Just as you had slipped into Baekhyun's room, a figure slipped out of your room. Huiling was light on her toes as she made her way to the small balcony, carefully pulling back the curtain in front of it and revealing the boy who had been waiting for her.

'You didn't wake up Haneul, did you?'

Huiling shook her head. 'Haneul left the room before I did. She's in someone else's room... somewhere.'

Lay sighed as he moved over giving Huiling some room to squeeze in beside him.

'Yixing- I mean, Lay-'

'What was it you wanted to talk to me about?'

'It's really hard to say this, Yixing,' Huiling said, 'wait, sorry. I meant Lay. I'm sorry for getting it wrong again. Sorry.'

She bowed her head and Lay put a hand on her head awkwardly from the lack of space. 'Just call me Yixing if it's easier, Huiling.'

'But you want me to call you Lay.'

'Don't kill yourself over it,' Lay replied softly, 'call me whatever you want.'

Huiling looked down to her folded legs. 'Can I call you my boyfriend?' she mumbled quietly, 'Yixing...'

Lay was silent and didn't move for a moment. He simply stared out onto the courtyard until the lamp posts blurred out into nothing more than small and faint orange lights.

'Yixing?'

'I'm sorry, Huiling.' Huiling smiled sadly. 'I should have known better,' she said, 'it's greedy of me to ask so much of you when I never gave you anything when you needed it most.' She exhaled deeply. 'I wish I could reverse back time to make up for my mistake. I wish I had helped you before.' She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. 'It's always been you but I was just an idiot not to realise. You used to talk to me as a friend but I chose to stand by the person who talked to me as a master does to a servant.'

She lifted her head and smiled at Lay who was still left expression-less.

'It's too late for apologies, isn't it? Just as it's too late to ask you for forgiveness-'

'Huiling, I forgave you a long time ago.'

'Then why does everyone still hate me?'

'You have to understand that we all come from bad pasts.' Lay exlained, 'and so anyone related to that past is automatically disliked. None of us like Kai's brother just as none of us like the people that made Baekhyun's life misery. It goes without saying. I know it's unfair but it is what it is.'

'Yixing, I know I should have done something. I hate myself for not sticking up for you but being held for that even now makes me feel sick. I've changed.'

'Huiling, I know you have-'

'What's wrong with me? Is there someone else you like?' 

Lay's eyes flicked and Huiling quickly bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She clutched at her neck, trying to massage the ball that had suddenly formed and choked back on her words.

'Haneul?' 

A glance from Lay was all that was needed. Her fears were confirmed. 

'I'm an idiot.' 

Lay shook his head. 'No, I'm the idiot. I led you on far too long and I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have.'

'My necklace...' Huiling said quietly, 'how long did you save up to buy it for Haneul? I'll give it back to you once we go back indoors. It's not mine.' 

'It took a while,' Lay admitted, 'and no, you keep it. It's yours.' 

'Not rightfully.' 

'I want you to have it.'

'Why are you still being so nice to me? Wouldn't you rather I get out of your hair and go back home faster?' 

'Huiling-'

'Please come with me.' Huiling said, 'I've asked so much from you and I owe you more than I can ever repay back but please, as my last favour, please come with me. Even just to help me settle. You don't have to stay and you don't have to let the press know you're back. Please.' 

Lay shook his head. 'Huiling, I can't. I never want to go back.'

'Is it because of me?'

'No, it's not-'

'Please just consider it,' Huiling begged, 'it won't be as a couple- just as a friend. Please. I don't know if I can go back by myself. I'm scared.'

Sighing heavier than he had ever done so around Huiling, Lay wrapped an arm around her and held her close to his chest. He allowed her to rest her head on him as she sniffed and tried to stop tears from leaking out.

'You're not supposed to be scared of your home.' Lay said quietly, '

'Then why aren't you returning?' Huiling whispered back, 'are you scared?'

Lay nodded as he glanced at the light coming from under the door to Baekhyun's room.

'It's selfish but... I'm scared of losing Haneul.'

 

***

 

'Jaemin, I don't want to leave my dorm.'

You had woken up to Chanyeol lying on the floor in between the bed you were in and Chanyeol's. It wasn't long until you realised Baekhyun had tricked you into sleeping in Chanyeol's bed and seeing the photos of him and Maddie pasted on his wall both infuriated and amused you. So to punish him, you stole every picture using Chanyeol's long arms to reach over the sleeping Baekhyun and pluck them off the wall. Then you had hugged Chanyeol and he had hugged you tighter, saying he was sorry for running off and that he had been scared. That was when Baekhyun started to stir and wake up and the two of you scarpered faster than mice running from a cat.

'I need your help, Haneul! Please come out. Please! Please! Please!' Jaemin pleaded over the phone, 'I just need an opinion- a female opinion.'

'Why don't you ask one of the others?'

'They'll say no...'

'What makes you think I'll say yes?'

'Wel... Because it's you...'

You glared at your mobile as you slipped on your shoes. 'Yah, oppa! You're so dead when I get there! How dare you think I'm easier than the other girls?!'

'You're also our youngest but thanks, Haneul!' Jaemin said happily, smiling to himself, 'I love you lots and lots!'

It took less than 10 minutes to zigzag your way to the sports centre and it would have taken even less had Luhan not insisted you wait for him as he was going to head down for a game of football anyway.

'So why does hyung want to see you?'

You shrugged, 'he said he needs my opinion.'

'Opinion? On what?'

'I have no idea. He just said he needed a female opinion.'

'Maybe he's going to ask you how to ask a girl out or something?' Luhan suggested and you laughed.

'Jaemin-oppa likes someone already but he won't ask her out.'

'Why not?'

'She's got a boyfriend already. Apparently he isn't very nice but she likes him.'

'How do you know that?'

'Jinri reveals a lot of her secrets when she's tipsy. It's just unfortunate that she chose to reveal her brother's.'

Luhan laughed, 'well promise me not to bite his head off when you get there, okay?'

He held out his pinky finger and you wrapped your own around it.

'Promise.'

 

You arrived at the pool, the hot air blasting your face making you feel uncomfortable. From the office, you could see Jaemin loudly banging his head against the desk and you rushed in, taking your hoodie off at the same time. Grabbing the remote, you first the electric fan to full power and then you used it to slam it down on the table.

'Jaemin-oppa, what the hell are you doing?'

'Haneul! You came!'

'And a good thing I did too! Honestly, oppa. What on earth has got you so worked up?'

Jaemin smiled sadly. 'Two things. The first is personal.'

You raised your eyebrows. 'And the second?'

'Help me choose which design to go for.'

He gestured to his computer screen and there was an email up showing four different designs for a swimming team shirt and jacket. You groaned and glared at your captain and coach. 

'Are you serious? Luhan made me promise not to kill you, oppa, but if you really just called me out to pick something like this, I'm not going to resist.'

'Please Haneul, just tell me which one is the best.'

'Why didn't you ask Jinri?'

'She's too busy working on a new song or something-... Haneul, please. Pick. Choose.'

'Number three.'

'Are you sure?'

'You wanted me to pick and now you're-'

'Okay! Number three it is!'

'Honestly,' you sat down on the floor and wrapped your hoodie around your knees, staring at the empty cans of energy juice, 'oppa, how long have you been here?'

Jaemin glanced at his mobile phone. 

'14 hours and 37 minutes. No, wait. Make that 38.'

'Why have you been here that long?'

'I've been thinking. I went for a swim then came here to deal with my emails.'

'Thinking? About?'

Jaemin shook his head as he reached under his desk and lifted a six-pack of Coca Cola. You lunged forwards and took them away from him, giving your best 'oh no you don't' look.

'You're not acting very sunbae-like right now, oppa.'

'To hell with being a good role model.'

He reached into his drawer and took out a small shot bottle. It wasn't anything new to you. Students used it all the time when they were cramming for tests. Suho had used them religiously until Kris banned him. You were guilty too. As was Lay. Anything to stay awake to revise myocardial infarction. 

'To hell with it all.'

 

---

 

Back in the dorm, Huiling paced up and down in the sun on the small and cramped terrace balcony. Once she began to feel sick, she put on her shoes and made her way to the roof where she sat under a parasol trying to make sense of the conversation she had had with Lay in the morning. Lay liked you. Now she was sure of it. 

And it hurt. Oh by God, the truth hurt. He was scared of losing you. She was scared of losing him. She was scared of returning home by herself and she wanted Lay to live the way he was supposed to- loved and adored by a nation waiting for his return. But now all those days spent dreaming about the possible seemed stupid and impossible and Huiling wanted to do something stupid to punish herself for being what someone would call a complete and utter idiot. 

So she cried. She sat under the parasol and the bleating sun for hours, crying to her hearts content. No one tried to find her for lunch. No one tried to find her at dinner. She heard nothing.

And she felt like nothing. No one wanted her around so maybe she just shouldn't be around. Maybe she shouldn't go back home but she couldn't possibly intrude any longer in a dorm where she was an unwated guest. Even Lay seemed to be getting fed up of her and she hated that. She lifted the edge of her shirt and examined the scars on her torso. She'd never wear a bikini again. Nor a crop top. She pulled down the waist band of her short slightly and lightly the cuts that were still healing. 

That was one of the reasons why she thought her and Lay would work out. He was scarred, as was she. If he was embarassed about his wounds, so was she. They could both be ugly, together. It comforted Huiling knowing that someone else she knew was just as hurt as she was. It didn't comfort her when she had to think that Lay was scarred because of her. Because of her damned incompetence to do anything. To stand and watch in horror as the person who controlled her for so long beat away her only real friend. And the more he beat Lay, the more Lay grew to distrust her. The more Lay got beat, the more Huiling felt like she couldn't do anything.

Histories entwined. Pasts united.

like that.

Huiling realised that Lay wasn't sentimental over things like that. He wasn't going to sentimental over a girl who couldn't even stand up for herself. He wasn't going to be sentimental towards Huiling but rather to you- the girl who could evidently take care of herself to a further extent than she could. To Huiling, she was like the weak side cast member of a movie. Something like a Cho Chang to Ginny Weasley. Something that could have happened but never will. And Huiling hated that. She hated that the guy she liked so much was chasing after someone else. 

Slowly, she dragged herself to the sports centre, keeping a close eye out for professors that might find her suspicious as she wasn't part of the university as a student. From the glass, she saw you and Jaemin in the office in a world of your own, talking seriously together. She wiped away her tears and crept into the pool, sliding around in the shadows. She headed towards the deep diving pool at the end furthest away from the office and though shaking, she unhooked the chain to the steps up to the diving boards and began to climb up. 

She reached the top and took a deep breath, still shaking violently with nerves and tears. She held her breath for fear that someone would hear her sobbing and choking and she took her shoes and socks off, placing them at her side. Then she walked to the edge where her toes curled around to grip the floor of the board. She sighed and looked up for one last time then jumped. 

Huiling was a frightened girl naturally. She had been scared of everything when she was younger- dogs, cats, aunts, graveyards, the dark, ghosts, fire and water. She was someone with a fear of water that had never been conquered and someone who is still afraid of water does not know how to swim.

 

It took about 30 seconds to register what was going on. First you saw what you thought was a ghost, a vision in white, falling from the sky or from the ceiling of the pool. Then you heard a splash and more water thrashing about and Jaemin looked at you and you looked at him and together simulatenously, you both stood up and ran. Jaemin hit the emergency button by the door and you ran to turn on the lights, much faster than Jaemin who was in flip flop attire. Peeling your hoodie off, you dived into the diving pool and opened your eyes underwater, looking for any sign of a person. 

Near the bottom, slowly sinking, you saw what seemed to be clothes and a mass of long black hair and you pushed yourself to dive deeper, crying out in pain as the water began to press against your head and you felt like your ears were going to pop. You came back up to the surface to gulp down some air before hauling yourself back down into the darkness of the pool. At the bottom, your arms found their way under Huiling's armpits and you kicked with all your might to try and get back out alive. The air was leaving you. Your energy was going. Everything was blacking out.

Then you heard a splash and a strong pair of arms began to tug both you and Huiling out of the water. Once you reached the surface again, the arms left you and you watched as Jaemin managed to lift Huiling's body out of the water. He started to perform CPR desperately and after a few chest pumps, she was coughing and spluttering. With her hair out of her face, you stared at her as you clambered out of the pool, desperate for some oxygen. Luhan had run in along with some people from the ambulance and they gave you an oxygen mask to wear as you lay down on the poolside floor. 

'Han? Haneul-ah, come on. It's okay, just keep breathing. You did amazingly,' Luhan said, as he knelt down beside you, holding your hand. 'That's it, girl. Just breathe, okay. You saved Huiling, you amazing person.'

You sat up, a little to abruptly and Luhan caught your back before you could tumble to the floor again. Ripping the mask away, you stared at him.

'Huiling?'

He nodded. 'Huiling jumped in. Suho's over there talking to her now. I didn't call anyone else, just him.'

And as if on cue, Suho suddenly appeared before you, wrapping you in a white fluffy towel and a giant hug from him.

'Haneul, you brave girl. You saved Huiling.'

'It wasn't me. It was Jaemin.'

'You did your part.'

'Why did she try and kill herself? Why did she jump?'

You looked over and saw Huiling in tears, Jaemin at her side holding her hand.

'Lay rejected her last night. I think she's taking it kind of hard.'

Luhan looked at you warily as you stood up. 

'She tried to kill herself because Lay doesn't like her the same way she likes him? That's stupid!'

'Haneul, don't go over there.' Luhan said, 'please, I don't think it's a good idea.'

But you were gone already. Jaemin had a look of surprise on his face and he looked over and Suho and Luhan worriedly. The two boys looked at each other worriedly also. And then they heard it. 

A harsh slap and a blood-curdling cry. 

Followed by the sound of sobbing.

And then the sounds of two people sobbing together.

And then the image of you on your knees.

'Please,' you begged, 'never think it's worth killing yourself because of some guy.'

Huiling looked at you hazily through her wet eyes and when she opened to speak, only Chinese came out. Soft, quiet, hushed Chinese. Chinese from the heart.

'Haneul, I'm so sorry. For everything.'

 

 

 

---

Is it #Growl11thWin now?... Oops.

I forgot to mention that I was also going on holiday to Barcelona but fear not, I am back now and I start school tomorrow so there will be no more periods of me being M.I.A. Hopefully. Haha, no seriously. I've been writing a few chapters and I did tell you guys this would be a biggie. We're hitting breaking point! The final confession is approaching! This is getting exciting! The end is nigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!