It was the next day. The entire dorm was filled with a thick and unrelenting tension as they began breakfast. So far, Xiumin, Luhan and Lay hadn't made an appearance. Neither had Tao, but that boy was always late so it wasn't unexpected. They all sat in their usual spots. Kris and Suho seated in their usual spots at the ends of the table. D.O. next to Kai, then Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Chen and Sehun sat on the opposite side. Breakfast had been put on the table, simple fruit and toast, but no one had even picked anything yet. They were waiting. 

But Chanyeol didn't get why they had to wait in silence. Growing up, he had always been a talkative boy, the teachers thought he talked too much, his friends called him a blabbermouth and his parents sociable. He liked to talk and never had a problem starting conversations. So he didn't know why he couldn't speak now. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea what to even ing say. What had happened last night was shocking in many ways. But what was the most shocking was the split. Chanyeol knew that eventually Xiumin and Luhan would argue. All couples did.

He had been wrong. What had happened yesterday wasn't just a fight and they weren't a couple. Chanyeol knew that. The way Luhan and Xiumin acted around each other was like any other couple but simultaneously different. The way they relied on each other- Luhan's obvious longing for the older boy and Xiumin's quiet but equally passionate feelings, the way they clung to each other, the way they even looked at each other; most of the members knew about their love for each other before the either of them announced. But even when they admitted their love for each other, they had never put a label. No 'boyfriend' or anything. Maybe that had been the main problem. Without anything restricting them to a label, they could do anything. And Xiumin had broken it off.

~

Baekhyun's head snapped up when he heard the footsteps. Xiumin was walking downstairs, his eyes on his sweater buttons as he fumbled with them. He glanced up at the gaze of the 9 boys. "What is it?" he asked, his voice neutral. He looked remarkably normal, good even, for someone who had broken up with his one and only love just hours ago. His hair was styled into a quiff. He had put on a simple layer of makeup, probably only concealer and foundation, Baekhyun predicted, being an expert in makeup after all. He had put eyeliner on as well. 

"What do you mean what-" Sehun was painfully jabbed by Chen as D.O. and Baekhyun simulatenously turned to glare at the maknae. "Uh, hyung. Why don't you sit down?" Chanyeol quickly covered up. Xiumin nodded and sat in his usual seat. "So, why isn't anyone eating breakfast?" Xiumin asked, picking up the toast, his actions casual. "That's what I'd like to know." Kai muttered from next to him. "Let's eat!" D.O. said, a bit too loudly. Everyone began to eat, talking and chattering though no one really cared and no one had anything to talk about. As Baekhyun began a conversation with Xiumin about his eyeliner, the older boy froze, his fork in mid-air. His eyes focused on something behind Baekhyun, calm and emotionless. Baekhyun turned to see Luhan and Lay coming down the stairs. Lay was his usual pretty self but Luhan...

Luhan had large dark circles and red eyes. His hair was a mess and his face devoid of makeup. He looked, like death. His face was set in a straight line as he staggered forwards with Lay's support. Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at the boy. Xiumin looked down at his plate. Luhan's eyes glanced up at the members, dull and weary, before focusing on Xiumin. The boy froze. "I'm not sitting with him. Not now." Luhan said, his voice cracking on the 'him'. Xiumin's head shot up but his expression remained neutral. Lay stepped towards Luhan. "Lu-ge." the boy spoke. Luhan shot back something in mandarin which made Lay wince and Kris glance up. "Luhan, you don't actually.." Kris trailed off. Xiumin got up. "It's fine. I've already eaten anyway. I'll head to practice first. See you guys later!" Xiumin said quickly, his eyes cast downwards as he walked away. "Hyung!" D.O. said getting up and following the boy. The room was quiet. 

Luhan staggered and sat down on Xiumin's seat. Lay took a seat next to him. Xiumin's unfinished toast was picked up and examined. "Finished, my foot." Luhan scoffed. No one was quite sure how to respond to that. Luhan began to eat the unfinished toast. "Hyung..?" Sehun asked uncertainly. Luhan glanced up. "Well, we can't just let it go to waste, right?" Luhan said, his voice neutral and calm now that Xiumin was gone. Baekhyun wondered how long this would go on. 

~

D.O. chased after Xiumin who was walking very quickly. "Hyung. Stop!" D.O. called out. Xiumin froze in place. "What do you want?" Xiumin called, his voice shaky. D.O. caught up to him and was surprised to see the tears in the older boy's eyes. "Hyung." D.O. repeated dumbly. Xiumin shook his head, laughing bitterly. "He hates me." he let out, his voice a desperate and failed attempt at sounding casual. D.O. shook his head. "He could never hate you. He's just hurt." D.O. reassured softly. Xiumin shook his head again. "He hates me; he doesn't even want to be near me." The boy repeated. D.O. sighed. "He doesn't. He's probably just upset that you, you know, look unaffected." D.O. said hesitantly. "Unaffected?" Xiumin asked in confusion. "You don't, you don't look like you're suffering from heartbreak." D.O. explained. 

Xiumin cocked his head. "That was kind of the point. I don't want to look like death. Which I was without the makeup." Xiumin said. D.O. nodded. He had been there when Xiumin was crying last night after all. "But to Luhan, it looks like you weren't even affected by what happened last night." D.O. justified. Xiumin sighed. "If only he knew." They found a bench and sat down on it. "Hyung, does it really.. does it really hurt that much?" D.O. asked hesitantly. Xiumin glanced at him. "What does?" He asked. D.O. cleared his throat. "You know, love." Xiumin looked at him curiously. "Why? Do you like someone?" Xiumin asked. D.O. thought of Kai with his pretty face and puppy smile and blushed. "Not really." He mumbled. 

~

Lay had been there when Luhan had sobbed and when the boy had finally collapsed into a restless sleep. He had held the boy as he voiced broken declarations of love and apologized repeatedly. He had watched Luhan throw the locket across the room before immediately scrambling over to cradle it. He had witnessed his friend break down. Lay couldn't help but feel angry. Angry at Xiumin. Angry at Luhan. Angry at the manager. Angry at the contract. Just angry in general. 

It shouldn't be so difficult. It shouldn't be so hard for two people to be together. And as he brought Luhan to breakfast and watched the interaction between the two boys, he couldn't help but feel angry once again. It shouldn't be so sad.

~

Tao had purposely missed breakfast. He really didn't want to deal with any of the tension and glances as Xiumin and Luhan faced each other again. His mind wandered back to last night. Not being able to speak Korean that well, he hadn't exactly been able to understand what had happened and had to be filled in on what had happened from Sehun. 

He couldn't believe it. He had reason not to. Not being able to understand Korean when promoting in Korea had made Tao a very good observor. He had to look at what others were doing, what they would do with their expressions and body, to figure out what was going on. And what he had seen last night was much different from what had supposedly happened. 

Xiumin had looked like he was going to collapse. His tight expression and stiff body, his pursed lips and quiet voice. The way his hands had shook slightly at his sides as he claimed there relationship to be nothing (well according to Sehun anyway) and his avoidance of any eye contact with Luhan told Tao more than the words could ever. 

He knew that they loved each other and that there relationship was everything, but what could he do with that information? There would be no point in telling it to Luhan, who would obviously be feeling very hurt and Xiumin, who would be pretending to be strong. And so, Tao chose to remain there, in his room. 

~

Sehun and Kai were in the practice room, dancing silently. Neither of them needed to speak, they knew each other well enough to know that this was not the time. Sehun's mind wandered to Luhan and Xiumin and how sad it all was but it was overshadowed by the sight of Xiumin bribing the managers. Until yesterday, Sehun had been under the illusion that Xiumin was a righteous and just person. He had believed that their managers although a little strict, were also well, not corrupt. How stupid of him. 

Now he knew. The managers weren't as endearing as he had expected and Xiumin hyung not as innocent. 

He was broken out of his reverie when Kai switched the song. The older boy had a distracted expression on his face, an expression that Sehun had come to recognize. Sehun knew exactly what Kai was thinking of. Or rather, who he was thinking of. "Jongin-ah." He spoke up. Kai turned to him. "It'll work out." Sehun said comfortingly. Kai sighed. "I don't know man, if Xiumin and Luhan broke up, there's no hope for me and him, right?" Kai asked softly. Sehun didn't know how to reply to that. So he didn't and they began to dance again. 

~

Chen didn't know how to comfort Suho. The confident leader was sitting on the kitchen table, his head in his hands as he voiced his regrets to Chen. "I should have done something." the leader whispered. "I'm the leader. I should have done something." Similar lines like these had been repeated ever since yesterday as Suho wallowed in regret and pity over the events that had occured yesterday. 

Chen sat next to him, offering comforting words which were empty and silly, even to his own ears. But what else could anyone do in this house? Xiumin and Luhan were together. That was their thing. They had their own little world which didn't allow anyone in. It was their coffee trips, not anyone else's. Their soccer games, their hugs, their whispers. Chen, Sehun, Lay, all of the members had tried to get into that paradise and had been immediately denied access in the form of glares from Luhan. 

The relationship between the two hyungs had been the one constant in their messed up idol life. It had been what Chen had woken up to whether they were in Korea or China or Germany or Hong Kong or wherever. The sight of Luhan grabbing Xiumin to go somewhere, Luhan hugging Xiumin from behind, Xiumin smiling as soon as Luhan came into view, Xiumin taking care of the boy as he slept. It was as concrete as the fact that they were in EXO-K and EXO-M. Luhan was not Luhan without Xiumin and vice-versa. But it seemed that this relationship was ending, as quickly as it had been formed. 

~

Kris didn't care. That was what he repeated to himself as he sat in his room, listening to the radio. He didn't know what it was doing there but if he had to guess, it was probably Suho's doing. What had happened last night had left Kris bitter. He was upset about Luhan and Xiumin, yes. But he knew that they would eventually end up back together. Xiumin wouldn't be able to live without Luhan and Luhan would never be able to resist the urge to go to Xiumin. It was obvious. Eventually, they would come closer before forgiving each other. Because that was what their personalities were. They were both forgiving people. Luhan was quick to anger and quick to forgive, much too talkative and eager to ignore someone for too long. Xiumin was ignorant but accepting and understanding. Their grudge wouldn't last long. But whether they reunited as friends or lovers, Kris wasn't sure. 

But it wasn't really that which Kris was trying not to care about. It was the manager. The way he had mocked them, mocked Kris and Suho. The way he had accepted the money so easily. He had always known that SM as a company wasn't very humanitarian or understanding but he had expected more than that. He had expected some more honesty. 

It had become apparent, however, as they were given less days off and more trainings. As they were pushed around more, forced into schedules which they hadn't been aware of previously. It had become obvious that their lives were becoming more and more restricted as they were dictated by managers on what to do, what to wear, what to say. Kris hated it. He detested the lack of freedom. He hated that the only communication he got with his parents was a three minute call once a month. He hated having to train the same routine for an entire day. He hated being forced to do extensive classes in Korean when in the songs, he only had one line and in an interview, he barely got the opportunity to speak. He hated being called leader only when something was wanted from him. 

He hated it all.

But he didn't mention anything. Instead, he comforted Tao when the boy was homesick and looking for someone who would understand. He stayed up with Lay, listening to the boy try out tunes and lyrics, complimenting his dedication to song-writing. He let Luhan and Xiumin act younger then their age, becoming the big brother in the group without any complaint. He helped Chen because Xiumin and Luhan were too in love to care about anything else, because Lay was too clueless and forgetful and Tao too young. But he couldn't help but feel tired about not being acknowledged. He just couldn't.

~~~

I wanted to sort of talk about how everyone felt in general. It was messy and probably very repetitive. Sorry. 

Also, talked a lot about Kris. Sorry, got Kris feels :(

Thank you for comments and subscribers! Very appreciated!

Bye!