forty-one

—

hye jin.

That Kwon Dong Jun, the soccer club's team captain, and also, a classmate of mine, won't stop on babbling about how much he'll miss "his beloved school" by the time he would graduate. "You know what else I'll miss?" The tone of his voice sounded so enthusiastic. "My teammates." He grinned ever so widely. Dong Jun's slightly tanned face creased, revealing the wrinkles by the side of his eyes everytime he would flash a smile. "You know! Lee Jae Kyung, Nam Kwang Soo, Do Sang Hoon, and... Ah!" He clicked his tongue and raised his index finger out of the blue. "That... That Jung Taek Woon!" 

At short notice, I took a glance at the noisy one. The conversation forthwith sounded interesting. Spontaneously, I got interested in his little talk because of that Jung Taek Woon. Couldn't help it though. Dong Jun kept on talking about how much he'll miss the quiet man and that he was so much fun to tease with and all. He became the talk of the town when he scored the winning goal at the tournament. His name boomed throughout the entire school. 

Everyone now compliments his features, but before, they didn't. 

Everyone was interested in him. Pronto. But before, they weren't. 

Everyone compliments him, yet, even before they knew of him, they belittled him. 

Lately, everyone knew his name, but in the past, they didn't even try to remember.

It might've sounded like I was such a know-it-all since I "knew" these little facts. To be honest, I didn't know - It felt it. Everytime my eyes would instinctively land on Taek Woon, I could feel that... That he was alone. A little lamb lost in a middle of a vast field. And that he couldn't quite put his thoughts into words, so he speaks very little. For that reason, everyone misunderstands him.

I kind of felt glad that some people finally understood him. But then again, no matter when something good appears, something bad will come up next. And I consider this weird, unhappy feeling in my gut a bad thing. Why? Because it was such a selfish wish...

I didn't want others to perceive him. I wanted to be the only one who understands him. 

So that I would be someone special.

"Get over it." I told Dong Jun; he who was surrounded with a lot of other people. "There's the regionals, and you'll gain even more members now that the freshmen are here. There's still a lot of time before we graduate." I sighed and left the room. "Ah geez! Don't sass on me!" I heared Dong Jun yell. Whenever I would exit the place, everyone would always think that I'm the type to "back out" when it comes to sensitive topics. I mean, graduating isn't really that much of a touchy topic, right? I mean, we're just gonna graduate. It's not the end of the world. As a matter of fact, there's not much time before we graduate... I kept my eyes glued to the ground and pondered about some things which weren't much of importance. "I wonder what they will say about you when they see you like this..." I faked a smile. "The cool and almighty Hye Jin is gone at this moment." 

When I reached the campus, I saw a bunch of second and first years. But my eyes only focused to one. 

—

I could clearly remember the first time I felt attracted to Jung Taek Woon. It was when he was practicing soccer. And... Right then and there, he smiled. A smile I've never seen before. A smile so calm and genuine, and alleviating, and gentle. I felt at peace; it was so comforting that anytime I would see his wonderful smile, my eyes would droop, and I would melt a little. The way he swiftly moves around the field also caught my attention... Taek Woon's athletic side, the side of him that shows how much he puts on all of his effort just to reach his goal. My chest would tighten each time I think about it. I often asked myself, "How in the world did you fall for a lame person like that?" I would always laugh at myself for admiring Taek Woon, but now I started questioning my real emotions. 

I fixed myself and tried to go bring my mood back. I was about to approach him when I saw something totally discouraging unravel before me. I was taken aback.

Taek Woon smiled at Soo Ah. The smile I described of. 

Why does it have to be her? I don't understand...

If you love a person, that much is enough, right?

So why does my love keep failing me?

—