- FLASHBACK -

Seunghyun hyung and I were sitting in the balcony of his hotel room in Peru with a glass of Pinot Noir on our hand. We watched the sky as we enjoy our puffs of Marlboro red. This is our ritual whenever Seunghyun hyung couldn’t sleep or when I had too many thoughts in my head. This time, it was the former.

We had fans outside screaming and singing our songs, showing their love. It was nice and I felt the love but when the nighttime comes like this, even hiding under the pillow doesn’t help to tune out the noise. We had no other option but to resorted to the good old red wine.

“Hyuri just complained to me that one of her friend asked for my autograph” I chuckled, remembering our phone call earlier.

Seunghyun hyung nodded, “They saw you?”

“Of course they saw me! Didn’t you see the pictures?” I boasted.

He snorted, “I had a call that day from manager hyung. He went ballistic because of you”

“I know, I know. We’ve passed that already. What’s done is done” I dissed his scolding.

“It’s so unlike you…” He said suddenly.

“What?”

“Being so reckless and ignore our schedule” He twirl the red liquid in his glass.

“Pfft. It was just for fun” I returned my eyes to the dark sky, puffing the roll.

“For fun? I remember distinctly that Mika once asked you to come to one of her mother’s gathering and you told her that you couldn’t because of some schedule”

“It’s the truth! We had to go to Japan that time, remember??” I shot back.

“This time we had to go to LA! Tell me what’s the difference?”

“It’s…” I blanked.

“See? You couldn’t even come up with a sound excuse” He sipped his wine.

I huffed, “She needed someone to protect her from her bully” There. A sound excuse.

He chuckled immediately, “Really? Until when are you going to use that as an excuse?”

“It’s not an excuse! It’s the truth!” I retorted.

“Arraso, arraso… Whatever you say, dongsaeng-ah” He patted my head. He knows how much I hate it when he patted my head after a banter. It made me feel like a little kid.

“You know, I should be the one who investigating you” I scoffed as I threw away my third cigs.

“Why?”

“Where were you during the Gala? Can’t seem to find a way out of the limo? Too busy with your own ‘party-for-two’?” I teased.

He smiled but I noticed some pain within his orbs. He didn’t answer; instead he took another long sip from his wine as he returned his eyes on the stars above.

“What’s with the silence, huh? You know I know how you get” I continued my teasing. “I was surprised you could still managed to walk straight during our concert”

He stays silent with the wine glass never leave his lips. It was like he’s drowning in his own thought and misery. I noticed how the mood had changed and that my teasing only worsened his state. His eyes darken and his jaw locked.

“Hyung…”

“Don’t tell anyone” He said suddenly as he snapped his head at me.

“What?”

“The things that I’m going to tell you. Don’t tell anyone. Not even your omma” He glared at me.

“I… I wont” I was surprised to see how pitiful his eyes were and how broken he looked.

He sighed and pressed his back on the backrest of the seat. “I’m ed, Ji”

“Hyung! What the heck?! Don’t say that!” My alarm went off.

He shook his head, “I am… Though I’m sure it won’t affect BigBang”

“What are you talking about?! Everything we do affects BigBang!” We can’t afford another scandal. Not after what happened last year.

“Not this time… At least that’s what Mika told me” He said weakly.

“Hyung… You’re not making any sense and you’re starting to scare me”

He let his head fall to the backrest and I can see his adam apple bopping as he tried to contain his emotion. “That day… When I was picking her up…”

I hold my breath as he contemplated on his story. I could feel his pain emanating from him.

He sighed, “Her mother was there”

I cocked my head. He told me that fact as if it gave the answer to everything when in reality, it still didn’t make sense to me. I frowned as I wait for him to continue.

“When she found out who Mika’s date was… I could see her veins popping out from her neck… Her eyes are so big, I could almost see the insides of her brain… She said stuff about disgracing the family name and how I would be an embarrassment to the party. Mika tried to reasoned with her, telling her stuff about being normal and all but ultimately, her mother kicked me out of her property…”

My jaw falls, my eyes popped, my breathing stopped. I can’t believe these things happened to my own brother! I can’t believe the things that I thought was only the exaggeration work of drama’s writer were actually true.

“Hyung...” was all that I could come up with.

“Mika went outside to get me but I was too shocked of everything that I couldn’t say a word… Mika told me that she had already threatened her mother that if she ever touched me or BigBang or YG, she’d run away. So no, Ji, I don’t think my problem would affect BigBang”

“ BigBang! How about you?!!” I roared.

“I went straight home afterwards without saying a word to Mika… But she is an amazing girl… She is indeed stronger than I am… I ignored her call the whole night, ignored her text ‘cos I thought it’s for the best. I’ve never been treated that way before, Jiyong-ah so I didn’t know what I should do…”

He raked his hair, “I went to LA without telling her… I was planning on staying away from her and I thought going to LA was the best starting point…”

“Is that why you didn’t go out of your room the whole time we were in LA?” I whispered.

He chuckled, “No… I was busy Skype-ing with Mika”

“Ya! What the heck?!”

“Listen to my story first!” He slapped me in the head, “When I arrived in LA, I was so drown in my own misery. The thought of leaving her… at one point I even wished the plane that I was on would crash down”

“Hyung…”

“But it didn’t. And I thank God it didn’t. Once I arrived in LAX and my phone, I got load of messages from Mika. She told me things that she’d do for me… She said sorry million times when in fact, she wasn’t at fault… She said that she’d do whatever it takes for our relationship and would even forgone her last name and her inheritance if that’s necessary… She said many things more and that’s my cue to break. I couldn’t believe I even thinking of leaving her. She fights for me, she fights for our relationship and there I was, giving up the second things get rough. I immediately called her and we both made a pact that we would never let anyone breaks us. We agreed to fight this fight together”

“Whoa…” My respect for Mika had gone to the extreme.

“So yes… That’s why we weren’t at the party, ” He slapped my head again.

“Aish hyung…” I rubbed the sore spot, “But seriously, your story could be written down or put up as a movie!”

He scoffed, “I’d ask at least a trillion”

“I’d be the music director!” I raised my glass to his and we cheered.

We enjoyed the night again while swimming in our own individual thoughts. I was thinking of Seunghyun hyung’s story and the rhymes and melody that came with the inspiration. While hyung…. God knows what’s in that man’s head.

“Just make sure your story wont be as rocky as mine, Ji” He said out of the blue.

“My story?”

“You and Hyuri”

I sighed, “Dude how many times do I have to explain to y’all? Hyuri and I are just friends!!”

He snorted, “Doesn’t look that way to me”

“Well that’s your problem!”

“So you’re saying that you don’t feel anything for her?” He eyed me suspiciously.

“No! I care about her but I only think of her as my sister!”

“Sister?” He nodded, “Are you sure?”

“YES!!” I almost yelled.

“Okay, if you say so” he shrugged, “But make sure she knows, Ji… You don’t want to put thoughts into her head, giving her hope”

I sighed, “I’m not putting anything into her head. In fact, I’ve told her that I see her as a dongsaeng! She knows!”

“Huh?” He seemed surprise. “Well, that’s good then… at least she knows… I was surprised her mother didn’t caught your neck at the Gala, though”

“She, too, knows that we’re just friends” I retort quickly. When will his accusation ends?

“Really? Hmm… Well good for you” He sipped his Pinot.

I pouted. Do I look like I’m in love with her? I was just being friendly! I’m just being accommodating! I'm just being a good person!! What’s wrong with that?!

“What is wrong are your actions, Ji” He said and I felt the blush went to my ears. I guess I just blurted out my thoughts out loud.

“What’s wrong with my action?!” I retorted. I don’t like people misjudge me.

“You look at her differently… It’s… weird” He shivered exaggeratedly. “And you constantly calling her, every single night”

“I just wanted to chat! What’s wrong with that? Youngbae talks to Lydia a lot too, but nobody complained!” I argued.

“Because Youngbae doesn’t care that Lydia did a duet with you, he doesn’t give a damn that Seungri practice his dance moves with her and he doesn’t complained if