I'm late. Sorry. 

Double updated! Move back one chapter :)

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Chapter 41: Kris Wu

“You’re an , you know that?” Lay told me.

The three of us – me, Lay and Tao – are inside Lay’s pod and we’re drowning ourselves with alcohol. Or at least it was just me.

I drank the whole glass of Jack Daniels and poured myself even more as I hear Lay’s lecture on how much of an I am.

“Kris-ge, you should know that you deserve it all.” Tao told me, rubbing salt and pouring vinegar to my wounded heart.

I know that, too!

I know from the start that when Ashin dumps me because of how I will act on her, I deserve it. But even though I know that she would dump me, I still did it, instead. Can someone just punch me to get me back to my senses?

I heard the two sigh as I was gulping the glass I just poured JD on. I was drinking nonstop and the two are just telling me to stop and just sleep.

Damn. I can’t even sleep.

How can I sleep when I know that Ashin is hurting right at this moment because of me? How can I sleep when I know that she hates me from the bottom of her heart? it! I can’t. I can’t even breathe thinking that she might be crying right now because of me.

Everything I do is related to Ashin. Everything I do is because of how much I love her and how sorry I am that I have hurt her.

She’s the only girl that made me hurt this way. Well, it’s because I was so stupid in the first place to even cause her pain. But still, this is the first time that I feel like my life is being taken away from me little by little. It was as if I was being killed softly. And it’s because Ashin’s not by my side.

“Bro, you can’t really blame anyone for this because you had a choice.” Lay told me.

I just nodded. Even though their hurtful words hurt me to the pits of my soul, I know that each and every word that they are uttering is true. I deserve this. I know I do. I just feel sad because Ashin’s really hurt and I think I’ve destroyed her trust. I don’t think she would be able to trust anyone right now.

“What even made you agree with her? She’s your past and you hate her so much.” Tao beamed at me.

I sighed and messed my hair as I leaned on the couch, looking at the ceiling. “She looked so devastated when she came to me that day. She was crying and she really looked hurt.” I started to remember how Yoonhee looked the day she came to me – hating myself even more for being so conscientious.

“She asked me to come back to her because her parents are going to make her marry an unknown man.” I continued and they were quiet. I believe they are listening. “Of course I told her that I couldn’t because I am already in a relationship – the relationship that I would die for.”

Tao scoffed at my last remark. “If it was to die for, why are you still breathing?” He asked and Lay stifled a laugh. I glared at the both of them and they stopped.

Do these boys really just laugh at someone’s misfortune?

“But why did you still agree? You knew the consequences. It was your relationship with Ashin that’s on the line. Why did you still push it?” Lay asked me.

I sighed and massaged my temple. I was just trying to help Yoonhee for the last time, because no matter how much I hate her, she’s still a part of me. She was still someone in my life – even if she was in the past.

“Perhaps, maybe you still have feelings for Yoonhee?” Tao asked me.

I narrowed my eyes on him. “What? No!” I denied. Because I know who I love right now. And that’s Ashin and no one else. Yoonhee was just someone special.

“Then why did you do that?” Lay asked me frustrated. I know they are getting weirded out of my actions but it’s the truth. I just happened to feel sympathy for Yoonhee without even thinking about how Ashin would feel when she knew about it.

And there I was. Being the selfish one, wishing that I could have them both. Wishing that I could do both. Wishing that I could help Yoonhee and have Ashin wait for me because she understands me.

I’m sure she does. I was so sure Ashin would understand me. I knew she would get hurt but I was so sure she would understand me.

But then just when I was so sure of what Ashin would feel, I forgot the most important thing to consider.

Ashin was someone who never cared about someone else. And she was there, she fell for me just as hard as I fell for her. She risked her heart even though she was scared of doing so because I was so into telling her that I would take good care of her.

She’s my