“Mama.” Haru snuggled up next to me on the couch. I’d gotten out of work super early and picked her up from daycare before lunch. Normally, I’d take that time to get some things done around the apartment, but I missed her. “Mama, I miss Daddy.”

“I know, sweetheart.” I patted her back gently. “I miss him, too.”

“We go to see Daddy?” Haru asked, looking up at me hopefully.

“Daddy’s at work, baby. We can’t see him yet.”

“When we see Daddy?” She pouted, her face so like Jimin’s that I had to hide a smile.

“After naptime.” I yawned. “Daddy’s coming home early today.”

I made lunch while Haru read books out loud to herself. I’d been trying to teach her to read, but she was too young and I was too eager. I couldn’t wait to share all of my favorite children’s books with her, but the girl couldn’t even pee in the toilet, much less read The Little Engine That Could.

I still worked for the same company I started at almost five years ago when I first moved to Seoul. I wrote articles for a couple of newspapers, but mostly I worked as an editor. A couple of years ago, before Jimin and I had married, I had published a book of poetry. Mostly reworked fragments from my ancient Jimin journal, but it had done pretty well in sales. It wasn’t a bestseller, but it wasn’t shabby. I’d given Jimin the first copy and he’d actually teared up.

“Haru, are you hungry? Lunch is ready.” I called from the kitchen.

Haru ran in eagerly, her little curls bouncing around her face. Her hair was a strange and fearsome animal. Sometimes she had these pretty little curls, but other times it was stick straight and bewildered me.

She held her hands out for me and I buckled her into her high chair.

“Mama, food! I hungry!” She screamed and slammed her fists on the tray.

“Excuse me, miss. You do not talk to your mother that way.”

“Sorry.” Haru apologized, looking contrite. “I sorry, Mama.”

I handed her a plate of scrambled eggs and some fresh peas.

I washed the dishes while Haru ate and we chatted about random things. She told me about daycare and all the friends she made there.

When my mother had found out Jimin and I had decided to send Haru to daycare, she immediately called me and lectured me for about half an hour. I was on the verge of tears when Jimin ripped the phone from my grasp and told my mother it was our decision and not to interfere. He hung up before she could say anything to him, and then kissed me and told me I was an amazing mother and Haru was lucky to have me.

I heard the front door opening and then Jimin yelling, “I’m home! Where are my beautiful girls?”

“In the kitchen!” I called back. Haru screamed in excitement, jumping up and down in her high chair.

“Daddy’s home! My daddy’s home!”

“Haru!” Jimin cried, swooping in and sprinkling her with a million kisses. “I missed you, sunflower!”

I cleared my throat pointedly. Jimin turned to me with a twinkle in his eye.

“I missed you, too, baby girl.” He backed me up against the counter and gave me a sweet kiss.

I continued washing the dishes while Jimin sat down next to Haru and coaxed her to eat.

“Mama made you scrambled eggs?” He cheered. “Can Daddy have a bite?”

Haru giggled and scooped up a bite of egg with her fingers and shoved it in Jimin’s mouth.

“Mmm, delicious.” Jimin his lips. Haru patted his lips with her tiny hand.

“Are you hungry, babe? I can cook you something.” I offered.

“What, scrambled eggs? Do you even know how to cook anything else?” He snickered.

“Shut your mouth.” I flicked his face with dishwater. “You’re so fu-”

“Fun.” Jimin interrupted, with a pointed look towards Haru. “I’m so fun.”

Haru was munching happily on her peas and not paying attention to us. She started to sing herself a little song as she ate.

“Happy birfday to me, happy birfday to meeee.”

“Aww, listen to our little singer. Growing up so well.” He kissed her temple. “Don’t worry, rose bloom. Daddy’s gonna get you the best vocal couch in South Korea.”

“Please do not push our daughter into stardom. Let her live a normal life.”

“She’s the daughter of a famous celebrity and a published author. She’s already in the spotlight.”

It was true. Jimin had already been asked to appear on a show with Haru, but we’d declined. We felt like she was too young for that sort of thing, and we’d rather spend his free time together than on a television show.

After lunch, Jimin put Haru down for her nap and we sat together on the couch. He put his arm around my shoulders and I sighed happily.

“How was work today? You’re home so early.”

“Ugh, dramatic. Apparently Tae thought it was a great idea to tell Namjoon about his and Ji Eun’s relationship right before practice. Now they’re fighting and we didn’t work on the choreography at all. It’s like we’re in high school or something.”

“But your concert is soon. Isn’t it only like two months away? You guys have to get on that.”

Jimin groaned. “I know. Baby, it’s so annoying. I’m tired of being an idol.”

“Are you?” I looked up at him in surprise. “I thought you loved it.”

“I do.” Jimin ran his fingers through my hair. “I just hate being away from you and Haru. I feel like I’m missing her best moments.”

“You’d be at work most of the time anyway, even with a different job. All you really miss some days is her sleeping. I miss stuff, too, since she’s at daycare when I’m at work.”

“Let’s just quit our jobs and stay at home.” Jimin nuzzled his nose into my neck.

“Haru would love that.”

“I wish money wasn’t a thing.” He murmured. “I wish we could just do whatever and be fine.”

“Jimin, this is the first time in my adult life that I’ve been financially stable. We’re fine, babe. Trust me.”

He swung his legs around and pinned me to the back of the couch, his body nestled firmly in my lap.

“You wanna get to work on making that second baby?” He asked, tugging at the collar of my shirt with impatient fingers.

I hesitated. Jimin felt the slight hitch in my throat as he pressed kisses against my neck; he looked up at me in concern. I read the look in his eyes and knew what the next words out of his mouth would be.

“You really don’t want another baby, do you?”

His voice was soft, teeth catching at his bottom lip, fingers shuffling through his shaggy hair.

I stole a kiss from his reluctant lips. He cradled me as I leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Honey, if we’re going to get pregnant, I don’t want it to be like last time.”

“Last time was perfect.” Jimin murmured, placing kisses along my jawline. “Haru is perfect. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

I gently pushed him away and sat back against the couch.

“Me neither, but I would like to plan for this baby. I’d like to go to the gynecologist and actually make time to try and get pregnant, instead of just messing around in the dark at your parents’ house with no condoms. I need to get off my birth control and that’s gonna with my hormones. I wanna figure out if we should move or not, if we have the money for a new baby. I would like to interview nannies or find infant daycare.”

“No infant daycare.” Jimin said firmly. “I’d rather the baby be here in the house with someone trustworthy.”

“Good, me too.” I let out a sigh of relief. “I’d like to find someone recommended, but none of our friends are parents.”

“Let’s seriously ask Tae. He knows a lot of nannies, and none of them are evil or bad with children.”

“I feel bad for Namjoon.” I said, suddenly thinking of Ji Eun. “And Gemma.”

“Gemma left Tae.” Jimin reminded me as he kissed down my neck. “To move to France.”

“I know. I just feel bad for her. They dated for three years. It must have been hard for her.” I cleared my throat as Jimin a hickey onto my skin.

“A very awkward breakup for me.” He rustled me out of my shirt before I even realized what he was doing. “My two best friends suddenly hated each other.”

“Gemma never hated Tae.” I said softly.

“That girl just never knew how to settle down.” Jimin murmured.

“Opening a coffeshop was her dream for years. I don’t blame her for breaking up with him.” I patted his cheek as he glanced up into my eyes.

“Shh. I’m trying to have with you. Stop bringing up the past.” He put a hand over my mouth.

Something sharp stabbed me in the back and I cried out in pain. Jimin immediately climbed off of me, reaching behind me to catch the offending object. He pulled out a robot of Haru’s, a slight grimace on his face.

“I love being a dad, but sometimes I wish we had had a little time to just be married. We barely got a honeymoon because you were all sick and your s were tender.”

“Our lost youth. It was so fleeting.” I sighed mournfully. Jimin plopped down next to me, tinkering around with Haru’s robot.

“At least we got to live together for a year.” He said quietly. “You know? At least we had that.”

“It’s not the same as being married. I feel like I never got a chance to be your wife before I became the mother of your child.”

“You’re a great wife.” Jimin slung an arm around my shoulders. “The best wife. So pretty and y. So young and smart.”

“Yeah, enjoy this youthful appearance while it lasts. I’ll be thirty soon.”

“Thirty’s still young.”

“I know.” I replied casually. “It was the age I’d thought I’d become a mom.”

“Haru will be five by the time you’re thirty.”

“Shush, shush.” I pressed a finger to his lips. “I don’t like to think of her getting older. I just want time to freeze right now. Everything’s so perfect.”

“I love you.” Jimin said softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now.” He glanced at me and I smiled at him. “I’ve been thinking that since I met you. I couldn’t remember being happier than those moments, but each day with you I’m just more and more in love. Everyone says life is hard, but with you, it’s the easiest thing in the world.”

I pushed his face away as he went in for a kiss. “You cheeseball. That was so nauseatingly cheesy that I want to crawl out of my skin. I’ve got goosebumps, for real.”

Jimin huffed. “These are my sincere feelings.”

I started to giggle. “I know. It makes it even worse. You’re not even trying to get into my pants because we’ve been married and we’ve got a kid. You’re genuinely so in love with me.”

He pulled my cheek, really hard. “You’re so ing lucky, you ungrateful bunch of sass.” He growled. “You know how many husbands don’t love their wives?”

“You better still love me. We’ve only been married for three years.”

Jimin took my hand and slid off my wedding ring. He took off his own and gently placed them on the coffee table before holding his left hand up next to mine. I knew what he wanted to see.

“I still think your heart tattoo looks cuter than mine.” He pouted, examining mine closer.

“Jimin, they’re the exact same.” I took his hand in mine and looked at his fingers. I loved Jimin’s hands.

“The tattoo artist ed up on mine.” He grumbled.

“Because you were a baby and couldn’t handle the pain.” I said mockingly. He flicked my forehead.

“Is it bad that I like our matching heart tattoos more than I like our weddings rings?” Jimin asked, intertwining our fingers.

“Nah. I like ‘em better, too.” I replied, snuggling into his side. He kissed my hair.

Jimin and I had eloped after we found out I was pregnant. He’d still had a couple of weeks left of vacation, so we hopped on a plane to Italy and got married in an old cathedral, just the two of us. Just like I had always wanted. Neither of us was Roman Catholic, but I’d cried and bewildered the priest, so he’d made an exception for us. That, and Jimin had presented the priest with a very sizeable sum of money for the offering. We didn’t bribe the priest, per say, but we definitely didn’t convert.

It was perfect.

I was wearing Timberlands, ripped jeans, and an old Stussy shirt of Jimin’s. Jimin almost matched me, but he had on a Supreme hoodie. Jimin had planned on marrying me in Italy, as a surprise, so he’d filled out a marriage license for us before we left Seoul. But he hadn’t planned for me to ruin the surprise by pulling him into a cathedral while we were walking along the streets and asking if he wanted to marry me right then.

He had.

When we got back from the supermarket the day we got engaged, I took five pregnancy tests. All of them had shown up positive. Jimin cried because he was so happy. He kept pinching himself and whispering, “This can’t be real.” I cried for a different reason. I didn’t feel ready to become a mother, barely wrapping my mind around the concept of becoming a wife. But when Jimin looked at me with those tender eyes of his, I knew it would be okay.

He had cradled my face in his hand, warm fingers splaying out over my cheek.

“Hey. Hey, baby.” He’d whispered. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“I can’t do this.” I’d choked out, trembling. Jimin had pulled me into his arms and my hair, whispering soothing words until I’d calmed down.

“Yes, you can. I’m here. We can do this, baby girl.”

“I’m so scared.” I had whispered, face pressed into his chest. “None of this felt real until I saw those two lines.”

“We’re going to be just fine.” Jimin had promised.

And we were. A week later we were married, impulsively dropping into a cathedral during our trip to Italy. We didn’t have any wedding rings and neither of us spoke Latin so we didn’t understand the priest’s words at all, but the only kind of vow I needed was the look in Jimin’s eyes as he stood across from me, his hands in mine.

We left the cathedral positively giddy, kissing in broad daylight. Jimin had picked me up and spun me around, shouting, “This is my wife!” I kissed him to shut him up, but the truth was that I could have listened to him say those words over and over again.

I’d left my engagement ring at home, afraid that I would lose it, so Jimin had the idea of getting matching tattoos on our ring fingers to show that we were married. Our little secret sign before we announced it to everyone.

 We’d argued about what to get, but finally settled on little hearts. Jimin had wanted our initials, but I said I didn’t want the tattoo poking out above my ring. And that I wasn’t changing my family name, so he could just get that idea out of his head. He’d responded flippantly, ruffling my hair and saying, “Doesn’t matter. You’re mine now, anyway.”

When we got home, we announced our engagement to our friends and family. My parents had brimmed over with disapproval, so I didn’t even mention the pregnancy. His parents had been ecstatic and his mom had immediately started discussing wedding plans with me. Jimin and I had agreed to keep our elopement a secret. We didn’t want to disappoint his parents, but we had wanted our real wedding to be just the two of us. No malicious whispers saying we had gotten married just because I was pregnant.

I’d married him because I wanted to be his wife.

We had a small ceremony, both families in attendance, although mine came under protest. We had it quickly, so I wasn’t showing. Jimin and I had told his parents that I was pregnant before the ceremony, but they were understanding, for the most part, anyway. We didn’t have a bridal party, but BTS and Jimin’s other friends from home attended, as well as my friends.

It was nice. My dress was beautiful, all tulle and lace, and Jimin looked really y in a tux, but I preferred my real wedding.

“What are you thinking about?” Jimin’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Our wedding.” I blinked, breaking out of my reverie.

“Which one?” He slid my ring back onto my finger before replacing his own.

“The real one.”

“Ah, so not the one where I shoved cake in your face and the icing got stuck to your eyelashes.”

I shoved him. “No, , not that one.”

Jimin let out a high-pitched giggle and I fell deeper in love.

“What do you wanna do while Haru’s sleeping? How should we spend our rare moment alone in the afternoon?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I vote for .” Jimin answered instantly, placing his hand on my thigh. “Look, you’ve already got your shirt off.”

“Okay, but can we make it quick? I’m almost done with my book and it’s a pivotal moment.”

Jimin scoffed. “Is reading more important than your husband?”

I sighed. “I wish I could read during .”

Jimin smacked my thigh. “Stop this. You’re only twenty-eight. Where did your drive go? You used to be so hot for me.”

“I’m still hot for you, babe.” I stood and took his hand, leading him into the bedroom. He smacked my and I giggled. He shushed me, a smile playing on his lips.

“Don’t wake up Haru.” He whispered.

“Where’s Yukon?” I asked, suddenly remembering.

Jimin smiled. “He fell asleep in Haru’s room, right next to her crib. Those two are so precious. My heart melts every time.”

“You’re precious.” I kissed his nose. He pushed me into the bedroom and closed the door behind us, a huge smirk on his face.

I loved that smirk.