The spotlight is blinding and every stare are ready to scrutinize me. One simple mistake can be spotted in this intense situation. I am on a mysterious stage, standing behind a pedestal with some kids sitting behind me, waiting for their turn. The MC is standing on the left side of the stage, ready to read his question. Everyone is waiting, everyone is judging.

“2 times 6 divide by 3 is equal to?” The MC’s voice is ringing loudly from the speaker.

My heart beat races. I knew this. I’ve practiced this thousand of times. I’ve memorized this again and again just so that I wont stuff this up. I rake my brain, trying to search for the answer but nothing come up. Nothing. Only words of ‘fighting’ and ‘make us proud!’ echoed continuously in my head.

I open my mouth and I can feel people are holding their breath. When I was about to answer, I spot my parents sitting expectantly on the front seat. Their faces are hopeful and anxious. I can’t mess this up. I’ve messed my piano recital last week, I can’t blow this one too. Like my grandfather used to say, every Koo is a champion.

“Three” My voice is soft and innocent as it booms from the speaker.

I hear gasps, snickers, and yelps from the audience. I hear giggling and words of mocking whispered from my fellow contender. I feel small, I feel idiotic, I feel like I’m the embarrassment for the family.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Koo. That’s not the answer that we are looking for”

My parents lower their head and shake in disbelief. Cameras are flashing wildly at me. I can picture it again, just like what happened last week. Me, on page 2 of the newspaper, failing to perform like a Koo supposed to be. Again, I am the rotten egg of the family. As always, I smeared Koo’s name.

I open my eyes with rapid breathing. I feel cold sweats on my forehead. Again, those vivid flashbacks are hitting me again. It’s like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, constricting me from breathing.

“You okay?” A soft worried voice asks me.

I turn and finally remembered where I am. I am in a studio of this stupid idol who is crouching on the floor next to the sofa that I’m sleeping on. He has his hat ready and on his hand, he has my clutch. He his head, studying my expression.

“I’m fine” I sit up, fixing my messed hair.

“You were tossing around during your sleep” He stands up, offering me his free hand.

I ignore his help and grab my clutch from his hold, “Are you done?”

He frowns, “Yeah, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Good. Now take me home” I stand, ignore his question.

He pouts, watching me as I fix my clothing.

“What? You don’t want to take me home? Fine, I’ll call my security” I open my clutch wanting to find my phone until he stops me.

“No. I’ll take you home. Come on” He walks ahead.

The studio is empty and all the computers are off. It’s weird being in the same room but no loud music playing. It feels off. I follow him to the elevator and wait silently for the door to open next to him. I keep my eyes straight but I notice he sometimes takes glances my way.

DING!

I walk in, irritated by his constant stare and he silently follow.

“Are you sure…”

“Yes, idol. I’m fine. Now can you please stop staring?!” I snap.

“Okay. Geez. Sorry. You were sweating and mumbling in your sleep. I just thought you need someone to tell your nightmares to” He says, annoyed at my outburst.

“Don’t worry. I have plenty of people I can tell my nightmares to” I answer coldly. He should start minding his own business!

“Pfft. I was just trying to be nice” He snaps his head away from me, folding his arms on his chest

“You’re annoying” I spat.

“Thanks. You too” He replies.

DING!

The elevator door opens, exposing the dark outdoor. It’s 5 in the morning and the sun hasn’t showed its brightness just yet in this cold dawn. Without waiting for him, I walk out of the building towards the parking lot where he parked his car earlier.

I walk fast to his car and he mimics my step. Ugh this guy can be really infuriating! He walks to my side of the car and naturally opens the door before I could reach it. He waits as he holds the door open. He looks at anywhere but me.

I stand unmoving. Completely surprise by his gesture. I thought he doesn’t know the meaning of chivalry but why is he opening the door and stand next to it, like a true gentleman? Where are all of these manners coming from? Where is the annoying, unmannered idol I knew?

“What?” He finally looks at me.

“You opened the door for me” I point out the obvious.

“Huh? Of course I would…” He stops. Finally realizing what he’s doing. “!” He closes the door quickly and makes a run for it to his side of the car.

He opens his door and bolted inside, quickly putting his hand on the steering wheel and staring straight to the front, leaving me dumbfounded outside of the car. What just happened?

I chuckle and open my side of the car before letting myself in. He insists on staring straight although I have a feeling that he’s eyeing me from the corner of his eyes. I put on my seatbelt securely before he turns on the engine and drives the car out of the parking spot.

“So you do know some manners?” I tease and he flexes his jaw.

“I don’t know what you mean” He retorts.

“Oh come on. I can see that it goes naturally for you to open a door for a girl” I continue my teasing.

“Shut up” His ears are slowly reddening.

“Why didn’t you opened it since the beginning?” I ask.

“I don’t know. It was funny when I saw you standing expectantly for me to open the door. It was funnier when you blow up” He grins.

“So my annoyance entertains you?”

“Yes. Very much” He smiles broadly at me before return his eyes on the road.

That smile. His smile. Somehow my heart tickles when he smiled like that. What is this? Has spending a significant amount of time in his studio turns me into a weirdo too? Did the time spent in this building pulped up my brain or did the nightmare turns my head into a mush?

“What do you think about me now?” He suddenly asks as the car moves swiftly along the lighted road.

“Huh?”

“Now that you’ve seen me working, do you still think of me as some kind of a doll that prances around on stage, showing off my pretty face?” He asks again.

“Pretty face? I never said that” I tease again.

“You know what I mean