You sat at the bus stop swinging your legs off the bench. Lay was beside you, leaning against the large billboard with a G-Market advert pasted up on it.

'So... Where are we going?'

Lay kicked off the board and stood up straight, grinning. 'Where would you like to go?'

'Did you not think of somewhere to go before asking to spend the day with me?'

'I did,' Lay said, nodding his head, 'but I wanted to know if there was anywhere in particular you wanted to visit.'

You in your cheeks. 'I can't think of anywhere right now. But where did you have in mind?'

'The stationary store.'

'S-Stationary store?...'

Lay laughed, smiling a little too widely, 'what? Were you expecting something more exciting?'

You were blunt. 'Well, yes actually.'

'I can't keep asking to borrow pens off you in lectures though. Isn't it getting a bit annoying for you?'

'You asked me to come out with you so you could buy some pens?'

'I guess so.'

'Wow. Lay, I hope you don't ever try this on your future girlfriend. She'll never date you if you do this on a first date.'

Lay shrugged, 'it's the small things in life that are the best though. I'd be able to create some special memories just by being with my future girlfriend. You don't need to splurge and go to Lotte World or sit by the Han river all day just to enjoy each others company.'

'I suppose.'

'Chin up, Haneul, come on. Let's make the most of today, okay?'

'You make it sound like we're never going to go out stationary shopping together again.'

'After today, you won't want to.'

'What, you're that big of a pain in the ? Do you test out every single pen and compare ink levels to get the most of your money or something?'

'Well, I hate to admit it but... No, I'm only kidding, no one's that ,' Lay joked, 'hey, our bus is here.'

 

The fun began as soon as you were on the bus. It was rather busy as most buses tended to be and Lay stood beside you, holding onto the rail overhead. At one point, the bus did an emergency stop to save a small kid from getting run over and everyone standing fell forwards like a pack of dominos. A male university student fell onto a tight lipped business woman who fell onto a 40-something year old man carrying a parcel. He consequently fell on a highschooler who screamed and toppled onto you who, arms flailing around like a mad woman, fell into Lay who caught you and steadied you with a firm hold on your shoulder.

'Bus driver!' someone yelled out

'Sorry!' he yelled back

'Aish, I should have taken the car today,' someone muttered.

'My neck, aigoo...'

Checking you over and gently brushing your hair back in place and out of your eyes, Lay bent down to your eye level. 'Are you okay?'

You nodded, 'fine; you?'

'I'm alright too.'

A hand beside you shot up. It was the high schooler and she grinned. 'Me too, thanks for asking guys!'

General small talk was made to her on your part and you asked her all the general questions about how her studies were going. She seemed interested in your transfer but before you were pained with the question as to the reason for your move, Lay shoved you in the direction of the open doors.

'Woah!'

'Alighting here, Ms Shin!'

'Some prior warning before you manhandle me would be nice!'

Lay chuckled, 'come on, off we get!'

You recognised the bus stop as the area you had come to before with Lay- the time he had gotten really angry and an argument had followed.

'Dongdaemun? Really?'

'Yup'

'You're full of surprises today.'

'Sorry about last time, really. I feel really bad about the whole thing.'

'I shouldn't really have slapped you either, to be honest. I guess I forgot about all the times you've really helped me out.'

Lay shook his head, 'I really do feel bad though. How can I make it up to you?'

You thought about it for a moment as you crossed the road together, heading for the stationary store. Lay was quiet at your side, occasionally looking at you only to find you still busy thinking away.

'Make today a good day. That's what you can do.'

And that's what he did. On every level, Lay performed.

 

In the stationary store, he browsed quickly to deal with the mundane task as swiftly as possible. Even he was impressed with how fast he was in and out of the shop. As you passed a cute clothes boutique, he didn't groan or give you the look you would have expected from a guy. Instead, he took your hand and dragged you back in, knowing how much you wanted to look around.

'Hey, that's nice,' he said, pointing to the top you had in your hands, 'try it on.'

'Are you okay with waiting? I can always come back with Jinri...'

'No way!' Lay said, 'you're with me, come on. Try it on.'

Once you were out (having not bought the top because it hadn't fit right), you carried on making your way down the street. At any stores that you lingered outside for a little longer, Lay would take your hand and lead you in.

'You know, if you want to go in then you can. I'm not going to stop you.'

'But isn't it boring for you?'

'It's not so bad.'

'How about here?' You pointed to a big pink storefront and Lay's expression fell slightly when he read the sign.

'E-Etude House?...'

You grinned and nodded. 'You said you'd make it up to me, right?'

'Oh god, Haneul, what are you planning?'

With Lay inside the store, you held his wrist and pulled him around. At the eye make up section, you picked up a glittery eyeshadow and a pearlescent eyeliner.

'That's pretty,' Lay remarked.

'It is, isn't it?' A smirk crept onto your face as you held out the eyeshadow, pouting. 'Put it on then.'

'What?'

'Put it on!'

'You're kidding.'

You glared at him before starting to laugh, 'I'm not joking, Lay. Shut your eyes for me, come on.'

'No way.'

'Yes way.'

'No!-'

'Yes!'

'I won't forgive you if you don't do this.'

Lay looked around the store and sighed. Glancing around at everything, the main color palette consisted of pastel. He saw the posters of the endorsement models posing prettily in their 'natural' and 'glowy' make up. And then he sighed knowing he was tasting defeat.

'At least make me pretty then.'

 

3 minutes later, Lay was seated by the counter holding various brushes in his hands. A small crowd of around 7 or 8 girls had formed around you as you lapped up the interest.

'Okay, we need to put a bit of concealer under his eyes. Lay doesn't get much sleep so we want to conceal his dark circles.' Lay opened one eye to look but you slapped his arm. 'Yah, no peeking.' 

Picking up one of the sheerest BB creams, you started applying it to his face.

'Is this foundation?'

'BB cream.'

'Oh great. Same thing.'

'I picked one that won't look too cakey because I'm nice.'

'How wonderful, Haneul. Thanks for looking out for me.' Lay said sarcastically, his eyes still shut.

'I don't want you looking like a drag queen when I still have to go to the market with you once we're done.'

'Because your image is the one that's going to be tarnished, ah yes, I see.'

'Stop being sarcastic.'

'Yes maam.'

Using your ring finger, you began applying a beige cream to his eyelids. 'I'm putting on a bit of primer so that the eyeshadow will adhere better and stay for longer,' you announced to everyone.

'Oh god.'

'You shhh and be quiet, there's a good boy.'

After giving his eyelids what you would have called 'a sunset inspired gradation eyelid', you slicked on a line of brown eyeliner to keep the look 'autumn-y'.

'You look like a kpop star now!'

'Can you imagine Luhan looking like how I do now?'

You nodded and Lay laughed, his dimple becoming more prominent, 'yeah, so can I.'

When you picked up a small metal contraption and asked Lay to open his eyes, he did a double take and gawked at the torture device.

'What the heck do girls use that for?'

'Curling eyelashes.'

'Curling eyelashes?!'

'Come here, Lay.'

'No way.'

'Yah! Give me your face.'

'No!'

You grabbed Lay's chin and pulled him closer towards you. Leaning in until there were only centimetres separating your lips, you clipped at his eyelashes.

'Look straight,' you commanded.

'Straight at you?'

'Straight at me.'

As you slowly squeezed the curlers shut, taking care not too pinch at his eyes, soft squeals erupted from the girls watching. Your lips were so close to each others, so close to kissing- so close that a lean in and a single purse of lips from either side would have done the deed. You could feel Lay's steady breath lingering on your top lip and you exhaled as you released the curlers, letting out a breath you hadn't realised you had been holding.

One eye fluttered open and you shrieked causing everyone around you to start laughing. After quickly slapping Lay's arm with little to now force, he chuckled lightly to himself and shut his eyes again, this time leaning ever so slightly forward. You brought your face closer still and coos sprung out from around the room.

'Lay, your eyelashes on this eye are really hard to get...' you muttered under your breath, the hot air from your mouth tickling Lay's upper lip, 'I'm worried I'm going to nip your eyelid.'

'Want me to help?'

'You're asking to help me turn you into a girl?' 

'I can hardly have uneven eyelashes, can I?' 

'Of course not,'  you said, 'but we could always just put false eyelashes on you instead.' 

'I draw the line at false eyelashes, Haneul.' 

'Party pooper,' you said, adjusting your seating position, 'scooch closer so I can see your eyes properly then.' 

You your lips nervously as you rested the curlers gently against Lay's cheek. It was strange having your fingers brushing past his lips every time you opened and closed the curler. Lay's skin flared up bright red despite the cool sensation from the metal object and he could feel himself burning up from the touch. With your fingers still touching his lips and the eyelash curlers still crimping his eyelashes, he jerked away quickly and yelped in pain.

'Oh God I think I just plucked my eyelashes out!' 

He rubbed his eye frantically, tears forming in them and you lept forwards.

'Lay! You're ruining your eye make up!' 

'Haneul, it hurts! Oh my God, it's so painful!' 

'Why did you move then?!' 

'There's powder in my eye! I can feel it!' 

'You shouldn't have rubbed it then!' 

'Haneul!' Lay whined, 'Haneul, I don't like this. Can I take it off now?' 

'Beauty is pain.' 

'Where's the make up remover?' 

'It's here.' 

You picked up a few cotton pads and dispensed the remover onto them soaking them thoroughly before slapping one of each eye and holding them in place to dissolve the make up. After a good few seconds had passed, you gently swiped them away and disposed of them in the pot labelled 'used'. Picking up another, you began wiping over Lay's face, removing all traces of BB cream and concealer. His dark circles became more prominent, the tiredness in his eyes visible. You suddenly felt bad.

'Are you okay?' 

Lay looked at you oddly, wondering why your face had fallen. 'Why?' 

'Has something been troubling you...' you asked, hurling the dirty cotton pads away, 'more than usual?'

Standing up, Lay took a bow as the small crowd in the shop clapped for him. He then placed a hand on your shoulder and ushered you out as if he hadn't heard anything.

 

'Lay?'

You were in the market and the sun was beginning to set, the sky painted with a wash of orange and fushcia. Business was still in full swing- Dongdaemun Market being a night market predominantly- and you found you were heading for the area known for selling hanboks. 

'Lay?' 

He was doing it again. He was ignoring you. Even with his hand grasping yours tightly, even with your hand placed in his, he was ignoring you. He wasn't listening to anything you were saying. As his pace got faster, you had to semi-run to keep up with him. You tripped up over your feet and couldn't understand for the life of you what was making him act like this. When Lay eventually stopped outside a small shack, you snatched your hand back and glared at him, still trying to catch your breath. Lay himself puffed and panted as he bent over, his hands on his knees.

'Thank God...' he said, stretching his hand out to yours, 'it didn't shut.' 

You peered inside the shack and saw row after row of shelves ladened with jewellery. The incense from the shack was distinct but you couldn't put a finger on it's scent. Feeling a hand slip into yours, Lay led you in, bowing at the old lady who appeared from the back as the bell on the door jangled, signalling your arrival.

'I haven't seen you in a while...' she said, a smile creeping across her face, 'who's your friend?' 

'This is Haneul.' 

'Hello,' you said, bowing your head, 'nice to meet you.'

'I wanted to show this place to you,' Lay said, 'but I wasn't sure what time it'd close. It's one of the few places here that open and shut at normal, humane hours.' 

'How did you know about this place?'

You looked around and out of the dusty windows. The shack and everything inside looked like it had aged in comparison to outside. Whilst Seoul and the rest of the World had moved on and up in technology and bright lights, this peaky shop had remained ancient, suspended in time. The jewellery was antique- most crafted out of silver or bronze and occasionally gold. Rhinestones and other cheap imitation crystals used in modern jewellery pieces were nowhere to be seen. Instead, everything was made of either semi-precious stones or rocks such as jade and pearl.

'I met Yixing when we were both in hospital. It was a long time ago and when I came out of surgery, he was already out.'

You looked at Lay who was wistfully petting the lady's cat, it's back whilst smiling.

'I told him about my store and how worried I was about it but he told me not to stress. He was such a cute teenager- he's grown into a handsome man now.'

Lay looked up and beamed, picking up the cat and holding it in his arms.

'She still remembers you...' the lady said, 'Yixing came here when I was recovering. He cleaned the storefront outside whilst I was away. I was recovering in hospital for just about two weeks but he came here everyday to sweep outside.' The lady smiled as Lay walked around the tiny interior, looking at some of the necklaces and bracelets laid out. 'I came back when I was discharged and saw him.' She beckoned Lay over and gave him a one-armed hug. 'Do you remember what you said to me when I saw you, Yixing?'

'Don't work too hard.'

The old lady nodded, flicking his forehead with as much force as she could muster in her frail body. 'But you don't practice what you preach, do you? You disappeared and only after a while did you come back and visit me. Only after you had moved school because you had worked too hard to stay there. Only after you had gotten hurt by those horrible boys did you listen to your friends!'

Lay lowered his gaze and stared at the floor. 'She's talking about Kris and Luhan,' he said quietly.

'The tall, handsome boy and the smaller boy with the pretty eyes, yes. Haneul, do you know them?' 

You nodded happily, 'we're all living together. We're taking care of Lay.'

'That's good to hear.' The lady reached up and placed a palm on Lay's shoulder, 'but stop acting so rashly. I'm always worried about you.'

'I'm sorry I don't visit enough.'

'Just take good care of yourself.' She turned to you and held out her hand, taking yours and shaking it. 'Pick something and take it.'

'Oh no, I couldn't-'

'Yixing can't wear jewellery and you're the first girl he's brought here. So please, take something you like. It's a present. I don't have much business so maybe your friends will want to come by when they see what you're wearing.'

You looked at Lay who nodded as if it had been the sole reason for taking you into the strange shop in the first place. As you made your way through the narrow aisles, glancing here and there to see if anything immediately stood out to you, the lady turned to Lay.

'It's the last time you'll be here, isn't it?' she said, catching him off guard, 'you're doing it again, aren't you? Running away.'

'I'm not running away,' Lay said adamantly, trying to convince himself at the same time. 'I'm not running away. I'm just... I'm just-'

Shaking her head, she gave Lay another hug. 'Thank you for looking after me for all these years.'

 

As you started to make your way back home through the bustling market, you tugged on Lay's hand, your new silver bangle sliding up and down your wrist. 'Is this where you used to come? Last year, whenever you used to disappear and we could never find you around school, were you here?'

Lay nodded, 'Kris and Luhan could never remember the way to that place so I knew I would be alone for just a few hours at least.'

'So why did you decide to take me there?'

'Today was about making it up to you. I wanted you to know about where it was I went whenever I left.'

'But you weren't there last night, were you? She said she hadn't seen you in a while.'

'I went to the park last night.'

You had been walking side by side but at this, you pulled on his hand and turned him around to face you. Enough was enough. You were sure something was up.

'Tell me what's going on. Tell me why you're not sleeping and why you're disappearing again.'

Lay faked a smile, beaming at you, 'Haneul, I'm fine-'

'Is it Huiling? Is it because she's leaving?'

Lay's smile disappeared and he gulped, 'I... suppose.'

'I know you'll miss her but it's not like we won't see her again. We could always go to China and if she ever comes back here, she could stay with us, couldn't she?' He nodded and you chuckled, trying to brighten his mood. 'She should have made the promise we made each other with you too.'

'Promise?' 

'We promised we'd never leave each other, didn't we? If I'm in Korea, you're in Korea. We said that 'if I promise never to leave you, you promise never to leave me'. Remember?'

'Oh... Yeah, I remember.'

'And you also asked me if I'd ever leave you and I said I wouldn't. So if I'm not leaving then you're not either. Huiling should have made a pact like this with you. Then you wouldn't have to see her go. Our promise still stands, doesn't it?'

Lay stared at you until he felt his brain tell his head to move. He nodded, slowly, but he still nodded out of fear. He didn't want to let you down, not after he had spent the day making everything up to you. People rushed past you both as you stood still in the centre of the pedestrianised road. 

Despite the vibrant and lively atmosphere surrounding him, Lay felt more confined than ever. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and that his insides were nothing more than mere pits- no heart and no soul.

Perhaps this was what guilt felt like.

 

 

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HELLO EVERYONE. 

short author note for a long chapter yEAH!