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            After my dance practice with Hyuk on Saturday, I was tired as always.  Regardless, I was excited because I was going to go shopping!  I probably haven’t stepped into the mall ever since I came back from China…  And, that was 2 months ago!

            I wanted to buy some guy shirts to sweat in when I’m practicing dancing…  Then, maybe some makeup as well too?  Well, hopefully my wallet will be able to sustain my makeup junkie lifestyle.

            Also, the exciting thing is that Lu Han and I are going to go with Seohyun as well too.  I have been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to really hang out with her.  If anything, I want to ditch Lu Han and go shopping like crazy. 

            Seohyun was super stylish.  She was wearring a peachy orange spring dress with a pair of pumps and a black sling purse.  She made me want to do a double take…  And, I’m straight!  Seohyun also made me look down at myself, in disgust.

            I was wearing a dirty t-shirt that needed to be washed and a pair of yoga capri pants.  I had a pair of flip flops on and I didn’t care about bringing a purse.  My wallet was in my messanger bag, so I just grabbed that.  It was quite obvious that I didn’t care about dressing up that day at all.  Even my hair was still wet from my afternoon shower and I didn’t even bother to put on makeup.

             I looked up and rolled my eyes.  “How fantastic…” I whispered to myself, as Lu Han drove away from the dorms.

            We got to the mall in 15 minutes.  As much as I wanted to run into the mall with my tired, sore legs, I patiently waited for the couple.  Lu Han and Seohyun looked good together…  And, I was surprised that I never noticed that before.  They looked like the perfect couple with their beautiful baby faces and lean model-like bodies.  And, there I was…  Trailing behind them like some ugly, lost, and dirty puppy.  Even people were throwing me looks when we entered the mall as if I was stalking the heavenly couple in front of me. 

            I felt completely out of place with the two.

            Seohyun turned to Lu Han with a smile and said something I couldn’t hear.  She pulled him into a store and he followed behind.  He looked over his shoulder at me and I just shrugged.  I didn’t care what stores they went into.  Our mall was pretty small…  But, it was fancy and expensive with brand names.  There were a few cheaper stores there, but those choices are limited.  So, most of BYU students go to the few cheaper shops downtown. 

            Regardless, I didn’t care whether these stores were too expensive for me.  I got to go to the mall and look at things.  I wasn’t at home, trying to read my textbooks and doing my homework.

            Seohyun walked over to the women’s side of the store as soon as we entered the store.  Meanwhile, I headed towards the men’s side.  I wanted new t-shirts and that’s what I will do before I spend my money on other things.  My parents gave me some money, but I wanted to spend money on what is the most important first.

            There were a few folded shirts on a stand.  I the material.  It was soft and cotton, which was exactly what I was looking for.  I held up the black shirt and stared at the graphic tee.  There was the face of a growling tiger as if it was going to attack.  I smiled.  I liked it because I know that if I get this shirt, it will symbolize my perserverance with learning how to dance.  I didn’t want to give up easily and want to keep my doubt at bay, like how the tiger may be keeping intruders at bay.

            I quickly looked at the price tag and frowned.  It was too expensive for me to even consider it.  So, I quickly folded it nicely and placed it back on on the stand.  I was browsing around at other things when I saw Lu Han.

            He smiled at me.  “You’re not getting anything?” he asked.

            “No.” I said, shaking my head.  “Everything is expensive.”

            “It’s OK.” said Lu Han.  “I’ll buy you something.” 

            I shook my head.  He scoffed as he grabbed my elbow.  “I saw a dress that would look great on you.” he said, as he pulled me up to a pretty red floral dress.

            I pointed to the dress.  “Are you sure?” I asked.

            “Yeah!” said Lu Han, with a smile.  “It’ll go great with the shoes I got you for Christmas. By the way, I haven’t seen you worn them…”

            “I don’t have an occasion to wear those shoes to!” I explained myself. 

            Lu Han shrugged, as he grabbed a dress off of the rack.  He placed the dress up against my body and nodded.  He placed the dress up against my body and nodded.

            “You can wear it at home.” he suggested.  He quickly pulled out his wallet.

            I gave him a look as he handed me some money.  “I could at least try it first.” I said.

            Lu Han gave me a look.  “Seohyun is trying out some clothes…” he said.  “Besides, if the dress doesn’t fit you, we can exchange it tomorrow.”

            What did that even mean?  So what if Seohyun was trying out clothes.  I didn’t care.  I would’ve cared less if I didn’t get the dress.  For a split second, I was sad that Lu Han said that to me.  Did he not want her to see how he treats me or what?

            Since I wanted to get the dress after all, I gave in.  On my way to the cash registar, I grabbed a few accessories here and there.  I looked over at Lu Han, afraid that he was going to be mad at me.  Surprisingly, he just smiled at me.  I shrugged, not really caring.

            By the time I paid for the things I got, Seohyun emerged from the dressing room.  She didn’t bring anything out with, which meant that she wasn’t going to get anything.  “Sunbae, what did you got?” she asked, with a smile.

            “That red dress.” I said, as I pointed it out.

            “It’s so cute!” said Seohyun, as Lu Han appraoched us.  “But, it won’t look good on me…  It’s made for busty people like you because you actually have clevage to show.”  She gave me a wink.  “You’re trying to get a boyfriend, huh?”

            I just blinked.  “Uh…  No.” I replied, meekly.

            Seohyun laughed as she patted me on the shoulder.  “Oh, Sunbae!  You’ll look so y in it.” she commented.

            What the hell?, I thought.  Was that dress even that y?

            Seohyun led us out as we exited the store.  I quickly gave Lu Han a disgusted face.  He just shook his head. 

            He mouthed, “It looked good.”

            I just threw him a look and pushed him to his girlfriend.

            I watched as Lu Han poured Seohyun a cup of tea.  We were at a restaurant, getting dinner.  He was so sweet to her like how a good boyfriend should be, which actually amazed me.  He would open doors for her and had even bought her a surprised gift from one of the shops we were browsing in.  Lu Han is a good guy, but knowing how many girlfriends he did had made me question what type of boyfriend he really was.  Now I know.

            Maybe they just got bored of each other and break up?, I thought.  I wouldn’t know.  I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I wouldn’t even know how a relationship begin in the first place.

            As far as I’m aware in the current situation I’m in with the couple, I didn’t even exist.  Lu Han and Seohyun had barely paid any attention to me.  They were in their own little world and I just got dragged along.  Even the waitress seemed to have pity me.  She gave me an apologetic look when she tried to ask them what they would like to order.  I just smiled back, letting it go.

            A lot of people say that friends tend to change when they get into a relationship…  I wonder if this is what they mean, I thought.  I wonder if I’ll become like this if I get a boyfriend one day.

            I wanted to walk away, knowing how I didn’t like being a third wheel.  I really wanted to frown, but I know that it would make the couple question me.  But, most of all, I didn’t like how Lu Han treated me.  I felt like he completely ignored me whenever he was with Seohyun.  And, whenever she leaves, he would return to his normal self again…  As if he was a two-faced person or something.

            Lu Han smiled at me as soon as Seohyun headed towards the restroom.  “Mia, you seem a bit quiet today.  Are you OK?” he asked.

            I blinked at him.  Are you serious?, I thought.  Whenever you and Seohyun talk, you don’t even glance my way…  Even when I tried to chime into the conversation, you would simply ignore me. Do you expect me to talk to myself this whole entire time? 

            “I’m just tired.” I replied, slowly.

            Lu Han nodded.  “It’s been a long day for you.” he said.  “Let’s go home after we eat so you can rest…  Sorry for taking you out for so long.”

            Don’t worry, I blindly volunteered myself into this, I thought.  I should’ve known that it was going to be a very longday, especially if you were picking up Seohyun.

            “No, it’s OK.” I said.  “I’ll just walk home.”

            “Oh, OK.” replied Lu Han, with a nod. 

            It pained me to know that he didn’t really care.  I was also surprised that Lu Han was actually a bit excited about the suggestion.  He’s usually the caring type and to have him just simply say that made me sad.  I can’t believe that Lu Han didn’t even bother to make sure if I was really OK with the idea, I thought.

            Seohyun came back within a few seconds.  As she distracted Lu Han, I texted Kris.  Me:  Is Lu Han a careless friend with a girlfriend?  Knowing that Kris probably won’t reply anytime soon, I glanced out the windows.  It was getting darker and darker by the moment.  I swallowed hard, realizing that I will be walking in the dark.

            As I waited for the food to come, I desperately wanted someone to become my savior.  I wanted someone to have an emergency and need me there…  I was hoping that Heawoo, Eunsung or Minyu would suddenyly have boy problems.  Or, that some guy from school saw me and asked me to go hang out with him.  Or, my parents…  Or, even, Mason calling me to catch up with me. 

            Unfortunately, no one came to save me.  The food came.  I ate it without registering the flavors of the meal.  And, then, I quickly excused myself.  It was like breath of fresh air the moment I walked out of the restaurant.  I could finally fully enjoy myself, regardless of being alone in the dark.  It was a nice, cool breezy night as I headed home.

            Halfway home, I received a text from Kris.  Kris: Not really.  He makes sure that he gives his girlfriend and I the same amount of attention.  Lu Han isn’t the type to be completely lost in his own little world with his girlfriend.  Why?  I frowned.

            What in the world does that mean?, I thought.  Why does he treat me differently from Kris?  Didn’t he say that I was his best friend?

            I felt my eyes burned, as I texted Kris.  Me: Do you know that he has a girlfriend now?

            Kris: Yeah.  He told me everything about her.  It seems like he’s crazy about her.  I’m sorry if he’s being an to you…  Lu Han only knows how to court girls, not be friends with them like how a good friend is supposed to be.

            I felt tears rolled down my face.  I was frustrated at Lu Han.  It was true.  He really did only know how to play around with girls, not be friends with him.  Was that why he was always so touchy, feely?, I thought.  Am I just some girl that he stuck himself to and called me a friend because he needed a female companion, whoever the hell she is?

            I heard myself let out a cry.  I stopped under the street light to wipe my tears.  The streets were quiet and empty.  I could hear myself start sobbing.  Damn Lu Han, I hate you, I thought.  I felt used.  The only reason why he called me his best friend was because I’m a readily available girl.  If he needed that female interaction, he would turn to me…  That’s probably why he keeps on slipping into my bed at night.  God!  It’s not even true friendship.

            I felt my phone vibrate and quickly looked at it.  Darn Lollipop was calling me and I ignored it.  I continued to walk, as a lump formed in my throat.  I wanted to cry so much.  My vision was so blurry from my tears that I had to double check if I the right street to go home. 

            Once inside, my parents were in the living room, watching a Korean sitcom.  They were too distracted to notice that I was home, so I quietly slid upstairs.  I didn’t want to talk to them.  I was too scared that if I tried to utter a word that I would burst out crying instead.  I didn’t want them to worry or question Lu Han about his motives regarding our friendship.

            As soon as the shower head went off, I cried.  I sobbed softly, just in case Lu Han did come home early.  I didn’t want him to hear me crying in the shower.  When I got out of the shower, I quickly put on some acne medication and moisturizer.  Then, hit the hay. 

            I could still feel my warm tears fall down the side of my face as I lay in bed.  I wanted to fall asleep so badly, but I knew that I couldn’t with the crying.  I didn’t want to hear Lu Han’s voice or see his face.  I wanted to forget about him and go into dreamland.  But, I couldn’t.

            I couldn’t stop crying.  And, I couldn’t believe that I was crying over Lu Han.

Author’s Note:

            I hope that you guys enjoyed that chapter.  ^^

            Was it predictable that I made Mia cried in this chapter?

LOVE,

loveFORyunho