Mixed Feelings

Is This Real?

 I giggled even more but stopped when Jung Hoon oppa knocked on the door and entered the room.

 

“Yah, Cho Kyuyun! Are you crazy? Stop provoking new antis or negative comments. There are already enough people who don't approve of your relationship and are jealous. We already had one incident and we don't need another one!”

 

“What did I do now?”, Kyuhyun exclaimed.

 

“How about the Twitter account? I know you two are now in a phase where you are alL over each other and are cheesy and what do I know but please... be a little more rational and think before you do something. You are at the moment the focus of the media and Soomin-ah is not a public person so keep it low”, Jung Hoon scolded Kyuhyun.

 

“Mianhaeyo, oppa. Don't scold Kyu that much. It's my fault as well. We'll keep it cool now. I'll Only use that Twitter account to keep in touch with them because I don't wanna use my private account and the boys might wanna give some fanservice. And I promise that we will be cheesy and..... yeah you know what in our private messages or over the phone”, I said.

 

“And I won't show her off anymore. I let my feelings go crazy but I will control that from now on. Mianhaeyo, hyung”, Kyuhyun said sheepishly.

 

“You better behave because I can't guarantee that the label will keep quiet about your behaviour and I bet soon enough they will say something because you two are too troublesome these days”, Jung Hoon sighed.

 

“Got it, hyung. There is only half a day left anyway before we leave again.... Sadly.”

 

“Yeah, that as well. I hope you'll cool down because right now you're too heated up.”

 

“Oppa~”, I whined embarrassed.

 

“What? It's true. Don't think that only the members noticed how you two act around each other because I did as well. And please, if you wanna do something or really can't stop yourself, make sure that you are alone and can't get caught, okay? And please no kids yet. You are too young, Soomin-ah.”

 

“What the hell, hyung. Why does everyone thing that it's their business to know what my baby girl and I do or not do. Seriously, that's so irritating”, Kyuhyun complained.

 

“Well you are the youngest plus you are the only one who revealed his relationship so we elders have to look after you. That's life, little one, so bear with it”, Jung Hoon said and smirked after he had finished.

 

“Tsk. That's only your excuse to tease and annoy us”, Kyuhyun growled.

 

“I don't need an excuse for that. If I wanted to tease you, I'd just do it. But now I need to go and check everything for tomorrow. Behave... both of you”, Jung Hoon chuckled and left.

 

“Gosh, what's up with everyone lately... As if they have nothing better to do than tease us. Sure we are the youngest but that doesn't mean that they can be like that”, Kyuhyun kept complaining.

 

“Calm down, oppa. They are worried about us. It irritates me as well but we can't do anything about it. So we better be grateful that we have people who look after us”, I said and sat on his lap, facing him.

 

“I know but...”

 

“No buts. We're allowed to be together and don't even have to hide our relationship. We should appreciate everything we have and can do so stop complaining. And now let's ask the others what they want to do tonight.”

 

“Can't we just stay here?”

 

“And do what?”

 

“Cuddle? And watch a movie?”

 

“Awww, my boyfriend is so romantic right now”, I teased.

 

“First of all, you like that and secondly... are you indicating that you want to do..... other stuff?”

 

“Noo...... But I thought that we ALL could spent some time together before we depart. I mean we won't see each other for quite a while and yeah.”

 

“Okay, fine... Then let's find the others.”

 

I got up from Kyuhyun's lap and went to the door. Kyuhyun opened it and grabbed my hand. We walked towards Leeteuk's room where we met him and Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk saw us and immediately smirked because we had left earlier.

 

“Oh so you two finished it?”, he asked.

 

“What the... Jung Hoon hyung was there to..... scold us”, Kyuhyun said slightly embarrassed.

 

“Uh, huh, scold you. For doing what? Getting our little Soomin pregnant?”

 

“Oppa! We didn't do it yet, for god's sake. Will you all just stop talking about that? Seriously, it's none of you business what we do and don't do when we are alone”, I whined.

 

“You two are a public couple, so it is our business if you get pregnant.”

 

“Lee Hyukjae, I'm nineteen and will finish school and want to study then. I'm not ready for a child and Kyu and I won't be careless in that case so stop worrying about me getting pregnant.”

 

“I'm just saying”, Eunhyuk chuckled.

 

“Anyways, how comes you two are here?”, Leeteuk wanted to know.

 

“I thought we all should spent now as much time as we can together because we all have our flight back tomorrow”, I explained.

 

“Awww, how sweet. And you don't want to spend time together?”

 

“I tried to make her spend time with only me but... she convinced me that this is better... not really but I didn't want to have a fight over such a small thing especially because of tomorrow”, Kyuhyun explained.

 

“Ohooo, our Kyuhyunnie is being a good boyfriend and maknae. What a surprise. Soomin-ah, you should move in so you keep him under control”, Eunhyuk said playfully.

 

“What?! She deserves a good boyfriend while you don't deserve a good maknae! Tsk... Hyung if you treat me better, I'll treat you better.”

 

“What are you talking about? When do we not treat you good?”

 

“How about the teasing lately?”

 

“Oh please, that's not teasing. We only worry about unexpected pregnancy”, Eunhyuk chuckled.

 

“So........ what will we do?”, I sighed, wanting to change the subject.

 

“How about ordering something to drink and just talk this night?”, Leeteuk suggested.

 

“Oh that's a nice idea”, I replied.

 

“Okay, then we'll gather everyone here. Hyukjae, get the others, I will check out where we can stay so you can order something to drink, Kyuhyunnie.”

 

We all nodded and prepared everything to have a nice night. When everything was set, we sat in a circle, me sitting between Kyuhyun's legs and cuddled up into his chest. We talked about everything we had in mind but then I noticed that Siwon was trying to take a photo of me being cuddled up to Kyuhyun and when he saw me glaring at him, he just smiled innocently. At around 4 a.m. we all went to bed because we had to prepare our flight back in some hour and drive to the airport.

 

Vicky and I woke up when we heard knocks on our door. Jung Hoon had come to wake us up so we got dressed and started to put everything into our bags. Slowly but surely my mood went down, knowing that I wouldn't be able to be close to Kyuhyun for some months. Vicky noticed that as well because I was really quiet, but she knew that I wouldn't cheer up anytime soon. We met the others to eat something before before we had to leave. Kyuhyun was less bubbly as well, making it even more obvious that we both wouldn't be happy about the next few hours, days and months.

 

Soon we had to leave to the airport and the closer we got there the more quiet were Kyuhyun and I. The guys had booked a flight three hours later so they could bring us to our terminal and after we had left they would drive to their terminal. Vicky and I still had to wait for a while until we were able to get rid of our bags but once that happened I grabbed Kyuhyun's hand and went somewhere else.

 

“Kyu.....”, I started but didn't know what to say.

 

“Princess, let's try to see this in a positive way. Somehow”,Kyuhyun said, wrapping his arms around me.

 

“How? I know we'll see each other again and hopefully soon but from today until then I won't feel you physically”, I said sadly.

 

“Feel me physically? I hope you know that that is... well naughty”, Kyuhyun chuckled, lifting up my chin.

 

“.......... you ert. I meant cuddling and kissing”, I stuttered with a blush creeping on my face.

 

“So you won't miss me touching some certain places? Oh but wait.... Kissing? Kissing where?”, Kyuhyun teased.

 

“..... oh shut up. As if you wouldn't miss me sitting on your lap... grinding... while exploring what you hide under those damn attractive shirts”, I teased back.

 

“Oh I will miss that. And you being a mess after me kissing your thighs and cleavage...”

 

“O-oh... y-you really like that, huh?”, I replied,blushing even more.

 

Kyuhyun pressed me towards his body, his hands dangerously low on my back. I gasped surprised which made Kyuhyun smirk playfully and then he kissed me. It reminded of my last day in Korea. The kiss was even more passionate than back then. I don't know what came over me but I teared up. When my tears started to fall down, Kyuhyun pulled away to look at me.

 

“Princess, don't cry. We'll see each other soon”, he assured me while whipping away my tears.

 

“I know... I just... Everything came up and it was just so much that I suddenly felt my tears fall down. I don't know what suddenly came over me”, I stuttered.

 

“Oh, cupcake. Let's depart with a smile on our faces so it'll be less hard", Kyuhyun replied and hugged me tightly.

 

I smiled weakly while leaning onto him.

 

“I'm gonna miss you, Kyu.”

 

“I'm gonna miss you more, Princess. Let's go back so you can say goodbye to the others.”

 

I nodded and clinged myself to my boyfriend while going back. When we got there I hugged them all tightly, still trying not to tear up again. Sungmin was the last person I needed to hug and he hugged me gently.

 

“Sweety, please don't cry when you go. I know you don't know this but last time you had to go Kyuhyun was down for over a week, barely eating anything and he tried to hide that he cried himself to sleep but I heard him. He felt like he was being a bad boyfriend for putting you through this. I know I'm asking for much but don't cry”, Sungmin whispered.

 

I nodded in trance, shocked about the news. It made me realize how much Kyuhyun was pressuring himself to be a good boyfriend. I went to him one last time and kissed him gently, smiling when pulling away.

 

“I'll visit you this summer”, I said.

 

“I'll be waiting and counting the seconds till you arrive.”

 

“Woah, the cheesiness. Don't overdo it”, I giggled which made Kyuhyun chuckle.

 

Then Vicky and I went towards the gate but turned around one last time to wave before disappearing. I saw Sungmin comforting Kyuhyun a little which made me worry once again. When we were in the airplane I couldn't help it anymore and started to cry. It startled Vicky first but she comforted me. The flight was rather silent after I had calmed down because we both were lost in thoughts. I kept wondering when I would see my boyfriend again. After a few more hours we landed in an airport in Germany and Vicky immediately checked the news again.

 

“Oh, fans asked him about you at the airport”, Vicky reported.

 

“What did he say?”, I asked.

 

“Nothing much. Just that you went back home. And from the photos he seems kinda down.”

 

“Thought so. He tried to show me that our departure wouldn't affect him that much but I know him well enough to see when he is lying or faking something.”

 

“Hey, Pat Pat.. I know it's hard but please don't let it affect you that much. We still have our finals next week and Kyu wouldn't want that you ness them up because of him.”

 

“I know... I just can't help it. I try not to think too much about it but once I think about Kyu I start to worry. Sungmin told me how down Kyuhyun was the last time and I don't want that to happen again.”

 

“Sungmin did what?! Gosh, there was no need to make you worry more. But try to focus on the finals to make Kyuhyun and his parents proud.”

 

“....... Y-yeah”, I replied suddenly embarrassed.

 

“What? Why are you now embarrassed?”

 

“It's just that Kyu said that I will meet his parents this summer. And I'm kinda nervous.”

 

“How comes? Don't tell me it's because they are teachers.”

 

“........... It is. What if they think I'm not good enough ?”

 

“They trust him or else his father would have done something about him being a singer long ago. I'm sure they'll like you.”

 

“I hope so. But now I need to focus on my finals.”

 

“That's it”, Vicky chuckled and patted my shoulder.

 

On our drive back home we told Vicky's mum about some events that had happened in Paris because she had asked us about our trip. Once I got home I went to bed to rest a bit but not without texting Kyuhyun that I had arrived well as well as informing my unnie about my arrival. Then I changed into something comfortable and drifted into a restless sleep.

 

I woke up with a bad feeling that something had happened. I quickly decided to check the news and what I read shocked me. I read everywhere that the plane in which Kyuhyun and the others had been in crashed down after some hours. I tried to find out how many people had survived, tears starting to fall down my face. Desperately I tried to reach any of the members and Jung Hoon but no one picked up their phone. I started to worry more and more so I called Vicky. She picked up the phone and I immediately asked, if she had heard about the accident. When she was about to reply I got a call.... by Sungmin. I told Vicky to wait for a while so I could answer Sungmin's call.

 

“Oppa, I just heard of the accident. Do you know what happened? Is someone hurt?”

 

“Soomin-ah, we got hurt a bit here and there but basically we are fine.”

 

“Basically?”

 

“Kyuhyunnie....”

 

“What happened to him?”, I squeaked.

 

“He's.... he didn't survive it......”

 

“Wh-what? N-no..... n-no, this can't be....”

 

“I'm sorry, sweetheart.”

 

“No..... no, oppa... Tell me this is a joke... Please”, I begged.

 

“I would love to do that but it's true”, Sungmin said while sobbing.

 

When I heard him cry, I lost it. I hung up and started to cry. Vicky heard it and asked what happened. I told her about the news and she gasped. Then I hung up again and broke down. I wanted to be alone. I couldn't bear a ' I'm sorry' at the moment. I just wanted Kyuhyun to be alive. I got up and took the care key. I had to drive somewhere to try thinking straight. I drove for a while, not really caring about my surroundings. Then I suddenly heard a loud noise and then.....

 

I really woke up, panting, with cold sweat on my face and my eyes filled with tears. I immediately grabbed my phone and checked the news. Luckily there were no news of an accident but no message as well. Half an hour later I called Vicky to tell her about my dream. While talking I started to tear up again and when Vicky heard my sobs, she told me to calm down because it only had been a dream. After the call I waited for the next few hours to read something about Super Junior's arrival in Korea. I was about to fall asleep once again when I got a call via Line.

 

“Princess?”, Kyuhyun asked softly.

 

“Oh my god, you arrived safely”, I breathed out.

 

“What the... What's wrong, cupcake? You seem stressed out.”

 

“Bad dream. I dreamt that you guys had a plane crash and that you didn't make it. So I lost it and had a car accident.... It felt so real”, I whispered.

I heard nothing for a while.

“Baby? Are you still there?”, I asked, feeling worried.

 

“Yeah. You need to promise me one thing”, he said cautiously.

 

“What? Why are you being like this now?”

 

“You need to promise me that even if something happens to me, you have to go on. Please..... I couldn't forgive myself if it would affect your life that much that you would provoke to end it....”

 

“Kyuhyun.....”

 

“Promise me.....”

 

“Only if you promise the same”, I whispered.

 

“Fine by me.”

 

“Okay.... I miss you...”

 

“Oh cupcake. It hasn't been that long.”

 

“I know but still. And since when do you call me cupcake?”

 

“What? You don't like it? You are sweet and cute like a cupcake. And you are my cupcake. My special cupcake.”

 

“Oh my boyfriend is being cheesy again”, I giggled.

 

“You make me cheesy... and sweet.... and hot....”

 

His last comment startled me and I breathed in sharply.

“H-hot?”

 

“Oh yes... You do... And don't breath in like that. It reminds me of how I made you gasp because of me”, he replied huskily.

 

“I hope you are alone......”

 

“Not really. I'm at the airport. Sungmin is already eyeing me weirdly”, he laughed.

 

“Because you are being weird”, I heard Sungmin say.

 

“Whatever, hyung. What are you doing?”

 

“Talking to you....”, I said while smiling.

 

“..... I meant besides that”, he chuckled.

 

“I was waiting for your call. That dream made me really panic so I wasn't able to focus on studying for my finals.”

 

“You what? Yah, you better go study now, Missy.”

 

“Or what?”

 

“Or I won't let you come to Korea”, Kyuhyun threatened.

 

“What? But baby~”, I whined.

 

“No buts. Go study. Or sleep. Depends on the time.”

 

“Fine. But you better go home quickly to rest. You had a long flight.”

 

“I will, don't worry. I'll call soon again. After your finals. Don't want to disturb you.”

 

“That's sweet. Thanks. I love you.”

 

“Love you more, my little princess”, Kyuhyun said.

I blushed when hearing that. His words still affected me that much.

“I know I made you blush, cupcake”, Kyuhyun chuckled.

 

“N-no... did not”, I stuttered embarrassed, wondering how the hell he knew that.

 

“Deny it all you want but I know I did. Bye, cupcake. Meet you in our dreams.”

 

“B-bye, oppa.”

 

He hung up and I buried my head in a pillow that was on my bed. How was he still able to embarrass or make me blush this easily? I cuddled into my bed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to study for two hours before going to bed when I had another dream.

 

 

Omg finally a new chapter >< Uni is forever keeping me busy and it's been crazy this week with my exams but I kept working on this chapter all these days so it slowly got this long >< Hope you liked it and I'm not sure if I'll be able to updated before I leave to Korea in some days... And I doubt I will be able to update there but I hope I will get inspired in Korea for the future chapters :3 love ya all and I will be waiting for some comments... maybe what you think the next dream will be about :D

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HaRinnie
it's just awesome to finish a chapter during the train ride n_n keeping yourself busy kkk

Comments

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katharina
#1
Chapter 42: forever being the only one to comment OTL (well, maybe some others are going to comment later but right now......)
cheesy cupcakes~~~~~ really, i don't think i ever read a ff cheesier than yours XD luckily i like cheesy ;)
oh... and... i'll look forward to reading the future chapters... with your new experiences and stuff ㅋㅋㅋ
katharina
#2
Chapter 41: hey! it's finally me! commenting your newest (but not so new anymore) chapter^^
i'm so sorry but i'm laughing so hard XD the thing with whipping the tears away XDDDDD
and the dream.... when you read it already it's somehow way too funny so i cracked up at that part...... yeah. i think there is something wrong with me but.... no but(t)s! i'm weird and that's okay and i miss you :(
and i really hope that maybe you have a little time over there (far far away on the other side of the world) to write and update *sigh*
poor kyu, poor cupcake... did i ever mention that i like cupcakes? most likely. well yeah~
so again... miss you. and please~ update so i can write another stupid comment XD
katharina
#3
Chapter 40: oh my. the first part was soooooooooooooo boring...... but okay. i read it already XD you know i liked it when i read it for the first time^^
and really? princesssoomin (you know you forgot one 's', right?)???!!! well.... can't be helped now. it's too late...... you know what would be funny? why don't you change your real twitter name into this one?! ㅋㅋㅋ
anything else....... nope. can't think of something. besides..........
딸기 ^-^
kelly2010
#4
Chapter 40: Don't leave me in suspense! What is Kyu gonna do????
katharina
#5
Chapter 39: oh. and it's me again XD
don't be mean to kyu and just gibe him that stupid kiss.
but nice - leaving your eonni all alone with her bias... leaving your best friend all alone with a group of stupid but adorable idiots.... THUMBS UP XDDDDD
katharina
#6
Chapter 38: OMG! that poor eonni XD
it's so cute how everyone protects her. and the shower scene... so cute and adorable and _______ed kyu. YAY. such a fun chapter :D
katharina
#7
Chapter 37: i really can't understand such low life humans like that girl. WHO THE HELL WOULD WASTE CHERRY JUICE???!!!!! oh. and the threatening isn't nice either.
and if you dare to let this nightmare become reality i'll forget everything and i'll become a low life human and soak YOU with cherry juice!!! XF
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd
gomenasaii
#8
Chapter 2: your story is so cute and I like your detailed style of writing :DD good job :3
katharina
#9
Chapter 36: MIND BLOWN!!! WOAAAHHHHH!!!! KYU!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!! SCANDAL!!!!! WOAAH!!!!! oh god. what a shock you gave me there. tweeting this is as good as suicide. but yeah. WHY NOT?! insane. he is completely insane. but it's cute~ :D
katharina
#10
Chapter 35: YAY! i so hoped someone would take a picture of them cuddling while they sleep ㅋㅋㅋ had lots of fun reading this chapter. so cute~ :D