person is faithful to the other, that doesn’t guarantee that both will be faithful.”

I paused for a moment, blinking back sudden tears. “I didn’t want to live long enough to see Jimin fall out of love with me.”

“Oh, sunshine.” Jin murmured sadly, pulling me close to him. “Don’t be so downhearted.”

“What if we get divorced?” I asked in a small voice. “What will I do? I’ll be all alone.”

Jin kissed my forehead. “You won’t be alone.” He promised, fingers ghosting over my skin. “I won’t let you be alone.”

NAMJOON’S POV

“Oh my god, Tae, shut up.” Ji Eun giggled from the living room of mine and Taehyung’s apartment.

Taehyung let out a deep laugh and then I could hear them kissing.

I crumpled the paper I held in my hand. How was I supposed to write lyrics when the girl I was in love with was out in my living room making out with my group member? How was anyone supposed to accomplish anything in that sort of situation?

Part of me wanted to storm out there and tell Taehyung that Ji Eun and I had kissed two weeks earlier, but I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted them to break up and for Ji Eun to come back to me.

Hours passed as I tried and failed to come up with lyrics for our new album. My inspiration came purely from the heartbreak I was experiencing, but our last few albums had been moody and I needed some happiness in my work.

I decided to venture out into the living room for a cup of coffee. Taehyung and Ji Eun had long since gone to bed. I tried to ignore the fact that they slept together, but on nights like this, it plagued me. I usually ended up remembering the last few months of mine and Ji Eun’s relationship, going over and over it in my mind. I always ended with our last fight, when she threw a book at me and stormed out passionately into the living room. I had quietly replaced the book on the shelf and went to sleep.

Apparently, according to Jimin, who found out from his wife, Taehyung and Ji Eun had started dating when I fell asleep that night. I woke up the next morning to find us wholly broken up, but I didn’t think much of it. Ji Eun was impulsive and we’d fought like this a hundred times before.

I’d just assumed she’d come back to me.

The kitchen was lonely, the linoleum floor cold beneath my feet. The irritating couple had left their dirty dishes in the sink, of course. Well, I wouldn’t clean up after them.

The gurgle of the coffee maker kept me occupied for a few minutes. I thought about Ji Eun and when she would keep me company on late nights like this. She’d sit up on the counter and swing her feet, grinning at me or picking her nails with a sassy attitude. Jimin said his wife was sassy, but I secretly believed she had nothing on Ji Eun.

I remembered coming home some nights to find Ji Eun lying on my bed, wearing my boxer shorts and a tight tank top. I liked those nights. We’d lay for hours in my bed, catching up and fooling around. She said she liked to surprise me in my bedroom at night because it made her feel like a teenager again. And because she liked to see my face when I walked into the room.

It’d been about seven months since she’d done anything like that.

I blew on my coffee on the way back to my bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, so I nudged it open with my foot and walked in, completely unaware of my surroundings as I took a sip of my coffee.

Swallowing, I looked up to see Ji Eun standing next to my desk, reading through my lyrics. Her face was drawn and she sifted a hand through a long strand of her hair. It had fallen slightly out of the messy bun at the back of her head. She looked sleepy and sad.

I stared at her for a while before I finally found my voice.

“What are you doing here?”

She started and looked up at me. “Ah, Joonie.”

“Are you okay?” I set my coffee down and leaned over to pick up the papers she’d been looking at. All of them were overly emotional lyrics about our breakup and how I was still obnoxiously in love with her.

She bent her head and traced her finger against the wooden surface of the desk. “I’m fine. Just feeling…” she glanced up at me, “sentimental.”

I grunted. “Why don’t you go and feel sentimental with your boyfriend?”

“Do you remember when you two first moved in here? Do you still have that thing I gave you?” Ji Eun her heel and went over to the windowsill. She pulled back the curtain and smiled when she saw the gold four-leaf clover dangling from the lock. She held it in the palm of her hand before turning back towards me.

“Keep this, okay?” She crossed the room and reached up on her tiptoes to pat my cheek. “Keep it and remember me.”

I suddenly placed my hands on the small of her back and leaned down to press a kiss against her lips. She moved beneath me, as if unconsciously, and looped her arms around my neck, fingers in my hair, pulling me ever closer.

I broke away and Ji Eun blinked slowly, long eyelashes fanning out against her cheeks before fluttering up to let her catch my gaze.

“Keep that and remember me.” I whispered.

She blinked, once, twice, before her fingers slowly trailed out of my hair and across my shoulders. They traced over my arms until she took my hands in hers.

“Do you still love me?” Ji Eun looked up at me, the slightest hint of a smile about . Was it there or was I just imagining things?

“What kind of game are you playing?” I asked in a low voice, my lips against her ear.

“I just want to know.” She whispered.

I straightened up and took Ji Eun’s face in my hands. “Yes. I still love you. Are you satisfied now?”

Ji Eun took a deep breath, expelling all of the air from her lungs before meeting my eyes again.

“Taehyung told me he loves me. Just a few hours ago, before he fell asleep.”

I stepped away and sat on the edge of the bed, my head dropping into my hands.

“Why are you telling me this?”

She crouched in front of me and rested her hands on my knees. “This is it, Joonie. This is the end for us.”

I looked up at her in surprise. “You’re in love with him?”

Ji Eun shrugged, a tiny lift of her shoulders. “I can fall in love with him.”

I scoffed. “Like love is that easy.”

She lifted a hand and ran it through my hair. “It was never easy with you.”

I reached down and lifted her up onto my lap, pushing her head down onto my shoulder. Ji Eun let out a soft, sweet little sigh that tickled my neck.

“Such a stubborn girl.” I murmured, idly playing with a lock of her hair.

“We weren’t good together.”

“We were great together.” I insisted, laying her out on the bed. She watched me through hooded eyes. “We were the best together. Best kisses, best , best fights. Worst time I ever had falling in love with a girl. You’re too damn stubborn.”

“You’re ist. And too into your own intelligence. And you’re never home and you don’t prioritize me and you’re always picking fights.” Ji Eun countered. “I love you, but I sure as hell don’t wanna marry you.”

Her words stung me, even though I knew they had a grain of truth in them. “You wanna marry Taehyung?”

She gave another shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never marry. But it doesn’t matter. I came in here to say goodbye.”

“What makes you think I’ll let you leave?” I moved to hover over her body, eyes burning down into hers.

“Because you love me.” Ji Eun said softly, reaching up to my cheek. “And I don’t belong here anymore.”

“Fine, go.” I flopped onto the bed next to her and let out a deep sigh. “Leave me, again. Break my heart, again. Let me know I’ll never be able to hold you or kiss you or whisper I love you ever again. Go marry someone else and have his children and grow old with him. It’s fine. I’m young, I’ll love again.”

She kissed my cheek and climbed off the bed. She shot me one last glance before closing the door behind her.

I could have sworn I saw regret lingering in her eyes, but maybe that was just my wishful thinking.