Chapter 32

“waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh”

Ysa is so red from crying, howling and squirming and Seohyun is already frustrated. The family has tried to calm the kid by showing different toys, trying to feed her and singing to her while rocking her. She asked Nana and Buddy to rest because they still have a flight to catch by tomorrow. She sends everyone to their room as Ysa may feel overwhelmed with those many people inside one tiny space. She carried the child again whispering soothing words.

“Ia go sleep with grandma, I’ll stay and help mom” Yonghwa said while tapping the now sleeping Ia on the chair. She walked groggily out the door and in to her grandmas rooms.  When Ysa saw Ia’s retreating back she cried louder which made Ia turn back automatically eyes half close and got Ysa out fo her mom’s arms. The girl danced with the crying child now with her eyes close.

“Ysabelle, your sister needs to rest, mommy and daddy is here, if you’re not sleepy we can play with you ok?” she looked at the baby “so can we let Ia sleep?” Joohyun whispered to her baby who is still sobbing and wide awake looking at her mother. Ysa reached her arms to her mom and Joohyun signaled Ia to now sleep. She rocked Ysa ever so gently but her arms already stiff from carrying.

“Give her to me Joohyun you rest first if she still continues to be like this let’s bring her to the hospital” Joohyun handed Ysa to him,as he slightly bounced the child in his arms while tapping her back

“I really don’t know what had gotten into her” she said while sitting on the bed. She rested her head on the headboard and closed her eyes. She’s drained and her head hurts like hell.

“Yonghwa, will you be okay, I’ll just close my eyes for a bit? I feel like my head is splitting into two”

“Yeah go ahead” he moved closer to her and tried to fixed the pillow from under her with his left arm while the other supporting the baby. When Joohyuns comfortably lying he swayed a little to rock the now quiet yet awake child to sleep. When he know that sleep won’t be visitng anytime soon, he got Ysa’s jacket and hat and dressed her warmly, got his guitar then quietly stepped out for the room.

“Ysa, how do you like Korea so far?” He talked to the child as if the child could already talk. The father and daughter tandem made their way to the porch swing in the garden and sat there while still carrying the child.

He swung them lightly just to start a steady rhythm that may help the child go to sleep

“This is were appa grew up, I used to play in this garden with your samchon and halmuni would scold us because we’re ruining her plants” Yong chuckled remembering his childhood days

“How’s your mom? Did she cry a lot when you guys went home? Is mom getting a lot of guys attention? You think she likes someone else? Do you think daddy’s too late?” he chuckled “ what am I saying” he sighs thinking of everything that is going on and is going to happen. He looked down and stared at the top of his daughters head. Yes, she’s real. He rested his palms on Ysa’s back to feel the heaves of up and down of the breathing child. Yes, she’s mine. He put her down beside her and took his guitar and started playing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDPfUxZjFNs

“I’m sorry for not making the right decision baby, daddy has a lot of growing up to do then, I didn't know if what I was doing was right. I thought what I did was for the best. I’m sorry for hurting you and mom, I’m sorry for making mom cry a lot, I used to be the one who made her laugh but I turned them to tears. I’m sory for not being able to hold moms hand during hospital visits and see you inside her tummy. I'm sorry not being able to comfort her when she was in pain when she had you.” He look at the stars remembering him and Joohyun. Sadness and guilt filled his heart as his thoughts drifted to his daughter while he continued singing

“I’m sorry for leaving her alone when she needed me the most. I’m sorry for not being able to see you the first time you let out your first cry. I wasn't able to see your first smile. I wasn't there the first time you laughed, the first steps you took. I’m sorry for not being able to play with you during the day and get your milk at night. I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when you got sick. I’m sorry for not being able to take you out for walks. I’m sorry for over a million things Ysa, daddy is very very sorry” tears fell from the side of his eyes, his voice quivered while singing and Ysa noticed the tears on his cheeks, she carefully moved to her fathers side and looked at her father’s face

“nonononononono dadadad” the child shakes her head while putting her little hands on his cheek which made him sob harder.

“Oh Ysabelle daddy is very very sorry” as he cried putting his guitar down and hugged his daughter tight

“nononono cry dada” as the little one held a fistful of her dads shirt since she’s squeeze in her dads chest

He felt the child was also about to cry

“It’s okay, dad is okay, dad is just sad that I wasn’t able to meet you sooner and had mom go through having you alone but dad is here now so don’t worry anymore” as he hugged his daughter tighter hitching for breath to prevent from crying more. After what seems to be an hour of hugging

“Hey aren’t you tired sweetie?“Let’s get you inside, I might get you sick from staying here ” he let go of his hug from her to which the baby girls just smiled and nuzzled her face to his chest for warthm from the night air. 

~~~~

Yonghwa removed the extra clothing he dressed Ysa with and moved to sit on the other side of the bed. When Ysa seems to be getting a bit sleepy, he changed his position, he half sat and half lay on the bed. When the child started breathing steadily on his chest, he rested his head on the headboard and closed his eyes while he hugged his daughter close. He was afraid that he might drop the child so he scooted closer to the center of the bed now lying right beside Joohyun.

She woke up feeling someone lying next to her, snoring softly. She slowly opened her eyes and was met by Ysa’s sleeping face that was nestled on her fathers’ chest. She moved a little and felt his arms over her head and his hands on her back. She moved up supporting her body with her elbow and saw his other arm protectively hugging Ysa. How can he sleep like this, his body will definitely hurt in the morning. She stared at his face and then at her daughter, they looked like 2 halves of 1. Sleeping habits alike, breathing completely synchronized, no one can deny that they are father and daughter. A tear escaped her eyes and lied back down on her side staring back again at her daughters’ angelic face “Ysa what do I do?” she whispered. She snuggled closer to his side, closed her eyes and hugged Ysa thus also hugging Yonghwa. Just this once, let me give this moment to myself and to my daughter.

Hustle and bustle can be heard from the outside. When Ia opened her moms door Ysa was already awake and was sitting at the foot of the bed looking for ways to get down. She pressed her point finger on her lips telling the child to keep quiet and signaled that her mom and dad is still sleeping. She tiptoed towards the bed and picked up her sister taking a glance at the sleeping figures. She giggled and strode out the door while closing it gently. Once the door is closed behind her, Ia did a crazy dance and held