~JAEJOONG’S POV~

 

I decided to bring Dara to my place. Seeing her in this state made me remember the times when I was like her, the time when she broke up with me and chose Jiyong. Yes, I can see myself in her. But the thing is, she looked worst than me. She was curled in a tight ball with her hands clutched on her chest. The sound of her sobs put a lump on my throat. I know it will take some time for her to stop crying so I decided to leave her alone in the room first to give her time for herself. I’m pretty sure she won’t talk to anyone at this time; she won’t even attempt to eat or get out of bed. Time and being alone is all I could give her right now.

 

I went to get myself a drink. As the alcohol ran down my throat, I heaved a sigh. I don’t know what’s really going on in Jiyong’s mind or why suddenly turned Dara over to me. I asked him what’s going on but he didn’t say anything. He just told me to do my part of the deal. I should be happy with what’s happening lately but I can’t find any tinges of happiness inside me after seeing Dara like that. I snorted. Yeah, maybe I’m too kind for a shadow. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to lie, too. I kept secrets from Dara before, even lied to her before.

 

I’ve been wishing for Dara to return to me but not in this state. I admit it’s gut wrenching seeing her so broken because of another guy. All those time when I was sulking in my room, drowning myself with alcohol - I’ve been asking myself what Jiyong have that I don’t have, what Dara saw in him that she didn’t see in me. Up until now, I still don’t have any answer. I can’t help but blame myself sometimes. I knew from the very start that Dara seemed. . . . different towards Jiyong despite all the rumors surrounding him. But still, I asked Jiyong to watch over her when I went away. At that time, I ignored the risk or the possible consequences of my decision because Dara’s safety came first on my list of priorities. Call me stupud or whatever, but I’m fine being second place in Dara’s life as long as I can be with her.

 

o=o=o

 

it’s been two days since I brought Dara to my place and as expected, she remained in her room – crying and not talking. She hasn’t taken anything by mouth so I decided to give her some IV fluids since I know I can’t force her to eat just yet. I understand how she feels, I’ve been there. But in time, I’ll have to make her face the truth. In time, I’ll have to make her realize that Jiyong left her already.

 

I watched her tear-stained face as she sleeps. It would be foolish to deny my own pain. Up until now, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Dara’s in love with Jiyong. As I reached out to caress her face, I heard the sound of the door bell echoing through the whole house. I frowned at this. Who would visit me in this late hour? With curiosity leading me, I went to open the door.

 

“Bom” I acknowledged.

 

“Is Dara here?” she asked.

 

“Yes, why?”

 

“We’ve been looking for her” she said. “I should have known she’d be here. Can I come in?”

 

“Of course” I nodded and stepped aside to let her in.

 

“How is she?” she asked as I led her inside.

 

“She’s okay. . . . physically”

 

“My friends are worried about her” she said.

 

“Do you have any idea why Jiyong is doing this?”

 

“No” she sighed. “But I know he got good reasons for doing this. And before you judge Jiyong, I’d like to inform you that he cares for Dara. I even believe he loves her as much as you love her”

 

“I’m not judging him” I defended myself. “I figured that part myself. He came to me, you know. He said he’s giving me Dara back and he told me to take care of her. Then, he ordered that no matter what happen, I have to keep her alive”

 

Bom sighed. “He asked me to do something, too but I don’t know if I should tell DAra about it because she might take it wrongly. But since Jiyong trusted you with Dara’s welfare and since you’re involved, I think you deserve to know about it, too”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“It’s about a prediction for-“

 

“I don’t really believe in-“

 

“The fortune teller isn’t just any fortune tellers or the fraud ones. This one’s for real and she’s a distant cousin of or family and I wish you won’t say that to anyone. Anyways. This fortune teller’s quite popular among native healers and local shadows and since you didn’t really grow up here, I bet you don’t know about her”

 

I stayed silent. After a while, I decided to hear it out. “Okay” I nodded. “Tell me all about it”

 

o=o=o

 

o=o=o

 

“You’re still up” I ushered, startled.

 

“I’m actually waiting for you” she said in a whisper. “I want to talk to you”

 

I closed the door behind me and went to sit at the edge of the bed. “What is it?”

 

“Was I. . . . was I a bad girlfriend to you?”

 

I leaned back a little, surprised with the question. “No” I finally answered.

 

“Was I a burden? Was there something wrong with me as a girlfriend?”

 

“No, no” I shook my head. “You’re more than perfect, Dara. You’re sweet, caring, funny, char-“

 

“No. . . .” she suddenly cried. “You’re lying! There must be something wrong with me! Jiyong would not break up with me if that’s not the case! PLEASE! Tell me what’s wrong with me!”

 

I reached out to pull her in my arms. “Oh, Dara. Don’t feel that way. . .”

 

“Somehing’s wrong with me. . . .” she sobbed. “Oh God, I missed him so much! This is all my fault. . .”

 

I hugged her tighter. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault”

 

“I’m being punished. . .” she cried. “I’m being punished because I cheated on you, because I hurt you, I lied to you. . . “

 

“Dara, please don’t say that”

 

“I deserve this. . .”

 

“No, you don’t! Nobody deserve to get hurt”

 

“I do” she breathed. “We lie to you. . . the pictures. . . I didn’t really slap him, I didn’t push him away. I kissed him back, Jae. . .! I’m a bad person. . . I deserve all this pain. . .!”

 

“No, you don’t!”

 

“It hurts so much. . .” she cried.

 

I just let her cry then. I just listened to everything she said and decided to keep my silence. Eventhough it hurts me to see her like this, I felt proud from the fact that I’m the one who’s comforting her, that I’m the one here with her, that I’m hugging her, that I’m beside her when she needed someone the most. I can stay like this forever, I guess. Yes, u can do that as long as I’m with her. She can lean on me as long as she wants. She can cry on my shoulders as long as she wants. That’s how much I love her.

 

“Jae?” she called in a husky voice.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Can you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone. . . .”

 

“I understand”

 

“Thank you”

 

“No problem”

 

I love you, my mind whispered. Right now, I want to believe that time heals all wounds. Maybe in time, she’ll want to be with me again. Maybe. . .

 

o=o=o

 

~DARA’S POV~

 

It’s hard. . . it’s hard not to cry. It’s hard not to tell the pain. It’s hard to miss him. It’s hard to forget him. It’s hard to not love him. No matter ho much pain I’m feeling right now, I still want to be with him, I still want to forgive him, I still want to start over. I’ve never been this needy and clingy before. The scene where he begged me to let him go hurt the most.  It was more painful that seeing those women in his bed or all the harsh things he said to me. Eventhough I want to run to my parents, I can’t. They might think ill of Jiyong. I don’t want that. I don’t want my parents to think that Jiyong’s a bad guy, that he’s not the one for me. I don’t want them to say that they were right about him all along. Nothing’s wrong with Jiyong, it’s me. He wouldn’t break up with me if I was enough for him, if I wasn’t a burden to him, if there’s nothing wrong with me.

 

I don’t really want to think if life without Jiyong. It’ll only kill me. But maybe I can be selfless for once. Maybe I should just forget my own happiness so he can have his. If his freedom will make him happy, shouldn’t I give him that? I took an unsteady breath. No, I don’t want to let him go. But what if that’ll make him happy? I clutched the blank angel and held it in my chest.

 

Then, there’s Jae. I know it’s hard for him seeing me like this. I saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice and felt it in his gestures. But I can’t be selfless all the time. Honestly, I need him right now. I need someone who can make me feel that I’m wanted, that there’s nothing wrong with me. But up to what point am I going to need him? I can’t always take and take everything he gives me. I have to give something back to him.

 

I’ll make pancakes, I decided. I suddenly stopped. I felt my whole body trembling. My vision was starting to get blurry. Funny how one word can make me like this. Pancakes. No, I can’t give Jae that. I took a deep breath and decided to just make him a sandwich. Yes, that’s right.

 

I made my way to the kitchen but I past upon a corner where I heard hushed, urgent voices.

 

“It’s Jiyong” Bom’s familiar voice said. “There’s no mistaking it. it’s him”

 

“But why would he do that?”

 

“I don’t know, either” Bom sighed wearily.

 

“Do you think it has something to do with HER?”

 

“I think so but I’m not sure” she answered. “Should we tell Dara about this? She-”

 

“No” Jae cut off. “She won’t take it if she finds out that-“

 

“If I find out what?” I came out, unable to take it anymore. The both of them gave a startled jump.

 

“Dara, you’re up” Jae said. “Are you hungry? I could-“

 

“If I find out what, Bom?” I turned to her.

 

“You look awful” she said.

 

“If I find out what, Bom?2 I repeated through grinding teeth.

 

“W-well, I. . . .”

 

“IF I FIND OUT WHAT?!” I exploded.

 

“It’s Jiyong” Jae finally said.

 

“Why? What happened? Is he alright? Did something happen?”

 

“He’s fine2 he said. “We just. . .”

 

“What?” I asked sharply.

 

“We suspect . . . . no, I’m sure of it. there’s been an incidence of robbery in one of the convenience store here and a case of of one of the students from your school. It so happened, Jiyong was caught on the store’s CCTV but his face was covered. But I know it’s him – the height, the getup, the stand. Then. . . the girl. . . . Seungri saw what happened. He tried to stop Jiyong but he knocked Seungri out. The girl on the other hand, stated that all she can remember are the black eyes – the got all-black eyes. It’s on the news”

 

“It’s not him. . . .” I denied, shaking my head. “He would never. . . . he would never do that! and you’re supposed to be his friend! How can you think of him that way?!”

 

“Exactly my point! I’ve know him for years and when I saw that footage from the convenience store, I can’t be mistaken!” she exploded back.

 

“No. . . .” I denied again as tears started to fall. “That’s not true. . . he would. . . Sulli! It’s Sulli! She poisoned Jiyong’s mind just like what she did to Youngbae! She did this! She-!”

 

“I saw Jiyong in school” Jae quietly. “I can say he’s not being manipulated, Dara. He even talked to me. He was himself. I saw it. He wasn’t being manipulated. As for Sulli, she dropped out. I tried to watch her house but it seemed like no one’s there”

 

My mind was in chaos. I can’t even understand everything he’s saying. “You said. . . you said Jiyong talked to you. W-what did he say?” I almost choked.

 

“Dara, I don’t really think that’s a good idea”

 

“I want to know!” I snapped.

 

Jae sighed. “He thanked me for taking you in and he told me to keep you away from him”

 

Oh God! I don’t think I can take this anymore!

 

“I don’t believe you” I whispered.

 

“I think he’s just being rational” Bom said.

 

“Bom” Jae said in a warning voice.

 

“It’s time for her to wake up” Bom said.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Remember the reason why we broke up?” she asked, crossing her arms in her chest. Without waiting for my answer, she continued. “It so happened that the fortune teller’s NOT one of the gazillion fake ones out there, she’s the real thing. She said Jiyong will. . . .” she paused, as if searching for words. “She said Jiyong will be. .  seriously involved with someone who’s meant for a person who’s about to come. At first, I thought it was me but when she went on, I realized it wasn’t me. It was you”

 

“W-what are you trying to say?”

 

“You and Jiyong aren’t meant to be” she bluntly said. “You’re destined to be with Jaejoong”

 

Silence.

 

A heartbeat passed.

 

And then another.

 

“You’re joking” I finally said.

 

“Do you really think I’ve got time to joke around with everything’s happening here?”

 

“No. . . .” I breathed. “You’re lying. You’re just saying this because both of you got motives. You want Jiyong for yourself while Jae wants me!”

 

SLAP!

 

 

 

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*a/n: *evil laugh* i'm a masked shadow.. lol

 

 

oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANJILAH (from twitter) (did i get the spelling correct? it's Saturday today, so here's an update for you! hehe..