End of an old book
Managing You & Me
"I'm home! Dakyung unnie? Umma?"
I squealed across the house.
"Ahn ah? Is that you?"
My mother replied.
I ran to her and hugged her.
"Oh I missed you SO much umma!!"
I laughed, proving that I haven't changed at all.
Maybe JUST a teensy bit with some hip-hop love but not that much.
"How's apartment search going?" She asked as she whisked away her buisness blazer.
"It's going somewhat great. Boss keeps urging me to get a place near the B.A.P oppas so he could summon us all, since Secret unnies live near too. I might just have to because of the prices on these freaking shelters!." I complained.
Living near B.A.P, you think life would be heaven.
Think again.
If Joonhong turns out to live next to me, I am screwed for he will smother me with night time aegyo.
If Yongguk oppa lived next to me, My beauty sleeps will be highly disturbed by the loud noises of his war movies, which he is addictied to.
If Himchan oppa lived next to me, heck, I'd be abusing my use of the parental guidance freedom. He's such an umma.
If Youngjae and Jongup oppas lived next to me, um, I actually don't have a problem with that...
If Daehyun lives near me, I am screwed for he will eat up my food like a vortex.
We share this undying love for cheesecake and he always wins our casual food bets , causing a huge cheesecake fight but anyways-
"I don't think it's THAT bad, living next to idol oppas" Dakyung unnie giggled as she came into the kitchen.
Of course she'd be thrilled. ( she just missed my little rant up there)
I just rolled my eyes and excused myself up to my room to pack my house belongings. It's going to be a heartbreak but hey-
My past was concluded with a heartbreak, so I'm picking its remebered pain up along the way.
It's a need for every new beginning.
Closing an old book of life requires heart pains.
Setting up the empty boxes, I pack all my clothes, most of my furniture, all of my B1A4 posters , KPOP CDs, and now,
I'm left with the unpackable.
the memories.
I was a different Ahn ah who used to live here.
The innocent, oblivious Ahn ah.
It's as if that Ahn ah is a part of me, the one that I never knew.
A part I never knew about myself, thus, nonexistent.
She was a stranger-
Someone not me.
In the hospital weeks ago, something in me clicked and changed, forming somewhat of a new me, reborn into the world as I gained my memories back.
*bleep! Bleep!*
My phone signaled a message.
From : Jinyoung
Ahn ah. I have to talk to you.
As soon as I read it, his name popped up on my screen as a phone call, waiting to be picked up.
Something's wrong -
I hesitated, wondering if I should pick up. My fingers fumbled, finally coming to press
" Accept".
Slowly bringing the phone close to my ear, I breathe out a stuttered, "Yeoboseyo?*"
"Ahn ah, please listen to this story." Jinyoung said, so suddenly out of the blue.
" O...okay" I sighed out.
Why do I have this feeling-
" This guy's heart was shattered to pieces after a girl left him. She didn't know she was leaving him. An angel came to save the ruined guy and the guy fell in love with the angel. The angel reminded him of the girl, hurting him everytime.
The girl came back into the guy's life, not knowing who he is.
She kept appearing, but to the guy she was now a stranger too.
He didn't know the girl anymore.
He held on to the feeling that deep inside, the girl he knew would still exist down there, but he was proven wrong. While the guy was fixing the painful puzzle, the angel always cared for him, was always there for him.
He knew loving the angel was wrong, for he still had the girl in his heart.
He now realizes that the girl has set him free, and he has set the girl free. .... Am I right - "girl"?"
He spoke of the story, and asked me the question, adressing me as the character in his story.
I was the girl, and he found his angel.
A stray tear fell down my cheeks, an apologetic tear.
With every word he has spoken, my own confused puzzle had been put into place.
I did set him free,
He set me free.
Heartbreaks are required to close an old book in life.
"Yes Jinyoung. I set you free and you set me free. Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. I'll always love you and I'll stop hurting your heart. Please set yourself free now. Saranghae*, Miahnhae*."
I sobbed.
Realizing the heavy burden I unconciously carried had been lifted, I let out a sad laugh of freedom.
An empty freedom, waiting for me to fill it up once again with precious memories.
"Thank you Ahn ah. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on to my heart for a bit longer. I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you."
Jinyoung whispered, lightness in his tone.
He's set himself free.
I nodded, for words were worth of no value, knowing that we were coming to the very end of the conversation.
"Goodbye Jinyoung"
I whispered, and hung up the phone.
So here I was, smiling at Jinyoung's newly found happiness.
Why couldn't I have set him free earlier? He wouldn't have had to suffer so much pain-
If only I could have known I would "die".
Then, I would have had time to set him free...
If only.
---------------------------------------
"..... So that's what happend"
I explained to Daehyun, who was carrying one of the last boxes of my stuff from the car.
He patiently listened, like he always does, and nodded as a understanding response.
Then, he rushed up the apartment building, carrying up the last bit of my moving-in objects.
"So you're single now?"
Yongguk oppa , who has a thing for eavesdropping, had snuck into our conversation as he shut the trunk of my car.
I let out a chuckle and nodded.
"Yes oppa. I'm y, free, and single."
He rolled his eyes at the joke and held out a hand.
"Shall we ..ahem.. you officially move in?"
I smiled at his shy welcome statement and took his hand.
He led me to the 3rd floor of the apartment building.
So, I decided to take boss's advice to move in near B.A.P oppa's dorm and it turned out to be DIRECTLY near them.
Like, 2 apartment homes away, on the same hall.
What I feared the most is coming true. I might as well as start building a secret food storage before Daehyun oppa eats up my food supplies.
Jongup oppa let me do the honors of opening my new apartment door and gestured me to go in.
Himchan oppa was standing in the shoe cabinet section, glaring at me to take my shoes off before entering, even if it was MY own dorm.
He broke into a giddy smile after I took my shoes off neatly.
My jaw almost dropped to the floor from the sight I witnessed.
Is this real?
Am I dreaming?
".. Did you guys hire a home designer?!" I gasped, seeing how all my things were put into delicate spaces, aligned neatly with new furniture and decorations that seemed to fit perfectly and belong here.
"And this is Noona's room! I personally decorated this room!"
Joonhong exclaimed, taking my arm and leading me into my room.
My eyeballs almost popped out at the prettiness. Joonhong did - this?
He placed my bed by the lace-curtained window? He put up... Some of my posters along with B.A.P posters? He placed the B.A.P Matoki bunny plushes near the window on my bed? He put a princess drawer desk beside the walk-in closet? He hung ALL my freaking clothes in hangers? He placed all my undergarments orderly in a drawer?- .
He put my and bras by color. I shot him a glare where he just giggled innocently. I slapped my forehead. Oyy.. Someone help his hopelssly erted kid.
Despite that disturbing fact that he went through - literally- my everything, I took him in surprise with a hug.
"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU JOONHONGIE!!~~~"
I squealed, loving my new room.
"Y..You're Www..Welll..lllcome noo..ona" he stuttered, surprised at the fact that I suddenly hugged him.
"Ahn ah! Get away from Jello!! He's dangerous despite his innocent image!!"
Youngjae shouted.
I chuckled and mouthed "I know" as I pointed to my color ordered bra and drawer.
Youngjae's face reddened from embarrassment and was quickly swept away by anger as he pounced on Joonhong.
"YAH! YOU ERTED JERK!!"
Youngjae chased Joonhong down the living room, ready to punch the living hell out of him.
Yongguk walked into my room, pointing to the commotion and raising his eyebrows in confusion.
Daehyun and Jongup silently followed behind, questioning the reason behind Youngjae's tomato-red unleash of anger.
Again, I gestured to my color ordered underwear collection.
Yongguk oppa covered his mouth, knowing all too well what Joonhong has done, and followed Youngjae oppa's plans to kill the living hell out of poor baby Jello.
Daehyun and Jongup started to crack up hysterically, tear of humor b their eyes.
I laughed with them as we watches Joonhong protest and throw a fit of denial that he didn't observe my underwear at all.
There it began, the start of my new life.
The new me,
A new heart,
No pains included.
__________________Glossary______________
- Saranghae : Many readers would already know this, but it means the big three letters. I Love You. In Korea, we don't use it AS much, making the word more valuable than just a - heyy buddy! Will you let me copy your homework? I Love you!! . No, it had more meaning.
- Mianhae : It means the big TWO words, the words you say at LEAST once in a committed relationship. It means I'm Sorry ( I'm sorry~~ Cnblue LOL) yes, this word has more depth culturally in Korea, for it's NOT used like : OH I'm sorry that you're mom's fat.
A.N - it feels like I haven't done Glossary in a while ^.^ Saranghae my readers!
Thats right, I used THE WORD on you all :3
kekekeke here's my virtual hug of love-
please don't slap me through the computer/phone screen :0
Comments