"Chanyeol," you said firmly, "look at me."

Chanyeol's eyes flickered. He was cornered.

"There's something I need to tell you. And you need to listen to me."

He shook his head. He didn't want to hear. He didn't want to listen. He didn't want to think and didn't want to breathe. He knew what was coming.

"Because I don't think I'll be able to repeat myself once I've said it."

Don't... Don't do it, princess... Please...

"Chanyeol, I have to tell you this. I can't..." You paused, "I can't accept you. I can't accept your confession."

He stared at you, his brain trying to process. He had always played this moment in his head but now that it was happening in real life, he wasn't sure how to react. He'd always simply cast aside the bad alternative with the happier ending- the one where you end up in his arms, kissing him as he wraps his long limbs around you and vows never to let go.

But since that was what his brain had prepared, that's what he did. 

His body slammed into yours and you shuddered. This was all too familar. His confession and the kiss that had followed had been needy. And now this bone crushing hug was nothing but. 

"Please." He whispered, "tell me you're not thinking right now. Tell me you're lying to me. Tell me..."

Chanyeol's voice trailed off. Silly and overprotective Chanyeol was crying- Chanyeol, the one with the temper of a raging storm but a heart of pure gold. The handsome boy in front of you cried- hard, fat, ugly tears sprouting from his eyes. 

After everything he had done, it hadn't been enough.

"Do you really mean it, princess?"

"Yeollie-" Your voice cracked, "Chanyeol, I'm so sorry."

You had been saying 'sorry' a lot recently and although you had meant it every time you said it, you couldn't help but try to emphasize how apologetic you felt.

"But princess..." Chanyeol choked back his words, "then who?..."

You took a deep breath. He wouldn't like to hear the next few words.

"Kyungsoo?"

You shook your head.

"Kai?..."

You bit you lip, shaking your head again. This time, Chanyeol's eyes widened and he brought a hand up to cover his mouth as he gaped in shock. Then he began to cry harder.

"Hyung?! Lay?! You... You really love Lay?!"

"Chanyeol, I-"

"You can't be... serious?" 

There was a silence as you looked stared at Chanyeol, waiting to see what would happen next.

"I didn't want to believe you really cared about him that much when you asked about him before," Chanyeol whispered, "about whether or not he meant what he said." He sighed, "but you weren't talking about him going to China, were you?"

You bowed your head in shame, feeling embarrassed for liking the one person who wasn't being nice. You liked the one person that was leaving you for another girl.

"You were talking about his confession..."

"Yeollie-" You stopped yourself. What could you say? Words of comfort? That he'd find someone else? That it wasn't meant to be, just as Kyungsoo had told you? Wouldn't that just smash his heart even more? "Do... you want to be alone?"

Chanyeol didn't move. Even when you touched his arm, he barely flinched.

"Princess, do you have your phone on you?"

This time it was you that flinched. Even now, you were still a princess in his eyes. Wasn't that wrong? Aren't princesses supposed to be perfect?

You nodded, "do you want it?"

"Can you call my sister?" He asked, "I... I think I want to stay at hers tonight."

You passed your phone over to him and he made the call, nodding on the phone and saying "yes" a lot. You felt awful but he handed your mobile back to you, smiling the best that he could. Chanyeol didn't want to make it hard on your part. It wasn't your fault that you didn't like him. It wasn't your fault that you liked Lay too. 

"Can you get the food yourself or do you still want me to come with you?"

"Do you really want to be around me right now?..." you mumbled quietly. Your own guilt was stabbing you in the chest.

"Ask for Jaehyun and tell him your name. Tell him you're Chanyeol's dorm-mate and he'll know who you are." Chanyeol said, "noona will be here soon so don't worry about me. Just get back safe, okay? Call my sister if something goes wrong. I'll come right away."

"I'll come right away." You decided not to overthink his final words. It would only make you feel even worse than you already did. 

"Go on, it's just up ahead," Chanyeol said, pointing to a small joint with a red neon sign outside it, "don't worry about me, okay?"

You nodded but couldn't bring yourself to give him a hug. The most normal of actions couldn't be done anymore. As you walked away, you wondered whether this was the end of your friendship and whether or not you had truly broken Park Chanyeol. 

Once Chanyeol had seen you walk into the restaurant to order dinner, he turned around to face the road and crouched down, hiding his head in his hands, and cried. Even after Jiyoung gently placed her hand on his shoulder and coaxed him into her car, he didn't stop crying.

 

***

 

Water was the best place to be. Water was, although sometimes an enemy, always a friend. Water was the one thing that you felt could make everything right. 

"I feel like utter crap."

Jaemin smirked, his new bright pink flip flops making him look like a class fool. "You look it too."

"Hey!"

"Your splits for that 100m freestyle was appalling. My sister can swim faster than that! Heck, my grandma can swim faster than that!"

"Your grandma can't swim," you retorted sourly.

"Exactly." Jaemin took off his board shorts and t-shirt, leaving him in just his swimwear, and sat down on the side. You swam over to his, holding onto the edge of the pool. "What did you do now?"

"Chanyeol didn't come home last night."

"So you've forced one of them out. One out of three, that's better than I thought."

"Are you even trying to make me feel better, oppa?"

Dinner had been more than awkward. When you walked in, plus food minus Chanyeol, eyebrows were certainly raised. Xiumin had given you a kind, understanding nod and you glared at him, almost blaming him for Chanyeol's leaving. Baekhyun immediately fled to his room, grabbing his mobile from the plug socket he had been using. Kris was less obvious, picking up his phone and speaking as he typed "where the are you? It's Kris".

As the night wore on, you could hear the faintest sobs from the balcony and fearing it to be Kyungsoo, you gently tapped your knuckles against the glass. But not to your surprise, it was Tao who held his phone in his hands as he flicked through photos that his mother had emailed him.

"Haneul, I really miss home."

"I know you do..."

"What are you going to do about Lay? I heard Kai saying it's him you like."

You smiled a little sadly, "does everyone know?"

Tao nodded, "is that why Chanyeol's not coming home?"

"He must be so disappointed in me. Maybe he hates me."

"I don't think hyung could hate you."

"What about Lay? Do you think Lay will really leave?"

Tao shrugged, "it depends. I think that you might be able to persuade him." He grinned to himself, "it'd be great if you got him to stay. I could take his ticket and go to China instead of him."

"Would that work? I didn't think tickets were transferrable."

"I called and they said it'd be annoying but it could be done."

"So you want to go to China with Huiling instead of Lay?"

"And I'll come back once I've seen my mom."

"How long have you been thinking about this for?"

"A while..." Tao replied back shyly, "since Lay told us he was going actually."

"But you didn't think to mention it to Lay? To ask him?"

"He's stubborn, Haneul. Even if I did ask him to swap, it's highly unlikely I'd get anything but a grunt in response."

"Well... That's not entirely true-"

"You still take his side even when he's throwing a load of bollocks at you," Tao said bluntly, "I really don't understand love."

"No, but-..." You stopped for a moment as Tao continued to stare at you, an eyebrow raised as if to mock anything that would come out of your mouth. Truthfully, you would probably have done so too. It seemed a little pathetic. You liked Lay so much but he was being a complete and utter . Just when you had realised your feelings for him, he'd gone and taken his back. All you could do was sigh, and somewhat laugh inside at the situation. Because what else was there to do? Get him back? Cry and throw yourself at him?

 

***

 

This was it. D-Day. And what were you doing? Spending the day trying not to think about Lay and him leaving. He had promised to come back soon anyway. You had resolved to simply not telling him and waiting for him to return. Maybe he'd miss you and come back sooner. Your own confession could always wait a few months, couldn't it?

But when you saw Huiling and Lay holding hands as they headed to the main office, you frowned. Obviously you couldn't. 

"Lay, what time is your flight tonight?" you asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. Your heart was pounding. Why was it now that you had to feel all the attraction towards him all at once? His hair looked perfect. His lips looked almost perfect. They would have been if he was smiling rather than frowning at you.

"11.40PM. We have to be at the airport a few hours before though."

"So when are we all getting down there for?"

"You're all coming?"

That hurt and if Lay hadn't meant it to hurt then he was truly nothing but a wet sponge with no consideration for others. Of course everyone would be coming. Of course everyone would be seeing him off. Was he really just playing an idiot to annoy you?

"Even Chanyeol?"

You nodded, "Yeollie will be there. He rang Suho last night to tell him he'll meet us there."

"Where's he been?"

Bang. One shot.

"He was at Jiyoung's."

"Oh. Why?"

Bang bang. Two shots.

"Because he didn't want to come back."

"Why not?"

Bang bang bang. Three shots and you're dead. 

"Because... Because I told him I wasn't going to accept his confession."

You peered at Lay's expression, hoping he'd show some sign of emotion. Be it a sigh, a look of amazement, a look of hopefulness- anything. But there was nothing.

God damn you, Lay. Thanks for having the same emotional capacity as a jar of air.

"Okay well I'd better get going. I've still got a few more things to pack."

"You're joking," you said, trying to lace your words with poison to sting him and his wretched heart a little, "you've been packing for ages."

"I might stay out there a little longer."

Bang bang bang bang. Three shots and you're dead. One more just to make sure.

 

***

 

You were walking along the street outside the highschool, looking in the little shops and boutiques for something small and cheap to buy. You wanted to get Jiyoung a present to say sorry for having to deal with the aftermath of your doings. Chanyeol was only acting the way he was and leaning on her shoulder because of you. According to Sehun, Chihiro had been feeding him reports of Chanyeol eating everything in the fridge and then complaining about why models only eat healthy food. He then proceeded to order fried chicken to his sister's apartment using her money and although she had slapped him over the head with a pillow for it, Chihiro said they were getting along perfectly fine as brother and sister.

"Unnie?..." You heard a cautious voice behind you, "is that you?"

You turned to find a school girl, hair tied back in a pony tail and rucksack packed. "Aki!"

"Haneul, it is you! You're so much thinner, what's wrong? Are you on a diet?" Aki giggled, "want to give me some tips?"

"You're in high school, missy!" you said, "you shouldn't think about dieting at your age. You're perfectly beautiful as it is."

"But your body's nicer than mine," Aki argued.

"That's because I have a devil for a swimming coach. He makes us work out like mad."

"Still. You're pretty and I'm not."

You smiled, winking at the younger girl. "Kai doesn't think so."

 

After buying a silver pendant on a necklace for Jiyoung to apologise for being a pain, you guided Aki through your university campus towards the cafe. 

"Am I allowed to be here? People are staring at me..." Aki said nervously, buttoning up her coat to hide her uniform.

"It's fine. You're with me and we're going to have a nice piece of cake and a warm drink before you meet Kai."

Aki blushed, "I didn't want him to see me in uniform."

"But he's seen you in uniform many times before."

"But I want him to see me differently now..."

"Oh, as a woman?" you teased.

"Unnie!" Aki sipped some of her hot chocolate and the atmosphere became a little more serious, "did he tell you what he proposed to me?"

You cocked your head to one side. "What did he propose?"

"He said that his heart's still filled with someone but that he'd try to replace her with me. He told me that he knew it was unfair to ask me to love him when he couldn't love me the same back but he asked if it would be alright to do that."

"And what did you say?" you asked quietly.

"I asked if he loved you." Aki smiled, "and he said yes."

"He told you that?" Your insides hurt a little.

Aki nodded, "so I said yes too. Because I knew he was being truthful with me... and that's the first step in any relationship, isn't it? You need the truth."

The truth. You need the truth. Suddenly telling Lay later didn't seem like the right thing to do. If he was ever going to know, he'd need to know now. Even if it was too late. You wanted to tell him. You didn't want to be cowardly anymore.

 

Eventually, Kai came to meet Aki. He apologised for only being able to be with her briefly but she nodded, understanding that he was leaving to see Lay off at the airport. It was a big thing for him, to have one of his closest friends go for an undetermined period of time and although in this day and age, where Skype and other forms of online chatting were possible, it just wasn't the same as having him around in the flesh. There'd be more space in the dorm and less washing up. There'd be one less to wait for in the shower queue and one less portion of food to make.

As you trudged back up to the dorm to nap and get ready for the emotional airport trip, Tao came thundering down the corridor. He had come from the dorm and was in his slippers, holding a piece of paper, and looked like he was about to burst into tears. His eyes were wide in horror and he was on the phone to someone as he ran up to you, waving the paper in your face. 

"Hyung! Hyung!" He said, holding his phone to his ear, "Haneul, he's gone!"

"What?" You asked, not really sure what he was talking about. The paper waving had been weird enough and you were feeling already far to emotionally drained from a mixture of Chanyeol-Aki-Kai-Jiyoung guilt rolled into one.

"Hyung left already! He left about..." Tao checked his watch, "half an hour ago!"

Your brain ground to a halt and switched to panic mode. "What?!"

You could hear the person down the phone also shouting in shock. It sounded like Sehun giving the slightly high pitched shriek and the burble of "oh my god, what are the hyung's going to say?!".

Tao nodded, "he just left a note and-"

You grabbed the note and skim-read it, your eyes moving faster than they ever had done. 

Hi all... sorry about this... I'll miss you... didn't want a big departure... back soon... sorry...

Nothing about you. Just rubbish about not wanting to be a pain and burden everyone. 

Well. You weren't having it. You dragged Tao back into the dorm and took off your long overcoat, wanting to find something a little less restrictive for running in. 

"Tao, get your bags ready and get to the airport with the others. I'll go ahead." Your eyes darkened and you spoke in a low, angry and hurt voice. "Someone's got to stop that idiot."

"Haneul?" Tao asked quietly, holding the phone away from his ear, "are you sure you want to chase him down? It doesn't seem like he wants to see us before he leaves."

"Do you not want to see him?!" you shouted, your emotions getting the best of you. You didn't want to take out your anger on Tao but right now, all you wanted was his co-operation and for Lay to stop doing whatever he was doing and come back to his senses.

"Well... Of course  I do" Tao stuttered, "But-"

You weren't listening. You rummaged through the dorm cupboard, picking up the nearest jacket and pocketing Kris' wallet. You figured he wouldn't kill you too much if you were using it in an important situation- and if Lay's departure didn't count as important to him then you didn't know what would. Slamming the door behind you and leaving a startled Tao frantically calling the older boys to tell them where you were going, your eyes narrowed in anger and determination.

"Zhang Yixing, you're in big trouble."

 

 

 

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Why is everybody leaving AFF ;___; it makes me really sad to see that so many great authors are leaving :(

I've just written what could possibly be the longest chapter I've ever written. Possibly. I'm not sure. But did you enjoy it? I'm still a little concerned that perhaps it moved a little too quickly but hopefully you guys don't think so ^^; MAN, writing that Chanyeol bit really broke my heart. Added onto the fact that Kyungsoo is in crutches at the moment (yet still looks so cute and squishy but thats not the point), I'm an emotional wreck. AIGOO

Well, it's 1AM but I hope you'll all comment your thoughts~ I really appreciate all the feedback and message you all send me. NEXT CHAPTER IS THE END! (minus the epilogue and the alternate ending... Hahaha, so really we have around 7-8 more chapters left?)