I turn and look at him in wonder. Did I just hear him right? He prepared this for me? But I thought… I thought he didn’t know what the whole set up is about? Why would he lie about it? I stare at him as he lower his head and kick the snow mindlessly while grumbling some words I couldn’t decipher.

“Why would you set this thing up?” I hear myself say. The roses, wine and food; what are these about? Another plot to hurt me?

“I… I just thought it’d be nice” He mutter while his gaze is fixate on the snow in front of him.

“Nice for what? No, nice for who?”

“You!” He snap his head at me, “Me! Us! For both of us!”

“I never ask you to do this” I shake my head, feeling the familiar pang of pain returns.

“That’s the whole point” He mumbles.

My heart begin to throb frantically again at the sight of him standing in front of a shed that he just declared he prepared for me. This is not fair. He doesn’t play his card fair. I’ve spend a week trying to shoved everything to the corner of my heart where I could forget but here he is trying to dig everything out and mess it again.

“Don’t you think it’d be nice? The two of us, with wine and food, just talking” He looks at me with that hopeful look on his face that I almost feel sorry for almost taking off.

“Do you even think of what I feel for a second?”

“What?!” He look pained, “Of course I do! How the hell do I prepare all of this if I don’t think of what you would like?!”

“I don’t like any of this” I say hoarsely. Maybe it’s the cold or maybe it’s the pain that breaks my voice.

“You…” He stares at me as if I just tear apart his heart, “You… don’t like this?”

I shake my head. “It hurts. I never felt this type of pain before. Seeing you, being near you… it hurts. Do you remember what happened a week ago or was all of that just in my head?”

His shoulder falls and the crease on his forehead lessen as he looks at me with guilt. Slowly he steps forward and lessen the distance between us, “That’s why I’m here, trying to fix it”

I raise a hand to stop him from walking closer, “A meter”

“Fine” He raises his hands in surrender and takes a few steps back, “A meter. I’ll keep Mika’s promise, but please… please stay”

I look back behind me at the path that leads to the right track again. It’d take me few minutes to go back to civilization and save myself from hurting if I decide to run away. It’d take a minute to kick him between his legs and run for safety if I decide for revenge. But it only took seconds for me to walk to the shed if I decide to surrender.

“Don’t leave… Soon the sky will get dark… we’d have to leave by then” His voice is broken, reflecting his expression.

“If you know it’d get dark here, why do you take me here?” I turn my head at him.

“Because…” He lowers his head, staring back to the white ground. “I thought this is romantic”

Romantic? What does he know about romance? Romance is having dinner at the top of Eiffel tower! Romance is having first kiss up in the air inside a private jet! Romance is having gifts of Cartier showered around! Romance is having brunch by the beach in Maldives!

“I know this is not much…” He says as if he heard my thoughts, “But I’m trying…”

I slowly find myself crouching on the ground, grabbing my boots and click open every clasps as I keep my gaze on him. The way he look, so pitiful and vulnerable, makes me wanting to stay and keep the pain away, even though I know he’s the one who caused mine. Maybe I’m a masochist by wanting to be around a guy who clearly hurt me.

I step out of my ski and walk towards him but pass around him without a word, into the shed behind him.

He turns immediately, surprise by my action, and he watches me settle onto one of the seat. “You… Are you…”

“Grab me the wine” I put the napkin across my lap.

***

We both sit in silent as he pours me a second glass of red. He had prepared roast lamb with mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus as our meal with a tea on the side. He had the heater that hides within the column of the shed. Despite the warmth delivered by my meal, drink and heater, I still feel cold as I expect some pain coming soon.

“You don’t like this” He states suddenly as he returns to his seat and plays with his mashed potatoes.

“What makes you say that?” I fork an asparagus and bite a chunk.

“Your face. It’s empty” He says, but his eyes are not leaving his plate.

“I’m trying to figure you out”

“What?” He raises his face to meet mine.

“I never find the need to understand a person. Why should I have to when they’ll morph into someone that suits my preference? I don’t have to understand them because soon enough they become who I expect them to be. But you… You are an alien to me”

He sighs as he places the napkin onto the table, “I just pray that that’s a good thing”

I shrug, “I doubt it”

He raises his eyes again, locked it with mine. “I’m sorry for last week… I was walking inside hyung’s villa and there I saw you, looking like you just stepped out of a magazine… I couldn’t think straight and everything mushed… When you said--”

I raise a hand and he stops immediately, “I don’t need you to recite what happened. Being this close in distance to you already brings back the memory as if it happened an hour ago; the pain, the embarrassment, everything that’s bad. You are a bad news. From the beginning I’ve realized how bad you’ll be for me