this was tweeted to me by nayumi kwon. CLICK

thanks a lot!!

*banner credits to stachzie!!

 

o=o=o

 

Envy ate my insides as I watched Bom and Youngbae exchanged wedding vows. Han Eul’s words echoed in my mind. Without even wanting to, an image of me in a wedding dress formed inside my head. I can see myself walking down the aisle, getting teary eyed as I saw the man I’m going to marry waiting for me near the altar. As if on their own accord, my eyes flew to Kwon Jiyong. Upon realizing that I was staring at him, I quickly looked away and shook my head.

 

As the wedding proceeded to the reception, I felt a strange elated feeling upon seeing the newlyweds looking so happy. I’m so happy for them, most especially for Youngbae.

 

“Seeing Bom and Youngbae make me want to marry tomorrow” I heard Seungri sighed. I chuckled and glanced at him. My smile froze for a moment then grew wider as I caught him giving CL a ‘look’ but the girl remained oblivious.

 

“Why don’t you ask CL then?” I .

 

He looked at me and snorted. “I don’t think I can handle another rejection from her. It’s – wait. How did you know about. . .?”

 

“You can be really obvious sometimes” I told him.

 

He looked at me with raised eyebrows. “For an observant like you, you can be quite blind too”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Jiyong” he simply answered.

 

“Seungri, please don’t ruin my mood”

 

“Sorry” he said. “It’s just that. . . . you don’t know what everyone felt after you left. He was like a living dead. Actually, he could have died already. If it weren’t from Sohee, he wouldn’t be here with us. But eventhough Sohee brought him out of his suicidal state, he didn’t really change that much. He still acts like he’s better off dead”

 

“Stop” I cut him off. “I don’t want to. . .”

 

“Sorry” he mumbled again. “I’ll shut up now”

 

A sense of uneasiness crawled to me. And no matter what I do, it won’t go away.

 

 

As the reception neared to its end, Jiyong’s absence didn’t escape my notice. It was already late in the evening and before I could stop myself or explain my actions to myself, I excused myself from everyone and started looking for him. he didn’t drown himself, did he? With that thought in mind, I scanned the shore with the reach of my eyes. My heart started thumping painfully against my chest when I didn’t see any sign of him. But I didn’t stop there. I ran to the other side of the shore, the darker part. I stopped in my tracks when I made out a silhouette. I narrowed my eyes and inched closer. There he was, lying on the sand, surrounded by a great number of empty bottles and cans of alcohol. My fists curled tightly as I broke into a run.

 

“Ya!” I yelled and kicked the sand into his face. He just grunted in response. “What do you think are you doing? If Bom or the guests finds you in this state. . . .!” I trailed then took a deep breath. “Get up!”

 

He didn’t budge.

 

“Will you show some respect to the newlyweds and the other guests?!”

 

“Aish! You’re so naggy!” he burst out and pushed himself up but he swayed to the side. I was able to catch him on time. Eventhough he was skinny and he lost weight, he was still a bit heavy for me. But I ignored that for the time being and put one of his arms on my shoulder. With that, I assisted him towards his room.

 

Upon reaching his room, I led him to his bed. He fell to the bed on his back. I sighed and looked at before shaking my head in dismay. I bent down and took his shoes off. I went to loosen the buttons of his black top when his hands suddenly circled my wrists. Without warning, he pulled me down on top of him.

 

Oh no, this is not good!

 

“Pancake” he whispered intimately. This is definitely not good. I can see and hear the cracks on the walls I’ve built getting bigger. I shouldn’t let this happen. I quickly pushed myself up but he just pulled me back on top of him. His hand rested on the small of my back while the other went to my nape, steadying my face. My fingers curled on the front of his shirt as he leaned his head up and claimed my lips.

 

I totally froze. My eyes went wide as a saucer. The familiar sense of contentment took over me and it was too overwhelming that it scared the wits out of me. I was about to pull away again when he suddenly changed our positions. He nipped on my lower lip playfully as his hand that’s on my back went to my thigh. His gentleness was making me weak that I lost the strength to resist him. I let go of his shirt and went to curl my fingers on his hair. Then, I kissed him back. I kissed him back as softly and gently as he was kissing me. But he broke the kiss, making me whimper in protest. He gave me a tiny peck on the lips and started kissing his way down to my neck. I threw my head back so he could explore me more. He was excruciatingly gentle that it almost made me cry.

 

My mind suddenly snapped at me at the thought of crying. Memories of me crying because of him flashed into my mind. All the tears I’ve shed because of him, all the pain and anger inside of me went bubbling up to the surface that it gave me enough strength to push him away.

 

“I’m sorry” I quickly said, my mind working double time to think for a good reason or excuse to tell him. “I thought you were Jae. It must be the alcohol. I had a few shots a while ago. . . .”

 

When he didn’t say anything, I stared heading towards the door. I was so eager to get out that my hands trembled when I reached for the knob.

 

“Stay”

 

I stiffened. The word was softly spoken, like a caress of the wind but I heard it. I’ve been dreaming of the day that he would stop pushing me away and ask me to stay instead but right now, I don’t know how to react to it.

 

“Stay” he repeated. “Just for tonight. After this, I assure you, you will never see me again. After this, I will never bother you again. I will be heading to Europe tomorrow to join Sohee. Just stay for tonight”

 

I took in an unsteady breath before turning around to face him. “I can’t” I said with a shrug. “Everytime I look at you, all I can see is the person down in the chamber. Everytime I set my eyes on you, all I can see is the person who killed me and my parents mercilessly. Everytime I look at you, all I can see is the person who repeatedly broke my heart. Now, how can you expect me to stay with you even for just a minute?”

 

I didn’t linger in his room. I don’t think I can last that long seeing the look in his face, most especially the look in his eyes. I ran to my room and locked the door behind me. I weakly leaned against it. I wanted to see him in pain, didn’t I? But why am I the one hurting here? And eventhough I didn’t want to, I started crying AGAIN. It seems like my tears are endless when it comes to him.

 

o=o=o

 

it was already five in the morning but I still haven’t gotten any sleep yet. It’s quite humiliating to think of it, but I cried the whole time. The tears won’t just stop pouring down!

 

I got out of bed and decided to take a walk down the beach. I went to the bathroom to do my morning rituals before heading out. I wasn’t really surprise when I saw how red and puffy my eyes were or how the tip of my nose was so red. I didn’t bother fixing my hair. I just went out of my room and started walking.

 

“Excuse me” I called as I saw a guy in uniform with two luggages in his arms, who befriended the other day I think. I just forgot his name. As far as I know, Bom and Youngbae will be flying for Europe for their honeymoon at 10. and besides, who would leave this early?

 

“Yes, Ma’am?”

 

“Whose things are those?” I asked.

 

“Oh, these are Mr. Kwon’s things. He’s flying with the newlyweds to Europe, I think he’s going after his fiancé” he laughed off.

 

“Oh” I mumbled. “Thank you”

 

So what? So what if he leaves? So what if he goes to Europe after his FIANCE? I don’t care!

 

I didn’t realize I already reached the shore up until the cold morning ocean breeze blew my way. I don’t care if he’s going after Sohee. I really don’t care!

 

Aish!

 

I shook my head and walked along the shore, hugging myself tightly. As I walked along the sand barefooted, I suddenly stepped on something. I stepped back and looked down to see what it was. I saw a glimpse off a silver chain but the rest of it was covered with sand. I bent down and picked it up.

 

A tear suddenly rolled down my cheek. I don’t know how it happened; I don’t know how it got washed away while I was walking along the shore. Is this a coincidence or just a game of fate? I clasped the black angel pendant in my hands and brought it to my chest. And the next thing I knew, I was crying already.

 

Who was I kidding? Who was I fooling? All this time, my feelings for him didn’t really change. The time when I was with Jae in Europe, I’ve been holding the pendant to my chest in before going to sleep; the time when I called Bom to meet up with him or feeling of being alive again when I saw him at the boutique after eight long months or why I was hurt seeing him hurting – it goes all down to one reason and that is, I was still holding on to him. All this time, I’ve been silently, stubbornly and desperately holding onto him.

 

I wasted eight months because I felt it was the right thing to do. I hated him because I felt it’s my responsibility to do so. I thought hating and staying away from the person who killed my parents was a simple responsibility as a daughter. I thought wanting to see him in pain for hurting me was the right thing to do. But after all this time, the need to be with him still runs through my veins. It will always be him that I want, need and love. And I don’t care if he’s already engaged to someone else. If I have to steal him away from that girl, I would. I’d do anything to get him back, to be with him again.

 

He’s mine.

 

Kwon Jiyong is MINE and mine alone. I’ll make sure that I’m his sole owner!

 

My feet started moving until I finally broke into a run towards his room. Lucky for me, the door wasn’t locked so without bothering to knock, I pushed the door open and closed it behind me again. I looked around in time to see Jiyong stepping out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. My eye immediately caught the necklace he was wearing and a lump automatically rose to my throat. He was wearing the necklace I gave him, the one I made! There it was. I thought he already threw it away but there it was!

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

 

I LOVE YOU! I wanted to scream but different words came from my mouth. “I found it” I told him, holding up the necklace he gave me.

 

His eyes pulled away from mine as he looked at the necklace I’m holding. A series of emotions came across his face so fast that I wasn’t able to name one of them. He then took a step forward. “How did you. . .?”

 

“It got washed away by the shore” I answered, close to sobbing. “I’m taking it back”

 

He looked at me, a frown on his forehead. “Well. . . if you want that back, fine” he shrugged then turned away.

 

“Jiyong, I love you”

 

He froze and I heard him took a sharp breath in. I don’t really care if I’m the one doing all the wooing again, just like how I was the one who ‘courted’ him. without wasting any more time, I rounded up on him and cupped his face in between my hands. I tiptoed and kissed him fully on the lips.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked, pushing me away.

 

“I’m taking you back!” I cried out loud. “I know I made mistakes, we both did. I know we’re both hurt and that we hurt each other but I don’t care anymore! Even if you hurt me before, I still want to be with you and I’ll do whatever it takes to stay beside you and to win you back! Even if I have to you, I would! If that’s what it takes to make you stay with me!”

 

Silence filled the room. Out of nowhere, he burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard that it made me cry seeing him laugh like there’s no tomorrow. But I already wasted eight months, eight LONG months. I can’t waste time watching him laugh his head off. With fierce determination, I cupped his face and crushed my lips onto his again.

 

“Wait” he pulled back. “We need to talk”

 

“We can talk some other time!” I hissed.

 

“But-“

 

I kissed him again.

 

“We. . . . need. . . .” he mumbled in between kisses. “. . . . to talk. . . .”

 

“Mmm…. later. . . .” I responded. “Let’s just. . . .mmm… let’s. . . . oh God, I missed you!” I breathed and pushed him down on the bed.

 

o=o=o

 

Nothing could amount to the happiness and contentment I’m feeling right now as I lay down in bed with Jiyong’s arm around me and the necklace back around my neck. He put it on me at one point while I was his name and nearing my . I blushed and cuddled myself closer to his bare chest, smiling.

 

“Pancake?”

 

“Mmm?” he murmured.

 

“I love you” I whispered and felt myself blushed again. As usual, he kept his silence. Instead, he planted a kiss on my hair.

 

“Dara, we need to talk” he then said.

 

I grimaced a little. “You’re ruining the mood. We can TALK some other time and when we do, promise me you won’t keep anything from me. No more secrets between us from now on”

 

“I can’t promise you that” he sighed. “But I can tell you one secret”

 

“Really? What is it?” I eagerly asked and raised my face to him.

 

He smiled down at me and caressed my left cheek. “I love you” he said.

 

My eyes started to sting again. Not long after that, I was bawling out loud. He pulled me closer to him and hugged me tightly as he laughed at me. But that’s all that matters to me right now. For now, Jiyong’s hug and confession are all that matters.

 

We can face the issue of him having a fiancé together. We can face other issues and problems together from now on. Yes, we’ll face everything TOGETHER. Nothing could separate us anymore, right? I mean, what worst thing could there be in store for us?

 

But we don’t have to face them right away. For now, I just want to make up for the eight months I lost with him

 

 

--------

the end already? nyahaha