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            I let out a sigh as I watch the production crew film another shot of the boys dancing their dance routine.  This was the last filming for the day and it was already 1 AM.  The boys finished their dancing as Yixing took the lead and his dance solo finished the routine.  They breathed heavily as the music came to a stop.  PD Kim cued for the filming to stop and everyone clapped loudly.  We can all now rest for a few hours before we start filming again at 8 in the morning.

            I smiled at Kyungsoo as he made his way off the set.  I handed him a water bottle and he smiled.  “Thank you, Noona.” he said, as he opened the bottle.  He was covered in sweat.

            “Of course.” I said, as I watched the other boys go the other directions.  “Oh!  Toru!  Kreng!  Lu Han!”  I stopped myself and shook my head.  “I mean-”

            “Yixing!” he laughed, as he headed my way.  “Geesh, Jie Jie!  You always call me ‘Lu Han!’  It might as well be my nickname.”

            I gave him an apologetic smile as I handed him a water bottle.  Kyungsoo, Toru, and Kreng laughed, making me blush at my mistake.  “Noona, why doesn’t Lu Han Hyung come visit any more?” whispered Toru, innocently.

            I smiled softly at him.  “Hyung is busy with school.” I explained.  “He has a lot of exams to study for, Toru.”

            I didn’t expect him to understand.  Toru is only 16 years old after all.  He’s still too young to understand that boyfriends and girlfriends don’t have to be attached at the hip all the time to have a strong relationship.

            3 months passed by quickly with our pre-filming training.  As the filming day came closer and closer, we all became more and more nervous about our performances.  Even though the group and I were not debuting as an idol band and would have to perform live, we still wanted to do our best.  We want to give our all into this because this was everyone’s ticket into the entertainment business.  So, we would all stay up to midnight or later with each passing week.  Then, we would spend hours in the recording room, trying to get it.  And, eventually, we almost didn’t even have time to eat because eating took up too much time.

            I didn’t even realize that I didn’t talk to Lu Han for a month until I looked at my call log…  He texted me less than he used to and I tried to reply to him as much as I could.  It was only reasonable that it was the way it was because we were both busy with our lives.  I with my filming and Lu Han with school…  Speaking about school...  As much as I want to put my full attention on school the whole entire week, I focus on my acting on the weekdays and school on the weekend.  It made me felt a little better that I didn't completely neglected my schooling.

            For some odd reason, my parents and my brother have been able to call at the exact time when I have extra time lately.  But, it’s not like I can talk to them about everything that I’m experiencing.  The talks are always short lived, 3 minutes or so.  I missed them so much that every single time we talk I would become teary and want to cry. 

            “Are the other girls still around?” asked Yixing, looking around for them.

            They were, but they must be napping because I didn’t see them around either.  Kyungsoo, Yixing, and Kreng started to talk about something as they headed to the dressing room.  I turned to Toru, who was holding up his cell phone.  I smiled.  He was reading a text.

            “Toru.” I called out.  He turned to me with a cheerful smile.

            As the magnae, he always had the most ageyo and made us happy when we’re stressed out.  For the youngest, he was the tallest out of all of us with his 186 cm frame.  He had a babyface that reminds me of Lu Han.  But, Toru really was innocent compared to the babe magnet Lu Han.

            “I’m going to call my mom after this!” he told me, with a happy voice.  “I told her to stay up, so we can talk.”

            I smiled.  It must be hard for all of my foreign costars because they are in a new country…  They have to learn a new language, experience a new culture, and live a new life style without their parents at their sides, I thought.  Just because I’m a few hours away from home, that doesn’t mean that I still can’t go and visit for a day.  Mom and Dad came to visit once with food…  I wonder how hard it is for them to be hundreds of miles away from home.

            “I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear from you, Toru.” I commented.

            “Oh, I know!” he laughed.  “She’s been worrying a lot about me, but I tell her that I’m fine…  As much fun as I am having, I want to go home and see her.”

            “Hm.” I nodded.

            Toru is from a single parent home.  His parents divorced when he was younger and has been with his mom ever since.  She works most of the time to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads while he studies.  From what Toru said, his mom was disappointed in him when he told her that he wanted to be a singer.  But, she eventually came to accept his dream when he got casted for the movie.  I smiled at the thought of Toru bringing his mom presents and squeezing her literally to death with a hug when he goes home.

            “Awww…  Toru.” I said, giving him a hug. 

            He laughed and hugged me back.  “Awww…  Mia Noona!” he said.  He pulled away from me and smiled down at me.  He whispered softly, “You need to eat more so then Lu Han Hyung won’t be worried about you.”

            I rolled my eyes.  “I am eating a bit more.” I said.  Toru rolled his eyes and headed towards the dressing room, shaking his head.

            PD Kim decided that since losing weight is hard in general, we were going to film all the scenes that my character is slimmer in first.  Then, I can ease my way up to being heavier to film the beginning and the ending.  We have filmed most of the scenes that I need to be fit in, so I have been able to eat a bit more lately.

            I pulled out my phone.  I unlocked it and found a text from Lu Han.

            Lu Han: Super stressed out right now.  I hope I do well on my finals.  Thank God your dad is being nice and is letting me off the hook from grading the pop quiz he gave his class yesterday.

            I smiled.  You’ll do fine, Lu Han, I thought.  I, then, began to worry about my own finals.  With the little time I had put into my schooling, I prayed that I will do good enough to pass.

            Mia: You’ll do fine.  You’ve always been the smart guy.  Just don’t stress out so much.

            I had to send that text to him the moment I read it.  If I waited, then I would forget about it.  That was a time that Lu Han needed the most support he can have and I should be there for him, regardless of how busy I was.  I wanted to hear his voice so badly…

            I slipped out of bed at the sound of my alarm.  I quickly changed out of my PJs into some sweats in the bone-chilling coldness.  I had asked PD Kim to let me take a week off to study for my finals.  Fortunately, he let me with one condition.  That I have to be able to film all the scenes I’m supposed to be in only 3 outtakes.  I didn’t mind since I had been neglecting my studies for such a long time.  I took my finals yesterday and finished with a boom, knowing that I would pass all of my online courses.

            As of the current situation I am in, I am waking up early to go over my lines.  Much to many people’s surprise, acting can be physically draining…  If I was able to go through my 4 scenes in 4 hours, then I’ll at least be able to rest for a bit before moving on with the rest of the cast.

            I quickly the light in the living room and sat on the cold wooden floor.  I was so glad that I went to sleep at 6 PM the night before.  I felt completely rested even though I was up 4 hours before our call time.

            You said that I won’t fit in?, I read in my mind.  I let out a scoff, as the script direct.  You don’t know who I am!  Just because I’m new doesn’t mean that I can’t learn…  This was the scene that my character confronted the trainee group she was placed in. 

            After going through that scene, I had to do one of the dance routines with the boys.  I took in a deep breath, as I tried to find the playlist for the movie.  I slipped my iPod into my bra as the music blasted into my ear.  I quickly stood in front of the body length mirror in the living room and got into position.

            The music cued and I started to move.  Over the last 11 months, my dancing skills have improved greatly.  I have become sharper and more comfortable with dancing.  Last weekend when we went over the dance routine again, Hyuk commented that I have improved the most out of everyone…  Well, I was the one that had no dancing skills at all.

            By the time I was done, I was sweating nonstop and breathing heavily.  I pull out one of the plugs out of my ear as I look into the mirror.  I know that Lu Han would cry if he saw my hair…  It was short and boyish now.  I know that he likes my hair long, but I had to do this for the movie.  It was only a wig, but I couldn’t bring myself to take a picture of my new hairstyle and sent it to Lu Han.  The wig was a full lace wig, looks completely natural, and long lasting.  I pushed the sweaty hair back as I sat down and stretched.  I looked back down at my script, getting ready for to practice the next scene.

            “Cut!” yelled PD Kim, after he filmed the last shot for the dance scene.

            The boys and I were breathing so hard in our sweat soaked clothes as we headed off the set.  I took in deed breathes: in through my nose, out through my mouth.  Satomi was handing us water bottles and I graciously took one silently.  The boys started to talk about something as I zoned out of their conversation.  We were all heading to the dressing room to change out into the clothes for the next scene.

            It was especially hard for me to breathe due to the compression shirt I have to wear to make me look more like a guy.  Unfortunately, even with my major weight loss my s were still unusually big…  So, the binding was tight.  I have practiced many times before with the compression shirt and it was fine, but today proved to be different.  I felt extremely tired as I entered the dressing room and took huge gulps of air.  The room quickly became dizzy and I bumped chaotically into the vanity mirror. I fell at it’s side.  Stylist Park was there and I was grateful for that. 

            “Mia!  Are you OK?!” she asked, as she came to my side.

            I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn’t.  All I wanted to do was breath. 

            “Oh my God!!” cried Stylist Park.  “Someone help me!!!  Someone help me!!!”

            I tried to pull off my sweat soaked t shirt, but my hand and body was shaking so much.  I heard Stylist Park let out a cry as she helped me.  She was still yelling for help when I heard a more husky voice rang throughout the room.  My vision became blurry and then darkness welcomed me.

            There’s still one more scene to film, I thought.  I can’t go back to sleep yet…

            I remember waking up and having the full capability to breath.  I was on my back and on something comfortable.  I opened my eyes to find myself staring at the white ceiling above me.  I shifted to sat up and felt my right arm was slightly lame.  I turned to look and there was an IV attached to my arm.  I looked up and there was a saline drip on the other end.  I leaned back into the hospital bed, feeling defeated.  I could feel my eyes start to water, feeling bad that I had let down the production team and, most of all, my costars.

            “You were so dehydrated.” said a voice, startling me.

            Of course I was…  I didn’t want to delay the filming any farther if I keep on asking for water and bathroom breaks…  I swallowed hard and turned to face the person sitting at my side.  It was Jaeyong.  He was literally the main cast's manager, always tending to our needs and making sure we’re fine.

            “I’m sorry.” I croaked.

            Jaeyong smiled and shook his head.  “It’s alright.” he said.  “PD Kim regrets that he had put so much pressure everyone and especially you for missing out on the filming last week…  He said that it’s best if we all take a break this upcoming week.”

            I shook my head as tears rolled down the side of my face.  “It’s OK.  He only wanted us to be on schedule.” I said.

            I sat up in the bed as I looked around the huge hospital room.  There were many other people there for whatever reason they were there for.  Some had saline drips too, but others didn’t and I watched them sleep.  I looked down at myself and I was in a hospital gown.   After knowing, where I was for sure, I laid back down.

            “So, are the others at home?” I asked.

            “Yes, they are.  They were here, watching over you while PD Kim and I talked.” explained Jaeyong.

            “What time is it?” I asked.

            “10 PM.” replied Jaeyong, handing me my phone.  “Lu Han has been calling you 3 times already…  And, now that you’re awake I think you can go home now.”

            I nodded my head as he stood up to go talk to the nurse.  I quickly looked down at my phone to find my missed calls from Lu Han and I could feel my eyes water.  As soon as I swallowed the lump in my throat, he called for the 4^th time.  I quickly wiped the tears away as I answered.

            “Lu Han?” I asked.

            “Mia~” I could hear him smile.

            As much as I wanted to hold in my tears, I started to cry.  “Lu Han.” I called out his name, softly.

            “Mia, what’s wrong?” he asked, with a worried tone.

            I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what happened or where I was.  I know that he would speed over here in a heartbeat and I didn’t want that…  Even though I wanted to see him so badly, I didn’t him to see me in the condition I was.  I didn’t want my family and him to be worry about me.

            “Nothing…” I replied, feeling the rough material of the bed sheets.  “I just miss you a lot.”

            “I miss you a lot too, Mia.” I heard him say in the softest tone.  “I miss you so much.”

            I started crying again and swallowed hard.  “I wanted to hear your voice so much, Lu Han.” I hiccupped.

            “And, I want to see you.” he said.  “I want to kiss you and hold you all night long…”

            I assumed that Mason must not be in the same room he was in because he was talking about being “physical” with me.  That stupid brother of mine would definitely be teasing Lu Han and I by now.

            “I want to kiss you too.” I said, as waterfalls came down from my eyes.  “And, I want to hug you to death…”

            I could hear Lu Han laughed light heartedly on the other end as I looked up.  Jaeyong was standing by the foot of the bed, with a frown.  I swallowed hard as I was caught red handed.  I sniffed as my mind tuned into Lu Han’s voice.

            “You said that you might finish filming by the time January rolls by, right?” he asked.  “I’m thinking about spending Christmas here in Korea so we can be together…”

            I smiled softly, avoiding Jaeyong’s stare.  “That’s really sweet of you, Lu Han.” I said.  “I have to go back now…  So, I’ll talk to you soon.”

            “Of course.” he said, with a light voice.  “Bye.  I love you, Mia.”

            I could feel my heart beat faster as I took in what he said.  What?!, I thought as I smiled like a mad woman.

            “Lu-” I started.

            “Goodbye, Mia!” he said, quickly. 

            Before I could say anything, I heard him hang up.  I started to laugh lightly as Jaeyong handed me a cup of warm water.  I glanced up at him as I took a sip.  He let out a long sigh.

            “I didn’t know that Lu Han is your boyfriend.” he stated, as he crossed his arms across his chest.

            I continued to drink the warm water, being thirsty and all.  “I’m sorry.” I said, as my smile fell.

            The main cast wasn’t supposed to have any romantic relationships because it may ruin the promotion of the movie.  It wasn’t on the contract, but it was expected by PD Kim and Jaeyong.  The group has been protecting Lu Han and I by only asking questions about him in the dorms or whispering to me on set with anything regarding him.  They never talk out loud about my boyfriend to anyone else…  But, it seems that I was the one that blew my own cover.

            “Did you tell him about what we expect of you?” he asked, as the nurse came into the room.

            “Mia, you can be discharged now.” she smiled. 

            After taking the IV out and changing the gown into the clothes that the girls bought for me, Jaeyong took me home.  I could tell that he was mad and I hoped that he wasn’t going to kill me because of my relationship status.  He shook his head as we came to a stop light.  The atmosphere in the car was tense and it was dead silent.

            “As much as I hate to say this, Mia…  But, you’re going to have to break up with Lu Han.” he said. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

            I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!  ^^

            Poor Mia.  She’s going through so much and now they’re asking her to break up with Lu Han?!  That’s just cruel!  L

            And…  Lu Han said that he loves her.  LOL  So random…  Sorry for that.

LOVE,

loveFORyunho