Mending Broken Hearts
Managing You & Me
*** safe chapter from here on until next warning ;) phew!***
"Hhnmmrrrpphh"
I stretched my legs, stiffening up and loosening tight muscles. Dang- I'm super sore.
Every single muscle movement started to flash the things that happend last night.
I blushed crazily and realized a huge spot missing next to me. I pouted at the vacant emptiness.
Of course Daehyun oppa would have left.
Looking around, I saw a sticky note left on my bedside drawer.
It read :
I love you Ahn ah. Orange at 5PM.
_ your Busan prince, love.
I giggled in tiny happiness.
I sat up in my bed, thinking.
Our relationship bursted into a new level of maturity, but were we right to take it? How are we going to act around each other? Do I have to do something different now?
Head spinning with questions, my phone automatically messaged a number.
To : Dakyung unnie.
Meet me at the cafe at 3:30PM okay? Its super imporant unnie!!
I need to talk with someone with experience.
I got up and went to the bathroom, where all the scenes replayed themseleves in my head.
The love that was shown-
All the hidden emotions.
The desperate need for each other.
Shyly blushing,my knees barely held it together to the closet.
I picked a simple spring rainy day outfit to match today's weather. The sky was grayish, but the trees looked a tint greener as if it will rain soon.
Wearing my white lace blouse, I slipped into the pastel yellow crop pants and threw on a navy-white striped cardigan, slinging a silver anchor necklace to top it off.
I strapped on my significant infinity sign bracelet, reminding myself that I'm home.
I tossed my hair back into a simple ponytail and clipped my side bangs with a ribbon beret.
I'm an idol in training- I have to look amazing.
As usual, my schedule is set up for vocal training and a photo shoot... But this time, it's a photo shoot with B.A.P and Secret for the company family calender.
So in all, I have so see either Nahye or Jinyoung oppa, then pretend like Daehyun oppa is just a friend.
I have to pretend like... nothing happend yesterday.
Sighing at the immense task, I wrote a mental note of reminders -
Hold back urge to kiss Daehyun,
Don't say anything until somebody brings the topic up,
Pretend like you aren't special to Daehyun,
Do not fall under Joonhong's innocent lies.
It went on forever.
I exited out my sweet dorm and tossed in an umbrella in my crossbody purse on the way. Locking the door, I headed out to the company building.
I absent-mindedly started spacing out and walked staight into a... Boulder?
No a person-
"Jwesonghapneeda"
I blankly apologized and walked on by, only to have my wrist caught in a grasp.
"You don't even say Hi?" Yongguk oppa's deep voice chuckled, showing a gummy smile.
"Yongguk oppa!" I grinned clinging on to him like a koala bear.
"Oof-"
Air knocked out of his lungs, Yongguk coughed a bit and regained his stumbling balance.
"I'll drive you to work today Ahn ah" He spoke, patting me on my back.
I gladly obliged, hopping into the back seat-
My heart almost stopped.
All the B.A.P oppas were there, cornering a panicking Daehyun.
"Wh-what?"
I uttered, only to have Jongup pull me inside the car and the door slammed close.
"Spill it Ahn ah!! What happend yesterday?" Himchan oppa lunged forward, shaking my shoulders.
I looked at Daehyun to question him if he told them, hoping that a glance would be enough for him to catch on.
He shook his head in denial and I breathed out in relief. If they found out- oh I'm screwed.
They won't stop talking about it, and somebody else would soon catch on.
"Nothing happend Himchan oppa- calm down!" I exaggerated, making it seem more like Daehyun oppa and I didn't do anything last night.
"We just... Slept." I confirmed, being quite honest.
We slept.. Together..
Yongguk oppa eyed me suspiciously from the driver's seat, making me hold my breath and hope that he didn't catch anything suspicious.
He sighed and announced,
"All right, you pass the test Ahn ah."
The B.A.P oppas all clapped and cheered, bringing a crimson color to my face.
I threw a glare at Daehyun oppa, who wore an irresistable smile, making me forgive him and cross my arms in hopeless obedience.
"You guys knew?" I yelled,
frustrated at being fooled countless times by these rascal-musicians.
Zelo lifted up something from his pocket-
an opened packaging.
I rolled my eyes at Daehyun oppa. Did he REALLY take that? Sick. That's just sick.
And why does Joonhongie have it?!?
I snatched it from him and tossed it to Daehyun.
"Why does our baby Zelo have this?!"
I questioned, holding Zelo in my embrace to protect his long gone innocence.
"Zelo have what?" Yongguk oppa called from the driver's seat, silencing us.
"NOTHING HYUNG. NOTHING." Zelo called out, quickly retreating from my protective hug, and throwing me a pout.
I gave him a suspicious eye and decided to let him off the hook for rest of the ride.
Youngjae oppa patted the spot next to his seat, right beside Daehyun oppa.(LOL Daejae moment!)
Seeing that we have a bit more distance to go to reach the company, I giddly swapped seats and plopped down next to Daehyun oppa, feeling strangely more comfortable.
"How are you feeling?" His lips brushed against my ear, sending shivers down my body.
I spread my legs as a reference and smirked, hearing his breath hitch at the sudden movement.
Himchan oppa was trying to cover Jongup and Zelo's eyes but we all knew too well that it didn't matter now.
Even Jonguppie's not pure.
Closing back my legs, Daehyun oppa cleared his throat and shifted his pants, which were definitely getting tight.
I giggled all girlishly, seeing Yongguk oppa turn around at a red light to see what was going on.
Jongup was awkwardly staring at the sky,
Zelo's jaws were hanging down,
Youngjae oppa was sleeping,
and Himchan umma was nagging at how inappropriate my act was while Daehyun oppa protectively fought back, saying that we were just carrying a conversation and girls can part their legs in comfort if they want to while wearing pants.
"Come on guys- it's not a big deal~" I tried to shrug this topic off, face palming myself at the silly situation.
Looking at Yongguk oppa for some type of help, he just smiled and shrugged, turning his attention back to the road.
Gee, what a father.
I apologized to Himchan umma, bringing him back to his 'oppa' state,
and gave a peck on Daehyun oppa's lips, which automatically soothed him.
And sometimes I feel like a mother to these little children.
Sometimes I feel like Zelo is a creeper in training.
And sometimes I wish Youngjae oppa will wake up to help me out with his witty remarks- but he loves sleeping too much.
Turning a road and swerving in to the familiar building structure, I looked into Daehyun oppa's disappointed expression.
I held his hand and gave it a squeeze.
"It's okay. We'll pull through. 5PM. don't forget!!"
I smiled, reassuring him that it's okay to pretend now.
All that matters is that we know we love each other.
I kissed his ring and unbuckled my seatbelt as the car came to a slow stop.
"This is my stop! See you guys later~ Thanks Yongguk oppa!"
I bid my farewells and left the car, flicking Youngjae oppa's forehead on the way. He threw me a joking scowl and my day began.
I hummed to B1A4's new title song, "What's Going On" and squealed at their upcoming stage comeback.
(BANAs be prepared for May 9th stage comback :D)
Walking into the recording studio, I was expecting Na hye as usual, especially because B1A4's hot nee comeback.
But my guess was wrong.
"..Jinyoung oppa?"
I questioned to the slim figure leaning on the recording instruments.
"Hey Ahn ah"
He greeted, strumming a melodic chord on the guitar.
"What are you doing here? I thought you had 'What's Going On?' Promotions!"
I exclaimed, helplessly smiling at the surprise.
He stood up and placed his guitar down, rubbing his hands together.
"That's why I'm here- I won't be able to fill in your lessons anymore. Maybe later, but not now."
He spoke, walking in my direction.
He stopped only inches away from me, bending down and staring into my teary eyes.
I don't really know the reason behind my sudden crying, but I just knew my heart was squeezing out in pain. It felt like somebody was wrenching all oxygen out of it- draining my reason of being here- my life.
"It doesn't mean forever Ahn ah- its just few months. After our comeback, promotions and performances." He cupped my cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb.
I still looked like somebody hit me with a frying pan, but a tear snuck down my face.
"At least I'm telling you aren't I?"
He chuckled, jokingly tapping my head.
"To me, when you left, I didn't know why I was still living and breathing. You forgot my entire existence and love- as if everything I gave was just a speck of dust to you.
It broke me to pieces realizing that you aren't ..
'You' anymore.
But now- I'm glad. I'm glad that Baek Ahn ah is back in her full presence and that somebody's there to hold her heart- even if it's my own little step brother. That's why I'm doing this- I'm telling you that I'll be leaving, so all unspoken gaps can be avoided later on. Because I know how painful it is to have a gigantic space hanging in your heart, feeling like everything is a hallucination." He let out a sad smile, confessing up everything.
Then -
Something in me clicked.
Hallucinations...
Gaps...
Me leaving him-
"Why Jinyoung oppa...? Why didn't you just forget about this farewell and leave me? I left you- twice for the matter, and this isn't even near the pain you have felt. Why didn't you just walk out of my life like I did to you so many times?"
I sobbed, not understanding how forgiving Jinyoung oppa can be-
why didn't he want to hurt me like I did him?
He embraced me, holding my head on to his shoulder, and spoke softly :
"Because I love you Babo."
The world stopped spinning and my heartbeat halted.
My eyes widened and more tears flowed down.
I shuddered out a fragile breath and stepped back, looking into Jinyoung oppa's own teary eyes.
His expression was pained but... free. His heart is.. free.
He wanted to let go of our debts we owed to one another.
Forgive and forget.
I covered my gaping mouth with my hand and we stood there, staring into each other's eyes.
I forgot him once,
Then forgot once more,
Left him,
Met him again with no memories,
Walked around his wound,
Stomped on his scars,
Stabbed his already-bleeding heart,
Played with his fragile emotions,
Tried to forget him again -
And .......and.....
He's forgiving me.
He's telling me that he loves me.
He's here, closing the distance I was putting between us.
"j.Ji..nyoung oppa-" I sobbed, realizing how stupid I've been.
How foolish-
How rude-
How much pain I gave him.
How many times I killed his heart.
He doesn't deserve to be like this- suffering in pain from what I did.
"It's okay Ahn ah" He spoke, head hanging down.
"I..I'm so Sorry"
I gasped out, eyes widening in fear. Why did I hurt him? Forgetting him was painful enough - but even after I gained my memories, I ran away from him, even when he was struggling to catch me back.
And here he is now, bidding me a farewell, which I never did, even with all the chances I was given.
"Na hye is so lucky" I feebly laughed, wiping a tear.
I'm a stupid idiot who had freaking amnesia and forgot all about him.
My amnesia was a truamatic attack to our hearts, and we were curing from it. Jinyoung oppa knew too well that we had to have distace and space in order for our hearts to be able to walk normally again.
"Na hye is curing my heart. I need her to keep me alive.. Without her, I don't know how to face you, how to act properly without my heart dying. It still hurts Ahn ah- but much less now, thanks to her." He smiled, rubbing his chest to indicate the emotional pain.
I nodded, thanking the gods that Na hye was there to save him.
I've been the demon in his life, and Na hye saved him like an angel. She stood firmly by him while I was running away like a retard, thinking it's for the best.
But I was so wrong.
"... Thank you for saving my life twice. I don't know what I would have been like without you. "I sobbed out, kissing his cheeks in gratitude.
A whole load of burden between us had been lifted, and we were now strong enough to properly say a good-bye.
"Ahn ah. No matter how life screws up, I'll always be there for you. Even if the world rips apart, I love you. Even if your heart loves someone else, I love you. But before can love you, I have to mend my broken heart first." He smile was filled with sorrow, and I nodded, thanking him for never leaving me like I did him.
With one last embrace, he gave me a firm nod and headed out the door, waving a good bye.
Goodbye Jung Jinyoung.
For now.
We'll meet again, ready for anything fate has in store for us
Until then,
Bye.... my heart
*** Author's Note***
- i honestly sniffled when I wrote this.
It made me realize that this fic lets me express all my thoughts into one flowing story line, twisting the plot and leading readers to see the true emotions beneathe it.
And i want to thank ALL MY READERS
Subscribers and also non subscribers for taking your time to listen to what I rant about so much ;)
Love,
B1A4bunny
HAPPY READING!!
and keep them comments coming...haha
every.single.comment makes my day,
good or bad >.<
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