Jaejoong POV

Am I fool? Like to play a kite... I pull and stalling my feelings.

Yesterday I hate him.... today I care him... tomorrow I hate him... the day after tomorrow i care him...

It’s real for me? even it’s myself i don’t know if it’s real... indecisive feeling.

I rub my palm, the weather is so cold to be ignored. What happen to him? it’s just a simple message but it can make me going crazy like this... and why the text message and his unclear voice coming when Im in the state I need him. Oh, i also need him... don’t know why...

his eyes... his eyes before he leaving me, always haunted me. those eyes told me if He can’t go before take me out... isn’t he happy? He lives perfectly with someone else who he loves.

“Maam, we already arrived.”

The driver told me if we’re arrived, and it broke my day-dreaming. I give him money, and open the door.

“He said me Maam? That’s funny.”

-

-

Im in hurry looking for him. where’s he?

I stopped my step and calling him.

“Yoboseyo, im arrived. Where’re you?”

“Come to the second floor, Im waiting you. Do you bring Yoobin?”

“No, Im alone. Why?”

“Nothing... and let’s come here.”

Yunho was alone in the corner, his smile appear when I make my step faster, toward him.

“Yunho!” I shout to him.

He just giving me a smile.

“What?” I look at him.

Now we’re look each other, until he come closer to me, and pulled my hand.

“What  happen?” I follow him with no reason, today Im really blank~

“Yunho, where are you bring me? are you okay? Is your wife Okay? Is your daughter Okay? Is your family Okay?”

“Ssh...”

He command me to stop speaking, and bring me to somewhere.

-

-

We stopped and keep silent infront of a room in the hospital.

“Isn’t Ob/gyn department?” I ask to him, and he slowly released his hand. I feel free for it, he grabbed me too tight.

“Where’s your check up letter?” He lend his hand to me.

Now what? I don’t know what he want from me. im full of question. “F-for what?”

“Please,” He keep lend his hand and smile. A bitter smile.

Yeah... I don’t know what it is... what he mean... what and what until end.

“I’ll tell you later, i promise.”

I look at his eyes, he beg to me.

“Okay...”

I took my check up letter and give it to him, he smiled, and grab my hand again.

-

-

“what’s wrong Kim Jaejoong sshi? Not usually you come here at night.” Said one of nurse.

“I m his husband, I wanna see our baby. How’s he moved and is he active?”

Im a little surprised for his action, what is this? But like he know what i feels, he grabbed my hand super tight.

“Oh Okay... the doctor still examine another patient, please wait patiently. Finally Kim Jaejoong sshi, you bring your husband come here. ^ ^”

“Ne, but isn’t same if I came here alone or with my cousin(Junsu)?”

The nurse chuckled, “No, not same Kim Jaejoong sshi... it’s really good if the Father also giving support to the Mother and unborn baby ^ ^”

I sigh, because i don’t know it was true or not, but Im okay until my 7th month pregnancy.

“Let’s sit... “ He offered me.

-

-

Not long, the nurse call my name. Yunho back to hold my hand.

The doctor invite us to sit, she smiling and asked me.

“What you bring here Jaejoong sshi?”

“I-“

“Annyeong doctor, Im Kim Yunho, his husband.”

Mpfth... what the hell? he use my surename. Im giggles like a hell. what is that?

Yunho look at me, he was make a pout, but he also smiled. “That’s why you called Kim Jaejoong, because Im Kim’s.”

I cover my mouth~ it’s really make me ticklish~ Kim Yunho? Hahaha... maybe it’s Jaeho time.

“Okay doctor, it’s my first time come here with him... then i want to know how’s my baby moved inside his tummy.”

“But Im already do that.... I bring the result. “ I looking for the result from my bag but yunho stopped me.

“No. I want look it for real.”

The doctor smiled to me, and made me change the cloth, to do Ultrasound.

“Come here Kim Jaejoong sshi,” the nurse was prepare clothes for me.

“wait.” I said to yunho and he nod.

-

“Im ready doctor.” I lay my body on the matress.

She started rubbing a gel arround my stomach.

“Wow~ he’s very active Jaejoong sshi, even i still prepare it.”

“Yeah... I can feel he kick me, here.”I told the doctor where’s the position my baby kicked me.

“It-it moved!” Yunho looks happy and wanna touch my stomach.

“Yak! Don’t touch, only doctor can touch it!” i yelled to him, it’s too embrassing me >///<

“Haha... offcourse you can touch it, Mr Kim.”

“Really doctor?”ask Yunho.

“B-but...”

Yeah... finally Yunho touch my stomach, he looks cute when touch it... hey jung Yunho... haven’t you ever do that to your wife?

-

-

-

***

AUTHOR POV

After checking the baby condition, they leaving the room. But Jaejoong stopped Yunho.

“Now tell me what do you want from me.”

“The doctor told me if you must consume tomato juice, can I leaving you for a while ?I’ll buy for you.” Yunho pretend he doesn’t hear anything from Jaejoong.

“Yunho, listen me.”

“Can you waiting for me here?”

“Yunho is it your trick?!”

“Not longer... I’ll comeback.”

“Do you know, how much I worry about you?! You’re fine and nothing bad happen to you or your family!”

“....”

“What do you mean with your fake tears? What do you mean with LIE to me? You’re lied Jung Yunho.”

“Jae.. I...”

“you cry like you lose your family.That’s why Im worried.”

“am I false?” asked Yunho weakly.

“Sure! Don’t use your fake tears for calling me. You know if I can worried easily. You make opportunity for taking back my heart?! Please don’t...”

“Im sorry...”

“Sorry isn’t enough. Junsu and my parents will angry if they know the truth. Cmon, we already make a deal. We can’t be together...”

“Am I false if I want a normal life? Am I false if i want take a look my son? Am I false if I have healthy wife? Am I false if I want make it true with you even just one night or for a while? After I finished it, you can leave me as your want. Yeah we already finished. You can leave or throw me now.”

“What are you talking?”

“Im false. This is kind of life’s God give to me. I can’t life normally. I have two lover who carried my child but I can’t make one of them happy. I think it’s punishment to me.”

Yunho wipe his watery eyes, while Jaejoong still don’t know what Yunho’s mean.

“Yunho?... ”

“Im Okay now... I already know the answer. You’re right. I must make my wife happy. Because you said if your happiness is seeing me comeback to my wife, and only love her.”

“yes... offcourse.” Jaejoong softly.

“Then go away from my life ... forget all about me. erase my phone number, erase all memories between us.”

Jaejoong muted like a stone.

“I you can’t go, I’ll go. Unfortunately Yoobin don’t come, if she come I also say farewell for her.”

“Then... today is farewell?”

“You want to see my happiness right?”

“...”

“You even said if they (yun’s child) don’t need me.. Now I really great your wishes,  please don’t regret it.”

YUNHO POV

It called sacrife of love Jaejoong ... I'm willing to pretend to be happy so long as you see me happy. It hard for me for living like now.

I must choose, You or my wife.  

I know you can't.... I know you still need me. But I also tired... I want you to be my wife but you rejected me.

***

"Yunho don't ... hiks,"

"What's wrong? " Im curious why he suddenly crying like this?

"that's not true if I want you really go out from my life..."

"then... ?"

"We... we have a child... to be honest, Im afraid... if I separate them with you, but I don't know what must I do, you have your own family ..."

"it's not too late if you accept me."

"But..."

"If you wanna leave, Please marry a man who care you and our child. if you want to see my happiness, then I also want to see your happiness... show me if you can forget me."

"Yunho I don't know! it's like a threatment! " Jaejoong looks confused now.

"Because I want to see you happy. Im too much hurting you. and now you also make me confuse, last day you told if You want me back to inna and find my happiness, but now what's the real? You can't."

"you're still love me, want me,need me, miss me,worried me, and everything." continued Me.

"I just want to make it clearly something between us." Yunho.

"is it Okay if i accepted you as my husband?how about inna? my parents? your baby? our child?"

I hugged him, 

God, why do you make our love filled with guilt?

 I was same with him but if I don't continue to propose him, that's all will be ruined.

gaaaaaaaah Yunjae! why you're always make me in troubleeeee why why why! *changmin mode*
Jaejoong plinplaaaaaaaaaannnn doh!

Im sorry readers... the person who more life suffer is still Jaejoong T^T Im sorry Umma. *look at how much my chapter and they still in trouble 

HUWAA >,..<