It's nearly been a week since I last spoke to Jongin. Come to think of it, the last time we spoke, we didn't even really speak to each other. Mindless bickering between the two of us eventually lead to waiting for him for two hours in the cold only to have him text me that he wasn't going to show up. At least a call would've been nice. Up until now, I don't think I'll ever forget the way he was so sure that I was cheating on him with L. I told him so many times that he's the only one I see. 

With one thing leading to another, all I hear is people asking me what I'm doing to celebrate the new year. They ask me if I'll try to spend it with Jongin. They ask if I'm going to be okay. Pity is the last thing I need, and I tell them that I'll spend this new years alone because there's no way that Jongin will be willing to speak to me just for the sake of pity. 

"I'm serious unni, I think it's time that you tried texting Jongin oppa," Dahye said carefully. The week had passed, and Dahye was back at Gwangju to finish up her third year in high school. She wasn't thrilled about going back to her regular routine, but after promising her that I would visit as much as I could, she reluctantly agreed. I suppose it helped that she made daily phone calls to me in hopes of lifting my mood after all that had been happening the past week. 

I rolled around to my side and switched my phone into my other hand. "I really don't think I should. Dahye, as much as I want to be able to text him and call him, he's the one who ditched me that day, remember?"

She groaned, "I know, but you know how hard headed he can be sometimes. He probably can't call you back because his pride won't let him, so you have to be the one to do it first." I mumbled back an incoherent answer and I could tell that Dahye was rolling her eyes on the other line. "It's almost January, you know that right?" her voice was quieter than usual, and I knew exactly what she meant by January. 

"His birthday," I whispered. "I almost forgot that he's taking over the company in a couple weeks..."

"My mom will definitely want you at the party," Dahye sighed, "You are going to come right?"

I rubbed my forehead in frustration while sitting up straighter in bed. There was no way that Mrs. Kim would let me off the hook for missing Jongin's birthday, especially when the Kim's hotel line would be handed over to him. "Should I? I don't think I want to see him anytime soon," I bit my lip. Even thinking about Jongin made my heart clench. 

"As much as you don't want to, he will," she said softly. "He needs you there. He's never going to tell you that, but you know he needs you there when they announce everything."

I silently agreed with Dahye, thinking back to Jongin's eyes that were filled with fear and innocence when we spoke about his parents. That's when I saw Jongin at his weakest. When he knew that he wasn't in control of his future and he knew that there was a plan set up for him alreadythat wasn't ideal to his. 

"By the way, how has it been going with Krystal? Has she been bothering you lately since the Christmas party?" Dahye questioned. 

"Actually, she's been staying quiet these days," I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking back to Krystal who hadn't done anything to me since the party. It was strange, she has all the power to finish me off with that one photograph, yet she hasn't done anything with it. "Did you hear anything from SM?"

"No, but what I have heard is that Exo's team work has been really off ever since Jongin oppa found out about me and Sehun," she sighed, "Sehun oppa told me that he refuses to talk to him, and even on stage, their formations look strange because he's been avoiding Sehun as much as possible. Apparently after the night you and Jongin oppa fought, his performance the next day was the worst one he's done ever since his debut."

Was I supposed to feel bad for him? I knew as much as it affected me, it must have affected Jongin too, but I never imagined that it would have affected his performance. "What is he going to do? Exo's end of the year performance is tomorrow and they need to pull it together for that or else they're not going to win the rookie award."

Dahye groaned, "That's why I'm saying that you should settle this with him tonight. At least text him? Please? I only ask you this because I know how much it's hurting him too."

But there's really no point Dahye...It's better this way. "I can't, I'm sorry. I'm really happy that you and Jongin are talking again, so please don't do anything to make him mad again. But as for me, I have my own reason for not being able to talk to him, trust me, please?" 

A minute of silence passed before I heard Dahye sigh again, "You do always have a reason for your actions, don't you?" 

My lips tugged up into a forced smile, "Of course."

The next day at the studio, everyone seemed more frantic than usual.