Jaejoong look at his cellphone, Junsu call him back.

“Yoboseyo Junsu.”

“What’s going on? Will you accept his as your husband after his father bow and beg you??!”

Jaejoong make a distance from his phone.

“Yak Yoochun ah, don’t yell! Im not. I won’t accept this Okay? Don’t worry.”

“aish- Jaejoong how many times i told you if you must warn him if you can’t married him.” angry yoochun.

“I know, but please don’t be angry, that’s not my style Yoochun, i can’t do that to him.He’s my child’s father.”

“You can leave him for three years but why now you can’t?you looks tied by him you know?”

“Im not tied...”

“Because you live with those people who want you marry him, like ahjumma, changmin and ahjusshi. Jaejoong, I know you. You always changed your mind anytime without thinking first.”

“Yoochun, believe for the last, I won’t marry him....”

“For your child sake i think you’re better leave him, i don’t want make them sad because their father is not marry their mommy but marry someone else who also giving him a child. What a complicated family tree.”

“I know yoochun... I know.”

“If you know, let him go.”

“I do that Yoochun, please trust me.”

“But that’s all up to you, i don’t reserve it. Im sorry.”

PIP

“Yoochun ah, ... why you turn off it?”

HUFT

  ***

JAEJOONG POV

I sat beside my Appa who peeling an apples

“Appa... can i eat this?”

“sure, come here, sit besides appa.”

“Thanks appa.” I took some and eat it.

“it Is good for you.”

“Yes, the doctor told me if i must consume some fruits, because my fetus is small.”

He stopped peeling and put the knife slowly, like he wanna tell me something to me.

“Jaejoong...”

“yes appa?” (munch)

“Im sorry, I can’t be good appa for you.” My father is shaking now... does he... crying?

“Appa... what’s wrong?”

“it’s my fault, and i don’t have responsibility for it, and make your life suffer like now.” My appa

“Appa, I don’t know what do you mean.” I caressing his back and lowered my voice.

“You supposed be my little girl.”

He wiped his tears and continued his lines.

“When you was born, im very happy to hear that... because my first child is boy. You know it right? if Korean have a son as his first child, our life will full of grateful from God.”

Im nod, waiting him continued this.

“But ... the doctor came to me and said if you better being girl than boy. it’s really shocked me, i was stunned and don’t know what must to do... “

“Appa? What’s the point of?”

“Your female hormone is more dominant than your male hormone, and you have two in your body.”

“two? Two ??” I open widen my mouth.

“Yes, you supposed to be girl but i forced you being boy because i want boy as my first child.”

“so.. that’s the reason why i haven’t hair in my body?” I look arround my hand, silky. “But appa, my is male. I have Pxxxx and i also can produce .”

“yes, i know... the doctor was told me if we can choose, “ “but they also give me the recommended.”

“And the recommended is a girl?”

“yes...”

“so? Why appa feels so sorry to me? I think appa do the right thing for me.if appa choose me as girl, how weird is it. a girl has Pxxxx and can fertilize a girl too. So scary appa.”

“but being a girl is better because you can pregnant. but it’s too late if i regret it.”

“Appa... male pregnancy is not too bad as heard, please don’t regret anything, because that’s useless.” I calming appa and rub his back.

“they start talking about you.” Suddenly Umma come and sit between us.

“They? They who umma?”

“Neighbour...”

“What are they talking about me?” I changed my position and forward to umma.

“They said...

1. ‘who’s Jaejoong? Is he your son?’

 2. ‘but lastnight i met him, he has a big bump and bring a little kid who called him mommy. Am I false?he’s boy or girl?’

 3. ‘is SHE married? But why you’re not invite me’

4. ‘she you said? Jaejoong is boy! i remember when Jae was in school,he wearing trouser.’

5. ‘how can he got pregnant. is he transgender?’

6. ‘hey Suyoung!*Umma’s name* you deliver boy or girl?’

“is it real? They talk me with a such weird sentences.” I threw the pillow.

“Yeah... and it’s bothering your Appa, look at his weird face also.” Umma pointing Appa who still stunned.

“whatever they say, Im okay.”

“But you can’t being selfish Jaejoong, You have family right?”

“So? What i must to do for this family?”

“....” Umma keep silent.

“Omo! Don’t tell if Umma wants me being woman.”

Umma and appa nodded.
 

“Mwo?? That’s not dream??” I pinched my cheeks and i felt hurt, so it isn’t a dream.

“Jaejoong....  i think it’s not the problem right? because you dresseed like woman look a like everyday right?” Umma said.

“Who says?! I always dressed like a man! Umma, appa! Im MALE!”

“Male doesn’t wear any fluff jacket.”

“Impossible! Do you know U-Know-TVXQ? At MKMF he wear fluffy jacket and he’s manly.”

“But your colour is pink, sometimes peach too.=,=”

“Umma! Since when you pay attention with my outfits?”

“Since you comeback from America, sometimes im forget if i my first son is boy.”

“And a man doesn’t wear maternity dress.” Continued appa.

“Appa?! It’s fair because Im pregnant.

Appa : “You wear it when you’re not pregnant.=.=”

Umma : “And your last selca is so weird, you wear Yoobin’s ribbon and make a cute pose.”

Appa : “You care with your nails.”

Umma : “You even wear dress.”

Appa :  “and your boots so femme.”

Umma : “and you treat Yoobin so far so good, i like when you combing her hair it looks cute.”

Jaejoong : *cold face*

-

-

-

@Bathroom

No way! Im not female. Im a male, can’t they look at me?

I don’t have ! Here my Pxxxx!

“Huft... But I was had the thoughest time in my whole.”

When i was junior highschool, a senior male student always bullied me. because i haven’t hair in my body... that jerks write my name at blackboard as sissy, threw me an eggs and shout if im unfortunate child, and the girls do same thing... switch my trousers with their skirt after sport lesson done, when i open my bag, there’s some pads. They put it into my bag, so they can mocked me if i got menstruation like a girl.

But i can survive until i graduate...

I changed my appereance when I in senior highschool, i cut my hair and dressing more manly, sometimes i wear a strong man-perfumme, many girls had a crush with me but i can’t approved them... because im shy.

They called me a cold-prince... i was nominated being the king of welcome party. It’s so memorable and sweet. Even i don’t have any friends.

And  the problem come... I had a crush with my senior, and he’s Male student. He’s the headmaster’s son.

He’s my first love. after I confess my feeling to him, He leaving me and messing my life and spread rumor if Im gay. Not longer than a week... they called my parents and forced me signing a resignation-letter.

Im so depressed in that state.... I skip my school for one years.

I never care with my appereance... my hair growing long, when i go to the supermarket or goes to public peoples look at me as girl. Im afraid wear a man’s stuff (im traumatic with this) but I also can’t wear a woman’s stuff, because Im a Male. So i decided balancing them. The printed cartoon loose shirt and jeans is my favorite.

This state makes me interested in design, so i collect many information about fashion design and changed my life. I comeback at school and study hard until graduate, and luckily~ i got my scholarship and continued study in university.

I have a lot of friends in college... but still i have a problem. for a long years i don’t know my ual orientation.I started dating girl, but they leave me at least because Im not good in .

sometimes I miss my first love.I imagine cheating him *he has a girlfriend now* and make love with him. someday, I met a man who confess his feeling to me. he knelt infront of me and give me a bouquet roses.

“My name is Choi Siwon from bussiness-management faculty. Im in love with you and wants to be your....(thingking) BOYFRIEND.”

I look at mirror and chukled, Siwon is my hero... he save me from kegalauan *confuseness*  LOL

Then I know if Im gay....

He accompany me for three years, but there’s something that make our relationship broken. I met Jung Yunho in bar.

Im cheating....

I comfort being gay and half-dressed as woman.... but what the heck my parents... they ask me being a woman. T^T

***

AUTHOR POV

“Jaejoong!where are you? Come here, Yunho is come.”

Jaejoong heard Umma call him, so he decided turn down.

“Here my daughter.” Appa said that when Jaejoong come.

“Who’s daughter? Im your son Appa.” Jaejoong pout his lips cutely.

“I never heard if son meet son for marriage.”

“Marriage? Who’s will married? I won’t marry.” Jaejoong sitting and crossing his arm.

“Jaejoong... listen Mr yoo first.”

“i don’t want. Yunho was know if i can’t marry him. let himself asking his son in law. fine? I must back to my home before night. Thank you.” Jaejoong leaving livingroom, even Mr yoo and Yunho speaks.

“That stubborn.” Whisper Yunho.

“Why he became like that? is she my son? Where’s his attitude?” said Jaejoong’s appa.

“We... we’re feel sorry Mr yoo, we can’t forced him... “ said Jaejoong’s appa.

Mr Yoo drink his tea for a while...

“How’s your second son?” ask Mr Yoo.

“We can give him explain soon, i think he’s more stabil than Jaejoong.”

“and yunho... don’t worry with him, we can take care him and your child. You can visit them everytime, we’re open to you.” Explain Umma.

“I know it Umma... i can do that. but i can’t give Inna explanation, she wants me marrying Jaejoong, and her condition in bad now. I don’t want the rejection hurt her.” Yunho speaks tremble.

“I hope she can receive it... or you can bring me to her, i’ll talk to her.” Umma.

“My daughter is stubborn... same as with your first son.” Let my self talk to her.

“Im sorry Mr Yoo...”

“That’s Okay and our problem is clear, but can I talk with your second son?” ask Mr Yoo.

“Sure, but he’s still in school. There’s a lot of pre test lately.”

“I want apologize to him, because my family can’t grant his wishes.”

“You don’t need it Mr Yoo... .”

“Okay, I have a restaurant here the address” Mr yoo giving Umma a cardname. “he can go there anytime he need, for his whole life. And free.”

“But Mr yoo how can you know if our second son like eat and food?” Umma look at Yunho but in reflect, yunho shook his head.

“I know it from the nurse, =,=” when he in hospital, he eat alot and eat 8th times.”

“aish- that kid.” Umma grumbled.

“well, okay Mr and Mrs Kim, i accepted your rejection, but I assume you as my family-part because my son in law has a child with your son.”

“Yes sure, Mr Yoo... you and Yunho can come here anytime.”

“Umma, thank you and we permission to leave.” Said Yunho politely.

JAEJOONG POV

Before Yunho and his father leave, I look Yunho from the window, sometimes he look at here... like he know where’s my position.

“Im sorry... my Hubby.” A single tears fall down from Jae’s cheek.

“Papaaa!”

Omo I saw Yoobin runs and hugged her appa. Yunho caressing Yoobin’s cheeks and kiss her.”

End of Jaejoong POV

“Papa, thanks for it.” Yoobin give yunho a baby bear doll that she received today.

“Ugh? What’s that baby?”

“a gift from Papa.” She play with it.

YUNHO POV

I think im not giving her a doll? But why she ask me for it?

“Papa... can you leave here for a while?” Begged Yoobin.

“Not now baby, Papa must accompany Grandfather go home.” I give her sense.

“I can go by my self. Accompany her, she missing you a lot... i also have a daughter, so i know it from her eyes.” sad Mr yoo.

“But Ye Eun ?” Yunho asking about his baby.

“My wife can take care of her, don’t worry... and you can meet her everyday but Yoobin isn’t. Okay? You also can stay here if Mr Kim allow you.” Mr yoo look at Mr Kim who nodded, give his allow.

Yunho nod, and back to Yoobin.

“it’s fine baby, Papa can accompany you now.”

“Really Papa?”

“yes... i won’t leave you, i promised.” Yunho hugged her and kiss Yoobin’s forehead.

“I’ll leave now.” Mr Yoo closed the car and wave his hand.

-----------------------***tbc***---------------------------