Jae’s POV

I’ll spare you the details of my parents freaking over me and wondering why I get into trouble so much, why I also get hurt, why I’m with idols, the usual. Nevertheless, still proud, amazed and all that crap. I wasn’t in the best mood. You can most likely guess why.

If not… Then just guess.

I plopped down onto my chair and grumbled, the image of Faia and Taemin pretty much burned into my brain. Then I put my head on the table and covered it with my arms, letting myself finally sulk and be in hate-the-world mode. I know, judging from what I saw, it most likely would have been an accident, and I tried to comfort myself with that.

And then I reminded myself I was supposed to be supporting Faia. Why does the world have to be so tough?

WHY DO I HAVE TO LIKE HIM IN FIVE DAYS? I gritted my teeth, bracing myself if my eyes were planning to spill.

None came, surprisingly. Frustrated, I whipped my drawer open, taking out a sketchbook and a notebook.

…

Notebook. It was a new one, with nothing inside. I hadn’t needed it yet.

Selecting a mechanical pencil, I began to write my annoyance out, in small ideas and thoughts, in English just to make the process more difficult. Capital letters all the way.

I AM ING UPSET.

I HATE THE ING WORLD RIGHT NOW.

Good start. I tapped my chin, wondering what I should go with next.

LEE TAEMIN IS A ING IDOL.

FAIA LIKES LEE TAEMIN.

I LIKE LEE TAEMIN.

There’s pretty much the whole problem.

I REALLY LIKE LEE TAEMIN.

The emphasis is now embedded into the paper with the lead.

BUT FAIA IS MY BEST FRIEND.

I CAN’T HATE HER.

I PROMISED TO SUPPORT HER.

WHAT THE DO I DO?

Good thing I was pretty good in English. I learned it on my free time, using the lovely lovely internet.

LEE TAEMIN PROBABLY LIKES

I paused, and then I really began to think. Would anyone find me appealing?

Attractive?

What are the positives in my personality?

I began to count. One, two, seven… my mouth opened when I found I had a lot. You know, always try to be nice, am funny, loyal, cheerful (sometimes), whatnot.

Negatives?

Is being way too unique a negative?

Then I collapsed when I realized I was conceited because I couldn’t find a negative. Except, for like, my looks.

So, the list is now: Conceited, ugly.

Oh yeah. I’m on a roll.

I glanced down at my paper, and began a new line.

LEE TAEMIN PROBABLY LIKES

LEE TAEMIN SHOULD LIKE

LEE TAEMIN LIKES

LEE TAEMIN MOST LIKELY SHOULD LIKE

LEE TAEMIN LO-

AISH. I scribbled out that last line, when I realized with a guilty surge of hope that Taemin might, by the slightest percentage, like me more than Faia. Faia, to me, had more flaws, and I felt sort of horrible saying that. But I couldn’t write down a name.

She can get angry really easily, whereas I usually never do. Someone ist talked to her? She’d reply with an entirely censored line.

If you think I’m going to go on a list of her flawed personality traits, forget it, since no one is flawless.

I looked down at my now creased paper, from writing too hard and scribbling the last line, and wrote some more.

I AM ING UPSET.

I HATE THE ING WORLD RIGHT NOW.

LEE TAEMIN IS A ING IDOL.

FAIA LIKES LEE TAEMIN.

I LIKE LEE TAEMIN.

I REALLY LIKE LEE TAEMIN.

BUT FAIA IS MY BEST FRIEND.

I CAN’T HATE HER.

I PROMISED TO SUPPORT HER.

WHAT THE DO I DO?

LEE TAEMIN PROBABLY LIKES

LEE TAEMIN PROBABLY LIKES

LEE TAEMIN SHOULD LIKE

LEE TAEMIN LIKES

LEE TAEMIN MOST LIKELY SHOULD LIKE

LEE TAEMIN LO-

I DON’T ING KNOW WHO TAEMIN LIKES!

I’M STILL ING UPSET.

TAEMIN AND FAIA KISSED.

BY ACCIDENT, I THINK AND HOPE.

IF TAEMIN LIKES FAIA, FAIA BETTER DAMN WELL TREAT HIM WELL.

SAME TO TAEMIN.

WHO DOES TAEMIN LIKE?

I AM ING UPSET.

It’s a masterpiece, I know. With an annoyed sigh, I pushed the notebook back and slumped in my chair.

OHMIGOD.

I really started crying.

Silently, I mean.

So, when the events of past few days really, finally caught up with me, I was a sobbing mess of myself. SHINee, hated, beaten up several times, Yunhee, Faia’s confession, suspension, then un-suspension, hanging out with Faia and having to somewhat distance myself from Taemin, Taemin almost ING DYING, me jumping in and almost ING DYING, dragging an almost ING DYING Taemin back, going to the hospital, taking care of Taemin with Faia, seeing the two ING KISS and dealing with my parents AND I’M ING ANNOYED BY IT ALL.

Never been this upset, recalling the terror of Taemin’s almost-murder, the terror of dying myself, the terror of seeing Faia kiss Taemin, I punched the kick-bag in the corner of my room, where it fell over and I went on a rampage.

If rampage means looking around, realizing that breaking things is stupid, and collapsing in a pile on the floor, then yeah, I went on a rampage.