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            As I was walking out of music class, I bumped into Jinsang in the hallway.  “Oh, Mia!” he said, as he turned around to talk to me.

            “Yeah?” I asked.

            “When you have time, go pick up the script from Dr. Lee.  We start rehearsing next week.” he reminded me.  I nodded my head.  “By the way, your audition was amazing.”

            I flashed him a confused look.  “What I meant was the improvised part.” said Jinsang.  “I could totally tell that you were feeling the character.  The reasons why you were placed as a supporting role was because your vocals are a bit weak and Eunmi felt that you were much better fitting for supporting role.  She said that the improvised act you did was very strong and Boyoung is on the softer side.  You fitted the role of Boyoung’s friend, Miyoung.”

            I nodded my head.  As long as I don’t have the pressure of being the star of the show, then I don’t really mind, I thought.

            “I heard that Haerin is having trouble with the closing song.” I said, cautiously.  “I was wondering if I could help her.”

            Jinsang smiled.  “Of course.” he said.  “She already composed the 4 songs that she needed to, but it’s hard for her to find a good love song for the last scene.  Just email her.”

            I nodded my head.  Maybe I could help,  I thought.

            I was sitting in front of the piano at home.  Haerin had given me permission to look or compose a song for the last scene.  Obviously, I had decided to compose a song to challenge myself.   At the end of the musical, Boyoung and Taehyun are forced to go their separate ways. 

            I feel like telling Haerin about the song I heard from the movie, but I didn’t want to at the same time.  I want to challenge myself.  As a inspiring composer, I can’t just compose music out of the blue for something like this.  I have to feel moved orinspired by something.  How am I going to do this?

            I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and opened them again.  I wouldn’t know how it would feel like to go through a breakup, but to imagine how it feels like to lose someone you love…, I thought.  I placed my hands on the piano keys and started to play randomly.

            What if something happened to Mason?  He’s so far away…  What if he gets into a freak accident and dies?, I thought, trying to extract the rawest form of emotions that I could.  I could feel my eyes burn.  No…  Mason won’t die like that.

            I listened closely to the notes I was playing.  The music was solemn, dark, and depressing.  I stopped playing and quickly jotted down the notes that I played.  What happens to Xu Xian after Susu is gone?, I thought.  Does he really try to stay by her side?  Or, does he move on with life like the majority?

            “I will try to stay by your side for as long as I can.” I singed, softly.  Dad and Mom were home, but they were busy grading midterms.  “To never to be able to see you again in this lifetime is agonizing~  To be in love with the beautiful white snake maiden is  both painful and a beautiful love story at the same time~”

            I stopped and quickly jotted down the new notes and the lyrics that I sung softly.

            “To be in love with a human is a painful and beautiful love story at the same time~  Is there such a thing as eternal love?  How about reincarnation?  Or the after life?  Are they real?” I continued to sing, as I closed my eyes.  I was letting my emotions play the music and sing the song.  “I want to love you in another life time since I wasn’t able to as who I am now.  I pray that we will be able to be reborn to finish our beautiful love story~  May mother nature hear my words…”

            I wrote down the notes and lyrics again, to keep track of what I said.

            “To be in love with the beautiful white snake maiden is a painful and beautiful love story at the same time~  To be in love with a human is both painful and a beautiful love story at the same time~  A life time is only a 100 years, I will be able to wait for you…  I’ll wait for our reincarnation for to live out our fairytale.

            “Love is never wrong, only who we were born to be is wrong.  A human and a demon can never be together.  To be in love with each other is a painful and beautiful love story at the same time.  We will be reborn to finish our love story.” I finished.

            I quickly wrote down all the notes and the lyrics.  I wanted to record it with my real singing, but Dad wouldn’t appreciate it.  Regardless, I smiled at my music score.  It was messy, but it didn’t matter.  It has taken me a week to completely come up with a song, but I did it within 4 hours.  I was proud of myself.

            I quickly decided to play the song again, without singing this time.

            I handed Dad a bowl of rice and he graciously took it.  I was filling up Lu Han’s bowl when Dad decided to comment on something.

            “So, I heard you playing your piano earlier.” he said.

            I nodded my head, as I handed the rice bowl to Lu Han.  “Of course.” I said, as I quickly filled up Mom’s bowl.  Dad nodded his head.  “How much more midterms do you guys need to grade?”

            “Too many.” laughed Dad.

            “Exactly.” said Mom, as I sat down with my rice bowl.  “How were midterms for you kids?”

            “They were fine.” replied Lu Han, the genius that was sitting next to me.

            “Stressful, but good.  I’m sure I did good.” I said, as I ate a spoonful of rice.

            “I saw Dr. Lee today.” said Dad.

            I felt myself tense up.  Dr. Lee and Mom work in the same department.  She knows about my role in the musical, but Dad doesn’t.  He’s not the type to be encouraging about things like that anyways.  That’s why I don’t bother telling him anything.

            “You’re going to be in the musical now?” he asked, angry.  I nodded my head and swallowed hard.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            “Sweetie, stop it.” said Mom.  Dad glanced at her.

            “Honey, this is the time to talk about this.” he said.  “I’ve been raging about this for far too long.”

            Before I could defend myself, Dad quickly added more.  “And, now you’re composing a song too?  For that musical?  Are you serious?!  You are a freshman, the audience will criticize you!  You’re not good enough!  Last but not least, why do you tell everyone, but me?!”

            I was angry, as I stood up.  “Dad!  Don’t act like I’ve never tried!!  You’ve never supported me and my musical aspirations!  You’ve never came to any of my choir recitals during high school unless if it was a music recital!” I defended.  “You’ve never cared so why should you start now?!”

            “Mia, your father loves you!” said Mom.

            “It’s because I am your father!” Dad replied.  “I have a right to know what you are doing with your life!”

            “It’s not like you care!” I quickly said.

            “You are throwing your life away because you are trying to be with men that will never know you exist!!” said Dad, regarding my KPOP idols.  “Why can’t you just want to have a traditional normal job like the rest of society?!”

            “Sweetie!  Stop it!!” said Mom, angry.  She quickly stood up and came to my side.  She placed her arm around my waist as I stared at Dad.

            There was a lump in my throat.  Had Dad always thought all along that I was doing this to get closer to idols?  Does he not see my passion, love, and dedication to music?  Where did I ever send off those wrong messages?  Have we really become this distant from each other that my dad does not even really know who I am?

            I let out a cry.  “You don’t understand.” I said, softly.  Tears were blurring my vision as I glanced over at Mom and Lu Han.  The baby face was sitting there uncomfortably and I quickly turned back to Dad.  “I knew it!!  You don’t understand my love, passion, and dedication to music!!  You think that I want to become a composer because I want to be with KPOP idols?!!  No!!  I’ve decided to become a composer because I want to!!”

            Dad was about to say something when I interrupted him.  “God, I am so freaking sorry that I am not who you want me to be, Dad.” I said, as I felt tears running down my cheeks.  “I am so sorry that I’m not the pharmaceutical researcher or doctor or business woman or daughter that you want me to be!! 

            “I am sorry that I fell in love with music and abandoned your ideals of me to major in music performance with an emphasis on composing!!  I am sorry that I’m not like Mason or, even, Lu Han majoring in accounting or business!!  Dad, I am sorry for who I really am.”

            I was breathless when I was done with my rant.  Dad just sat there, staring at me.  I didn’t want to look at him anymore.  I quickly bolted out of the dining room.

            “Mia!” said Mom, as I ran upstairs.

Author’s Note:

            Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!  ^^  That was quite emotional...

LOVE,

loveFORyunho