He drives 120km/hour in the empty street. The night has settled and the streets are emptying. We drive in silence as the earlier event still shakes me. He doesn’t leave his eyes away from the road ahead, both hands firmly gripping the steering wheel as if his life depends on it.

My adrenaline is still pumping. I can’t believe what I just did to Junsu! Yes, I have had told him to off before, but I have never inflict any physical pain on him. But damn that feels so good! It's like the weight on my chest was lifted and thrown onto his foot! I guess now we are slowly getting even, Junsu.

“I’ll drive you to your place” He says, breaking the silence.

I put my hand up, catching his attention. “No. Don’t take me home. Not yet”

He looks at me between his driving with a confused look. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Surprise me.” I say as I finally rest my back on the backrest of the cars seat and slowly closing my eyes.

The silence is nice. Completely different to how the silence in Junsu’s car makes me. Both men have hurt me before, but with the idol, despite what he had done to me, I feel secured. With Junsu, however, I still feel like I had to have my guards up, constantly looking at him through my peripheral vision to make sure he wont be up to no good.

I try to calm myself as I recall today. I woke up in the morning to have breakfast with my mother. My father and my brother are out on overseas business trip so it was ladies day in the breakfast table. She asked me of my schedule and her face beamed when I told her my plan with Junsu. I walked out of the house at around 7.30 at night with my beautiful dress ready to attend the event with Junsu as my date.

Now, at 11 PM, I am inside a car of another man. The man that was supposed to be my date was crouching on the ground when I left him. The man who was supposed to be my perfect match, like they say in the event earlier, are cursing me while I left with the man that he was trying to destroy.

“We’re here” His soft voice wakes me up.

I look out of the window and instantly gasp. We are parked in front of the infamous dodgy street stall; the one that he took me when we first hang out just the two of us. I remember this place like it was yesterday. I was still my old self, holding on to my title and what it entails, while him, being the carefree man that he is, eating merrily alone.

I snap my head to him and see him grinning nervously at me. “Too soon?”

I stare at him in awe before I fall into a fit of giggles. “You moron!” I slap his arm,  “Let’s go!”

I open the door and I hear him gasp, “Really??!”

I look over my shoulder and grin, “Yes, really”

***

I stare at the barbeque pit in front of me in amusement. This is crazy. Who came up with an idea to fill a barrel with coals and put a simple grill on top and call it a barbeque? Poor people and their ideas… They say people are more creative with less money. I guess they’re right.

“Are you sure?” The idol asks as he takes off his sunglasses, revealing a week worth of dark circles.

I nod convincingly. Honestly, I am a tiny bit afraid. What if the beef is old and rotten and there’s maggots living inside of it? What if they filled it with sedatives and once I knocked out, they’ll skin me alive and sell my body parts? What if? What if? What if…

But I will never know until I try.

The old ahjumma remembers the idol as she eagerly places slices of samgyeopsal onto the grill. The aroma fills into my nose immediately. I have to admit, my mouth instantly waters and a small smile creeps into my face.

The idol is watching me warily as I take my chopsticks and begin to fiddle with the samgyeopsal.

“Hyuri-ah…” He calls, “Are you sure you can eat these?”

“Why?” I retreat my hands and begin to worry, “Is it not safe??”

He chuckles weakly, “No, of course it’s safe… It’s just… You know…”

“Just let me have a taste, will you? If you didn’t die because of this, I shouldn’t too, right?” I cut his sentence because I can slowly see his eyes shake.

We cook the meat in silence and once it’s cook, I pick one up and study it. The smell is wonderful. They only served finger foods from earlier gala, knowing that most of the guests don’t eat to keep their figures, so this humble food actually lures me in.

The idol has his eyes stares deep at me, making me nervous.

“If you keep staring at me like that, I won’t be able to eat” I tease and he suddenly lowers his eyes back to the barbeque.

We eat silently, but I notice his constant glare at me every time he thinks that I wasn’t looking. I pretend to play stupid and eat without commenting on his stare. The food is slowly diminishing and I think I ate more than he did. He spends the whole time staring or pretending to eat.

“So” I place down my chopsticks after I finish the last piece. “Why can’t you tear your eyes away from me?” I look at him straight in the eye with a playful smirk.

“Ah…” He quickly averts his eyes, “I just… I don’t know”

“What? Tell me” I rest my arms on the