That night Kiseop and I went home and I couldn't help but feel guilt. Because... All that was on my mind was someone else. I don't even know why I feel like this. 

"Goodnight." Kiseop smiled an pecked my forehead before I went in to my apartment. "Goodnight Kiseop." Then hesitantly I got on my tippy toes and pecked his lips.

Then just as I was about to go in, he called, "I love you~." My heart stopped, not because of happiness of the words that had been exchanged between us so many times but because I knew that my reply wouldn't be true. Because I wasn't sure anymore. I was doubting myself and it was killing me inside. I was hurting and I didn't even understand. Why, why were these simple three words that I had told him so many times, so difficult to say now? Was this even making sense? I love Kiseop. Or is it, I loved Kiseop. The things we had gone through in the past year were so meaningful. I had fallen in love. Kiseop is or was my first love... So what's the problem now?

"I-I love you too." I stuttered and quickly slipped into the apartment.

I quickly escaped into my room, ignoring everyone and everything. But I stopped as soon as I opened my door, Kevin. "K-Kevin?" 

"Hyunnie~!" He smiled, getting up from my bed and immediately hugging me. 

Why was it that such skinship that I was so used to, became so foreign. Was it when I was in America? Where Kevin wasn't near me unlike in Korea where he would be by my side in a heartbeat. Had I taken all his love for granted at that time? Why is my heart accelerating right now? Questions ran through my head.

I slowly wrapped my arms around him as well. "Even though you've been back for a while, we haven't gotten to spend time with each other like before. I wanted to catch up with you." Kevin pulled away and smiled. I gave him a weak smile and nodded, both of us sitting down on the bed.

"So how's Vic?" I managed to sputter. Kevin seemed to be taken aback by the question before sighing. "What is it?" I asked him with hopeful eyes. 

"Um, we broke up actually." He said and that feeling returned. Yes, that feeling i had years ago when Victoria had told me she liked Kevin and I couldn't feel happy for her. But now I can't feel sympathy for her. 

"O-oh." I tried to be shocked and felt catty. What type of person am I? There's no way it's possible...

"It's ok." Kevin turned to me and smiled. "Well anyway I should be going now before Kiseop and Mina get into another fight or break something." He laughed and got up and hesitantly I got up with him. We walked out of my room and to the front door and he turned back and stopped as if thinking whether he should do somethiing or not. "What's wr-" I was cut off as he leaned in and kissed my forehead. 

"See you tomorrow." He pulled back and i kept my eyes looking down. He avoided my eyes as well and for some reason he was breathless, as if he had been holding his breath. "I'm sorry." 

Two quick words...

And then he left. Leaving me. Leaving me frozen as realization hit me.

I'm sorry.

~~~~~

thank you for the new subs and comment <333 idk why this story is so viewed and stuff XD BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH like i am near crying when you guys say you love this story and all that because honestly it compared to my other works <33 but thank you so much :) <3