JIMIN’S POV

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Jungkook asked as he peeked over my shoulder. I held my phone in my hand, eyes glued to the screen as a jealous rage swept over me. “Are you on Insta? Is that your wife? Aw, Haru looks cute!”

I swallowed hard. We were backstage getting ready before a performance and I was trying very hard to keep my cool.

“Who’s that guy?” Jungkook asked curiously. “He’s good looking. Oh, is he that model that your wife’s friends with?”

I choked. Jungkook clapped me on the back as I struggled to recover my breath. “She’s…” I took a deep breath. “She’s friends with a model?”

“Oh yeah. I thought you knew.” He shrugged and plopped down next to me, snatching my phone from my hands. “Do you even follow your wife on Instagram? She’s posted at least ten pictures with him. She’s kissing his cheek in at least three of them.”

He scrolled through until he reached said pictures. I recognized Byun Woo Seok as the recipient of my wife’s cheek kisses.

“Oh, him. Yeah, they’re friends. He did some work for her publishing house a couple of times.”

“What does a publishing house need a model for?” Jungkook muttered absentmindedly, perusing through her feed until he reached her most recent picture. The picture that made my blood boil. “Your wife sure looks cozy with this guy. But he doesn’t look like that model.”

Jungkook turned to me and caught sight of my murderous expression. “Damn, who is he? Why do you hate him so much?”

I ground my teeth in irritation. “That’s her ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh, Tae Joon?” Jungkook grinned at me. “They’re just friends, man. But she hates his guts, I thought.”

“Not that ex-boyfriend.” I snatched my phone back and glared at the picture. “This is my former best friend. Ex-playboy and ex-love of my wife’s. He confessed his love right before we got married.”

“Oh, that guy. Taehyung hates him, too. Didn’t he screw around with Gemma?”

“Yeah.” I said shortly, still staring at the picture. I hoped if I wished Young Jae enough ill-thoughts he would die.

“Isn’t she on bedrest? Why’s she out with Haru and Young Jae? And, aww, look at Yukon. God, he’s so adorable. You have the most precious family.”

“Shut the up.” I snarled, completely losing my temper. “Don’t you think I ing know that? You think I need you to tell me? I love my family, you know!”

“Wow, you.” Jungkook brushed me off and walked away, muttering under his breath about touchy people should just take naps.

I dialed my wife’s number and held the phone to my ear. We hadn’t talked in days, not since we fought. I’d gotten a weepy message from her, but she didn’t answer when I called her back. I hadn’t tried again and neither had she.

“Jimin?” She answered tentatively.

“Why the are you out with Young Jae?!” I shouted into the phone, fingers curling into a fist.

“What? Why are you yelling at me?”

“You know how I feel about him! Why the hell are you hanging around him? You’re supposed to be on bedrest!” I paced the room in agitation, ignoring the stares of the staff and my members.

“Stop yelling at me!” She shouted back at me. “We went to the goddamn park, Jimin! Okay? We went to the park because Haru was crying that she missed you and Young Jae was at your parents’ because they invited him over for lunch. What is your ing problem?”

“What’s my problem? What’s my problem?” I repeated in disbelief. “I don’t like him. I don’t like you with him. And I sure as hell don’t like seeing pictures of the four of you like you’re some happy little ing family. What, I’m gone for a week and you suddenly forget you’re my wife?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” She spat. “You mad because you’re not here? Because I’m taking pictures with a friend and you suddenly feel like I’m replacing you? When are you going to grow out of this jealousy, Jimin? When are you going to ing grow up?”

I scoffed. “Oh, that’s easy for you to say. Little miss perfect, little miss ‘I’m so secure of my husband’s love for me that I never get jealous.’ You have no idea what I’m feeling right now.”

“You think I never get jealous?” She raised her voice, a high-pitched shout coming from . “You think I don’t know how you feel? It’s worse for me, Jimin, because you actually love something else more than me. I’m ing jealous of your career, Jimin. Your passion, your dream. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that? You think I don’t know how you feel? You don’t know how I feel. Do you know what it’s like to beg the person you love to stay with you and they still leave? You left me for your career, Jimin. You wanna act all insecure and unhappy because you’re afraid I’m gonna replace you, fine. Just know you brought that on yourself.”

I didn’t say anything in response, just kicked a trash can next to the door. My manager was hissing at me to get off the phone and shut the up before the staff said something to reporters, but I ignored her.

“Happy anniversary, by the way.” My wife said quietly.

I heard the click of the dial tone and then there was nothing.

I cursed loudly and chucked my phone to the floor, where it smashed. The screen lit up to show my wife and Haru’s smiling faces, then went black.

No one said anything for a solid minute. I stood there staring at my phone until Jin came over and touched my shoulder. I flinched, but he hugged me.

“Don’t touch me.” I tried to shove him away, but he pulled me tighter.

“I’m sorry, Jimin.” He said softly, rubbing my back. “I’m sorry.”

“I said, don’t touch me!” I shouted and pushed him away, hard. He stumbled back and I watched as a hurt expression crossed his face.

“Jimin, you need to calm down.” My manager spoke soothingly to me, holding out a glass of water. “You have a performance in fifteen minutes.”

“ the performance!” I cried. “ everything! My marriage is falling apart and you want me to go out there and sing and dance like everything ing A-Okay? I can’t do that. I want to go home and I want to talk to my wife.”

She set down the water, then put her hands on my shoulders and looked me steadily in the eyes. I tried to back away, but she tightened her grip and spoke seriously to me. I took a few steadying breaths until the animalistic urge to punch someone had faded to a dull throbbing.

“Jimin, if you don’t calm down and get into hair and makeup in two minutes, you can kiss your career goodbye. No solo career, no BTS. You will never stand on that stage again. Is that what you want? Can you give that up?”

“My wife is going to leave me.” I told her. “If I stay, I’m going to lose my family.”

Her face softened in sympathy. “Are you sure?”

“I just screamed at her. We’re not coming back from that.” I sighed and pressed the heel of my palms into my eyes. I wasn’t about to cry in front of all these people. “I’ve probably already lost her.”

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that.” My manager ruffled my hair. “Relax, Jimin. Go out there and do your thing and we’ll get you a new phone afterwards.”

“She didn’t want me to come in the first place.” I mumbled, swiping at my eyes. “She begged me not to go. She was crying and and she just looked so…so abandoned when I walked out the door. It’s our wedding anniversary today and I wasn’t even planning on calling her because we just keep on fighting, but I’m just so goddamn jealous. God, she’s mine, she’s mine. She’s been mine for so ing long, but I’m losing her, I can feel her slipping away from me. I wake up in the morning and I look at her sleeping and I wonder if she still loves me. We’re having a baby, you know? She’s due in July and I still haven’t finished packing up our apartment. I’m so ty at this family thing. I can’t do it. I can’t be an idol and be a dad.”

“Jimin, buddy, you’ve got to get it together. We’re going on soon.” Namjoon clapped me on the back. “I know you’re having a tough time, but your wife loves you. Also, it’s not your wedding anniversary today.”

“You don’t know.” I shrugged him off.

“Jimin, you need to make a choice.” My manager interrupted. “You can leave now and hop on a flight back to Korea, but consider your contract terminated. You wanna take a hiatus, fine, but not right before a performance. Get yourself together and get on that stage and do a damn good job.”

I nodded and pushed my hair back from my face. “Alright.”

“You’re gonna finish this tour, okay? Whatever’s going on with you and your wife, you can resolve it afterwards. We’ll get you a phone and a few hours to yourself, but not right now.”

“Okay.” I said softly, swallowing.

HER POV

“Sweetheart, why are you crying?” Jimin’s mother asked me. I sat at the kitchen table, sobbing. I’d just gotten off the phone with Jimin. She took a seat next to me and gently rubbed my back.

“Ji-Jimin is ma-mad at me.” I moaned, burying my head in my arms. I slumped against the tabletop, my tears creating little rivulets against the tablecloth.

“Why is he mad at you?” She brushed a lock of hair back from my forehead.

“Yo-Young Jae. He ha-hates him. He was yelling at me. He’s never yelled at me like that before.” I gladly took the tissue Mrs. Park offered and blew my nose with reckless abandon. “I knew I shouldn’t have hung out with Young Jae. I just wa-wanted Haru to stop crying.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Mrs. Park my hair. “I know it’s hard. You’re a young mom, you know. You both are so young. Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. I know it is. Mr. Park and I have had our issues and you and Jimin will have yours. It’s just a matter of working through it.”

“I just feel like such a terrible wife.” I took in a hiccupping breath. “I can’t support him. I hang out with a guy he hates. I don’t wanna make up with him when he’s trying to apologize. I want to be a better wife. But I’m having…I’m having such a hard…a hard time.”

Mrs. Park patted my back as I made an effort to stop crying.

“I’m proud of him, you know? I’m proud that he’s made such a career for himself, but I wish he was here more often. Or you know, not making a solo album right at this exact second. Maybe once the baby is born, or even when the baby’s one. Is that selfish of me?” I turned to look at her, tears and mucus all over my face. She pushed my bangs back from my forehead and offered me a small smile.

“I wouldn’t call it selfish, sweetheart. Being a mother is hard, I know. And it’s even harder to do it alone.” She shifted her weight and sighed softly before continuing. “Jimin has wanted this for a long time. He’s given up so much for it. His father and I have hardly spent time with him since he became a trainee. I understand what you’re feeling. It’s hard to make a family with someone like that.”

“It is, right? I’m not being silly?”

“No, no. It’s hard. It was hard for me when Jimin’s father worked late at the restaurant and I had to take care of Jimin by myself.” Mrs. Park leaned back in her chair. “Have you thought about hiring some help?”

“We’ve talked about it. But I don’t know if I feel comfortable, you know? I barely feel comfortable sending Haru to daycare. And Jimin’s famous and everything, you know? Where would I even start?”

“I could help you guys. You know? If we closed the restaurant for a couple of months and rented an apartment near you two? We could do that for you. We love you.”

“We love you, too.  But I can’t ask you to do that. I’ll talk it over with Jimin.”

Mrs. Park kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you go take a nap, sweetheart? You look exhausted.”

“Who looks exhausted?” Young Jae’s booming voice rang out as he sauntered into the living room, a giggling Haru on his hip. He turned to me and looked me up and down. “Wow, you do. Maybe you should take a nap.”

“I’m not tired.” Haru whined. “I don’t wanna nap.”

“Aw, precious, no one’s asking you to take a nap.” Young Jae rubbed his nose against hers and Haru cracked up. “Goodness, you’re adorable.”

“I know.” Haru said matter-of-factly, tossing her curls.

“You’re a delight.” Young Jae turned his beaming smile down to me. “Maybe I’ll have one of these. You think I could do it?”

“You make an excellent uncle, at least.” I grinned at him. He reached down and thumbed a tear from my cheek. “She does need a nap, actually.”

“Why don’t you go relax?” Young Jae suggested gently. “We’ve got this. Right, Haru? We’ve got this.” He held up his hand for a high-five and she smacked it.

“I’m okay. There’s only so much relaxing I can do.” I shrugged him off. “You don’t have to stay, you know. It’s fine.”

“It’s okay. We’re having fun.” He tousled my hair. “Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t mind.” I rested my head on the back of the chair. Mrs. Park murmured something in a soft voice to Young Jae. He patted her shoulder and left the room with Haru in his arms.

“He’s right, you know.” Jimin’s mom said to me. “All this stress is not good for the baby.”

“You’re right.” I patted my stomach. “God, this pregnancy . I wanted it to be full of good feelings and Jimin singing to my belly like it was with Haru, but I feel like I just cry and mope around all of the time.”

“It’ll get better.” She comforted me.

“Or not.” I sighed and pushed away from the table.

I went upstairs, wondering if I should try to take a nap. I didn’t want to sleep anymore. I just wanted to snuggle with my husband. Maybe we’d snuggle when he got home.

Or maybe he’d serve me divorce papers. Who knew?

I laid down in bed and pulled the blankets over my body. I could hear Young Jae giggling with Haru from my in-laws bedroom. She cried eventually, not wanting to sleep, but he soothed her until she fell asleep.

I stirred at a knock on the doorframe. I looked over to see Young Jae smiling at me.

“Mind if I join?”

“Um, yes. I do mind.” I raised my eyebrows pointedly.

“You mind, or Jimin minds?” Young Jae cocked his head at me.

“You can’t join me.” I refused him once more.

Young Jae ignored me and hopped onto the bed. He threw his arm around my shoulder and rested a hand on my stomach.

“Boundaries, Young Jae! C’mon, you can’t just lay next to a pregnant married woman and touch her stomach.” I laughed and pushed him away. “Seriously, Young Jae. You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re so cute.” He chucked me under the chin and started to play with his phone.

“I know.” I laid back against the pillows and pulled out my phone. Still no text messages or missed phone calls from Jimin. Was he performing? Or was he seriously so angry at me that he wouldn’t try to call me again?

Was it stupid of me to expect him to call me again?

“Why do you look so sad?” Young Jae asked, his mouth close to my ear. I jumped a little in surprise.

“I’m not sad.” I denied, scooching a bit away from him.

“You look like you’re about to cry.” He rested a hand in my hair.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“I have heard you cry like that three times before.” Young Jae informed me as he pulled me close to kiss my hair. “And each time, you were crying because of Jimin.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re in love.”

“I seem to recall telling you I would kick his if he ever broke your heart again.”

“You’re too close.” I shrugged his arm off and to my side. “Being married is hard.”

“Would you have married him if you weren’t pregnant?” Young Jae asked quietly, seriously.

“Yeah.” I mumbled. “But not so soon.”

“He said you guys got married because you wanted to.”

“We did.” I said softly, remembering. “I proposed to him, actually. It just felt right. Sudden, but I wanted it. I wanted him. I still do.”

I closed my eyes and tried to remember how Jimin had looked the moment I’d proposed to him. So sweetly surprised. Messy hair, wide smile curving across his face. So young and beautiful and in love.

“I miss him.” I whispered. “I miss him a lot.”

“He’ll be home soon.” Young Jae patted my head with his heavy hand.

“That’s not what I mean.” I turned and rested my forehead on Young Jae’s hip. “We’re not the same anymore.”

“You will be.” He reassured me, dragging his thumb across my eyebrow. “Sweet girl, how could he not love you?”

“You should go.” I sighed through my nose and buried my face in the pillow. “Jimin doesn’t like us hanging out.”

“Alright.” He leaned his tall body down to kiss my cheek. “I’ll be in touch, though, okay? I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” I insisted. “I’m a big girl.”

Young Jae gently closed the door as he left. I took off my wedding rings and placed them on the bedside table, burrowing into the covers. Thoughts of our wedding day four years earlier came to me as I examined the little heart tattoo on my ring finger. I wondered if Jimin was thinking about me, if he was still upset. I felt sorry for the things I had said to him.

I kept wanting to tell him I loved him, but other things kept getting in the way.

I picked up my phone and pressed his number, biting my lip as I heard the dial tone pick up.

“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is not currently in service.”