JIMIN’S POV

I woke up one night to my wife clutching onto me and whispering, “Don’t leave, Jimin, don’t leave.” I sighed and rubbed a hand over my sleepy self. This was the third time this week she’d had this nightmare.

I called her name loudly two or three times before she woke up with a start.

“What’s goin’ on?” She mumbled, patting my body as she tried to discern her surroundings.

“You’re dreaming that I left you.” I told her, carding my fingers through her tangled hair.

“Again?” She yawned and cuddled close to me.

“Again.” I confirmed. “What is up with you?”

“Hormones.” She yawned into my shirt, drooling as she did so. “Hormones and probably eating ice cream before bed every night for a week.”

“Or you’re really afraid that I’m going to leave you.” I pulled her on top of me and kissed her, once, twice.

She nestled her head against my shoulder and nuzzled sleepily against me. “’M tired.”

“I’m gonna be up the rest of the night worried that you feel no sense of security with me if we don’t talk about this.”

“Hormones, ChimChim.” She whispered into my neck.

“Don’t call me that.” I grumbled against her hair. I caught a couple of strands in my mouth and fished them out, coughing.

“But Young Jae calls you that and it’s too adorable.” She whined. “God, I’m so tired. Don’t you know you shouldn’t wake up a pregnant woman?”

“You were having a nightmare.” I moved her to the side of me. I liked when she slept on me, but the added weight kind of made it hard to breathe sometimes.

I waited for a grumpy response, but she had already fallen asleep. Her chest rose and fell with the soft, even breath of sleep.

“Damn it.” I pushed my bangs out of my eyes, exasperated.

I stayed up for hours wondering about my wife’s recurring nightmares of my disloyalty. By the time I fell asleep, the sun had begun to peek over the horizon.

“Jimin, wake up!” My wife pushed me out of the bed. “Damn it, this is the fifth time I’ve woken you up. Why the hell are you so tired?”

“Whaaaaat?” I whined, head in my hands. I sat on the floor with my legs sprawled out, sleep-addled and disoriented. “I’m sleepin’.”

“It’s ten! You can’t sleep anymore! Haru is late for school!” She nudged me with her foot as she struggled to fit into her jeans. “Wake up!”

“Why aren’t you at work yet?” I rubbed my tired eyes and gazed up at her.

“I have to travel today to talk to an author in person. I’ll be home late, so I decided to go in later. But this is much later than I had anticipated.”

“Can you take Haru to school?”

She ignored me as her phone rang with an unfamiliar jangle. Had she changed her ringtone?

“Hello? Ah, yes. No, we’ll be there soon. Oh.” She paused, pursing her lips. “Oh, alright. No, I completely understand, it’s my fault for being late. Yes, see you.”

She hung up the phone with an attitude.

“Haru’s school called to say we can’t bring her in because we’re late for the field trip.”

“Field trip? What field trip?” I ran my hands over my face again.

“I don’t know.” She said shortly, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She rarely wore it like this. I took a moment to admire the view before she looked down at me, unspoken annoyance in her eyes. “You have to watch Haru today.”

“I can’t. I have to go to the studio.” I protested, suddenly alert.

“Well, I can’t take her. I have to meet this author! He hates children and I can’t this up. He’s incredibly prestigious. Take her to the studio with you.”

I sighed and leaned against the bed. “I’ll get nothing done if she’s there. I love her, but every time I take Haru to the studio she breaks something or has a meltdown in the middle of the cafeteria. Every time.”

“I am not about to have an argument with you about who is taking our daughter like we are some bitter, divorced couple who doesn’t love their kid. I cannot take Haru today or I will get fired. We cannot afford for me to get fired, especially since we’re moving and moving is expensive. Please, take her with you.”

“Fine.” I held up my hands. “I’ll take her with me.”

She gave me a quick kiss and practically ran from the apartment, missing my annoyed grumbling.

Haru caused trouble in the studio, as usual. I found her really cute when she tried on my headphones and attempted to rap into the microphone, but not quite as cute when she snapped Yoongi’s expensive headphones in half. I didn’t even know when she got that strong, but Yoongi was not amused. Needless to say, we didn’t get a lot of work done that day until Haru fell asleep on the couch, my sweatshirt draped over her as a blanket.

I took a picture of Haru and uploaded it to my Instagram. My wife liked it and I smiled to myself. I called her, ignoring Namjoon’s pointed glare. Didn’t I deserve five minutes to myself after a long day of working in the studio and taking care of my rambunctious baby?

She didn’t answer, so I tried calling again a few minutes later. I wanted to see if we could all meet up for dinner and maybe check out the new apartment. The workers were almost finished updating the appliances and I wanted to see how it looked.

I tried to call my wife a dozen times, but she never answered. I waited for a couple of hours, almost until the end of Haru’s naptime, before my phone finally rang. Namjoon shot me yet another irritated glance as the jarring ringtone interrupted his sentence. I shrugged and dug my phone out of my jeans pocket.

I didn’t recognize the number, but I’d noticed that the last couple of times I’d called, my wife’s phone had gone straight to voicemail. Maybe her phone had died and she was calling me from another number.

“Hey, baby, is that you?”

“Hi, Mr. Park? Am I speaking to Park Jimin?” An unfamiliar female voice spoke to me from the other end of the line.

“Yes, this is he.” I replied. Who on earth was calling me?

“I’m Doctor Seo from Seoul National University Hospital. I’m sorry to say that your wife has been involved in an accident.”

“An accident? What kind of an accident?” I asked, panic rising in my throat. “What happened?”

“A minor car accident. I really must ask you to come as soon as possible.”

“A car accident? She wasn’t even driving today. She took the subway. I don’t understand.”

“I think it would be better to discuss the situation in person, Mr. Park.”

“Is she okay?” I demanded. “I need to know if she’s okay.”

“Her condition is stable, but I advise you to come immediately.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I said quietly. “Please take care of her.”

I hung up the phone with shaky fingers, then dialed Jin’s number.

“Hey, Jimin, can I call you back in two seconds?” He asked as soon as he answered, sounding preoccupied.

“My wife’s in the hospital.” I said quickly, rushing to explain before he hung up. “I don’t know what’s wrong. Please, can you pick up Haru from the studio and take care of her? You can take her home or to your apartment, it doesn’t matter to me. Please, please. You’re the only one I trust to take care of her like this. Oh, , can you actually take her home? I forgot about Yukon. He needs to go out and be fed. He can’t be left alone for long hours at a time or he gets really sad and won’t come out from under the couch.”

“Of course.” Jin immediately agreed. “Let me know what’s going on as soon as you can.”

“Thank you.” I pushed the button to end the call and leaned against the wall and sighed. I knew I needed to go to the hospital, but I felt scared. Scared that everything in our lives was about to change for the worse.

What if this was my last moment of normal?

The ride to the hospital was brief and panic-stricken. My lip began to bleed as I gnawed it, trying to keep myself from throwing up.

When the doors to the hospital opened automatically in front of me, I rushed in, then stopped abruptly, confused. Where the hell was I supposed to go? I didn’t even know where she was or what kind of accident she’d been involved in.

I ran up to the front desk and waited impatiently in line, bouncing on the balls of my feet to keep myself from pushing past people and demanding to know where they were keeping my wife.

“Hi, my name’s Park Jimin and I’m looking for my wife.” I told the gentleman at the desk. He stared at me blankly before I remembered to give him my wife’s name.

“Third floor, room number 326.”

I hadn’t been to the hospital since Haru had been born. The elevator smelled weird and clean. I wanted to get off. I wanted to go home and curl up in a ball of blankets and pretend that none of this had happened.

A doctor intercepted me before I could get into her room.

“Mr. Park?” She asked politely.

“Yes.” I nodded, glancing past her at the door to my wife’s room.

“Please, take a seat.” She gestured to the plastic chairs lined up against the wall. I pushed my hair back impatiently, trying not to push her aside and barge into my wife’s room. “You can’t see her just yet, Mr. Park. I’m afraid there’s some things we must discuss.”

I took a seat. “What kind of things?” I asked, leaning forward so my elbows rested on my knees. “What happened?”

“Your wife was hit by a car while crossing the street. She didn’t see it coming and the car couldn’t swerve in time.” The doctor said bluntly. “She was hit from the side and fell onto the pavement, the blow rendering her unconscious for about thirty minutes. She sustained several injuries, but we’re mainly concerned about the baby.”

I held up my hands, rapidly blinking as I struggled to process the onslaught of information.

“What? Is she…is she awake? Can I talk to her?”

“Yes, but I don’t know how well she’ll respond to you. We have her on a drip at the moment to dull the pain.”

“What’s…what’s the matter with the baby?”

Doctor Seo pursed her lips before speaking. “We’re concerned that your wife may now have a high-risk pregnancy. We’ll be conducting more tests and x-rays to full understand the extent of her injuries, but we won’t know until at least twenty-four hours, possibly thirty-six. If the baby survives those thirty-six hours, then we can reestablish whether or not the pregnancy will be high-risk and if your wife needs to spend the rest of her pregnancy in bed.”

I bit my lip, causing it to bleed again. “I don’t understand. Is the baby in danger?”

“Any accident like this is a danger to the pregnancy.” The doctor said quietly. “We just have to wait and see.”

“Can I see her?”

“Yes. Keep in mind that your wife looks much worse than she actually is, Mr. Park. Please prepare yourself. Don’t upset her, she’s feeling very fragile right now and her mood is very important for the baby. You can’t upset her, understand? Go in, say some soothing words. Just relax her, okay?”

“Okay.” I said in a quiet voice, feeling very far from relaxed myself.

When I stepped in the room, I took in a quiet gasp of air. My wife’s eyes snapped to me from her position on the bed. The bruises on her skin looked garishly purple and blue against the pristine white of the hospital sheets. She looked horrible and I felt my heart break as she smiled at me.

“Jimin.” She whispered in a hoarse voice.

I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine. “Hey, love. How are you feeling?”

“Super ty.” She grinned, then coughed. “I got hit by a car, did you know that?”

“Yeah.” I squeezed her hand. “What the were you doing that you didn’t see it coming?”

She laughed, a quiet, ironic little laugh. “I was liking your Instagram picture.”

“Haru’s with Jin.” I kissed her fingers. “I love you, you know?”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry, Jimin.” He eyes filled with tears. “I’m so, so sorry for being so careless.”

“Shh, shh, love. Don’t say a word. It’s not your fault. We’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. She winced and I felt my heart break a little bit more.

Her lower lip trembled and the tears began to cascade down her cheeks. “Jimin, what if I lose the baby? Or what if I’m bedridden the rest of my pregnancy and we can’t move and you have to take care of me and Haru and can’t produce your solo album or go on tour? What if that happens?”

“Hush, baby, hush.” I brushed her hair back from her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except that you are healthy.”

“But what about the baby?” She whispered.

I gazed down at her for a long moment. “The baby will be fine, my love. You just need to relax. Stop crying, stop stressing.”

“I don’t want to ruin our lives.”

“You are my life. As long as you are safe, I know we will make it through anything.”

“I want the baby to be okay.” She murmured, looking down at our intertwined hands.

“I do, too. I love you.”

She drifted off to sleep and I started to cry. She looked so small and fragile and…broken. I placed my hand on her stomach and softly ran my thumb against the slightly swollen bump. I didn’t want to lose either of them. I knew we could always try to have another baby, but I couldn’t take such a flippant attitude towards the little life growing inside my wife. This was our baby, and I wanted her or him to arrive safely into this world.

I leaned my head against the back of the chair and swiped a hand across my eyes.

I wanted to rewind back to last night, when was in the midst of a nightmare. I would wake her up again and snuggle her and tell her I loved her again and again. I wouldn’t let her leave the apartment in the morning and we would spend the day with Haru, all snuggled up on the couch, watching television and reading books.

I didn’t want to be here, in this uncomfortable hospital room, crying and wondering about the way our lives would turn out.