Might double updating... maybe tonight. :)

After a few thoughts, i've realized that you, my AFF friends, are the best of all! I am not kidding. And I am not being emotional. Hehehe. Love you guys! :*

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Chapter 35: Broken

Something isn’t right.

I’m losing faith in everything that I know.

What do I know?

I’m listening to Secondhand Serenade tonight. And it’s just perfect because it’s playing the kind of song that I don’t want to hear right now.

My endorphins are down. And they’re even depleting because I am listening to something too sad and my tears are forming and are about to fall to my ears.

Stay away from me!

I need you too badly.

And it’s tearing me apart.

I shut my eyes and let my tears just fall. I’m just really glad that my mom isn’t home these past few days because she wouldn’t be able to see her only daughter cry for a boy.

When have I started to be this weak? It’s just so stupid because when I have finally tried to let someone in my life, he breaks me apart.

“Ashin?”

Minhyuk called me by the door. By now, he must have known that I am not fine. I am not fine and his friend is tearing me apart right now.

“Ashin, mind opening the door for me?” He asked me again as he turned the knob around. “Come on. I know what’s happening between you and Kris. Let me talk to you, okay?”

I cringed at the mention of his name. See? This is the reason why I hate myself. I think I have given him too much of myself that I couldn’t pull myself together again.

It’s stupid and ty and I don’t like it.

“Please, Ashin?”

I sighed and wiped my tears first before going to the door and opening it for Minhyuk. He was standing there, looking at me so worriedly.

“Please don’t cry.” He told me but I couldn’t take it. You know how ironic it is when someone asks you to not cry then your tears just start to fall like a waterfall? That was the feeling. I was trying to hold it in but when somebody mentions it, I lose it.

I guess I have loved him too much.

Minhyuk pulled me into a hug and there I bawled my heart out. I didn’t know it would hurt this much. I didn’t know it would sting like this.

I’ve always promised myself that I am not going to be the type of girl who would be crying for a guy. I promised myself that I will never lose myself for a guy. But what is really happening to me right now? I’m the saddest of sad. I’m the most broken of broken.

“He’s being an and you don’t have to cry for him, okay?” Minhyuk whispered to me.

I continued crying. If only I could tell myself to not cry for him, to not feel anything for him, to not be affected, I wouldn’t be crying and hurt like this. Hell, I just want my old self back.

That Kim Ashin who doesn’t even give a damn on boys. That Kim Ashin who doesn’t care about love. That Kim Ashin who’s strong. That Kim Ashin who doesn’t let people in.

That Kim Ashin would never be hurt. That Kim Ashin would never cry like this. That Kim Ashin would never be weak like this.

I just want the real me back.

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“Noona, eat this!”

Unfortunately, Gina is out for some personal family reasons for two days so, the J Brothers were with me during lunch time at school. Apparently, they knew what’s up and now, they