Epilogue: pt.1
Managing You & Me
"I made new recordings. Pick em up soon Ahn ah. Araso?"
Yongguk oppa's deep voice rumbled through the phone line.
"Okay oppa. Be there soon."
I answered, checking off my list of students at the academy.
I hung up, folding the school agenda cover.
I shoot my pen back into its holder and run a hand to caress the picture frame propped up on my desk, Jinyoung and my smile greeting me.
____ Daehyun's Story ______
It's been two weeks since our breakup.
I found myself getting back up, as if nothing happend.
Maybe it was all a dream in the first place.
"Want some orange juice?"
Yongjae asked, flinging open the fridge door.
I shook my head as a 'no' and tugged on my mask.
"You've been wearing that mask thing lately. Anything bothering you?"
Youngjae questioned as he poured the juice in a cup.
I shook my head again, not bothering to speak.
"Oh Thanks hyung!"
Zelo scooted in the kitchen, kicking his skateboard in one hand as he swiftly picked up Youngjae's orange juice and downed it in one shot.
"Don't we have more iced americanos?" Himchan hyung trudged in, snatching Zelo's skateboard from the kitchen counter and rolling it to the living room.
"You're going to be caffein-addicted hyung." Youngjae clucked his tonuge in disapproval but handed him a bottle of starbucks.
"I'll take one too-" Jongup yawned, stretching his arms and snatching one bottle from the fridge.
I looked out the window and stared up at the sunrise.
Vibrant, flourescent colors painted the sky, the color stains most beautiful of them all-
Like somebody I knew.
"Yo- we're going to the company building. Get dressed!"
Yongguk hyung announced from his room, his deep voice echoing through the dorm.
Zelo's eyes suspiciously lit up, and he sprinted to his room.
????
I decided to get ready, so I snuck into my closet and picked out random stuff other people like.
Youngjae walked in and did a double take, concern furrowing his brows.
"You don't like that t-shirt... Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded, tigthening my mask straps.
Who cares what I like nowdays?
We shuffled into the van with manager Kang hyung waiting for us.
"Why are you guys up so early?Eesh- you guys just came back from America too" He complained, looking oddly at me.
I shrugged, sinking back into a seat.
The van rolled on, marking the start of another day.
"We're here. Go work." Manager Kang yawned, opening up the van doors.
Yongguk hyung took off, Zelo sprinting behind.
Jongup bunched his eyebrows and looked at Himchan, Youngjae, and me, only to gain no answer and more confusion.
We shuffled out of the van and trudged along to the enterance of the TS building, Yongguk and Zelo nowhere to be seen.
I glanced up at the sky, all painted light blue and cool gray with the flames of red,orange,and yellow its hems, and sighed as I walked inside the TS building.
She didn't even say goodbye.
_____Yongguk's Story____
"Zelo-yah. I'm only going to use the restroom. Stop following me."
Fumbling with excuses doesn't work with our maknae.
I tried to sound more firm.
Ahn ah and I agreed to make her visits invisible as possible.
She didn't want to see them , out of guilt, and I respected her enough to not force anything on her.
She's been forced enough in her life.
"Hyunnnggg~I know you're going to see noona. Please let me see noona."
Zelo whined, trying to get past me.
Suddenly, he sighed limply, and stared at me as all his baby image diminished away.
"I need to see noona. Jaebal {trans- please}."
His maturity caught me off guard, and I gave up on storming up excuses.
Joonhong deserves to see Ahn ah, and it's all he asks for.
I sighed and nodded, motioning him to follow me.
We headed down to the recording room, checked our surroundings, and entered quietly.
I walked in, catching Ahn ah's eyes widening in fear and happiness as she saw the tall maknae walk in after me.
He closed the door and looked at Ahn ah, grinning like a little boy who found his mom after being lost at the store for hours.
"Noona" he whispered.
__Ahn ah's Story___
"Joonhong-ah"
I choked back, tears stinging my eyes.
Yongguk oppa eyed us, motioning that he'll be back later, and left us alone.
I haven't seen the other B.A.P members in a month, after leaving them without saying goodbye.
This is why I asked Yongguk oppa to make me invisible during our visits, and what I feared gladly came.
A tear fell down my cheek, and the maknae winced at the sight.
"-Miahnhae noona. I shouldn't have come. I didn't want to make you cry"
Joonhong spoke apologetically, with his head hung down. He quickly took a step backward, and headed to the door.
"Joonhong-ah!" I blurted, catching his attention.
His eyes were getting red and puffy, tears streaming down his own eyes.
I got up and stumbled into his tall frame, hugging and holding on to his back.
"Don't go- Joonhong-ah. Noona's sorry. Don't cry Joonhongie. I'm here- don't go"
I sobbed, guilt washing over me as I saw his face drenched in despair.
He started sobbing like a little kid, hiccuping and dropping to the floor.
I sat down next to him, wiping his tears.
"Why did you go noona? Did you forget about me? Did you forget that I'll miss you?"
He sobbed, ranting out every unfair thing I have done to him, jabbing me in the heart over and over.
"I hate you noona! You left me! I thought you promised to always be there for me!! You left- you left with no goodbye-" He covered half his face with a hand, lightly shoving me with the other.
I swallowed back all my sobs, and drenched myself in guilt.
I have been selfish- haven't I?
Avoiding them, hoping they'll forget about me.
But Joonhong didn't forget about my promise, my promise that I'll never leave him alone.
I broke his heart, broke the promise, just so I could seek my own happiness.
Without a goodbye to seal it all.
"You left me waiting... Waiting for a person who might never come back... You're a bad noona."
He sniffled, his rants coming to a trail of sobs and hiccups.
"Joonhong-ah. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left and broke our promise."
Zelo glared at me, his red, bloodshot eyes burning a hole my heart.
"Noona thought that you'll forget about her and be happy Joonhongie again. Noona's bad. Noona's selfish. Noona's a mean person."
I returned everything Joonghong has said to me, admitting them one by one.
It's all true.
A person who breaks a promise is not a person at all.
"I thought noona forgot all about me... You could have told us before leaving- you left us broken."
Zelo muttured blandly, the image of him and s behaving oddly after she left flooding on by.
I bit my lip in guilt, and mentally beat myself up.
I thought I could stay away until they rid of me from existence, but my presence will always be there to them. Unerasable.
"..... Would you forgive me Joonghong?" I asked, not expecting any sort of acceptance.
I was welcomed by his arms, wrapping themselves around my limp torso.
"I came to see you and tell you that noona is forgiven as long as she keeps her promise from now on."
He held out his pinky, nudging it forward, picking mine up in his and locking it together.
"I solemnly promise on the name of B.A.P." I whispered, ruffling Zelo's dark blue hair.
Then, somebody bursted in,
panting roughly with hurt written all over his face.
"D..Daehyun oppa-"
I stuttured, quickly losing words of intellegence from my brain.
Zelo nodded at me, stood up, wiped his remaining tears, and rushed out.
I will get both the evil leader and sneaky maknae... later.
I just sat there blinking at my once-beloved, waiting for a cheek-swelling blow or a skin-biting slap in the face.
My runny tears fell down as I observed Daehyun.
His mask was tugged up to hide half his beautiful face, his hand clutched his heart in pain, and his eyes spoke so many words that shot more pain up my heart.
He slammed the door shut, strode towards me, and ripped off his mask.
"I went to your dorm after we broke up to apologize for being so heartless, only to find an empty apartment room. I ran down the streets like a maniac to find you. Then I realized you left."
He bitterly spoke, leaning in dangerously close to me.
I mustered up the courage to speak, daring to accept all hurtful actions.
"... I shouldn't have come here.. Miahnhae oppa. I know I'm the last person on Earth you'd want to see. I know my voice is the last thing you want to hear in your lifetime. You deserve none of this and it's my fault."
I whispered, knowing well that he can hear from our close distance.
He backed away and turned around, slamming his back on to the wall.
"I was fine when you said you didn't want to see me. I was fine when I shattered into pieces, but happy you could smile without me. I was fine when you went back to Jinyoung hyung. I was fine when you moved on without me.
But I'm not fine with me not being able to see you do that. I'm not doing well without seeing your smiles. I wasn't fine with you not leaving a good bye. I broke when you slipped away from my life. Everytime I passed by you, I pretended to be fine.
Couldn't you have visited me just to say 'hi'? Did it hurt you that much to just smile at me?"
His confession brought down tears, as his anger slipped away and he broke down in front of me.
"I was dying Ahn ah- you could have at least told me you'd be going away."
His sobs grew loud and his pained eyes were smothered with tears of hatred.
"That's probably the most words you said in your life Daehyun oppa."
I chuckled, letting him speak out everything on his heavy heart.
At least he's talking again.
"I wanted you to forget me oppa. Move on on your own, instead of me appearing in your life and making it harder. Believe it or not, I worry about you. A lot."
I fessed up, running a hand through my hair.
"Good to know I'm not forgotten"
Daehyun bitterly laughed, slumped back on the wall, tilting his head back.
I bit my lip.
"I really am sorry for being a about this. - I wasn't suppose to scurry off like a ing princess, thinking everything was gonna be alright."
"There's the rough-mouthed Ahn ah I know." He scoffed, smiling at the harsh words coming from Ahn ah's delicate lips.
"Yeah yeah she made a comeback, whatever" I rolled my eyes, stayed down and leaned my head on the wall next to his, hands slinging off my knees.
"The girl you kidnapped."
I smirked as he lightly laughed, the old incident bringing us the interesting memories.
"Funny how you were still Jinyoung's even back then."
"Mmm yeah that's true"
"He can take you all he wants but I had you first"
My eyebrows furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
He arched his brows and seductively his lips.
"Oh GOD Jung Daehyun!!"
I groaned, burying my burning face in my hands.
Daehyun howled out in laughter, his dirty yet true remark settling upon my understanding.
We were laughing together, the once-rough wall disappearing before our rebonded relationship.
I got my good ole friend Daehyun back.
"Hey Ahn a- Woah."
The deep voice rung from the door, which was now swinging open with a surprised Yongguk oppa exchanging glances between Daehyun and me.
I stood up and dusted my pants.
"It's alright. We're good now."
I explained, and he heaved out a relieving sigh.
"I'll eat all your ramen for meeting Ahn ah behind our backs hyung."
Daehyun threatend, gave me a wink, and walked out.
"No Daehyun- as leader of B.A.P you can't eat my ram- Aish."
Yongguk oppa cursed under his breath, the danger of his ramen supply creeping higher as Daehyun sprinted out of sight.
"I can always attack his cheesecakes"
Yongguk oppa muttured, etching in a mental note.
"You guys never change huh?"
I giggled, propping my arms behind my back on the recording table.
"Nah- Just Zelo's height maybe."
I nodded as I remebered his new added height, known to be 6'2 (190cm) now.
"How was America?"
I asked, knowing well that they just have finished their APAHM contribution concert.
"We have more BABYs overseas now" Yongguk oppa chuckled, a proud gummy-smile etching its way on the corners of his lips.
As a BABY, I squealed inside, feeling more united to other BABYs. They had an up-close taste to their talents, a rare once-in-a-lifetime chance.
{ to all BABYs in America who couldn't go, don't cry. I couldn't go either. T_T}
"So the recording you promised me?"
I cleared my throat and arched an eyebrow, getting to the purpose of why I was here in the first place and everything that "happend" in between.
"Oh yeah-"
He handed me a fresh CD, filled with the genius works of Bang Yongguk himself.
"Zelo was giving me his man-eyes. You know it creeps us out. I had to give in."
He sighed, explaining how Zelo knew I was coming.
"Daehyun was just random though. He must have followed us."
I nodded, thanking the accident.
"I think I'm ready to see and talk to the other members... Maybe not Youngjae oppa though"
I nibbled on my lips, already being able to hear Youngjae oppa's cold and harsh comebacks and retorts.
He wouldn't just let me slip by after what I've harshly done to the B.A.P members.
"Youngjae will soften up. Make sure to act as vulnerable as possible. That smart- Youngjae does have a weakness in front of innocent ladies."
We both cracked up, having full-knowledge to me and my non-existent innocence.
"Eh- I'll beg. I have to anyways for all the trouble I caused him anyways."
I laughed and headed out, walking full-speed to meet the people I've hurt and face the mercy they will be willing to give me.
They probably have No No No, No mercyyy for me but it's the best I could do.
Because as you can see,I'm a helpless babo. An idiotic retard.
I swung open the door and found 4 pairs if eyes staring into my suddenly shy figure.
I quickly became self-consious and peeked back at Yongguk oppa, only to see him usher me in.
I immediately caught the deadly slits of Youngjae oppa's eyes, and saw Jongup's hurt one.
Himcha-
Oof.
"AHN AH! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD RUN AWAY FROM US? You don't run away from Kim Himchan!! "
So yeah.
That's what Himchan oppa did.
"I'm sorry mommy." I pouted, completely wrapped around in Himchan umma's embrace.
Jongup awkwardly shifted in his standing position, and gave in as he shoved Himchan oppa away and took his place, gently hugging me.
Jongup's distant liking to skinship made this all a shock to us, even leaving Youngjae's mouth hanging open.
After being stunned for a millisecond, I stuttured my actions and patted Jongup's back.
This dongsaeng is very dangerous. He may seem like an innocent kid, but he has a man inside of his well-built body.
Noonas, beware.
"I'm glad you came back noona."
Jongup muttered, and loosend his grip on my waist.
I stumbled back a little and quickly regained my composure, glancing at Youngjae oppa's merciless gaze.
Daehyun nudged Youngjae, and dragged rest of the B.A.P members outside.
Why do they always leave me with the awkardest person to be with?! Gahh!!
"Hi Youngj-"
"Shut it. I don't want to hear it."
"Bu-"
"Just shut up. All you're going to tell me is how sorry you are that you left us broken while you pranced around backto Daehyun's step brother."
I blinked at his retort, feeling empty and looked through like a transparent glass.
I slowly nodded, agreeing to what he had said.
"I was going to tell you that it's all my fault and you'd probably never want to see me again."
I muttered, wincing as Youngjae oppa took a deadly step towards me.
I stood my ground, this time, wating for physical pain.
"Ow!"
I yelped as my forehead throbbed-
He flicked my forehead!!
"Why Youngjae oppaaa?? Aishh"
I hissed, glaring at his triumphant smirk.
"I don't physically hurt girls. It is all your fault that the whole entire B.A.P had gone through a mini-depression after you fled. Since all the other members forgave you, I'll open up my mercy to you. Only this time. Hurt this family again, and you're dead."
He stated, leaning in close and wearing that annoying smirk.
I stuck out my tongue, symbolizing my infamous "meh-rong" as he chukled and ruffled my hair.
"So how's your love life with Daehyun's step brother?" He slipped in the snide remark, purposely poking at my almost non-existent guilt at the mention of Daehyun and Jinyoung's relationship.
I flashed him my new/really old ring, and he pretended to be so surprised.
Scowling, I rubbed my forehead some more and smiled at my ring.
"You love him that much- why did you leave him in the first place?"
"Youngjae oppa, I had amnesia. 3 times. Cut me some slack will you?"
"It was a medical problem not an emotional one"
His witty comeback made me pout, realizing it's true what he had said.
"But you had amnesia. Lighten up Ahn ah! I show you my rare mercy and you dare sulk in return?"
"I guess... not?"
"That's more like it."
With that, Youngjae oppa pulled at the corners of my lips, tugging it upwards into a forced smile.
He cracked up, telling me I looked like an ugly bear.
I smiled at the familiarity of this situation, protesting and whining at the insulting name-calling.
So my slate is clean, ready to start new officially.
I silently thanked the B.A.P oppas for letting me back into our family, knowing how much forgiveness they had generously bestowed upon me.
Why the cheesecakes am I speaking in Medival language?
The fuhh?
Shrugging the random outburst off, I pounded on the exit doors, yelling my head off.
"YOU BETTER LET US OUT OR I'LL BURN YOUR CHERRY TOMATO, RAMEN, CHEESECAKE, ICED COFFEE AND STASH!!"
I heard gasps and flinching whimpers as I listed off each and every one of their treasures, and didn't hear the door click open until the last item.
I knew Jongup had a weakness item in there somewhere, and it was a common secret of all the members.
Even Youngjae oppa exerted more force to open the door at the mention of the guilty treasure.
When the door opened, I was faced by 5 wide-eyed, frantic pairs of eyeballs, one more pair beside me.
"I was just kidding"
They all sighed at my honest reply.
"But apparently you guys weren't."
The 6 members' muscles tensed up visibly.
Ilet out a haughty laugh, feeling like I just defeated them all.
Boys-
They'll always be boys.
Even our 'innocent' baby Zelo.
They relaxed a bit and scolded me never to threaten their precious things again.
I nodded and surrendered, mentally noting myself to never piss them off with objects.
The day passed on by into a beautiful night, and I could finally rest peacefully after a round of heart-beatings.
As I crashed on my bed after a hot shower, two words passed through my tired mind.
Amnesia.
(To be contined in Part 2)
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