Chen/ fem!Suho || words: 818 || drabble || summary: suho fell in love with her stepson

This is wrong.

I watched as your big and mischievous eyes stare at me. Watch as those thin lips etch wide for a smile and opens slowly for a melodious laugh to erupt. You were reaching up for me, wanting to hold me and because I was er for everything that you do, I always welcome you even if I’m busy.

“Mama.” You said after I enveloped you in my arms and my heart can’t help but swell upon hearing the love and affection present on your voice.

You were dependent on me, like you can’t last a single day without and me. And maybe I have grown accustomed to that fact that I started to feel sad when you would avoid me. You said your classmates were teasing you because of me and that there’s no need for me to fret over you because you’re a big boy now. So you left my arms and I let you be.

“Mama.” You said that one night and I blinked twice to get the blurry image of you to clear. I watched you as you approached the bed and climbed up, wrapping your little arms around me and you said. “I’m sorry, mama. I don’t want to be a big boy. Please don’t leave me.”

I watched as you grow up into a strong boy. Getting tall, even taller than me and your voice, it’s getting deeper. Unlike before, you didn’t push me away when your friends would tease you about me. Instead, you would hug me and call me your lady and that they are just jealous because they don’t have someone like me in their lives. The teasing grew, but they eventually stopped because you embraced it – feeling proud even.

“Mama.” You whispered against my ear and that was the first time I felt alive. Your hands were warm and your breath feels hot against my neck. I squirmed – surprised at your presence but you covered my mouth and pressed a finger against your lips. “Papa fell asleep watching TV downstairs. Don’t make too much noise or you’ll wake him up.”

That was the first time you kissed me and also the first time you made love to me.

“Look at the camera, mama.”

“J-Jongdae…”

“Hmm… so y. I’m gonna miss you while I’m at Uni, mama.”

A son, a friend, a lover. You were everything I ever wanted. And now that I have you, life was pure bliss. But I knew that happiness won’t last.

I watched as you were trembling on ground, a busted lip and a broken nose. You weren’t sobbing but you were mad. My head hurts from the fall but what hurt me the most was seeing you beaten to death by your father. He caught you – us, in the kitchen, our lips locked in a passionate kiss as our bodies glide in a steady rhythm. You just got back home for Uni then for Christmas break.

It wasn’t the type of reunion I was hoping for.

“Mama.” You whispered sadly and my heart clenched painfully.

“Kris, stop. Please, this isn’t his fa-“

A slap.

“I gave everything to you. To both of you. And this is how you repay me?!”

I was forgiven, but you were not. It was unfair.

You were banished from the family, but that doesn’t stop you from loving me. Secret meetings. Stolen kisses and hidden laughter. Fleeting touches and whispers of love and adoration. Strangers by the day and making passionate love at night. It was our routine and despite feeling afraid that my husband might know, I grew to be brave to face the risks.

“Look at mommy, Xing-ah.” Kris laughed as he lifted the little baby girl in his arms and I smiled, staring at my husband and I’s child together.

Instead of feeling furious, you were there throughout my pregnancy during the times when Kris was not there where I needed him the most. You felt betrayed upon hearing the news, yes, but you said that being with me was enough than nothing at all.

“Mama, how’s Yixing?” You beamed. “I heard baby sister learned how to walk now.” 

This is wrong.

“Mama, I heard Papa got a relapse. I hope he’s okay.”

This is wrong.

“Mama, you’re so gorgeous.” You mumbled against my neck, a hand on my thigh.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

“Mama.” I hear you whisper against my ear. “I love you.”

We don’t share the same blood, but it still feels wrong.

I looked up and smiled, reaching a hand to his cheek. “I love you, too.”

But frankly, I don’t give a damn.

a/n: I have no idea what kind of (curtesy of the “thinking chair”) I’ve written. To those who are slightly confused, Kris married Joonmyun when Jongdae was still a little boy so that makes Jongdae her stepson. Does that clear everything to you?