Where to Return
Managing You & Me
BEEP BEEP BEEP
I SWEAR TO ANYONE ABOVE THAT IF THAT ING SOUND REPEATS AGAIN IN MY LIFE,
I WILL GO KILL SOMETHING.
Sitting up, I crossed my arms with a gigantic pout.
I slammed by back to the hospital bed's headboard and glared at the nurse.
She flinched at my death-stare and backed away, finishing to organize the IV tubes that puzzled its way through my body.
The nurse left in a rushed scurry,
and I blinked blankly to go through a re-boot moment.
I am Baek Ahn ah,
1994-07-19 is my birthday
I dated 3 boys.
Bang Yongnam who went insane and drugged me,
Jung Jinyoung the one my heart will remeber all the time
Jung Daehyun , step brother of Jinyoung and my savior.
My life line streamed past me without a single headache....
My memories are back-
and I'm alive.
A knowing smile crept up my lips.
"KKKKKYYYYAAAAAHHHHH!!"
The hospital room shook, my squeals echoing through the building halls.
"She's..awake"
Yongguk announced as he rubbed his ringing ears.
Youngjae sighed a breath of relief as he patted Daehyun's trembling back.
Jongup was trying to calm Zelo down while he was muttering scary things to himself.
"Noona's going to die- she's going to die"
Himchan ran to Ahn ah's room, acting before any thoughts could proceed to his mind as Ahn ah's screams started to die down.
"What's wrong?!?" He yelled, slamming open the doors.
I stared at him blankly as he slowly approached my bed, cautiosly observing me , eyes wondering carefully.
"... Do you know who I am..?"
He asked.
I pretended to think a little, causing him to gasp.
I burst out in giggles and responded,
"Yes I remeber the skin-ship advocating, water-proof buying pretty face of B.A. P, Kim Himchan oppa."
He broke out in a wide grin and nodded enthusiastically, rushing out the doors to notify s that Ahn ah's alive.
And this time - she rembers everything.
Himchan ran down the hall and saw 5 figures of s, and three new ones.
Catching his breath, Himchan saw Daehyun's step-brother- Jinyoung, Ahn ah's two best friends Byunghun and Jiho, and the doctor.
With the confidential clipboard, the doctor was flipping through papers and informing the group about Ahn ah's status.
"None of her mental nerves were affected, thanks to the prompt arrival of her at the hospital. If she came a second late-"
"She could have died."
The group finished the terrifying sentence.
Daehyun heaved a huge breath and loosened his tight grip on the arm rests of his chair.
Yongguk sighed as glanced at Jinyoung, who looked like he'd been hit by a truck.
The love of his freaking entire life almost died again....
No wonder he looks like he's seen a ghost- he thought he almost would.
Yongguk's thoughts traveled to and fro, remebering that the two brothers love the same girl-
Even if one showed his love to her physically...
Daehyun was talking with Jinyoung while Jiho and Byunghun decided to take the chance and visit their fragile Ahn ah.
Just how many times does the past have to come back and bite her in her innocent ?
"Yah! Woo Jiho!! Lee Byunghun!!"
I called out, holding out my arms.
Two pieces of me-
They came to visit me.
Jiho hugged me hesitantly and I tugged on his dirty-blonde hair to embrace him while our precious L.joe waited his turn.
"Ahn ah.. It's all my fault- I thought everything was over- I almost killed you again-" Jiho growled, gritting his teeth in guilt.
".. What the are you talking about retard? How is ANY of this your fault? It's my fault that I dated an over obsessive creeper! You were right!! I shouldn't have gone out with him!" I pouted, turning around to give L.dork his hug.
Jiho just shook his head in denial, earning glances and rolled eyes from me and Byunghun.
"Come on Jiho- that's the past, and I'm literally SICK of going back there. We all deserve to move on and be relieved from our pains now."
I stated firmly, squeezing both their hands in mine.
Byunghun just smirked and nodded, his blonde-tinted hair shifting, just like back in the days.
Jiho gave me a questioning glance and gave up, nodding and grinning.
"Yah Woo Jiho- keep your head up. You rapped all your life about how amazing you are {LEGIT. His songs are usually all about how"fly" he is...}
and NOW you're putting your head down? Who are you and what have you done to my Zico!?"
Jiho grinned back and lightly punched my arm, mouthing "thank you".
I gladly nodded back and comfortably laid back in the hospital bed.
"Now you guys go on and do your things- Congrats on Teentop's concert Byunghun-ah!"
Byunghun let out a soft laugh and headed out the doors, followed by a smiling Jiho.
My two pieces of life-
Going seperate paths, but we know that we can't ever seperate.
I waved them a goodbye and let out a light laugh as I heard the door click.
As soon as I let out a sigh of relief, the door slammed open and Jinyoung oppa rushed in.
Tears filled my eyes as the songs flooded back.
My voice froze, paralyzing me, and Jinyoung oppa embraced me in a desperate hold.
"Ahn ah- .... Are you okay?"
More tears flowed-
He was always asking me if I was doing okay, if I was sad , mad, or even if I felt bad.
He was always there.
After processing the gazillions word choices I could speak to him, only 5 words managed to come out.
"Can I see your wallet?"
Jinyoung oppa and my eyes furrowed in slight confusion , surfacing crimson colors to my flustered face.
Why am I all tongue tied and confused? Heck-
Jinyoung oppa gladly handed me his wallet, a sad glint in his eyes.
I flashed him a questioning look as he nodded, and I flipped open his wallet.
Tears-
More tears-
Glops of tears-
The picture of me smiling, our hands entwined in one, was neatly displayed on the wallet profile picture slot.
"You're still- w-writing so-ngs about me?- Oppa, you-u're a B-abo"
I sobbed, stuttering out laughs as the lyrics flashed in my mind
'You, in my wallet, I blame your smile that lingers on the picture inside'
He covered the wallet and softly took it back,slipping it back into his back pocket as he gently wrapped his arms around me.
"I guess I'm a babo then."
I laughed through my soggy face and felt the very thing I needed-
Rest.
I can breathe freely now-
I wasn't suffocating from...life anymore.
Jinyoung's slow heartbeats slowly calmed me down, and I found myself breathing along with him.
He gave me a sad sqeeze and let me go, ruffling my hair to lighten the saddened mood.
I held back falling tears and dimmed my thoughts of how I missed him so much-
How I need him so much.
A knowing look of sadness, remorse, love, and forgiveness passed through us, and I smiled back in gratitude.
I can never thank Jung Jinyoung enough as to what he has done for me.
The door once again busted open and the tension heated up.
Daehyun oppa glanced between Jinyoung and me, breathing out a mysterious sigh.
Jinyoung sqeezed my hand for the last time, and left the room.
"Daehyun-"
He wrapped his arm around, shushing me.
His other hand held my head and leaned it on to his shoulder, his fingers tangled in my hair.
I heard shuddering breaths of fear and relief, triggering guilt deep inside of me.
As if on cue, Daehyun oppa mangaed to talk.
"Ahn ah- I was so scared I would lose you..... Please don't leave"
His sobs became more and more audible and the hurt in my heart became more clear.
"Miahnhae... I'm sorry Daehyun oppa-" I whimpered, hating the fact that I made him cry, that I made those weak tears fall from his well-guarded heart, that I opened a wound of his hidden mind.
He kept it guarded and protected for so long that this punch I gave to his heart was almost overbearing.
And it's my fault.. Again.
Daehyun's darkened eyes landed on me, and he brought his lips forward on mine, caressing it gently with his.
Hot tears rolled down his face, on to my cheeks, bringing more pain for me.
We parted, and I took his cheek in my hand to rub the tears away.
"Please don't cry oppa- I'm sorry"
"I'm not sad Ahn ah. I'm happy that you didn't forget me. I'm happy that you're memories are now full on back, without vital, physical harm."
He muttered, rocking me in his arms.
I gave his lips a light peck and we smiled in contentment, celebrating the fact that I'm alive, and I won.
I won against life.
The B.A.P memebers filed inside my room in a blur of hugs and attempted kisses blocked by Daehyun.
I ended up with a 190cm (6'2) baby in my arms, consoling the gigantic toddler from his panic attack.
"I'm here Joonhongie~ don't cry~ "
I pleaded, patting his broad back.
"B..but Noo..ona a-almost d..died!!"
He wailed, tightening his grip on me.
Youngjae rolled his eyes, gesturing his height and mental difference with a big gap he made with his arms.
I smiled and continued hugging the minor, feeling Daehyun's glare grow stronger.
Oblivious of the Daehyun radar set upon me, Zelo desperately cuddled me in my hospital bed, sobbing at his imaginary fears of me dying.
Himchan oppa was still pouting at the fact that he almost could have kissed me, and glared at Daehyun for shoving him away roughly while
Jongup and Youngjae occupied themselves with the kids' hospital puzzle by the table.
Yongguk oppa stared blankly, hands folded, and wore a grim expression.
I felt as if I was walking on a thin line of ice, almost too much to the point of shattering into pieces and hurling all my loved ones to a deep abyss of depression.
Why is it always me causing all this pain?
Joonhong's cries died down, and he was breathing evenly beside me, sound asleep like a baby he is.
I chuckled and ran a hand through his dark blue strands of hair.
Himchan oppa eyed us with warmth in his eyes and exchanged glances between me and Yongguk oppa, who was obviously trapped in a serious cage of unresolved thoughts.
I nodded at Himchan oppa, who motioned the other members to follow him as woke Zelo up, who followed with a tiny whine but didn't protest due to his half-asleep conciousness.
Youngjae oppa gave me a half-smirk, Jonup mouthed "Hwaiting" and Daehyun flew in a kiss.
Then, it was just Yongguk oppa and me in the silent room.
"You can't do this to yourself Ahn ah....it's all my fault"
His deep voice trembled, setting a sad flare in my heart.
I carefully slid out of my bed and clung my weak feet into the hospital slippers, making my way to him.
Before he could register the fact that I was standing up and walking, I held him in my frail arms, soothing his back.
"You aren't suppose to stand up.. Idiot" Yongguk oppa scoffed, supporting my weight with his hand as I continued to cling on to him.
He's acting like he's fine and nothing happend, but it's Yongguk oppa who's suffering the most.
Because he looks exactly like my hell.
"Nothing's your fault! To me, you're an angel araso?" I scolded, hating to see him beat himself up emotionally because of a stupid fact that he had an evil twin.
"Bang YongGUK, let's just be happy that I remeber you this time. Kay?"
I firmly stated and lightly punched his arm, hiding the effort I had to strain into that one tiny joke of an action.
I couldn't fool him in a long run, so of course he knew I was physically suffering right now.
He swept me off my feet and put me in the bed, swiping loose hair away from my face.
"Hey Ahn ah?"
"Hmm?"
"Doctor said no strength-requiring activites. I guess I'll have to send Daehyun home."
My face heated up as he chuckled at his dirty remark, and disappeared beyond the doors.
I snuggled my head deeper into the pillow, drowned in jumbled thoughts.
But I know one thing for sure.
One thing that time after time, it seems like I know exactly where to go to, and how to return-
Just because of one heart.
His love, my blank mind always rushed to, without a doubt.
Even if all my memories of it were gone.
Him....
The story of my life....
Jung Jinyoung
_____Author's Note_____
I've been so busy.
You may shoot me.
i love you guys so much-
id rather have the 22 of you than 122058104818 of careless readers who unsubscribe in a blink with foul and wrongful judgment based on false opinions.
B1A4's first win!!!
ahhhhhh!!
I almost cried with them.
It's been long years since their debut, and they finally won-
I'm so proud of them.
They prpudly showed that in the midst of all the fake autotunes and makeup, that true originality can still shine brighter than what money can buy.
They stuck to what they loved the most and won.
They deserved this win more than ever.
I'm so proud of my oppas for never falling down like other deceased rookie idol groups and pushing forth their original music and passion-
what true artists must possess.
HWAITING B1A4!
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