Chapter 28: For Me and Only Me

Kris dragged me out of the Church and pushed me to the backseat of his car. It’s not his Corvette, it’s a BMW. Geez. Why does he have a lot of cars?

“Hey!” I whined as he followed suit.

He shut the door and then faced me, trapping me in between his arms.

He looked into my eyes. I don’t know why my whole system is starting to get jammed right now. Nothing seems to be doing the right job inside me. I can feel all the jitters and the butterflies and all. And he’s not even talking.

“Ashin,” he breathed.

Then bam! My everything is not setting into place. My lungs, my brain and my heart are not functioning well. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. And my heart is racing over the limit for the hundredth time that I am with him.

When will all these stop?

He swallowed as he looked into my eyes – deeper into my eyes. “Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?” He asked in his husky voice.

I gulped as I looked at him and try to stay away from him. But I was trapped between me and the other door.

He sighed hard and held my hand up to my head. Then he slowly leaned down and owned my lips. His eyes are closed and I couldn’t believe what he is doing.

It was harsh at first. But then he slowed the pace down and he is kissing me delicately this time. That’s when I started to close my eyes and respond to his lips.

He is kissing me passionately. With all the emotions he got that has piled up for those two weeks. Anger, frustration, pain and sadness. I could feel it with this kiss. I could feel it as he deepened the kiss.

I could feel all my energy draining out on me. I could feel my body giving up on me. I could feel it give itself to Kris.

Why do I feel like this?

That after all the efforts I put through to ignore him for the best, with just one ‘Ashin’, with just one kiss I could forget every principle I have. I could forget everything and just be with him.

Did I really fall that deep for me to act like this with Kris?

His hand traveled down to my face and cupped my cheeks, pulling me closer to him. I could feel my hands lock behind Kris’ neck.

What is happening to me?

I could feel him smile through the kiss but he wouldn’t break it. He was still kissing me passionately and I was responding just fine.

Is this even legit?

Why am I responding?

Ugh!

KIM ASHIN, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!

But no matter how I try to stop myself from all these, I don’t have the energy to. Or maybe I don’t have the will to. Maybe because somehow, I wanted this.

Kris suddenly broke the kiss and connected out foreheads. My eyes are closed. “I missed you. I miss you so damn much, Ashin.” He spoke then planted his lips on mine again.

He is kissing me again. And I am responding still. When will there be a stop to this?

He smiled and broke the kiss too soon. Wait. What? I should be happy that he broke the kiss.

“I love you.”

Did that come from me?

Kris suddenly looked at me with wide eyes. “What?” He asked.

I shut my eyes. . It really came from me. I thought I was just hallucinating.

I sighed and looked away. I don’t want to repeat it again. It’s just too not-so-Kim-Ashin-like. I don’t express my feelings this way. I don’t act as hopeless romantic.

K