Present: Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Baekhyun sits in front of Chanyeol, staring at him from across the giant's bed. The distance between them isn't much, their knees are touching as they're seated legs criss-crossed. They listen to each other's breathing and Baekhyun doesn't dare blink or break eye contact with his boyfriend. It's been this way since they'd arrived from the cafe down the street from their houses. That was about thirty minutes ago and and two hours since Chanyeol had texted Baekhyun, asking him if they could study at their favorite cafe and drink their favorite drinks. It's also been about an hour and a half since Baekhyun had the greatest revelation of his life, sitting beside Chanyeol while his ex girlfriend explained to him why she was there, seated in his and Chanyeol's favorite corner and laughing with Chanyeol like as if there was no bad blood between them.

No words can explain just how much Baekhyun felt back at the cafe.

Let's just start with how confused he was. After a while of persuading himself not to leave, having Chanyeol explain everything, and Haylee backing Chanyeol up by apologizing about lots of things, it was a lot to handle. Thank god Baekhyun had driven to the cafe with his own car, and he and Chanyeol awkwardly agreed to have another talk later and drive home seperately, preferrably for some time to think for themselves on the way back without any distractions or worry. In fact, Baekhyun had lots to think about.

He was a little confused as to how he couldn't remember ever feeling a hangover or wanting to puke that Saturday morning after the party, maybe a slight headache he'd brushed off after waking up in an awkward position and a sick feeling later in the day which he thought was just him eating something wrong. But he'd also realized that he and Chanyeol had switched jobs that Friday night. Chanyeol finally allowed himself to drink as much as Baekhyun usually does while the other played safer and drank less, but really, to be honest, there's a big difference between what they conceive as 'drinking less', so it's possible he and Chanyeol drank equally as much. But then again....ugh! Thinking about this is so confusing!

All he's thinking about is how his giant managed to act like the world was all sun and smiles that Saturday morning, talking about Baekhyun's mom's french toast like he hadn't just drank a load of alcohol the night before. Baekhyun knows that giant drank a lot, guessing by the fact that if the dream was an actual reality and Baekhyun had actually broken up with Chanyeol that night, if it was the other way with Chanyeol breaking up with Baekhyun over stupid nothing, he'd have drank more alcohol too. But then again, the sun and smiles might've been because Chanyeol is always a good handler with alcohol, something Baekhyun was jealous of.

Baekhyun needs to stop partying, follow Chanyeol's path, he swears.

What is knowing that sure, Chanyeol may have fooled him for a while, lying about the break up and acting like it was no big deal when he'd finally told the truth to Baekhyun. And sure, it hurts a bit, knowing he was lied to, but really, Baekhyun knows he fooled himself the most. He'd raked his brain for any memories while driving behind Chanyeol's car on the way home, and while at it, his radio only to hear a familiar pop song that was playing at the party. Baekhyun'd began to feel or sorts of weird and suddenly everything was so distinct and he remembered why he'd thought it was a dream in the first place.

Baekhyun remembers crying, leaning back on the wall of another person's yard and hearing the sounds of cars driving by, only for them to stop and him finally noticing that it was Kyungsoo driving his car and Luhan driving behind him with Baekhyun's. He remembers being pulled up and Luhan calling him a big baby for crying when he was the one who broke Chanyeol's heart. Baekhyun also remembers being slapped across the face by the Chinese male and seeing Kyungsoo gasp. He remembers Luhan yelling at him some more for drinking alcohol, for being immature and throwing alcohol on Haylee, for running away from embarassment and then using that humiliation and the kiss between Haylee and Chanyeol and his stupid pile of insecurities, as stupid justifications that maybe he should break up with the guy. He remembers Luhan frustratedly yelling at Baekhyun, something about how Baekhyun doesn't usually give a about what other people say so why did he choose that night to do so? Luhan had yelled at him in his frustrated mood and Baekhyun remembers roughly being pulled by Luhan, with Kyungsoo pleading for Luhan to be kinder and the other brushing it off, only for the Chinese male to move Baekhyun so he could see that Jongin and Sehun were having a rough time with Chanyeol as well. It wasn't very far off a distance and Baekhyun could see Chanyeol hadn't wanted to be pulled up and Sehun and Jongin were deciding what would be better, dragging Chanyeol or carrying him because the giant had no motivation to get up, only yell for his friends to leave him alone. Baekhyun remembers Luhan yelling at him, declaring it was a  move and asking Baekhyun why he did all of that, making such a big deal out of nothing. He should've just fought for Chanyeol after Haylee kissed him, told her to back off instead of run away like a scared insecure coward he was.

Baekhyun knows he's complained to Luhan the most about his insecurities because Luhan was upfront about it while Kyungsoo wanted to lay some icing and make everything seem fine. Luhan was like the dad and Kyungsoo the mother, there's nothing to be said about that. But what he doesn't know is that Chanyeol also tells Luhan just about everything and the Chinese male knows that Chanyeol was just as insecure, telling him about how he wanted to impress Baekhyun with his acting skills in theater, only for the other to give him a small award and later move on to something else like talk to his ex, Taeyeon. Luhan knows about how Chanyeol felt like Baekhyun wasn't paying enough attention to his efforts. Luhan knows that the two should talk it out, and really, being the middle ground and the hyung for the two .

Baekhyun remembers hearing Luhan sigh and apologize for being rough with him, remembers hugging Luhan just as tight and saying he was sorry too, for having him and Kyungsoo deal with his immature bull. Baekhyun remembered being ushered into his car by Luhan and Luhan telling Kyungsoo they'll meet at Baekhyun's house. He remembers sitting in shotgun beside Luhan, while the other the radio to calm Baekhyun's nerves. He remembers tearing up a bit when Luhan told him that what he did was wrong and immature. Baekhyun remembers whispering things like how stupid he was and how he regrets ever breaking up with his bestfriend and silently wishing to himself that it was all a dream.

So that's how it all began. In his slightly drunken, slightly sober state, Baekhyun wished it was all a dream while Luhan drove him home. He remembers deciding that it was, in his humiliation of having Kyungsoo throw him into the shower, making the younger wash the alcoholic stench off Baekhyun and wipe the eyeliner from his face and grumble an 'I told you so' which Baekhyun knows is Kyungsoo saying Baekhyun should've listened to Kyungsoo about how alcohol makes people do stupid . He remembers being babied, despite Luhan calling him a big baby earlier, being tucked in his bed in fresh clothes while Kyungsoo gave him some medicine and threw his clothes in the laundry and Luhan was soothingly wiping his forehead, telling him that it'll all pass and the two of them will fix things for Baekhyun, while the other teared up and fell asleep still wishing it was all a dream.

Baekhyun remembers not being able to sleep when he woke up long after Luhan and Kyungsoo had left. He remembers the walk over to Chanyeol's house, picking the extra key from the pot, walking up the staircase and lying down on Chanyeol's bed while listening to the hum of the shower on and later feeling the rustle of bed sheets and falling asleep to the familiar smell of Chanyeol's soap. He also remembers everything that happened after that, while he'd finally rifted off to sleep and his mind finally decided to give him what he wanted and tell Baekhyun it was all a nightmare he dreamt in his head. All things after that, he already knows.

So while Baekhyun's sitting in front of Chanyeol, watching as the other was trying to look anywhere else but him in his own guilt of lying and drowning in his worry that Baekhyun might say something, Baekhyun can't help but not feel any hurt towards his giant. Because he knows that Chanyeol was just as hurt as Baekhyun was. He should've noticed the signs, he did, but he'd brushed them off when the giant told him not to worry. How stupid. He finally understands why Chanyeol wasn't to 'low voice big laughter' over the weekend or the 'embarassing boyfriend' during school. It was because Baekhyun had hurt him in the worst way possible by breaking up with him and telling him that they should forget about everything. Chanyeol would've never done what he did, he's too much of a softie to do so. Baekhyun knows Chanyeol wouldn't do stuff like lie unless it was for a good reason. He thinks about what the other might feel, it's one of the things that Baekhyun likes about him. Baekhyun finally breaks his stare and moves. He feels the other tense when he leans close and grabs one of Chanyeol's hands, twining their fingers together while his right hand reached over to turn Chanyeol's face to look at him in the eyes. Baekhyun gives him a smile and Chanyeol follows in suit, albeit giving an awkward and guarded one at that.

Baekhyun realizes that although it's been three months of them dating, maybe he and Chanyeol jumped into the relationship without finding some sort of ground on what they should do when they get into situations like this. When things aren't so fluffy and happy and it gets serious. But looking at Chanyeol, he smiles because jumping into a relationship with his bestfriend and next door neighbor in their last year of highschool has to be the craziest, most spontaneous thing he's ever done and he regrets none of it. He feels like he's been dating Chanyeol since forever anyways. After finally gaining confidence that Chanyeol wouldn't look away, he smiles again and remembers what Chanyeol said before.

"You have to agree not to say anything while I'm talking," Baekhyun says. "Nod your head if you agree." He grins when Chanyeol nods and squeezes right back when the giant squeezes their linked hands, a symbol for assurance. "Okay, this is gonna be really serious and might take a while, but we might as well get to it..."

He just knows this is gonna take a while, but knowing Chanyeol, he's all ears. (a/n: LOL, get it? someone tell me they get this pun.)

"So," he awkwardly starts. "Should it be relief I feel when my assumption that you ditched me and study cuddle time was so you could go and hang out with Haylee, was wrong?" Baekhyun asks Chanyeol. He smiles when the other makes no sound, only blinking at him as if he's struggling with if he should answer or not. " yes! At that moment when I'd caught you two mid-laugh, I was ready to pounce on that assumption and have a BBF that maybe, just maybe, Haylee had called you over and you were playing nice guy all over again. Do you know how it would've been if I had one of my BBFs?" Baekhyun asks, with slight amusement when Chanyeol chuckles. "And the image was a little too friendly, you know. What if I had a BFF? So what? Sue me. Being jealous only means I care," he justifies. "Get it?" Chanyeol nods.

"Should I feel relief that Haylee for the first time since she came back, didn't seem like as if she was planning to steal my boyfriend right from my very eyes?" The confession that Chanyeol was the one who'd invited Haylee over first was a surprise, but once the giant had told him of why, he guessed that maybe his giant was right for once that time.

"Yeah," Baekhyun sighs, slouching, before untangling his hand from Chanyeol and spreading his arms out for Chanyeol to hug him close. The two end up in a position that Chanyeol usually teases Baekhyun about, calling the older male a koala, but all the while loving how close they were. Leaning in to Chanyeol's strong embrace, Baekhyun sighs and leans his cheek on the other's right shoulder, lightly pecking Chanyeol's neck while the other moved to lean on his bed's headboard. He feels Chanyeol shiver from the peck and smiles when Chanyeol hugs him tighter.

"I shouldn't be one to control your every action. Been that way since we were kids so I know you can take care of yourself and if you feel the need to talk to your ex-girlfriend, then it's fine. Heck, you can do that with any girl out there! Guys too!" Baekhyun pauses and ponders over what he's said when Chanyeol snorts from above. Chanyeol gives him a look that Baekhyun knows as 'Oh really?'  Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

"I know you know so I'm just gonna say it," he groans in embarassment at his silent but smiling boyfriend. "People can talk to you, as long as there's no touchy feely stuff, unless it's the rest of the guys and it's just like Kris hyung giving you a noogie or something. That's the final verdict. No buts."

Chanyeol chuckles.

"Should I be happy that you finally got the closure that you deserved? Ecstatic that Haylee would never be another block in whatever you and I have?" Baekhyun blushes. Oh he just bets Chanyeol's having the time of his life watching him right now. "That she and I could actually be friends? Yes, because with the sincerity behind Haylee's words and apologies, it was enough to know that you finally felt like you gained some closure with your first relationship, with how ed up it was."

Baekhyun was also able to realize that Haylee wasn't such a bad person that he thought she was. She just wanted some attention from her parents, and being a child of two loving parents himself, he sympathized with her and wished that she could get the same. He also understood that she felt out of place among people that already created their own friends and cliques. After finally getting to know Haylee, he'd apologized to her as well, telling her of how apologetic he was for judging her based off of their past history when he didn't know anything else but that. He'd also decided that she would be part of their group and laughed when she gave a surprised thanks.

"It was nice. Smiling at her, laughing with her," he tells Chanyeol, "it didn't feel as forced as it used to." There was some sort of closure between them two too. "It was kind of, nice, actually," Baekhyun says, blowing on his hugger's neck and earning a soft pinch on his thigh. "Ow, Park Chanyeol!" Baekhyun fakes while the giant rolls his eyes.

They fall into a calm silence until finally the conversation's about them. Baekhyun gulps before starting all over again, worried about Chanyeol's reaction over the sensitive topic.

"Or should I be pissed that you had been keeping things from me? Played like a fool? Shocked that you had lied to me since Saturday about the nightmare I'd had?" Baekhyun feels the other tense and he hugs him tighter as if to tell Chanyeol to relax, it's okay.  "Angry with you when I know that you only did it so I wouldn't be hurt?" Baekhyun whispers. Chanyeol tries to say something but one look from Baekhyun and he stops. "Should I feel regret and guilt that this whole time, I've been thinking everything was right and life was good when instead it wasn't? Should I feel extreme guilt and sadness now that I know I'd broken your heart, even if temporarily, that Friday night all because I'd ran away with my insecurities? Should I apologize?"

Baekhyun eases into Chanyeol, letting out a breath and remaining silent and as if he was creating some suspense in Chanyeol's being, the giant finally speaks and Baekhyun can't help but grin into the other's neck because, of course Chanyeol would. The dude's too curious minded.

"Welllll?" Chanyeol drags on, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, audible for Baekhyun. "Baek, are you gonna finish? Should I answer now? Were those rhetorical questions or are you going to answer them yourself?" Chanyeol quizically asks, teasing the other by letting go of his grip on the smaller's waist. Baekhyun groans and pulls them back up, wrapping Chanyeol's arms around him once again.

"I will, I will. Just don't let go of me okay?"

Chanyeol smiles at this, the sight of a super cuddly Baekhyun in his presence. "Wellll, go on then Koala Baek." How could he fall for such a small cute and cuddly guy like his bestfriend?

"Fine," Baekhyun groans. "What I'm saying is, I should be pissed at you for keeping things from me. Feel like a fool for being played like that. Shocked that you'd lied to be since Saturday about my dream-don't think I forgot what you promised to me that night you giant-and angry with you because you did it so I wouldn't get hurt," he pauses and listens to the way Chanyeol's breathing, the soft huffs blowing his hair. He cuddles closer to Chanyeol and realizes out of all the wrong times to say things like this, he does it because he's embarassed.

"Have you noticed we're always in each other's house? Like I think we almost always end up in your room and have these talks. Maybe we should start having them in mine. My dad and mom won't mind if she sees us like this you know. He'd be a little surprised for a bit and probably walk it off while she'd be cackling like a weirdo and telling me to use protection like always. Which for her, because it won't happen because I respect your decision in waiting for the right time, not that I'm experienced or anything. Hell, you're a , I'm a , let's just all be s and save it for something special like oh I don't know. Wait, yeah I really don't know, maybe something spontaneous. But yeah, I totally respect you and the thing and let's just not have talks at my house because my mom will think of something weird to say like when she called you my prince. And oh my gosh I'm ram-" Baekhyun doesn't get to finish rambling off into a tangent when he suddenly feels a pair of soft lips crash into him and hears a soft chuckle when the contact is broken. He looks up to find Chanyeol blushing albeit a wide grin on his face.

"Ya, Park Chanyeol!" He softly smacks the other's chest and glares at his boyfriend. "I swear, I really should do something about you kissing me like that. They're distracting and this is a really important conversation and oh my gosh I just realized I broke up with you, does that mean we're not together right now? What the heck are you doing kissing someone that's not your boyfriend? Oh hell no Park Chanyeol, reserve your kisses okay? Don't just hand them out to some weirdo when you feel like they're talking a little too mu-" Baekhyun's attacked once again and he feels Chanyeol smile before the kiss suddenly breaks and he's amusedly watching his giant laugh out loud, leaning his head back with his eyes closed shut and perfect teeth free for Baekhyun to see. Baekhyun shakes his head and kisses the other's adam's apple, causing Chanyeol to snort at the ticklish feeling.

"Focus!"

"I can't! I know this is serious and I am focusing," Chanyeol says. "But you just looked so dazed and surprised when I kissed you after you rambled on and on. You looked cute," he teases. Baekhyun flushes under the other's look and like a child, clings on to his boyfriend again and shoves his face in the safety of the other's neck so he wouldn't see the blush on his face.

"Park Chanyeol, you need to stop doing this to me I swear. It's not good for my health."

"Doing what?" Chanyeol questions. "I've been listening to you and frankly, I think you still haven't finished what you've started," he teases as he whispers to the other's ear, feeling Baekhyun shiver. "So, go on then. Come onnn. I'll be serious and I won't talk. Promise," Chanyeol nudges.

"Okay, but you can't kiss me this time. Only when I stop talking. Deal?"

Baekhyun watches Chanyeol zip his mouth and hand him the key. He smiles.

"What I was saying was that, I should be all of those things," Baekhyun looks Chanyeol straight in the eyes. "Pissed and shocked, but to be honest, I'm not. I've been thinking about it and I think this was my fault from the beginning, and if not, both of ours. So there's no one to blame but ourselves. I know that I should have told you about my insecurities and I know that you have some faults too, but no one's perfect right? We all mess up at times and I know that I did what I did and you did what you did but I know we have our own reasons for doing so. I know that you feel sorry for what you did, after a million times of hearing you, and I know I'm sorry for hurting you over the weekend too," Baekhyun states.

"I'm really sorry Chanyeol," he looks down like a guilty child. "I'm sorry I hurt you because I felt insecure and humiliated at the party. I'm sorry I was being selfish that night and only thought about myself instead you as well. I'm also sorry that I didn't see the signs and I feel like crap, because I know you so well and yet I brushed the signs away instead of pestering you to tell me like I usually do. I'm sorry," he tears up and knows that Chanyeol can hear his sniffles because the other pulls him close and kisses his temple.

"I'm sorry Yeollie. Since the break up was real and I know that this'll make you happy, I absolutely want you back and I hope you take me back too and I regret ever breaking up with you," Baekhyun mumbles into Chanyeol's chest.

"Shhh, Baekkie," Chanyeol soothes the other. "It's fine. Don't cry over it," he rocks them side to side and Baekhyun can't help but think back to early Saturday morning when Chanyeol had done the same after being woken up by Baekhyun's sobs. "It's fine. I'm fine and you're fine. I never thought the break up was real anyways. I know you like like me too much to break up with me okay?" Chanyeol squeezes Baekhyun in his arms and Baekhyun smiles at their insider. "Don't cry Baek or I'll start ugly crying and maybe you'll really consider breaking up with me. I know I cry ugly."

Baekhyun laughs at this and squeezes Chanyeol back. His boyfriend was always so good at making him feel better. He amusedly wipes his face on Chanyeol's gray shirt and giggles at how gross it must feel for Chanyeol. He leans back and smiles at his giant.

"You've ugly cried since you were a kid. How has it not changed since then?" Baekhyun laughs, squeezing Chanyeol's cheeks together and smiling because he knows it'll make Chanyeol feel better too. "I think I can last longer with you though, ugly cry or not."

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and laughs. "No more crying?"

"No more crying."

"No more feeling guilty between us? Because I'd rather put this aside as a lesson and move on," Chanyeol soothingly kisses the other's forehead.

"No more guilt. No more lies? Honest truth and nothing but the truth?"

"Honest truth."

"No more break ups? Baekyeol forever?"

"Hell yes!" Chanyeol promises, itching for a happier atmosphere. "Can we make out now?" He winks and smiles when Baekhyun laughs. Finally, Chanyeol thinks, as he feels the weight on his shoulders and the pain in his chest disappear. Everything's back to how it should be.

Baekhyun leans in, their lips an inch apart while he looks up at Chanyeol and the other looks down. They're both smiling and know just what'll happen next.

"We can totally make out."

A few kisses later and panting among the two of them, Chanyeol gets a laugh in and Baekhyun asks him why.

"Girls and boys are allowed to talk to me but no touchy feely? Spontaneous it?  Awkward dads and cackling mothers? What are we? A rom-com?" Chanyeol teases his flushed boyfriend.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at his immature boyfriend before wrapping a hand around Chanyeol's neck and pulling him closer.

"Just shut up and just kiss me."

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This was idk, there might be some wrong grammar. I'll check. I hope you guys had a wonderful Independence Day with family and friends! And watched awesome fireworks, live or on TV. I know I had fun watching it outside. I just saw an ep. of Jay Park on RM. Bae! Hope you like this update! Comment below! Spoiler: prom season next! xxjuly.