I watch his facial expression changes. From impassive, to anxious to slowly embarrassed in a matter of few seconds that I don’t give him my response. The longer I stay silent, the lower his head is. At this point, he would hide his face inside his collarbone if he could.

“Is this what you said about me inspired you?” I finally speak after few minutes digesting his lyrics.

He nods, still has his head folded down.

“The lyrics is about a guy lusting over a girl” I state.

“No, about a guy mesmerized by her” He corrects.

“You were mesmerized by me?” I my head and he slowly raises his head.

“You almost spit in my face in Louis Vuitton and you almost chop my neck at the club. So, mesmerized would be an understatement”

“Amused would be the best word, don’t you think?”

“Mesmerized would be perfect. I couldn’t take your face off my head the whole day that day” His eyes bored into me like it had never before.

“You were an . Not that you are not now”

He chuckles softly, “You were funny when you came in raging and in your high horse. I couldn’t help it. I had to tease you and was awarded with your cheeks flamed in pink. It was cute. When I saw you walked in the VIP room I spurted all of my drink onto the table. I couldn’t believe the girl that ed my head the whole day was there”

“You were fine with me leaving early, as long as I don’t take Mika with me. Remember?”

He shrugs and sink into his seat, “Well what am I suppose to do? Beg you to stay? You hate me enough as it is”

“That’s true” I nod.

“I wanted to make you stay, wanting to tease you more but what excuse do I have? I have to play it cool or else the boys would notice” He starts playing with the fabric of the blanket.

“So why did you came down to the dance floor with Seunghyun?”

His lips form a thin line as he remembers, “I saw you in the middle of the crowd. The guys are all checking you out. I feel sick when I saw it so I just followed hyung and went downstairs”

“And kissed me” I add.

Despite the darkness, I notice his face reddens. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t… I didn’t know that it was your first kiss”

 “I don’t want you to know” I reply fast.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to give you that satisfaction of knowing that you got the honor”

He grins, wide and happy as he beams at me. “I’ve treasured it"

“Why did you kiss me?” This question has been lingering in my head for a long time and it’s appropriate to ask him now because his beaming face starts to distract me and caused my heart beating way too fast.

He is silent for a while, no longer grinning as he is contemplating of the excuse, until he finally sighs and answers, “I don’t really know. The way you spit your words, as if I am nobody, annoys me. I thought that was the reason. But thinking back, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I first saw you in LV”

“Why?”

He shrugs, “Your lips. My attention seems to be drawn to it. I wanted to taste it, see if it taste as sweet as it looks”

I feet heat crawls up all over my body, in a good way. Tingly and fluttery. I can’t believe he can do that with his simple words.

“But it doesn’t taste as sweet. It tastes better. That’s why I couldn’t help but steal a kiss or two from you whenever I can. The taste of it lingers through the night, helps me awake.” He begin to fiddles his fingers.

“You said you see me as your little sister. You don’t kiss your little sister like that” I keep my voice steady despite the craziness of my heart. I need to stop him from explaining about the kiss or else I might ask that from him soon.

“You’re really innocent, Hyuri. Gullible. Despite your whole façade of a strong powerful chaebol, I can see your innocence. I want to protect it. I want to make sure it doesn’t get stained. Being your older brother would give me that privilege”

“So your plan of making me forgive you is so that you can be my big brother again?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I buried that thought the moment I saw the driving you home. I’d be your big brother if you can promise me you will never date anyone. But if that’s not the case, then I’ll be something else”

“What is that something else?”

“I’m not going to spell it out for you, Hyuri” He takes his eyes off of me and looks at the blank wall. I see his ears are getting red, along with his nape.

“You said you don’t feel the same way--”

“And I’m sorry about that” He quickly interjects me. His eyes are back on me, apologizing. “I couldn’t think. I was stubborn and had a point to prove. You caught me off guard, Hyuri. Everyone has been teasing me about you and it annoys me. I just…” He rakes his hair with a grunt, “There’s no excuse to it. I was an and it hurt you. I have no excuse for it”

“Good that you understand that”

“I really am sorry” His voice trails as he lowers his head down. The brightness of his eyes replaced by deep guilt.

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you…” I still remember the pain that he gives me. The pure aches that I never felt ever in my life. The need for me to return to level 10 of LG Twin Tower still shakes me.

“Just let me try…” he looks up, his hand on my bed.

“I don’t want to feel the pain again” I shake my head as I stare at my feet hidden by the blanket.

“I won’t let you. Just give me a chance. No matter how little, I’ll take it. Give me a chance to crawl back up” His hand slowly crawls its way towards mine.

“Didn’t you say that you’re a bad omen?”<