You woke up late to find that there was no one in the dorm. On your desk lay the keys in the exact position you had placed them before along with a little stand up card. You grabbed the keys and shoved them in your pocket before picking up the card to read. 

Made you breakfast! It's in the flask! Eat up and don't let me worry about you, okay? - your favorite oppa (Kai- in case you've woken up with amnesia and forgotten.)

Flask? You rubbed your eyes wearily, looking around your room. There wasn't a flask as far as you could see. Through the card you could see faint writing from an ink pen that had bled through the paper and you opened it up.

Just kidding. Of course I'm going to be worried, even if you do eat breakfast... You almost died last night! How could I not be worried?! Pabo-yah! 

You stifled a laugh which came out like a snort and shoved the little card beween some books on your desk. Amnesia my . I still remember you, fool. Heading out to the main living area, you spotted the flask standing alone but proudly on the dinner table. With it was a pair of chopsticks laid on a napkin, neatly set out for you. You spotted your gym bag on one of the seats and opened it to find it had been packed. Everything was there: costume, towel, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, hat, goggles- everything. In a small plastic tupperware box, someone had put in a cereal bar and some fruit. Your drinks bottle had also been made and was placed on the table in front of the chair. You grinned knowing exactly who had done it- Tao. 

Tao was always and forever packing his gym bag. He wasn't usually that much of a neat-freak but when it came to his sports bags, everything had to be methodically placed. Food had to be presented neatly in a clear plastic box and everything had to look pretty. Seeing your bag so wonderfully set out could only mean that Tao had packed it and Baekhyun had almost definitely given him your towel and swimming costume from the little utilities cupboard. Taking the pool keys out of your pocket, you placed them in the front compartment of your bag and began to dig into breakfast.

 

***

 

It was starting to get dark when you decided to head to the pool. You liked swimming when it was black outside. There was something just a little more calming than having the natural sunlight streaming in.

You jumped into the pool and felt first the water distinguishing the flames in your head, and second your thoughts slowly calming and becoming still. As you pushed off the wall, not caring about underwater kicks nor tucking into a streamlined position, you felt infinite- a feeling you had almost forgotten. The last time you felt infinite was when your brother took you to a bakery and he bought you a giant red velvet cupcake to have all to yourself. Then you drove back home, windows down, hair flowing, music blaring, high-pitched singing and all. But this kind of infinite felt different; almost as if the infinity wasn't going to last and you knew that. You began thinking too much, thinking too fast, panicking as you swam and your began to get erratic. Turning at the end, you missed the wall on the push off and it took you double time to resurface.

Coming up to breathe, you to your back and began leisurely swimming backstroke, watching as your hand turned as it was above your head, pinky finger entering the water first. As you began to calm down again, your focus slowly gravitated towards the wooden beams on the ceiling and you found yourself lost in your thoughts. The flags came into view and you counted to the end.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Pull and... flip.

You pushed hard off the wall- kicking past 10 metres underwater. It was a natural response now for your body and something that Jaemin had been coaching everyone into making a habit. You could feel the water at your skin and with every pull, you started to slip. You were right- you were losing that feeling of infinity. Fast.

At what was now the final length of a 400 metre backstroke, you pulled into the wall gracefully, seemingly out of breath. When you thought about it more, you realised it wasn't your lungs causing the problem. A quick puff from your inhaler could have solved that. By isolating your organs slowly and meticulously, you found that the hurt and ache was coming from your heart and that pain wasn't going to be as easy to remedy. Tearing off your swimming cap and letting your hair soak into the chlorinated water, you sunk down to the bottom of the pool, simply allowing yourself to be gobbled up and taken in.

And after that, you were left to just your thoughts. The pool lights were on minimal, the sound of water trickling into the drain the only thing keeping you company. That thought alone scared you and you propped yourself up on the poolside ledge and began to cry feeling more and more pathetic as fatter and heavier tears fell. You didn't want to think about the people in the world that had it worse than you. You didn't want to think about the amount of people dying in political wars. You just drowned yourself in your own sorrows.

 

First, you cried for your parents and asked why they couldn't still be around to tell you how to make the right decision. You cried for your brother and for not giving him goodbye kisses despite loving and missing him so much when he went off to university. Then you cried for the rest of your family because you felt bad crying only for your immediate members when everyone had suffered the same fate. Crying for Hyun Ki turned into full on wailing and slapping your hands down on the water in anguish. When family was called forward to identify the body and a friend came to do the job instead, it was assumed that all family members were dead. And for the most part, it was true.

Only friends attended the funeral which had been organised by an old room mate of his and it had made you feel sick knowing you weren't allowed to show your face for fear that the same would happen to you. And then you thought about the box of photographs he had given to you- your life in photos and letters sent from your dear brother- and how he had given them to you when he knew he was going to die and that he was only giving them to you because if they had found it, they would have known about you too. And when you eventually remembered how unfriendly you had been to Hyun Ki at first, you cried the hardest you had so far.

You floated down to the other side of the pool wanting to get rid of the saltiness that was building up in the water around you. The chlorine started to irritate your face, having mixed with the sensitive skin where your tears had fallen and it itched a little so you hauled yourself out, grabbed a kickboard and sat on it- face, neck and shoulders out of the water. It didn't take too long to be carried down by the gentle ripples in the pool towards the middle and once there, you held the float on your front, clutching it to your chest. You wanted to know what your heart wanted. You wanted to imagine giving yourself to someone again. You wanted to know to know what to do but you didn't want to think about it.

"Eomma..." you said to yourself, "because you were really beautiful when you were younger, did you ever get a lot of people confess to you all at once?" You repositioned yourself on the float. "Because if you did, how did you manage to choose? Did you like them all? Did you have to weigh up everyone? Or did the answer just come to you? Was one of them dad?"

You waited for an answer but it never came. Of course. Saying that however, a voice in your head kept telling you exactly what you knew- just to think- but whether or not that was your mother talking to you, you didn't know. You hoped it was though.

She'd be telling you how silly you were being and that either way, people would get hurt.

She'd be telling you to love whoever your heart yearns for.

And then she'd put her hand on your head and ask, "do you want to know where your heart lies, Haneul?"

And when you'd nod in response, she'd lightly tap your head and say, "look where your mind wanders."

So you did just that- you allowed your mind to wander.

 

The weird fantasies that occurred were book plot worthy but letting your mind wander meant letting your imagination free. The first daydream had you smiling in the pool as you rested your head on the tiles feeling the water sweep past your cheeks.

You were with a younger cousin of yours on this particular day out. Where you had found this younger cousin, you had no idea because A) all your family were gone and B) you had been the youngest out of all the cousins anyway. But for this daydream of yours, you had a baby cousin named Hyukjae. He was four and always introduced himself as "Hyukjae but friends call me JJ." Today was a special day for him as you along with your boyfriend were treating him out to a birthday trip to the aquarium.

"Hyung! Hyung! Put me on your shoulders so I can talk to the squid!"

Kyungsoo laughed as he lifted Hyukjae by the arms, letting him hold onto his hair. With him holding onto Hyukjae's legs with both hands, you rested your hand on Kyungsoo's upper arm. Coos erupted from mothers and grandmothers as they watched this seeming young couple take their 'son' out to see Nemo from 'Finding Nemo' and the clownfish. Hyukjae simply laughed at the idea.

"Noona, they think you're my mom! And they think that hyung is my dad!"

You smiled. "And what do you think of that?"

"I think noona and hyung should get their own child because you can't share me with mommy and daddy."

You nodded and pointed to a starfish which was just chilling out on a rock, cool and relaxed. "Look at that!"

"It's you, Haneul," Kyungsoo said teasingly, "hard, spiky and prickly."

You turned around and lightly pretended to punch him on the nose. "Watch yourself, Mister or I'll have to punish you later."

He leant forwards and whispered into your ear quietly, "I'll look forward to it" earning himself a nice slap on the back.

Once he had recovered, he turned to you. "Can you swim faster than them?" he said, cocking his head over at a school of fish. Hyukjae also looked at you, anticipating your answer.

"Kyungsoo-yah, you're giving him false impressions!" you snapped, hissing under your breath until you noticed Hyukjae's curious eyes, willing you to say the right thing. "I mean... Of-Of course I can."

"That's so cool, noona! You must be faster than Usain Bolt!"

Kyungsoo grinned and you glared at him before winking at Hyukjae who in turn, tugged on your boyfriend's hair.

"Are you fiercer than those sharks, hyung?"

"Of course I am," he replied cooly.

You crossed your arms, smirking. "Prove it then."

So Hyukjae climbed down from Kyungsoo's shoulders and into your arms and you watched your boyfriend make a fool of himself, growling and baring his teeth at the sharks swimming past, not even caring about the strange boy trying to out-fierce them. With you keeling over in laughter, Kyungsoo took Hyukjae back and held him on his front.

"Am I that funny?"he asked you, grinning as Hyukjae settled into a slumber.

You nodded, "I love you."

And Kyungsoo kissed your forehead the best he could with Hyukjae around him. "I love you too."

As you retreated back home together having dropped Hyukjae back at your aunts in your daydream, you began to imagine the interior of your house. The house itself was something from a Korean drama- something you could never even think of being able to afford but it was alright because this was a fantasy and just a figment of your imagination. The house was open plan, think Hyun Bin's house in Secret Garden and there was a fireplace lit in the living room. On the mantle piece was a prom-like photo of you in your black dress with Kyungsoo beside you, looking gorgeous in his tuxedo suit. The photo on the right of that was of you and your family and the photo on the left of Kyungsoo's and his. There were a few snowglobes- most of them presents- and a glass bowl for keys to be stored in.

"Haneul-ah!"

"Yeah?"

"Didn't you say earlier you had to punish me?"

You turned around, curious to see what your boyfriend was doing, and laid eyes on your handsome boyfriend's bare torso-

 

And then you fell off your float- head, neck and shoulders plunging into the water as you flipped backwards, water splashing, legs kicking, arms flailing. 

 

It was summer- July to be precise and Kai had wanted to have you all to himself for a day. You lived on your own in a small condo and every morning, Kai would pick you up, waiting below your window performing a one-man show to walk with you to school. On this one particular Sunday however, slap bang in the middle of the school holidays, Kai rung on your doorbell early in the morning, waking you up. You trudged over to the front door, tripping up on the pile of shoes that lay in front of it, and opened it groggily, hair messy and face puffy. 

"Kai? What are you doing here? I thought you were going out with your parents today to the countryside or something? What happened?"

Kai laughed, pushing past you, taking his shoes off and placing them neatly in a corner. "They want you to come. You don't have anything planned today, do you?"

"No," you replied sarcastically, "because I fit my entire schedule around yours."

"Nice to know."

"I was joking."

"Oh."

You groaned, flopping down on the sofa and sliding off onto the ground. Kai chuckled, taking a seat and starting to run his fingers through your hair.

"What are you doing?"

"Your hair is a mess."

"Cheers. Way to make me feel fabulous in the morning."

"At least I didn't mention the drool around your mouth. Were you hungry last night or something?"

You shrieked and grabbed the nearest hand mirror to you. "Oh my God, how embarassing."

"It's just me."

"True."

"Come on, hurry up and get changed. My parents have been talking non-stop about you. They act like you're their long lost daughter sometimes, seriously."

"As if. Then I'd have to look like you then, wouldn't I?"

"That's cheap," Kai said, rolling his eyes, "besides, I'm much better looking than you anyway."

"Only in your dreams," you sang back as you slammed your bedroom door behind you to get dressed leaving Kai laughing on the sofa.

 

You sat in the back seat next to Kai as his parents' car made their way up a winding road into a forest. The wind circulated through the open windows as Kai's dad sang along to the old 80's tunes playing from the stereo. You looked up at the sunlight streaming through the leaves, the shade casting pretty shadows on the ground. The road began to get bumpier as you climbed higher. Twigs came flying through the window and Kai's mother quickly pulled them up. As the car turned, your stomach did the same. As the car jostled, Kai's insides did the same.

"Mom... I think I'm going to be sick."

"Just hang on a second, honey."

"Auntie... Really... Sick..."

"Oh, Haneul too?!" Kai's mom said, looking at you worriedly, "oh honey, should we stop here then?"

Kai raised an eyebrow at you and you shrugged, clutching at your stomach. He shook his head in disbelief and began to roll down his window again. His mom looked round, feeling a draft again and asked him what he was doing. 

"Until we get there. Please."

You began to roll down your own just as the car ran over a large stone sending you up and off your chair and the picnic basket that lay on your lap into the air. The wind caught hold of it and it flew out of the window, the red napkins flapping about like birds in the air. You stared at it in disbelief, watching Kai's mom's hard work splat on the floor behind the car.

"Auntie! Auntie! The food! Our dinner's gone!"

Kai turned to you and gasped. "Haneul?!"

"It flew out!"

Kai's dad pulled over at a clearing and quickly turned off the gas. "What happened?" he asked, turning around to face you.

"I'm so sorry but our dinner flew out... Auntie, I'm so sorry. The meat you prepared also flew out..."

Kai grabbed the door handle and let himself out, gasping for air. He staggered over to a nearby tree stump and sat down with his head between his knees. As you began walking towards him, his parents called out to you. 

"Haneul! Kai! We're going to walk back down and see what we can find!" they shouted, "we'll call if something happens, okay?"

You nodded, "when will you be back, auntie?"

"Soon!"

"How soon?!" Kai yelled.

"Soon!"

 

Two hours passed before Kai thought to ring his parents. They told him they had found the boxes that had held the food- but no food. 'Forest animals' was what they had said. You felt more than guilty, having lost the group's dinner for that night. It was supposed to be a nice barbeque on the top of the hill, watching the night sky but because of you, the barbeque idea had gone down the drain, never to return again. Kai noticed how rough you were feeling and wrapped one of the picnic blankets around you, smiling when you turned to him.

"You know, they'd be a lot more pissed if it hadn't been you that had opened the window. I'd be getting a whoop on the ."

You shrugged, "I feel bad. Your mom must have spent ages on the food."

"It's just bad luck, that's all. She won't be angry with you."

"What about your dad?"

"He probably finds the whole situation funny and I can bet you, in about 20 seconds," Kai said, looking at his watch, "he's going to text and say we're getting a Chinese take-away."

"You think so?"

Kai nodded, "definitely."

Sure enough, the text from his father came and you spent a good few minutes, laughing and rolling around on the grass together. It wasn't often you could be around such greenery and you came to rest, still lying on the floor. Kai crawled over to you and held up the blanket.

"Hey, let's lie on this. You don't want to get your clothes dirty."

 

After laying out the blanket and kicking off your shoes, the sky had turned dark. Obviously it couldn't have gotten dark so quickly in real life but it was your daydream and you wanted to skip forwards to the good bit. Kai's parents still hadn't returned, most probably because the delivery guy refused to drive up the hill through the forest and so they would have had to walk down to the bottom to meet him and then walk all the way back up. 

The stars in the sky twinkled as you pointed at them in amazement.

"Look at that one, Kai! It's so bright, isn't it? Do you think that's the 'North Star'?"

"C-Could be."

"Oh and isn't that saucepan looking thing supposed to be the 'Big Dipper'?"

"I think so."

You sighed, snuggling further under the pile of blankets and jackets that lay over you and Kai, keeping the two of you warm. Beside you, Kai's shoulder was pressed against yours and you turned your head to the side to look at him. 

He was staring up at the stars in total awe and amazement, wishing for his parents not to return. He wanted to savour this exact moment in time- July 13th- and remember the way you lay beside him, whispering and giggling. He wanted to hold on to the memory of you back-hugging him earlier, taking him by surprise, to try and stop him from feeling sick. He wanted to stop time and keep you with him forever. As you turned back to the sky, trying to pick out anymore constellations you recognised, he turned to face you, watching the light from his parents' car's headlights highlight one side of your face.

"Kai! Kai! That one! Look at it!"

Kai smiled, still not peeling his eyes away from you. "Yeah? What about it?"

"It's so sparkly and twinkly... and so pretty..." you said, staring at it.

"You are too"

You laughed, turning your head to face him again. "Hey Kai, don't say things like that. It'll seem like you like me-"

Turning to face him, you hadn't realised he had been staring at you and you moved your neck back in shock. Kai's hand shot up from under the covers, finding it's way to the back of your head and he gently held it before bringing his lips forward and planting a kiss on you.

"What were you were saying before I cut you off?" Kai asked mischeviously, "something about me liking you?"

 

You giggled to yourself stupidly as the float slipped out from under you and popped up at the surface of the water a few metres away from you. You swam to retrieve it and threw it to the side before slowly wading back, stopping along the way to perform a few handstands and flips. It was starting to get dark outside and you turned to look at the clock on the wall. 

Coming up to 8 o'Clock.

Would the boys be worried? Dinner time was fast approaching and no one knew where you were. After thinking, you decided that working out your thoughts was far more important than dinner and setting that aside, you carried on conjuring up your fantasies and daydreams. 

 

You were in a club somewhere in Europe. Your mind was telling you that perhaps it was Spain given all the paella and sangria deals going on for just €15. Scratch that actually. You knew where you were. Club Shoko, Port Olimpic, Barcelona, Catalunya- Spain.

Your dress was short and tight but you were with friends, most of them faceless in this daydream. You were dancing happily, allowing yourself to move with the music when a guy sidled up to you, putting his hands on your waist, his crotch resting against your bum. He was short and stout, tanned and ripped, broad and muscly and from Australia. Thinking nothing of it, you carried on dancing. That was until you felt the hands slide down ever so slightly.

You turned around to confront him and tell him to 'get lost' but he grabbed hold of your arms and began to pull you towards him. You looked around to find your faceless friends had disappeared and you struggled against the man, doing everything you could to make him let go of you. It wasn't until you could feel a tongue, stale with alcohol, roaming around in your mouth did you suddenly feel the man being peeled away from you forcibly. Standing in front of you holding his jacket for you to wear was Chanyeol, tall and proud and ready to beat up anyone for taking advantage of his girl.

"What the hell do you think you're doing to my girlfriend?! When a girl doesn't want to go any further with you, don't push her into it. That's not what real men do."

Seeing Chanyeol's dark eyes and hearing Chanyeol's low growling, the guy fled, disappearing into the mass of sweaty, drunk people looking to have a good night. Clubs had never really been your scene and you paused for a moment to wonder why on earth your mind would set this next daydream in a club. Maybe you liked the idea of having someone save you from leery men.

Yeah, I probably just fantasize about someone rescuing me. I mean, doesn't everyone think of that? A knight in shining armour rescuing the damsel in distress? 

Back in the daydream, in the club the music suddenly became white noise. The people around you no longer mattered, their moist bodies pushing up against you no longer annoyed you and you hugged your boyfriend tightly. He patted your head gently, your hair, one hand resting on the hollow of your back.

"I'm sorry I left you for so long," Chanyeol said.

"What happened?"

"Turns out there's a girl giving a guy a in the men's bathroom. That's why the queue went on for ages. I gave up waiting though so I think I'll find somewhere to pee inconspicuously outside. Hope you don't mind, Han."

You simply clutched onto Chanyeol tighter. "Of course I don't mind you peeing."

"I'm really sorry I didn't get here sooner. Did that jerk do anything to you? Are you okay, Hana Banana?"

And you nodded, kissing Chanyeol on the lips. "I am now that you're here."

 

After that, you headed to the beach as the club was just a few minutes stroll away from it. It was early morning and with Chanyeol's jacket around you, you tore off your sandals and rode on his back. As you approached the the water, the silence became too much for your worried boyfriend.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Chanyeol whispered.

You nodded in response, nuzzling into his neck.

"Sure?"

Kissing his neck and leaving a trail of light butterfly kisses, you nodded again. "It's not like I haven't had to deal with that sort of thing before."

 

In the pool, back in reality, you clenched your fists and swam a length to take your mind off the bad experience with Daehyun. Even then though, now that you thought about it, Chanyeol had come to your rescue. The daydream kept playing in your head.

 

"I know but... I feel bad either way. Both times,  I should have been quicker. I should have been able to protect you and-"

"Yeollie, let's not talk about that sort of thing," you said, "okay?"

"But-"

"Please?"

Chanyeol nodded reluctantly, "okay. If that's what you want."

"Yeah," you said, "let's just drop it-"

You suddenly felt Chanyeol drop you and he turned around, mouth open and eyes wide, to find you sitting in the sea, soaked to the bone. "Chanyeol!" you yelled at your boyfriend, standing above you like the giant he was. 

"Haneul! What are you-?! I thought you said 'drop me!' What are you doing there?..."

"I said 'drop it' not 'drop me', idiot!"

"I'm so sorry, princess," Chanyeol said, bending down to help you up. You took hold of his hand and before he could haul you up, you pulled and he tumbled on top of you into the wet too. "Haneul!"

You grinned innocently, batting your eyelashes, "yes?"

Chanyeol wrapped his arms around you and helped you to your feet. You both stood on the beach, hugging each other.

"Chanyeol, why are you still hugging me?"

"You'll get hypothermia and die."

"Chanyeol, we're in Spain."

"I know." 

"It's hot here."

"I know that."

"We won't get hypothermia."

"I know that too."

"Then?..."

"I just wanted an excuse to hold you like this."

 

You grinned to yourself gleefully, wondering what other situations to imagine yourself in next. A secret agent on a death mission who can only be saved by another secret agent who-... No. "Far too complicated," you thought, pushing the thought aside. What era do you think you're in? The medieval times? Wild West? Someone in an arranged marriage? Haneul Shin, please. Where is your originality? Girl getting stalked by a creep and someone swooping in to save her? Well... That's feasible I suppose.

 

You were on the bus, coming home from a night shift at the local library. Headphones were in, world was out. Nothing could stop your mood. Gently bobbing you head along to the rhythm, you focused on the nightlife outside as you waited for the bus to take you through Hongdae. The bright lights of the numerous shops, bars and clubs were intoxicating. Scantily clad girls walked the streets, only occasionally getting jeers from drunk men. Little staircases up to the flats above shops had their twin barber poles twirling round and round outside and you shuddered a little at the thought of what went on in those closed spaces. Just imagine...

Behind you, sat Lay, also staring out of the window. He watched as your lips pursed every now and then. He watched your eyelids flutter now and then, taking in the bright lights of Seoul, the neon colors coming to rest on your face in a blur of hues. He watched you shuffle on your seat uncomfortably as the bus passed a man vomiting on the street and he saw as you turned your head to keep an eye on a group of girls desperately trying to help their completely drunk friend. The bus jerked to a halt and you went crashing forwards, only just managing to grab the bar before you were thrown out onto the passenger sitting in front of you, a level lower. Your headphones flew out of your ears and your phone landed on the floor with a loud thump, sliding backwards. You stood up, gasping and kneeled on the chair facing backwards, locking the first eye contact with Lay. He bent down and rummaged around on the dirty floor to pick up your phone, grabbing it by the headphones and lifting it up.

The bus stalled and Lay's head whacked against you hard plastic seat in front of him and you gasped again, reaching out a hand to ask if he was alright. With one eye closed to try and deal with the pain, he nodded and passed you back your phone, your headphones looking a lot dirtier than they had been just minutes before. You looked at them gingerly before taking them out of the jack and shoving them into your bag.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

You settled back down into your seat, placing your phone in the back pocket of your jeans, finding your hands to be the next most interesting thing to look at in order to speed up the journey a little more. As the bus passed a series of electronic chain-stores, you looked up and your eyes followed them. 

Should I get off? We're not that far from home. I could just walk down the back streets and get there in about twenty minutes or so...

Making your mind up, you leant forwards, pressing the bell to get off. As you got up, Lay noticed your phone had slipped out and he ran off the bus too to give it back to you. Watching you enter a mega-store, he groaned knowing it was unlikely he'd find you again. Instead, he decided he'd wait outside until you came back out of the entrance. After 10 minutes or so, you re-emerged from the store with a plastic bag and your new headphones in. Once outside, you cracked open the box and took them out, reaching into your pocket to get your phone only to panic when you realised it wasn't there. Lay had only just noticed your presence and smiled, kicking off the wall and walking over to you. In a mad panic, you dashed off down the street to head to the bus office where any lost property could be reported and possibly found. 

"W-Wait!" Lay yelled after you, "I have your phone!"

 

He sighed and began chasing after you, unsure of how you could run so fast in a skirt and flats. Your hair flapped about in the wind as you dived and jumped past people. Seeing a crowd gathered to watch a guerilla performance by a semi well-known girl group, you turned down a side street deciding you'd be able to get to the office faster if you took a shortcut. Feeling tired, you came to a halt and carried on walking, clutching your shopping bag in your hand. 

After a while, you decided to walk up a narrow side street to get back onto the main road. You were nearly at the office and you could hear the loud chattering from the nightlife and the cool kids partying it up. Lay had been a good 100 metres or so behind you every step of the way and despite easily being able to catch up and give you back your phone, he had decided to hold onto it a bit longer. It was strange. He just wanted to be able to follow you a little longer. 

"Ah!" you screamed as someone grabbed your shirt collar from behind. You had gotten half way down the dark side street when you felt someone behind you and although there had been no one when you turned around, someone had a hold of you. "! ! !" you yelled, hoping that someone would be able to hear you from the loud and crowded, busy main road. 

Your attacker had chosen his location wisely and he growled, almost laughing. Lay had started running and stopped just short of turning the corner, fumbling around in his bag frantically. He didn't want to be too late but he couldn't go into a fight without a weapon of his own. All he could find was a torch he had used to help him fix the gas meter at his friend's place and he held it in his hand, feeling it's heaviness. He could at least bash it about a good few times and it'd probably do a bit of damage.

"I'm not going to you, stupid girl." 

You shrieked and chills ran down Lay's spine as he dropped his bag, slipping into the shadows and slowly walking towards you. You felt a cool blade run against your cheek and Lay saw a flash of metal in the darkness. 

"Please... Please..."

"Keep begging."

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you felt the blade make it's way down towards your neck, smooth side against your skin. "Please. I don't want to die. You don't want to kill me-"

"Oh but I do."

"Why? Why?"

"Because life is unfair to me and-"

There was a loud thump and you screamed, shutting your eyes and dropping to the ground as soon as you felt the knife leave your neck. You held your hands over your ears and cried loudly, wondering what was going on. What happened to the man? What happened to the knife? What was going on? Everything was dark and you screamed again when you felt a hot, sweaty hand cup your cheek.

Opening one eye slightly, you saw the stranger from the bus standing in front of you. Lay had a bruised jaw and a split lip but he smiled using his uninjured side. Beside him was a police officer and they both held torches- the officer's pointing at you and Lay's at himself. He squatted, stooping to your level and gently pryed your hands away from your ears. You were shaking and crying and he shut his eyes, wrapping his arms around you.

"He's gone now, okay? You're safe."

 

You smiled for a long while as you lay afloat on the water. Jaemin was right. The water really did help. The water really did calm you. And perhaps the water was going to help you make up your mind because somewhere deep down, you knew you liked one of them. Perhaps you had suppressed those feelings. Perhaps it was just taking you a long time to realise them.

Maybe feelings aren't supposed to hit you in the face like a baseball bat or a school bus. Maybe they're supposed to be like moths, fluttering about causing trouble, being swatted away when you're awake but latching on and eating away when you're not watching. Or maybe feelings like those were like a great aunt- you'd never really see her often but when you did, she'd bombard you with kisses and questions and hugs and presents until you felt like suffocating. Or feelings could be bumblebees or wasps- perfectly fine until they sting and bite you on the . Or more likely than not, you were just stupid and as Xiumin had said, 'the only one not to pick up'.

And before you could begin to imagine anything else, there was a rap of knuckles on the glass which frightened you half to death. Jaemin appeared in the office window waving then tapping his wrist then pointing to the clock.

9 o'clock... Oops.

You duck dived underwater and slunk over to the steps, clambering out and wringing out your hair. When you looked back over at the office, the light was off and Jaemin was gone.

Shrugging, you picked up your bottle and your bag, wrapped your towel around you and made your way to the changing rooms to get dressed. You turned your phone on to play some music, humming along to the tune as you showered, and when you had finished blow drying your hair you glanced at yourself in the mirror and smiled, nodding at your reflection.

"I've looked to where my mind wanders, mom, and I think I know now..." you said, nodding, "I think I know who it is." 

 

 

 

---

Hiya all! Please accept my deepest apologies for the sheer amount of time I've kept you guys waiting (does a long update make up for it or am I just being cheeky to ask that?). Anyone following me on twitter will know how stressed out I've been editing (or procrastinating and not actually editing) my stories. I gave myself a target to be finished editing by...  a week ago? Yeah, target wasn't met. That's safe to say... OTL My original plan was to have the store for the hard copies open on 1st December but it seems a bit unlikely now... I might have to open it on 1st January... Either way, I'm still going to push for December because I think it'd be nice to have it open just before Christmas etc ok none of you care.

You might also have noticed that D.O's name is now Kyungsoo. I originally wanted to keep it as D.O for the rest of this story but having to edit some 300-400 pages and change EACH AND EVERY D.O gets annoying. And I know there's that feature to 'replace all' on Word but for some STUPID reason, my laptop changes it from D.O to 'KYUNGSOO' instead of 'Kyungsoo' (and no one seems to have made a button to switch all caps to all lower case)

Happy Halloween though!!!!! Are you guys going to any parties? What are you guys dressing up as? I'm going to a party as Miley Cyrus~

AND YES. THE NEXT CHAPTER SEES THE START OF THE OFFICIAL ENDING. This is the cut off point for all the endings (so basically all the endings start from the next chapter.) THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END ;_; 

So tell me, whose daydream did you like the best? Aquarium date with slightly erted boyfriend Kyungsoo? Holiday date with cheesy boyfriend Chanyeol? First confession with cute now-your-boyfriend Kai? Protective Lay saving the day? Tell me in the comments!