They were strangers now. No more screaming or crying for help at night, study sessions until early in the morning, no more awakening up besides Eunhyuk, no more of anything that was related to the dancer.

After the kiss he saw between the girl and Eunhyuk, Donghae had run back into Siwon’s arms. And even if they both knew he couldn’t share the other feelings for now, Donghae accepted for them to try and start by being roommates. The brunet decided that it was time for him to move on,forgetting everything about Eunhyuk. This relationship wasn’t healthy for either one of them. And now that things were getting better with his parents again, Donghae wanted to try starting things fresh and start things over, without any complications. Eunhyuk was only trouble and complications.

Donghae didn’t want to go to class after all what happend… he just wanted to stay in his bed moping. On the other hand he didn’t want to show the dancer how much he was affected and courageously went to class. But this time it was the dancer, who was nowhere to be found, he didn’t come to any of the classes of the day. It was the same the next day, and the day after that. Like this, one week passed again in the blink of an eye. The brunet didn’t see Eunhyuk in class, or during practice and not even for  meal times. It was as if he had vanished. Donghae had mixed feelings about it. On one hand he was relieved that he didn’t have to be around Eunhyuk anymore, but on the other hand he couldn’t help but to be concerned a little bit. So one day he decided to ask Sungmin about him.

“So… are you still in touch with Eunhyuk ? »

“Knowing that he is my best friend, yes we are still in touch. Why?”

“I was wondering if you had heard any news about him…”

“I heard that you got divorced.” Kyuhyun said playfully.

They were in the boy’s room and Donghae tought he was alone studying with the blond boy, when suddenly Kyuhyun had just entered.

“We are having a private conversation right now.”, Donghae said.

“Oh I’m surprised, because, since Siwon got here you only seem to have private conversations with him.”

Sungmin raised an eyebrow.

“Are you jealous Kyu?”

“No. I like the guy and all. I’m just saying, that since you met Siwon you’re spending all of your time with him,you’re sticked together like glue.”

Donghae thought about it for a second and yes, he had to admit that he spent a lot of his time with Siwon, but Kyuhyun and Sungmin were never far away and Yesung and Ryeowook were there too. But maybe he  hadn’t realized that he had started to be get distant…

“I’m sorry you felt that way… I’ll try to make efforts.”

Kyuhyun nodded.

“So what were you asking about Eunhyuk?”

“Nothing, forget about it!”

“He is not fine… he is not fine at all.” Sungmin said. “It’s been a week now that I’ve been trying to get him out of his room, but he is barely eating and looks like a zombie most of the time. I don’t know what happend between you two, but he is really miserable.”

Donghae’s heart tightend. Why? Why was he feeling so  that bad about it, when he shouldn’t?! After all this guy had put him trough, he shouldn’t care that much if Eunhyuk suffered or not.  It was all his fault anyways! What a childish thought…

« Isn’t there a way to talk this through? »

« No… » Donghae shook his head. « This time there is no going back…”

“And if he would do something?” asked Kyuhyun.

“What do you mean?”

“What if he would come to you in the furure, will you still reject him?”

Donghae thought about that for a second. What if? Honestly he didn’t know, how to react if something like that was ever going to happen, but he knew one thing for sure…

“Eunhyuk will never do that.”

“You don’t know. People can surprise you.”

He had no idea about how much it was true…

***

“Enough! I can’t stand it anymore ! »

Donghae and Siwon were in their room.

“I can’t stand this moping anymore you need some fresh air!”

“I’m ok, Won, don’t worry.”

“You’re anything but ok! Let’s go on a trip this weekend!”

“What? No, I need to study and I don’t have the money anyways…”

“No There is no “no” to be accepted! I have a friend, who has a small chalet in the mountains; we can could go hiking up there, no money will be needed.”

Donghae considered it for a minute. It was a nice suggestion, but the idea of spending a night in a chalet alone with Siwon made him uncomfortable in some way . It wasn’t as like they weren’t already spending every night together.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea…”

Siwon lost his smile.

“Are you afraid of being alone with me outside the school?”

“No!” Donghae exclaimed. “It’s just that I’m not really in the mood of ding this kind of things… and I was planning on doing something this weekend anyways.”

Siwon throw him a questioning glance.

“I wanted to visit my sister’s grave.”

“Oh…”

“After I got my memories back, I haven’t had the time to go there.”

Since Donghae had become Siwon’s roommate, he had explained all that happend in his life to his friend. Now Siwon knew everything about it and never judged him once, Donghae felt his fears subside. In contradiction to that, Siwon just got to know the peak oft he iceberg in realtion tot he mess, the death of Donghae’s sister had caused.

“It‘s no problem, I understand. I’ll drop you off at the cemetery if you want.”

Donghae smiled. The other kindness had no limits. Suddenly Siwon suddenly smiled softly.

“You really loved her didn’t you?”

“Minha? Yes, I did and I still do. She was my twin, we  had a different kind of bonding. than normal siblings have.“

“It must have been amazing to be connected to someone like that. I guess you never had to feel alone.”

“Yes and no… when you are losing  your twin, you are losing a part of yourself. It’s like your identity and your reason to exist are gone. We should never depend on someone else…”

Donghae said that, while he thought about a particular person he treid to forget with all of his might, instead of talking about MInah in the first place.

“You know, that night, when we had the accident, I really thought it was the end of everything. But now I realize at that moment, at that exact moment, when Minha sacrificed herself for me, she gave me her life. Not only physically, but metaphorically too. She showed me that I could survive, that I could have a life. It’s the most amazing act of compassion and courage that I’ve ever seen. And to feel a love like this, such deep concern, even if it’s only for a short time in our lives, that will be the moment when we’ll start to realize, what it means to be alive.

“I would’ve wanted to meet her…”

“Your kindness reminds me a bit of hers.”

“I’m not that kind… I do it with ulterior motives!”

Donghae laught, he knew very well that Siwon’s kindness was genuine.

“Which are?”

“Making you like me.”

That made Donghae stop laughing. Siwon had already told him that he liked him, but they hadn’t talked  about it since the party. The taller came close to Donghae and gently put a hand on top of his hair.

“I want to have this kind of importance in your life too. I know I’ll never be able to beat your sister no matter what I do she’ll always be special, but I want to be the one that protects you from now on.”

Donghae stayed silent, he didn’t know what to say. He never thought that Siwon could be gay and on top of all that to like someone like him. Being friends was already out of the status quo, but being in love… that almost sounded  like a bad joke. But the sincerity in the eyes of the tall boy wasn’t a lie nor a joke. Suddenly Siwon hugged him and Donghae let him be.

"I'll always be here for you."

“Thanks.” was the only thing Dongahe could say.

***

On Friday after school, Siwon droped Donghae at the cemetery. He told him to make a call when he