Siwon was dumbstruck by her answer. He had to breathe in and out before he trusted himself to speak, but he did not need to, Miranda abruptly said.

“I’m sorry that was a bit ungracious of me.” she apologized, “But we’re not here to talk about my opinions.” She looks at him defensively.

“Well?” she asks him.

“Well what?” his brows shot up.

Miranda was reconsidering the whole thing; she decided to rehash her question, “Which would you prefer? Knowing? Or not knowing?” she leans forward her eyes were expecting a direct answer.

Siwon leans toward her, “That depends.”

Miranda’s brows met in annoyance without her knowledge.

“Depends how?” the irritation was barely disguised in her voice.

Siwon felt like he is talking to a three year old. His eyes danced with amusement, “It depends on how I feel about you.”

He hides the smile that was threatening to show when Miranda leaned back with confusion all over her face.

Suddenly her expression changed. After the initial shock she regained her composure and regarded him again.

“You’re right, I was looking at this only on the one side.” She sighs; she runs her hand through her hair and rubs her nape as she pauses to think. She cups her chin as she plants her elbow on the table; she looked past him with distant eyes.

Siwon silently watched her. It was like she was not aware of his presence. It bothers him that something like this can cause so much worry for her. That fact that she needed his opinion in a matter that every normal person goes through in their life shows how remote she is with this emotion. He is itching to know what caused her to be like this, he wants to know why she considers love or falling in love a waste of time.

He almost jumped when she let out a quiet y laugh.

Miranda smiles at him; she leans back in her chair and crossed her arms on her chest as she leisurely crosses her legs. She chuckles as she shakes her head, “Figuring out how to isolate prions for cancer research was a piece of cake compared to this thing.” She made an annoyed face when she mentions the last word.

“This sure is complicated; everything is so vague and unstable. I’m not surprised anymore why people lose their minds over this.” She laughs but her expression was that of distaste.

“What I don’t understand is the obsession that everyone has for it.” She cringed, “It’s like playing Russian Roulette, only with more than one bullet in the chamber.” She shuddered; clearly horrified of the image she conjured in her mind.

Siwon laughs humorlessly; he couldn’t believe the things that he was hearing from her. His heart clenched at the finality of how she describes the most important emotional state for humankind, with aversion. He figures it may be more of the romantic aspect of love that she has deemed offensive since she is able to show affection to other people. How she dotes on Victoria and the rest of f(x) is proof enough that she is capable of that emotion.

“I believe love has its merits.” He opens the discussion, she looks up with an expression that says she will listen to him but still has reservations and will cling stubbornly to her beliefs.

She chortles, “I will not disagree with you. The industry we work in is founded on love.” She challenged him to disagree with her eyes. He smiles back and silently concedes.

“It’s the most common theme, without it we’ll be without jobs.” She laughs.

“That’s right. But wouldn’t you agree when I say that it makes people happy?” he dared.

Miranda almost rolled her eyes but caught herself, “So can chocolate but it does not induce self destruction.”

Siwon laughs at her counter, “Why do you always think it would go badly? Most people stay happy with love.” He grins at her indignant expression, “Why do you think they crave it?”

“Why do you think people jump out of planes for thrills?” she says hotly, “It’s the thrill they crave not the act of jumping, knowing well enough that their parachute may or may not open! The fact that they may die while doing the act makes them crave for it.” She snorts, “They are crazy! Plain and simple!”

He tries to reply but she held up her hand to stop him.

“Investing yourself on something so volatile and unforgiving is such a huge risk. Showing affection and care I understand, but putting yourself out in the open with so much vulnerability, is just plain stupid! Draining yourself up over something that is known to be unapologetic to win happiness that is not even guaranteed is just preposterous!” She takes a deep breath after her tirade, her eyes openly showing her