"Thought you might be here" said a familiar voice as you were greeted to a wave of manicured hands you knew too well.

"Jinri!" "I'm going to kill oppa for letting you come here alone."

"Did you get back okay last night?"

Jinri nodded, "Taejoon took me back because oppa was waiting around at your dorm."

"And he didn't even get to see me."

"I think he was more there to see Jiyoung-ssi. He wouldn't stop asking about her and how I'd never mentioned Chanyeol had a, I quote, 'super pretty and super nice' sister."

"Wow. Someone sounds smitten."

Jinri rolled her eyes, "he barely even spoke to her the whole of last night!"

"Probably scared? Unnie's a model after all. I'd be scared if I was Jaemin-oppa."

"That's cute. But at least he might finally get over that girl he likes so much. Do you know... In fact, maybe I shouldn't say..."

You crossed your arms, "Jinri, you can't start and not finish. What is it?"

"Oh all right," Jinri said, looking around to make sure no one was nearby, "the girl's boyfriend came over the other day."

"Oh my God, what happened?!"

"Oppa wasn't in trouble, don't worry." Jinri said, "he just came to tell him that they were going to move abroad together."

"Ouch."

"And that oppa should get over her now."

"Double ouch."

Jinri shrugged, "I think Jaemin saw it coming."

"Did he cry?"

"Yeah," Jinri nodded, "but isn't that life? You're going to have to deal with rejection and heartbreak more than once, aren't you?"

"But still..." You shuddered at the thought of Jaemin crying, having to deal with an ongoing rejection as his love loved another right in front of him. "It's horrible."

"I know... But you still have to do it," Jinri slipped in, "okay?

"Do what?" you asked, trying to play a fool.

Jinri crossed her arms, "don't tell me you haven't thought about it yet! Haneul, you have to choose soon-"

"God, you're worse than Kris."

"It's really selfish what you're doing. You can't keep leaving those guys hanging."

"I know. I know."

"Then?"

"Jinri, I just don't want to hurt any of them."

"You're going to have to."

"But-"

"Please tell me you have some sort of idea about what you're going to do."

"Well..." You looked at your best friend's pleading eyes, "yeah. Yeah, I do."

Jinri's face lit up, "seriously?! You genuinely do?!"

You smiled, happy to finally have something resembling a clear mind. With Jinri as excited as a bunny rabbit high on sugar, you knew you had said the right thing too. And although a part of you wondered how you had managed to make up your mind so quickly, you realised the answer had simply been in front of you the entire time. You had just been scared of becoming the baddie in the story, rejecting the boys that you loved unconditionally anyway. You knew that telling the others would be hard but at the end of the day, it was inevitable that someone would get hurt. You could only hope it wouldn't be too much.

 

***

 

"Did you enjoy your food this morning?"

"I did, thank you."

You were hanging up your wet costume and towel in the tiny utility room when Kai had knocked on the door, squeezing in with you and shutting the door behind him. He stood with his back leaning against the wall, just watching you as you began putting the dry laundry into the basket above the washing machine.

"Isn't that Baekhyun's job?"

"He deserves a break once in a while."

"You'd better watch out though. The others might start acting up if you help Baekhyun too often- Chanyeol especially."

You smirked, "are you sure you aren't just jealous that I'm looking out for Baekhyun?"

Kai grinned, smiling to himself as he looked down bashfully. "How did you guess?"

Laughing together, you dumped your bag by the side and picked up the plastic boxes Tao had filled with food for you earlier that day. You were going to put them back in the kitchen and wash them up to help Kyungsoo too. As you were in a rather good and cheery mood, you felt like being a martyr for the rest of the night.

"Wait-" Kai said, grabbing your arm before you could open the door. He held you in a tight back hug and you felt your cheeks turning red. You stood still, unsure of what to do. You didn't want to turn around, not when you still hadn't clarified with everyone who it was you liked and you found yourself breathing heavily. Eventually Kai let you go and you turned your head to face him, your hand on the door handle just in case you'd have to make a quick getaway. 

"I'm glad to see you like this, Haneul," Kai said, "you're the prettiest when you're smiling."

"Thank you..." you mumbled, silently turning the handle, "sorry if I scared you last night."

"I thought I'd lost you," Kai said truthfully, "Haneul, can I ask you a question?"

"It depends what it is..."

Screw being a martyr.

"Have you thought about it? About us?"

"Us?"

"The hyungs and I."

You froze and dropped the plastic boxes which fell to the ground with a loud clatter. You stared at them, not expecting to have such a dramatic reaction. Hurriedly rushing to pick them up, you didn't turn to face Kai when you asked him your own question.

"Have you thought about Aki's confession?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I saw..."

"You saw?"

"I didn't hear anything though."

"I told her I'd think about it."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"No, nothing."

You tucked a box under your arm and opened the door, running out and slamming the door shut behind you. It was lucky Kai hadn't been chasing after you or else he would have had a slab of wood to answer to. 

"Haneul! Hey!"

 

The loud noise sent Kris into a near cardiac arrest and he flew out of his room, crashing into you. Plastic boxes went flying and Kai came out of the utility room, feeling slightly flustered.

"Haneul-"

"I'm just going to go to wash these up, oppa! Will you help me?"

"Who, me?" Kris asked, pointing to himself in surprise. Kris was never one for washing up and everyone knew he'd straight out refuse anyway.

"No, of course not you. Kyungsoo-oppa."

Kyungsoo's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he stood up anyway, slipping on his slippers and padding into the kitchen, taking out the plastic box from under your arm and beckoning you towards the sink. You skipped over towards him leaving both Kris and Kai standing still, taken aback by your sudden burst of upfrontness.

"Those two are going to catch flies if they keep their mouths open any longer," Kyungsoo chuckled, peering around the corner at Kris and Kai when you came to stand beside him, "and what did you do to Kai? He looks slightly aghast, he does."

"Nothing really. I just asked him about Aki's confession."

Kyungsoo's expression changed. "What about it?" He wasn't happy that you still remembered it and although he wasn't sure about it, he didn't want you to particularly care about the other girls vying for Kai. He already had to remember your slight frown back at the party when you had been semi-spying on them. 

"Nothing. I just asked him if he had considered it."

"And what did he say?"

Kai hadn't mentioned anything to Kyungsoo and whilst he had simply assumed it was because other matters were far more important the night of the party, the duo weren't roommates for no good reason. They understood each other, sometimes far too well, and it hurt Kyungsoo slightly to think that Kai was hiding something away from him because he was taking part in a competition against him for you. It wasn't your fault, not at all. He just felt sad that things had gotten like this since they decided they'd both be competeting fairly. If sad was even the right word for it. Kyungsoo didn't know. 

"That he'd think about it."

You picked up the washing up sponge that Kyungsoo had finished using and began scrubbing at the clear plastic before setting it aside and rinsing the box under the running water.

"Anything else?"

You turned off the tap and grinned, wiping your hands dry on your knees, much to Kyungsoo's disapproving frown and chucking of a tea towel.

"Nope. Nothing else."

 

***

 

"So this is what you've become? Too scared to leave our room?"

"She doesn't want to look at me."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because why would she? She hates me."

Lay was sat in front of his open wardrobe, pulling out his clothes and neatly folding them, placing them aside to be packed. The smaller, miscelleanous belongings of his were already in cardboard boxes and although Kris had asked him to stop and think about if he still wanted to leave, Lay was adamant. Deep down, he knew he was only trying to pack up as fast as he could to leave himself no reason but to leave. And even that didn't feel quite right.

"Even if she hates you, that doesn't mean you have to live in solitary confinement until you piss off back to China," Kris snapped, "but hey, it's you. God knows what on earth goes through your head sometimes."

Kris got up off his bed to return to the table where dinner had started being served. It was late but Kyungsoo had wanted to wait and so delayed the cooking process until you arrived home. With you feeling more and more guilty with every passing minute you saw Sehun wail and hold his grumbling stomach, you eventually dashed into the kitchen to try and make yourself more useful by becoming Kyungsoo's personal assistant for the evening.

"At least I saved her."

Rolling his eyes, Kris turned back to Lay. He knew he was being harsh and he knew he was being unfair but right now, he also knew that one of his best friends, someone closer to him than a brother, was being a royal idiot.

"Congratulations, Yixing. If I may be so bold to burst your bubble, Ahn Taejoon also rescued Jinri so don't try and convince-"

"Hyung?"

It was Chanyeol at the door and he had his arm around you. Having grown tired of waiting for the two Chinese boys to join the meal, you had coaxed Chanyeol into coming with you to check on them. Knowing that you didn't want to see Lay on your own, or at least not for now, Chanyeol had agreed. It also meant that he was going to lose his comfortable seat and be left with a rickety stool but he didn't mind too much, not if he was going to be able to spend a few minutes with his hand on your shoulder, acting like the protective boyfriend whilst his girlfriend faced her fears.

It was a bad moment to walk in, truly it was. If you could think of a situation more awkward than the one you were in then you probably would have been in something of a nightmare. To walk in on Kris and Lay both arguing about none other than yourself was enough. But to have Chanyeol with you too, gripping your shoulder at the mention of your name?

"Oh... Chanyeol?" Kris said, peering at him and ignoring you. "What's up?"

"Dinner... Did you not hear us call you?" Chanyeol replied quietly, his fingertips starting to dig into your skin.

"Must not have," Lay muttered, "considering he was throwing verbal abuse at-"

"Lay, Kris, can you both just come out now? Sehun's about to throw a tantrum because Xiumin-oppa says we can't start without you."

Kris sighed, "When is that kid not thowing a tantrum?" and Lay smirked, standing up from his cosy spot by his wardrobe.

"When are you not throwing a tantrum?" 

Chanyeol could feel the tenseness between the two and you winced as his grip became even firmer. Realizing he was now hurting you, he quickly took his hand off your shoulder and turned you to face him.

"Oh God, Haneul. Sorry. Are you okay?" he fretted, "I didn't realise-"

"I'm fine. Come on, Yeollie. Let's leave them two."

"I'm really really sorry. I just didn't think-"

"Hey, lovebirds," Lay called, spitefully, "can you resume your lover's conversation outside?"

Kris stared at Lay, open mouthed. You and Chanyeol also looked at Lay in utter shock. He wasn't one for being sarcastic let alone rude but it was almost as if Kris had brought out an alter ego in him- an anti-Lay, foul mouthed and smirking. You blinked, surprised by his force and Chanyeol snapped out of his trance, shuffling out of the room faster than thought humanly possible, dragging you along with him.

 

"What's gotten into him?..." you said quietly as you sat back down at the table. Chanyeol pulled up the stool beside you and squeezed himself in, wanting to spend more time with you even more so now that Lay had turned a new leaf.

"Maybe you should stay away from him?" Chanyeol suggested, whispering so the others wouldn't hear not that they would anyway. The entire table was in chaos. Sehun was clambering over everyone and everything, trying to grab as much banchan as he could to shovel down his throat. Luhan was busy spanking his arse in an attempt to make him sit and Suho sat at the table, his hands folded in his lap as he watched the disarray unfold, silently praying for Kris to come out sooner or later. Kyungsoo and Kai sat opposite each other and despite Chen's attempts to make the younger laugh, it seemed like the two of them would only be putting out a cold front for the timebeing.

"I don't know about that... It seems like something might be on his mind." 

Tao was sitting at the edge of the table with Baekhyun beside him, the two of them having bagged the best seats. Next to them was Huiling, timidly tucking into whatever food she had managed to pick up before Hurricane Sehun came storming through, wreaking havoc at the dinner table. 

"Well he is moving to China, isn't he? That's enough for one person's mind."

You paused for a moment, "Chanyeol?"

"Yes, princess?"

Shaking your head, you decided it best not to say anything. "No, nothing. Sorry."

"Haneul, what is it?"

"Nothing!" you pressed, popping a lump of rice in your mouth and pretending to chew it religiously.

"Princess..." Chanyeol growled, his voice low, "tell me what's the matter. What's on your mind? Is it Lay?"

You put your chopsticks down with a loud bang. Spot on, Yeollie. God damn it. Luckily, the rowdiness in the room was near full volume and no one else had noticed your sharp reaction- only Chanyeol. Putting his own chopsticks down in a more civilised manner, he tilted his head, facing you, ready to hear what you were about to say.

"Do you think he meant it?"

"Meant what?"

"Meant what he said."

"About?"

"About..." You took a deep breath. Exactly. Did he mean what he said about China? Did he mean what he said about liking you? Did he mean any of it? "About... China."

"Almost definitely," Chanyeol said, not really buying your false question but going along with it anyway, "didn't you see him packing?"

"I- I suppose."

"And that's why Kris has been pissed off so much lately."

So it's not because he's confessed when he's leaving the country in a week?

All these words you wanted to say only you couldn't because you were with Chanyeol. It wouldn't be fair to talk about another person's confession in front of him- to both of them. Even though you desperately wanted to know these things, you understood that it was simply not the right time to ask. Even with Chanyeol who you felt would protect you to the end of the world and back, it just wasn't right to discuss other love interests with him. No boyfriend and girlfriend would ever really speak about their exes, for example. It was an unspoken rule.

"Sorry about this, Yeollie. I shouldn't really be talking about Lay when he was rude to us both just a few minutes ago. He doesn't even deserve to be thought about right now."

"It's okay. If it's bothering you then I'm just glad that you can talk to me about it." Chanyeol grinned, "anything for the beautiful Princess Hana Banana."

"You're so lame."

"But don't you love it?"

You smiled, picking up your chopsticks and swatting his nose with them. He laughed and carried on eating, glancing at you now and then. He knew you had been lying out of your about Lay and China but knowing that you had done it to spare him some humility, he couldn't help but smile. 

 

 

 

---

Ok the only excuse I can think of for why this chapter has taken so long is that I went through a good few days completely doubting myself and this story and all my plans for it. I'm not kidding. My brain just went whoooosh and I was frantically replanning the entire ending and then eventually with the help of my twitter friendlings I managed to pull myself together (just. I'm still having second thoughts but now it's kind of too late so ugh gonna have to deal with it now). 

I just had to come to terms with the fact that some of you guys will no doubt be disappointed with this ending (especially as it's an official one). Fear not however, there's still an alternative one being put up here but like omg I'm so stressig (yay for another German word) because all your comments say different things and I can't please you all sob sob. Also I now cba to think up chapter names because mine are always rubbish so yay!

And now I'm rambling AGAIN and like lol.... I should stop this because everytime I don't update for a long time, the author notes always turn into a big ramble ramble fest because I'm so excited to talk to you all again but it's like my own fault that I don't talk to you enough because well...I'm the one that doesn't update on da regz (regular). (Seriously someone stop me from doing this ramble business, it's so embarassing to re-read the next day when I'm back to normal and not all crazy hyped over getting to write my weekly author note)

final/another announcement though: shameless promoting gomenasai and I don't really have any right to do this especially after making you guys all wait so long for this update but I made a trailer for my story 'Just Breathe' yesterday. Please watch and subscribe if you'd like :)  It'd really mean a lot if you checked the story out ^^ 

 

p.s how the hell did I write an entire author note about author notes and feeling bad?

JUST BREATHE