beginning the slow journey to the end of this dang fic

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Jae's POV

No one seems to have brought up the fact that I ditched school yesterday. Well, that was completely fine by me. I slouched in my seat, and got the vague impression that the boy on my right was staring intensely at me.

Key, please no.

Stop.

I buried my face into my arms, hitting my head against my desk before glancing up to look nonchalantly at Key, who appeared to have a crazed, manic matchmaker look in his eyes. We maintained eye contact for several seconds before he assumed an expression that could be described as, ‘I completely forgot to yell at Jae for ditching school yesterday!’

Ah.

But someone else beat him to it.

“Where’d you go yesterday?” Jonghyun tapped my shoulder from behind me. I twisted my head to talk to him. “I uh, had to get away. From the reporters.” I coughed. Nearly dying really takes a toll on a person… And I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out. And I did, and I got to talk to Jung again.

Before anyone else could comment, the teacher came in.

I effectively tuned out whatever she was saying and absently doodled.

***

Lunch swung on by, to everyone’s relief and soon I was up at the lunch line, purchasing a small bag of chips because I wasn’t really hungry. And then I was sitting down next to Taemin. I was feeling strangely at peace. It was probably nothing crazy had yet happened today.

Of course, the moment my touched the seat, a swarm of reporters flew into the room. They were like a literal swarm of insects, buzzing with questions and sweaty armpits.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was probably now famous. Well, that sounds like fun. As the same questions entered my ear and left out the other, I found the chips beginning to crumble in my hands. It was a blessing that the film crew forced their way through, and that the principal had to call the police to get all of the reporters out. Though, it was rather gratifying to watch many of the especially pushy reporters get dragged out by force. I was sort of stuck in a daze, watching the doors long after all the reporters had cleared out and then students had resumed their usual chatter.

I could vaguely hear Key’s voice. Probably lecturing me on ditching. The fuzzy sound sharpened, and I blinked, glancing around.

Taemin had a hand on my shoulder, the other waving in front of my face.

“Sorry.” I mumbled. I suddenly felt sick, the past events catching up with me again. For some reason, I couldn’t quite truly adjust to the fact that I had saved Taemin. And that both of us had nearly died. SHINee probably had a terrible time dealing with the press as well. I just felt really worn out. Sure, this morning had been better, what with clearing everything up with Faia, but my body just slipped back into this state. I probably wasn’t even mentally stable. The event had happened, then there had been the lag of time where I was cheerful and happy and not quite getting the fact that I had almost died. There had been happiness and drama and fun times with Taemin, Jung and Faia. There had been plaguing nightmares that left me feeling drained.

And it all caught up to me now. Seeing what was visible of the bruises on Taemin reminded me of it, though most of them were artfully covered in makeup. Yes, his concussion had healed. But spanning his entire body were blue marks and scratches that brought me back to that painful moment of seeing him under Kangdae’s power. I stared blankly at the half-empty chip bag in front of me, and then at Taemin, who was watching me with a concerned expression. Turning my own head, I saw the fake mask that covered up his face.

And beneath the thick layers I could see the faint traces of injuries. In his eyes I could sense the feeling of being in danger. It was a look that wouldn’t go away for long, considering what he had gone through. Seeing Taemin’s face was a like slap in my face. For a brief second it felt like a knife was digging into my cheek, cutting my flesh. The pain sparked other memories. Glass breaking as I slammed into it. Muscles straining as I brought Taemin to safety, legs dragging on the ground.

I was being overwhelmed with sheer agony.

Instantly I stood up, nearly bumping the table as I did. I hadn’t heard a single word from the people at the table, despite the fact they’d been talking for the past ten minutes. “Bathroom.” I muttered, and then stalked out of the spacious lunchroom, eyes following as I did.

I wanted it to stop.

The cold water hit my face, clearing up my mind. I splashed several handfuls of the cool liquid on my face, sending a brief but welcome feeling of rejuvenation. And then the mirror.

The x-shaped scab was so blaringly obvious, dark and red against my light, slightly blemished skin.

I needed to get over it. Several days had passed already since the incident. Taemin seemed mostly past it. I don’t understand how, though. Maybe he had nightmares, too.

***

I had needed time to fully recover myself, despite being fit enough to go to school. It had to do with my mental stability. My emotional stability. No, I wasn’t going insane. But going through what I did really just hit me, like a sack of bricks. After heading to the bathroom in school, I had called my parents and asked them to pick me up, suddenly in tears.

I had gone home and cried to them. For the few days between the incident and now, I had been unusually stable and okay. A few bouts of shaking, right after arriving at the hospital, but that had been all. The reaction I was having now, breaking down completely, should have happened the moment I stepped foot in the hospital.

I guess I was just really good at keeping myself together at first. All the tightly woven confidence I had used to tie myself together began to unravel. My smiles and jokes and happy personality faded away as I wept. The façade I hadn’t known I had shown to Taemin and Jung melted off, and I was left a trembling mess of raw emotion and shock.

My mother had smoothed her hands through my hair, holding me close, whispering comforting words to me. my hand. Wiped away my tears. Rocked me gently to sleep.

And that had been my breakdown. I guess not even I could be strong all the time.

I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed. I had emptied my system of the roiling emotions I had acquired, and recalled the one piece of good news, which was that I had a chance with Taemin. Faia had backed off. Taemin was close with me.

And perhaps he was the only one that could possibly understand what I went through. He was there. He left that warehouse bruised and broken, like I had.  He had been terrified.

Just like I had.

I stepped into the shower, the needles of water rolling down my body. I really did feel much better, though I didn’t feel very talkative. I rubbed shampoo into my scalp, rinsed it out and then applied conditioner, and then realized with almost surprise that I was humming. It wasn’t to any particular rhythm, but it was a simple, pretty tune that carried through my entire morning. It was sort of like a rebirth. A complete change from last night. Truly though, I had really needed it. I had really needed to let it all out.

My spirits ran high, and even the prospect of school could not dampen them. Though, I was not looking forward to explaining what happened to SHINee.

I arrived at school, feeling rather chipper as I nearly skipped to my locker, early enough to be one of the only two students in the hallways. My footsteps echoed in the hallway. As I pulled out the needed books and binders from my locker, I felt a tapping at my shoulder.

Key.

He was alone, though. The apology feel from my lips in an instant.

“I’m sorry for leaving yesterday, like that.” I shut my locker, holding onto my books. “I just uh, needed time.” I said lamely. “Where’s everybody else?” Key’s arms were folded.

“I came early.” He replied, looking me over sternly, taking in my puffy eyes. Yea, I had cried, but that had been last night. Key exhaled a big breath, his expression softening. “It’s okay. Just don’t worry us again.” He finished off, and then patted my head.

The gesture nearly made me tear up because having a friend that cared enough to come early to check up on me was so nice.

Shortly after Key collected his needed supplies, we moved towards our classroom, our chatter relatively light until we sat down in the empty classroom.

“So.” He began, now sounding amused. “Taemin.” I almost reflexively choked. But after having done that the past several times someone mentioned him to me like that, I managed to merely send him a look.

“What about?” I replied, knowing very well what this was about. Key’s smile widened, and I sighed. There wasn’t much time to say anything else, because the rest of the SHINee band had entered, flanked by their camera crew and several students. I wonder how the film crew was exactly putting together their show. It wasn’t really interesting to watch the boys go about doing work.

In the brief time before the teacher arrived, I whispered apologies to everyone, and seeing Taemin sit down beside me and smile literally made my day.

The classes passed quickly and it was a good relief to me to see that SHINee was talking and joking with me as always. Like real friends. Even if Key had some evil plans up his sleeve. At lunch I cleared things up with Hana and enjoyed a nice meal of beef and noodles. Beef was always good. The day couldn’t have been going better.

As everyone at the table finished eating, Key clapped his hands together.

“So, I heard that there’s a Christmas Dance.” He announced, albeit a little too loudly. A few girls nearby gasped and turned to listen. Key promptly flashed them a smile, and then turned back to whisper. “Good thing the film crew is elsewhere.” He mentioned, and then shot me a look. “Although they will definitely be filming us at the dance. I believe we all need partners.”

SHINee was aghast. I think Taemin might have glanced at me. Or that may have been me imagining things. Even more interesting, I think Minho may have glanced in Hana’s direction.

Ooh…

Key might have picked up on that. “It would make us look bad to show up alone.” He added, and then the others reluctantly agreed. IT was true, though. Jonghyun seemed sort of okay, but I wasn’t really sure if he was capable of finding a sane partner.    

“And I suppose you already have a partner?” I inquired. Key looked at me, matching my gaze.

“Maybe.” He shrugged, and then sent a smirk in my general direction. “But we all know who you’re going to be going with.” Key tacked on, and I wondered why I had ever tried to embarrass him in the first place. I closed my eyes, sinking into the table as everyone me.

I wondered what Taemin was thinking. Key was silently cackling.

Jonghyun rolled his eyes. “Yes, Key, we all know Minho has to go with her. Keep up the image, right?” He replied for me, and Key nearly fell over. It was quite comical.