Crashing down
Managing You & Me
********Continued Flashback*******
I'm staring at my room ceiling, my head busting with like the whole SHABANG of confusion.
Last night I commited a lip crime , so lawless it broke the rules of "Rules of couples 101" completely into shattered bits.
Why did he kiss me?
Why did I kiss him?
Staring at the picture of Jinyoung hugging me with our couple T-shirts, a pang of guilt seeped into my selfish mind.
I wonder how he's doing.
Jinyoung oppa never called, texted me, or even notify me that he's still alive. Heck, I don't even know if he still loves me.
.... Until now
Tearing up, I see a text flash on my screen.
From : Jagi ☆
.. Ahn ah.. I can't do this anymore. Mianhae*.
My head blank and dazy as if slapped, my lips quiver at the sudden confession.
Wh..what?
I calm myself down, trying to find answers before I explode on him like a stupid bit*h.
This must have been so hard for him. His strict mother and a heartless father ( from what he told me about his family) , I would have been a disgusting piece of crap to them when Jinyoung told them of the news.
Yeah,that's probably it.
I don't want him to get hurt anymore.
To : Jagi ☆
If that's what you want, I'll always give it to you.
Bye Jinyoung.
Sent.
The waterfall of tears broke, sending down river after river of salty weakness. It was pitifully accompanied by helpless sobs. I fell off my bed and landed aimlessly on the floor, limp and strengthless. Crying and crying.
I hug my knees for any kind of warmth for my cold heart.
I've done so much wrong to him and all he did was love me.
He was mine and I was his, like two perfect pieces made to fit.
But something went wrong.
A fault occured.
Shoving my own assumption of his parents in denial,
what went wrong?
#Image of Jiho's smirk and Jinyoung's painful face.#
********* end of flashback********
I pant hard, holding on to my chest. Jinyoung's journal dropped to the floor and I sobbed pitifully.
The last image I saw of Jiho's smirk and Jinyoung's painful face set another puzzle to be fixed.
A scorching pain shot through my body. My arms felt like they were burning, my heart felt like it was ripped open and left to bleed and die. My legs were throbbing, as if beaten to pulp.
Ignoring all this, I just wanted to finish the damn flashback.
I. Have. To. Know.
I forcibly closed my eyes shut and wandered in my head for the lost memories. My hard panting subsided slowly as the flashback continued.
******** Continued Flashback*******
I was crying out loud, glad that my parents are away, I had nothing to lose.
"WHAT'S WRONG?!"
Jiho's voice asked me as he barged open the door and bursted in my room.
As my teary , sobbing-drenched gaze met his shocked eyeballs, he flew to the floor by me and embraced me in a comforting hug.
"Shhh. It's alright Ahnah. What happend?"
All I could reply through was sobs.
With trembling fingers, I gave him my phone. He checked through my messages and found the cause of shock. His eyes looked pissed off. I wailed into his shoulders, his hands caressing my back to comfort me.
I heard him hiss under his breath,
"That son of a bit*h"
And with a forced lighter voice, he said "Ahnah. I'll be back. I have to check on something."
I only nodded weakly, letting him go as he loosened his hold on me and called Byunghun from the other room.
Byunghun came rushing and Jiho filled him in on my state of being.
Byunghun's troubled glint in his eye stared at me with sympathy and he came into my room and Jiho shut the door behind him as he left.
Byunghun slowly approached me.
Pain lingered around my room, setting the painfully appropriate mood. Byunghun slid next to me on the floor and pushed his shoulder under my head, gesturing me to rest on his shoulders. I did, needing support, lean on his shoulders and silently sobbed as we heard the click of the front door, notifying us of Jiho's departure.
After a long silence, Byunghun broke it into shatters.
"... It wasn't because of me right?"
I just silently shook my head.
Getting my croaky voice to work, I managed to stutter , "n..No.. I didn't tell him"
He heaved a sigh of relief and whipered , "I'm so sorry Ahn ah"
I just weakly smiled and nudged his ribs with my elbow and let out a soft laugh.
L.joe's (remeber readers, they are the SAME person keke) arms wrapped around my limp body, comforting me and supplying the warmth I needed.
I just let down all my barriers and sobbed and sobbed.
Jinyoung's officially gone, and there's a slim chance I can take him back. He loved me and I loved him, no questions had to be answered until now.
Why did he?
--------------------------------
***********Your Story ( lol! You guys finally get a POV) ***************
"Aish! Let me through!"
Jiho swore he was screaming for the last time. If they don't let him through, the annoying men were going down.
"Sir, somebody's trying to enter without authorization but claims to know you."
The guards spoke into the walkie-talkie.
Grunting and shoving with all his deadly force, it took five of "boss's" wimpy guards to hold mad Jiho down.
He gritted my teeth in complete annoyance.
"Fu*k him" Jiho thought.
He doesn't even let his son enter his building.
As if he expected him to welcome him. Now that's some serious bullsh*t.
"I'm fu*king your boss's son!"
Jiho growled at the guards.
"Let him through."
The cold voice spoke behind the commotion, commanding the guards with full authoritiy.
The guards fell back, leaving Jiho's angry glares shooting at his "father" and another man next to him, surrounded by s.
"You know she's my friend. Why Dad? You know she's his son's girlfriend." Jiho spat the words, the deadly glare still in his flaming eyes, gesturing to the man surrounded by s.
Jinyoung had a terrible father, just like Jiho did.
"Son. This is business. If my co-worker's son is anywhere emotionally attached to the daughter of the other side, it's declaring war among us." The father spoke in a irritated voice,making his way to his son.
"You're a horrible man with no heart." Jiho felt his knuckles pop as he balled his hands to a tight fist, ready to punch the bastard of a father in front of him.
"Yet your mom fell for the heartless man. She was a "
Jiho heard his father chuckle, making the punch-ready fist fly straight to the bastard's face. The shooting anger was caught by Mr.Jung, Jiho's father's co-worker, Jinyoung's father.
"Stop this now Jiho. It's useless."
Mr.Jung hissed.
"You let your son's heart be ripped apart. Sir, I suggest you turn your back to your family and take care of that."
Jiho countered, sending stronger tension between their connected hand/fist.
Jiho shoved Mr.Jung's hands off, turning his focus back to his "father".
"You. If you don't stop hurting me and my friends, I'll be a real pain in your . I can easily bring torturing death to you." Jiho spat, venom embedded in each word.
His father's eyes widened, fearing his son's words. His son never said any false words, not even for threat. He had seen his "army"
before, for they took down twenty of his guards in matter of seconds.
Seven men , including his own son against twenty. No loss on Jiho's side.
Jiho turned around with a smirk, of triumph, for he knew he won this battle.
If his father laid a finger on Ahnah, he was going to kill him.
This time, For real.
-------------------------------------
********** Byunghun's Story**********
I knew where Jiho went.
To Mr.Woo, his father, boss of South Korea's most terrible illegal army.
Drug dealing to human trafficking,
Mr.Woo was planted firmly in the wanted grounds. The government was on endless searches for him, only to find nothing.
Jiho had to grow up watching this, helping his sick mom and secretly making an army of his own to take revenge.
Of course Ahn ah and I knew, just that we NEVER speak of this. It can bring out Jiho's deadly side, which is the most terrifying thing ever, if I don't count my deadly side. I can get scary.
Jiho and I both grew up from the rough, and practically lived our whole life protecting Ahn ah. In America, we met because of daddy issues and we weren't suppose to. They were in a gun fight till-death battle when their kids snuck out and bumped into each other. We were dangerously stupid from the beginning.
Ahn ah's mom took us, knowing that we were innocent kids not meant for danger, and we fled to Korea, where our dangerous fathers followed, and we escaped back to America.Now we are ALL BACK here in S.Korea, tension growing and danger lurking.
Ahn ah's mom risks her life everyday saving ours, Jiho and I make it up by protecting her daughter. Mostly physically. We were born fighters.
So now I'm here, leaving Ahn ah alone, to fix another problem, the one Jiho hasn't solved yet.
Jinyoung.
I called him and told him to meet me at the street alley.
His father being Mr.Woo's co-worker, he grew up rough too.The pretty flower-boy doesn't seem like it, but he knows exactly where I'm talking about.
I lean back against the destination's wall and silently wait for Mr.Jung's son to fulfill his promise. He didn't want to hurt Ahn ah did he? If he did, I'll smash that flower-like face into bloody pulps.
I see the dark, slender figure appear, his face reminding me of Ahn ah's.It had depression written all over it.
"Byunghun, my father made me, it's either that or he said he'll end Ahnah's life. Seemed like a much better choice."
Jinyoung bitterly snickered, displaying perfect pain.
Good. At least he didn't mean to hurt Ahnah purposefully.
"What's the company up to? Have you seen my mother?"
I asked, almost in a whisper.
Ever since my dad was shot by Mr.Woo, my mom joined the revenge group and remained silent, waiting for the right time for revenge, teaming up with Jiho. Seeing her personally was like a suicide mission, but Jinyoung can roam somewhat freely around.
"You're mom's alive and doing fine. No warnings yet."
Jinyoung informed me.
I sighed in relief and got back to Ahnah's situation.
"Are you going to tell Ahn ah?" I asked.
"That would bring more danger to her. Knowing we're not over, Mr.Woo is more than capable of causing harm to her." He replied.
Anger boiling, images of Ahn ah crying her heart out in the room I left her only a hour ago flashed.
My own tears fell, quickly wiped away by my hands.
I don't want Ahn ah to be sad.
I want to make her happy.
Always be there for her.
Yet it's Jinyoung she needs, and he's trying to protect her life by breaking her heart.
"Jinyoung, at least tell this to Ahn ah. She'll understand better."
And with that, I ran back to Ahn ah's house.
"Aish" I hissed,questioning myself why I have to love her.
-------------------------------------
************ Ahn ah's Story********
Yes, I'm still sobbing.
Byunghun left hours ago, saying he needs to take care of something.
I hate how they always say they are protecting me but breaks my heart. Without them, I'm really really nothing inside.
Pulling my hair in a messy bun, I slipped into a simple graphic T-shirt,an oversized knit cardigan, and jeans. Snuggling into my pastel-color converse, I head out to the playground to ease my mind.
My eyes glued to the ground, I drag my feet to where the playground is. Before I can make it there, I see my feet wobbling, causing me to fall. Tears fell back, all my memories of Jinyoung came again. Wiping my tears , I realize I have our ring on. I want him back.
I want to hug him. I want to see him. I need him.
On the ground weeping, I probably look like a pathethic loser. That's who I am now and I know I have to get up and move on, like I did many times in my life. Hopping from country to country, gun hidden in my boots, protecting and guarding all the time, running for my life.
But I couldn't guard my heart, the most vulnerable spot of me. A gigantic hole was punched out of it and here I am, on the ground, missing that huge part of me.
I heard leaves crunch, and footsteps coming closer. My traumatic reflexes cursed at my absence of a ready-to-shoot gun. I stood up quickly and began to run.
Then, my wrist was caught by a hand. A really, painfully familiar hand.
Without hesitation, I turn around and see Jinyoung's pained eyes.
More sobs broke out, I thought I was hallucinating because I wanted to see him so bad.
But that thought was proven wrong when his hands moved from my wrist to my cheeks.
He wiped my tears and slipped a note in my pocket. Then, he left, walking away from me, as if I was just dreaming.
No, I'm not dreaming and I don't want him to leave. I rushed forward and hugged his back.
Tight. Not letting him go this time.
"Don't go" I whispered, audible only to his ears.
I felt him shudder. He then turned around facing me and held my hand up to his eyes. There were trickling tears, just like mine.
He shook his head , gesturing he can't stay. He turned back around for the last time and sprinted away, leaving me feeling the bone-crushing cold again. A cry broke from my throat, causing me to helplessly wail.
He came and left, like the wind in a dream. Nonexistent but... there.
I ran to the playground and hurriedly fumbled open the note.
***note****
To Ahn ah,
My father works for Jiho's father.
You know what that means.
I love you but can't be with you.
For you.
I can't risk your life for my happiness, ever.
I was enrolled into your highschool to a mission to spy on you.
I never realized I was falling in love.
Then Mr.Woo threatened to kill you and I ran away.
We'll meet later Ahn ah, when nothing bad in the world exists any more.
I'll be waiting until we can meet again.
You'll always be in my heart, no matter what.
I love you
Saranghae* Baek Ahn ah.
- JJY
*****end of note*****
I saw drops of tears wetting the surface of the note.
He could have told me,
No it was too dangerous.
I don't know what to think anymore.
Then, I saw my mother run to the house, as if being chased.
Taking this alarm, I placed the note back into my pocket and ran to the house.
Barging in and locking the door, I found my mother crying and yelping.
"MOM!!"
I found her, rummaging through the wall. She was looking for it.
That meant-
No.no.no.no.NO.NO.OH GOD NO.
"Mom! What are you doing?! Please don't tell m-"
I was cut off my her nod.
My voice wailed, more tears broke. Then, something in me quickly clicked. Into anger.
"By who mom?"
I growled.
"WHO KILLED DAD?!"
I almost barked, like a mad animal.
Dad told us that when he dies , to open the hidden safe in the wall, take the contents and run, anywhere that's away from Korea.
Mom replied, "Mr.Woo".
With a shattering intake of cold breath, a name popped up into my head.
Jiho.
"MOM WHAT HAPPEND TO JIHO?!?!!"
I yelled, scared of the answer.
Mom just nodded and whispered "he's fine. Byunghun and Jiho will meet us at the airport. Honey, get your things. We have to leave now."
At this, I grabbed an empty luggage and started packing all valuables. Mom was already packing the contents of the safe, which was about 20 million dollars. Dad was being serious when he said we were prepared.
He would want me to stop bawling over him like a wimp. He'd want me to stop whining.
I wiped all bits of wet sogginess from my eyes and continued packing.
I knew Jinyoung was safe, for he was with me only moments ago. Then I realized I never told my parents who my boyfriend was.
It's better that way, before it caused more worrying and grief.
Zipping up the last luggage, we
rushed out the house and locked the doors.
Bye, Korea.
Bye, Memories,
Bye, Me
... For now
-------------------------------------
Waiting for the airplane, Mom and I are on constant watch for anything spelled danger.
The coast is clear,
Nobody's after us,
We are about to flee.
All good except 2 things.
Well, 2 people.
Jiho and Byunghun.
I keep texting and calling them, only earning no replies.
My alreay-panicky mind is going berserk.
What if some bad guy caught up to them? I'm sure that Jiho and Byunghun could take bad guys down but why do I have this doubt?
Then, I feel taps on both my shoulders.
I whip around , impatient fear growing in my eyes.
"Hey"
Byunghun in a decent wig whispered.
"I'm sorry"
Jiho covered in a hood apologized.
To protect their idol images, they were in a hoodwink (fooling in appearance) mission.
"Yah! Dorks! Where are your phones?" I hissed under my breath, all three of us knowing well that we can't make a scene.
Reason one being , I have guns in my luggage, fooled by the chemical dad always prepares which jacks up the security system to be normal throughout when weapons and metals are there.
"Uhhr.. We lost it?"
Byunghun generally guessed.
I guess when you are on a kill-or-die battle to wipeout a whole illegal company of armed men, you could lose your cellphone.
My mom was turned around, knowing Byunghun and Jiho's presence, but not interfering in our conversation.
I glanced behind the dorks and saw ... No luggage.
My eyebrows went up in a quizzical form and my eyes focused back on my two friends.
With a sigh, Byunghun began.
"Ahn ah, Jiho and I are going to stay in Korea. Let's not forget we're idols and we want to make sure the coast is clear before you return back here. I'll tell this to TS Ent and we just want you and your mom to be safe. Please."
I blinked, absorbing all this information, and realized I was blinking back tears.
Reality hit me.
This is going to be the first time in my life that I wouldn't ...live with them.
They were ALWAYS there, like my brothers, at home, at school, at after-school class, and now, we would be worlds apart.
"And I think you would want to see someone before you leave."
Jiho finished.
Looking to where Jiho was gesturing to, I didn't have to answer a question. I didn't want to.
Jinyoung.
I know him like the back of my hand, even if he's covered in a hoodie.
I ran to him and wrapped my arms tightly around his figure that was leaning against a wall.
I felt a sob come up and being sick of sobs, I held it down.
"J..Jinyoung oppa!"
I squealed.
With no words spoken, Jinyoung brought me closer. We only gazed into each other's longing eyes.
Then, he reached for my back pocket, the sacred place for my phone, brought it up, and looked through my messages. His eyes lit up when he found it.
"Ah ha!"
He confirmed, and with that, deleted a message.
He flipped the screen to my view and deleted our "break up" conversation.
"Now, we never broke up!"
Jinyoung announced.
I giggled, "what breakup?"
Smiles stretched across our faces and Jinyoung sealed the last bit of space between us by softly landing his lips onto mine.
I pulled him even closer.
This oppa is mine es.
Before any more staring could be done, I broke apart, needing air and knowing that many stares were given to us.
I guess I'll save some for later.
BANAs can have their Jinyoung now.
But he's still mine.
"All passengers boarding air number 301 , air 301 is boarding now."
The announcement slapped me back to reality.
Jinyoung caressed my cheeks and said , "we'll be together soon. Okay?"
I nodded and with that, gave mischeivious smiles to Byunghun and Jiho. They saw me go into the plane and then, I was off.
Bye, for now.
--------------------------------------
Waking up to the sunglight biting my eyes, I sit up and look around, making sure my highschool dorm friends are still asleep.
With a simple sigh, I get dressed and wash up. My glossy reflection in the mirror predicted a good day today. Well, it's a Saturday afterall.
No school classes. Yay.
Since I'm a highschool senior, it shouldn't mean much but this Saturday is special. It's the 2nd year anniversary
I was about to go out to the usual bakery to grab a breakfast when Amy asked in her morning voice, "where you going Ahn ah?"
I just showed a smile and said , "Just going to breakfast"
Amy nodded and went back to sleep. I closed the dorm room behind me and walked with light steps to the bakery.
The blooming spring air of New York reminded me of the wood-scented smell of Classroom 298 in highschool. That was 2 years ago already.
Opening the glass doors of the bakery, I step up to the cash register and see my friend already working.
"Emily! You're already working?! You never wake up this early!"
I jokingly stated, earning a grin from Emily.
"Oh shut up Ahn ah. Do you want the usual?"
I nodded as I paid the money to Emily.
Sitting down on the booth near the window, I sip on my coffe and wait for my routined morning chicken&bacon panini. Yum.
I close my eyes and trail my thoughts back to the time at the airport, when we were just leaving Korea 2 years ago.
Jiho and Byunghun have been doing really , REALLY well , especially since they are, let's not forget, "idols".
Teentop's been up and running for 2 years now, promoting Crazy, which literally drove more Angels crazy. Byunghun, ahem I mean, L.joe got the main character part in the music video and he e-mailed me it's been great. Ah haha. Yeah. Great.
Jiho officially debuted last year, as leader of Block B , with their single "Freeze" .
I always knew he wanted a crazy hairdo. He must be one happy, ghetto, raggae camper now.
And what hit me last year was.
Block B and B1A4 did a show called MTV's Match up.
Yeah. Jinyoung and Jiho .
Togetherness.
It was so funny watching my boyfriend and bestfriend pretend like they don't know each other. Block B even made Jiho ask Jinyoung to take a picture with him. I cracked up laughing and texted those two dorks : Good Job.
Thank you Block B.
So my little Zico has been working hard for a comback and is composing Block B's new song Nalina. He sent me an audio clip of it and it was of course, it was the usual work of master Zico. Amazing.
I'm studying hip hop arts because I refused TS Ent's offer of joining their new girl group, Secret.
I didn't want to be those fake girly idol that makes money by being pretty. There's a technical term for that. .
Sorry. But I don't do fake& pretty.
So my boss understood, and 6 other trainee-mates agreed with me too, so boss is planning to send us to a music college in Korea as soon as Junhong, one of the 6 trainee-mates, goes into highschool, and I finish highschool in America.
Yeah. He's that young.
(Because Korea has elementary school up to 6th grade, when Jello [Junhong- keke] goes into Korean highschool, it's 10th grade in America)
Whenever I visit Korea to work at TS Ent during school breaks, Junhong bothers me with his endless aegyo (even if he's only like, 2 years younger than me) and I end up falling for it and pinching his cheeks.
The Secret sunbaes' can't do that cuz the 6 guys are always uncomfortable around them.
KEKEKE
I think the 6 guys just don't see me as a girl/woman... *sigh*
Yongguk oppa, who is 4 years older than me, takes care of me along with Junhong and the rest of the members. He's almost like my new father. Himchan's like my sub-mother, since MY mother's in America and he's so .. SO CARING. ( lol like whut)
Daehyun always talks to me in his Boosan-dialect (*A.N* - B1A4 SANDEULLL~~ kyahh~). He's kinda been my go-to guy whenever I'm bored or I have nothing to do. He's my bestfriend "business-wise" and personal-wise since my two dork friends are busy in their own entertainment companies. Jongup never forgets to teach me some of his new moves, and Youngjae ... Sleeps... But he's still my buddy.
They were now officially training to be an idol group of the name B.A.P.
With Yongguk oppa, they would be unstoppable.
So here I am, nibbling on my panini, studying all ins and outs of music. Jinyoung and I have a long-distance relationship which doesn't bother me at all because heck, we waited for each other even when our dads were dead.
Yes, his father turned out to have been shot by my dad. But he was kind of happy since he won't have a father that keeps abusing his loving mother and keep bringing their family to danger. Jiho and Byunghun too, which just leaves me weeping over my own caring dad.
Jinyoung oppa and B1A4 couldn't have been any better, for they are now promoting their official album, "Ignition". Jinyoung told me he wrote "Baby I'm Sorry" thinking about me. Well thankyou oppa. Now I know that you're sorry and that you got the "better". I told him to get "better" at English.
It's only weeks until graduation and Jinyoung oppa told me we would celebrate our 2nd year-aversary on my graduation day.
***********End of Flashback********
{ Back to Present}
My head throbbed of the mental- physical injury as my memory started weaving itself and forming the missing puzzle of the whole picture of my life.
I stitched this newly gained memory with my last-last flashback, the one where I ended up in the hospital. It all made sense now.
My mom's smile flashed in my head, reminding me of her absence. Tears trickled down.
I realized that its 2013 now, and I can't go back and change the stupid things I did.
So B.A.P pretended like they didn't know me, now ridiculously obvious since Junhong , I mean Zelo, was like "OH I SO DON'T KNOW YOU NOONA".
He is still obviously stupid.
This means I can go back to T.S and live my dreams.
I have to slap Byunghun for kissing me, I have to slap Jiho for thinking it was his fault he didn't make sure everybody was dead from the company, and I have to slap Jinyoung for not telling me everything.
And now I realize why nobody did, because my head started swimming in a pool of nothingness. I should have found a gun and shot that kidnapper before he beat the sh!t out of me ,
because I feel my hearteat slow down into an abnormal pace and my body shuddering from the immense pain in the head. With my last strength, I heard myself scream a high-pitched shriek of pain
before I out.
Author's Note:
SO! A super long chapter to make up for procrastinating haha
so... Yeah..
The story didn't turn out to be the innocent cutesy - adorbs little fic.
Ah.ha.ha... Don't be surprised yet
This unexpected twist will kinda come in handy I guess for later haha
thanks guiiees! U KNOW I LOVE YA'LL < LOL
HAPPY READINNGGGGHHHH~
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